3/1     Wedding gift advice: how much should you spend on a gift for
        someone in your top 5 closest friends?  Does it make a difference
        if your are good friends with just one person or the couple?
        $100?  $300?  $500?
        \_ I was best man at a wedding for some really good friends (both
           of them) and I got them a case of very nice wine that only
           matures in about 12 years or so.  Be creative--I think expensive,
           dull gifts are lame, and won't buy from a wedding registry out of
           general principle (let the relatives take care of blenders and
           silverware and shit like that) but that's  just me.  Just get
           them something you put some thought and effort into.  Rules about
           how much a gift should cost seem sort of pointless.  -John
           \_ Then you're an idiot. My wife and I spent at least twenty
              hours working on the registry and all of our friends did the
              same. Nobody you just gave a gift to is going to say this to your
              face but get over yourself and get something people have actually
              indicated they want. As mentioned below, though, cash is greatly
              appreciated as a gift at wedding time. It's really what most
              newlyweds need most. We are going to have to postpone any honey
              moon for quite awhile for lack of it. -- ulysses
           \_ Maybe pointless to follow them slavishly.  But consider someone
              from Japan or China or India or Russia...say they need some
              kind of basic guideline.  A lot of these answers although
              creative do not answer the basic question.  Obviously, if you
              are a surgeon making $250k/yr the answers are different than
              if you are a math teacher at a high school in Virginia.
              If you are an artist who has gallery exhibits, "your art"
              may be fine.  A sketch of the Capanille you did last saturday
              would be a little silly otherwise.  I think for a single person
              going to a wedding, who has additional expenses for travel,
              $300 is pretty fair.
                \_ Good point, given that in Japan you give ornate little
                   envelopes full of cash, and at Bangladeshi weddings (at
                   least in the UK) you just dump moolah into a bag.  But
                   I think that regardless of where you're from or how much
                   you make, something cool/creative will always come across
                   well and be appreciated.  -John
        \_ What I heard was whatever it costs them to invite you to their
           wedding x 2. So yes, you bring more money as a couple.
           \_ I mean:  If you are friends with both the bride and groom
              do you expect to spend more than if you are on one side of
              the family.
              \- when i dont like one party, i try to give something the
                 party i like will get in the divorce, like if she is a
                 dumb, materialistic bitch and he is an ethical guy with
                 a GiantBrain, i'd give them the OED.
        \_ i just give them cash, $200 or so.
        \_ Why don't you try to buy them something nice that they might
           need?  -tom
        \_ Depends on your income, but I think anything less than $400-500
           is an insult to one of your closest friends. No, it does not
           make a difference if you know them both. Give as if you are
           friends with both even when you are not. FWIW, I gave an
           expensive set of knives and he got them in the divorce. Woo hoo!
           So I guess guns are good gifts if you are friends with the man!
           \_ ugh.. i feel cheap, i only spent $100 or so.
        \_ If your friend is a man, the best gift you could possible
           give him would be to prevent him from getting married. He
           may never thank you for it, but take comfort in the fact
           that you have saved one man from falling into the bottomless
           pit of misery that results from marriage.
           \_ bah, u just need to learn communication skills.  see
              men are from mars, by john gray.
                \_ Communication skills won't help you when your
                   wife decides that she would rather have your
                   money and a life of luxury in the Bahamas based
                   on your blood and sweat rather than work to
                   build a life together. Communications skills
                   won't help you in a community property state
                   when she lies and tells the all-men-are-rapists
                   divorce court judge that you were a spousal
                   abuser. Communication skills won't help when
                   every cent you make you is directly transfered
                   to her account while you don't have enough to
                   buy a burrito at Taco Bell.
                   \_ ah, BDG is a wife-beater; unsurprising.
                      \_ This isn't the BDG, just an imposter.
                                                   -- bdg #1 fan
        \_ One thing people on this thread have suggested is not getting
           stuff from the registry.  I suspect that these people are not
           married.  The point of a registry is to make it more likely
           that you get things you want/need/can use and to prevent you
           from getting a whole bunch of weird stuff that you don't want.
           After all, people only have so much room for decorations and
           if everyone gets the newlyweds artsy stuff, there won't be
           anywhere to put it.  Also, if the couple is paying for the
           wedding themselves (as opposed to parents paying), I can
           guarantee you that money is always appreciated since weddings
           can be very expensive.
           \_ I think the most badass thing ever would be to register at
              mcmaster carr.
           \_ As a sorta-recently married person, I agree with this:
              registry is *good*: we wouldn't have put it on the registry
              if we didn't want it! I also don't care how much a guest
              spends because the wedding is a party for everyone. I mean,
              don't be cheap if you can help it, but really it's just
              nice to celebrate. If you don't want to get something
              from the registry, then *cash* (or equivalent: e.g., gift
              certificates) is very appreciated. Again, amount doesn't matter.
              Getting three toaster ovens is lame (yes, we really did).
              However, we did get a few unexpected gifts which made
              us happy -- our favorite unexpected gift was a hedgehog
              mud scraper (for shoes/boots). Obviously it wasn't expensive
              but in the midst of opening gift-after-gift, it gave us
              quite a laugh. And we use it all the time.
        \_ It's all circumstantial. The registry is a guide that can help
           you make a useful choice (however, sometimes the registry has
           been made by the bride only, thus explaining "coral" and "seafoam"
           as color guides).I've given gifts when I was poor and when I had
           money, and when the couple were newlywed (never lived together)
           and older divorcees, each with their own homes. Give what you are
           comfortable with relative to both of your circumstances. A wedding
           is supposed to be celebrating the joining of two people's lives,
           not a treasure hunt. That happens when you graduate.
           \_ I got nothing when I graduated - not even a party. I never
              understood parents giving their kids things like cars when
              they graduate high school. I think I got an expensive pen.
              \_ I think it's because people generally need a car, and the
                 parents have money and the kid doesn't, so the parents feel
                 it's sensible to give them a car, and graduation seems like a
                 logical time, as it usually coincides closely with the 18th
                 birthday.
        \_ How about offering some service as a gift?  An caucasian co-worker
           of mine was an amateur photographer, so he offered to take pictures
           in my Chinese wedding as a gift (and it worked out well even though
           he didn't understand the rituals).  A service as a gift is silly in
           the Chinese mind because a service is just "helping out", but I
           think in the American mind it's a sincere gift.