4/3     Please stop replacing the word 'cycling' with 'masterbation'. Are
        we in junior high again? Allow me to try again. I'm new to biking
        and I think it is so much better than drugs, therapy, and
        certainly 1000% better than women. My bike comes with a manual,
        it doesn't come with in-laws, it functions predictably without
        mood swings and it doesn't whine unless something is really wrong.
        Can you say the same about women? No. My new God is Sheldon Brown
        and I think spandex, shaved legs, and Bianchi are cool. Cycling
        brings me a lot of joy and new hope in my otherwise unfulfilling,
        platonic, depressed and pathetic geek life. Would you like to
        share your cycling story?
        \_ I think you'll find cycling can't substitute for a sex life.
           \_ Cycling can both improve one's physical appearance and improve
              one's chances of hooking up with a hot cycling chick.
              \_ this picture describes how much attraction I have for
                 cycling chicks based on my 2 years of cycling experience:
                 http://static.flickr.com/14/14274225_cb29eddd3b_o.jpg
           \_ It is when all of a sudden you have none and find out how
              pathetic you are in real life                     -op
        \_ You sound like BDG in spirit.  I sure miss BDG....
        \_ Bicycles are the noblest of inventions.  I spent 3 months cycling
           around South East Asia.  Since then I let my drivers license expire,
           and am the happier for it.  -scottyg
           \_ How do you get into bars?  I also do not drive, but I hate
              carrying my damn passport around when I want to get drunk,
              so I keep my license.
              \_ CA photo ID.  -tom
        \_ this post and its evolution through the day have brought me
           extreme joy.  thank you.  -motd smartass #1 fan
        \_ I still don't know who the fuck Sheldon Brown is. Do you cycle
           with this guy or masturbate with him?
           \_ Sheldon Brown has a very useful web site on bike maintenance and
              other bike-related tips.  -tom