csua.org/u/axc -> blog.contentious.com/archives/2005/01/28/online-porcupines-pricky-business-online-vermin-part-1
Net Effects on Society amy @ 9:43 am (NOTE: This is an installment in my Handling Online Vermin series about addressing people with poor online communication habits.
Theres a rude, condescending, dismissive, or insulting edge t o nearly everything they say. Often these barbs are thinly disguised as humor, or as hyper-rationality. Believe it or not, most porcupines are not aware of how irritating or hu rtful they can be. They believe its just their personality, or they transfer the problem to you. ") They believe th ey are concealing their vulnerabilities, when in fact barbs only make u nderlying insecurities more obvious.
Both sport a coat of sharp quills which cover it entirely save for the face and soft underbelly. In the rodent version, these quills are modified ha irs. In the online version, these quills are linguistic Both types of porcupines do not actively attack unless cornered. A swat o f the tail is generally the extent of their active defense capability. You only get hurt if you brus h up against them or if they brush up against you. While the rodent porcupine is shy and reclusive, online porcupines often are gregarious. They tend to post liberally to discussion forums, chat r ooms, weblog comment threads, and on their own weblogs and sites.
This means that vast swaths of the online popula tion encounter porcupine quills on a regular basis, especially in discus sion areas. It especially sucks because porcupines are likely to make an internet new comers initial interactions rather unpleasant. Ive spoken with many pe ople who decided they dont like the internet because they ran into a bunch of rude jerks right off the bat. On further discussion, these r ude jerks generally turned out to be porcupines. Porcupines create a ho stile environment for online newcomers, which negatively impacts online biodiversity. THE NATURE OF QUILLS Online porcupine quills are composed of words configured in ways that i rritate, abrade, and ultimately penetrate ones social skin. Generally these statements are loaded wi th assumptions, overtones, or insinuations that overpower the literal me aning of the words. Example: Heres a recent exchange from a Usenet science fiction discussio n forum: Initial statement: In order to do this, we need to hypothesize how we c an recognize sentience, then test out this hypothesis with humans (and others which we accept as sentient). Porcupine response: Youve got the cart before the horse. You might as well say we are trying to determine how to recognize pain in computers. It doesnt help to redefine pain to be something that might be operati onally observable outside biological systems, because at that point you arent talking about pain any more. Now, this particular porcupine was probably only trying to voice disagree ment with the premise of the original statement, and maybe even show a s ense of humor. The underlyi ng but overpowering message was, You dont know what youre talking abo ut. In rodent porcupines, quills are sharp-pointed, fitted with microscopic barbs, and expand on contact with warm flesh. Muscle contractions in a q uill victim work the quill deeper, as much as an inch per day unless qui lls are removed promptly. Online porcupine quills also cause a severe swelling reaction when they p enetrate someones social skin. When the unfortunate recipient of an onl ine quill responds quickly, venting anger or pain, the quill is not expe lled but instead digs in deeper. It becomes the focus of the conversatio n, and thus destroys the conversation. Once youve been pricked by an online quill, keep still and it will proba bly fall away. UNDERSTAND THE INTENT (OR LACK THEREOF) Its important to recognize that most online porcupines are not malicious . Generally, they are merely thoughtless or inept communicators. Usually this results from severe conversational myopia most online quills res ult when the porcupine overfocuses on one aspect of something someone sa id, and loses sight of the broader context (including the consequences o f being rude). This insight holds the key to managing encounters with online porcupines: Never assume that any online statement (especially in a discussion) whi ch sounds like an attack or insult was intentionally hostile. If you fin d yourself feeling insulted, dismissed, condescended to, or otherwise at tacked by an online statement, PAUSE! Consci ously recognize that you may be dealing with a porcupine, and then decid e whether the situation should be addressed or dropped. In most encounters with online porcupines, your best response is to not r espond at all. That is, to ignore the remark and exit the conversation. This choice is especially wise if you do no t know the porcupine personally and have no need to forge or maintain a relationship of any kind with that person. Unfortunately, although most online porcupines are not malicious, they co mmonly evoke angry or hurt responses as if theyd initiated an attack. T his prompts the porcupine to respond in turn with more verbal quills, an d perhaps genuine vitriol (an escalating weapon not available to the rod ential species).
flame war, one of t he great online environmental hazards. When porcupines find themselves consistently ignored in online exchanges, they either recognize that their communication style needs polishing or they go elsewhere for interaction. They generally do not desire and do not enjoy hostility. IF YOU KNOW THE PORCUPINE Occasionally, there is a good reason for continuing a conversation with a n online porcupine. This is the case if a desired or necessary relations hip is at stake which requires you to deal with this person repeatedly. For instance, the porcupine might be a friend, colleague, or coworker wh om you do not wish to alienate. In these cases, the best response is to PAUSE, evaluate the situation, an d dont assume hostility. Next go private continue the conversation vi a private e-mail or even a phone conversation. Start with, Regarding X, I realize you did not mean to be (rude, condescending, insensitive). How ever, I found myself reacting strongly to your statement so I thought Id discuss this privately with you to make sure were really understand ing each other. Dont expect an immediately positive and constructive reaction. No one li kes to be told that they have been rude or thoughtless. Porcupines are e xceedingly defensive creatures, so expect defensiveness and ignore it. After youve broached the topic of perceived rudeness, move on to attem pt to discuss the matter at hand calmly and impersonally. Your goal in this private conversation is not to correct the porcupine or get him to admit his rudeness or repent. Your goal is simply to directl y notify the porcupine that he has been tossing quills around. If the porcupine is too reactive, let the conversation drop even if it seems important. Remember: Porcupines have no protective quills on their face, so saving face is crucial to their survival and taming. Often Iv e found that when I give a porcupine space and time to calm down, furthe r conversations are far less quill-ridden.
com/archives/ 2005/01/28/online-porcupines-pricky-business-online-vermin-part-1/trackb ack/ 1 Now, this particular porcupine was probably only trying to voice dis agreement with the premise of the original statement, and maybe even show a sense of humor. The response was direct, addressed the point with personal style, and didnt condescend to the original poster by assuming she was incapable of adult discourse. In fact, at risk of being branded a porcupine myself, Ive gotta tell ya youre spreading the disease here, not the cure. By giving hypersensitive folks a justification for their feelings of distress at the first sign of intellectual conflict, youre enabling the kind of pointless exchanges that it appears youd like to avoid. Rogers First Law of Online Community: Cyberspace encourages a strange sort of intimacy. These are the Physics of Communication, and youll be much happier in the long run if you accept them and expect them. More significantly, I must ask: If the statement youve got the cart before the horse is somehow an implicit example of myopic, malformed s...
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