8/25    http://27bslash6.com/missy.html --linkpusher
        \_ they'd be funnier if they were true
           \_ So.. you're looking for reality on the internet? -!OP

4/7     Climate change kills arctic birds -- but not just in the ways you
        think:
        http://www.csua.org/u/qhh

8/10    I'm the person who took care of my gf's sister's cat while she was
        away with the Air Force. In return, I asked her to check on my
        sons for a week while I was away. She skipped a day (and committed
        a lie of omission when she didn't say so but admitted it when
        questioned) and the upstairs bedroom was full of my sons' diarrhea all
        over everything (wooden floor, bookcase, blankets) - which is not
        typical for my litter-trained sons, but probably a result of my
        absence - but she didn't clean it up or even mention it to me. I
        got in at 11pm at night and spent 2 hours dealing with that. After
        I cleaned her place spotless I'm VERY pissed.
        \_ I keep a mental blacklist of people I never ever want to be in
           contact with. Very few people get on that list. It sounds like
           this person needs to be put on this black list. FYI, for example,
           this junior high "friend" that I invited to the wedding said he
           would come to the wedding. I even confirmed it the week before.
           I reserved 1/2 of a table, or $300 worth. My wedding came, and
           1/2 of that table was empty. I called him up a few days later
           and he said he totally forgot because there was this really
           important church retreat. Then he came up with a bunch of excuses,
           said he was sorry, and said he would reimburse. Then later on
           he said "I don't think it should cost $300, ours was really cheap."
           I never heard from him again. He is on my blacklist. He sounds
           like the same breed as your gf's sister.
        \_ I don't hang out with my friends who have kids anymore. Once
           they started the family nucleus, nothing outside matters anymore.
           You're an outsider. You're of someone who could help them. Period.
        \_ You know, sometimes you do meet people who are irresponsible or
           who just don't care. There's not much you can do. Some people are
           just like that, just learn to not deal with these people. I've
           learned to ignore some of my family members who are totally
           wackos. Yeah, they're family... SO WHAT? If they can't help
           you, they can't.
           \_ I have a bunch of crazy and irresponsible relatives, including
              one who has been in and out of prison and another who is a
              crazy (literally) drug abusing homeless guy. I have learned over
              one who has been in and out of prison and another who is an
              insane (literally) drug abusing homeless guy. I have learned over
              the years not to trust them and consider my help to them to
              be charity, nothing more. With friends, I would expect some kind
              of reciprocity, but with a charity case, you just help them and
              don't expect anything in return except gratitude.
        \_ Yea, that sucks.  Get someone else next time, or kennel them.
        \_ I totally agree with you.  It's not too much to expect a threesome
           orgy in return.
           \_ that's not an orgy.
              \_ Good orgies have an even ratio of men/women present.  It's
                 just simple orgy etiquette.
        \_ Hey douchebag who changed 'cats' to 'sons' -- get a life.

7/8    if you loved someone, would you express her cats anal glands for her?
       it keeps dragging its ass around on the carpet, leaving stains.
        \_ I have owned a lot of cats, including 4 at present, and never
           had to deal with such unpleasantness. What did the vet say?

2/19    Mmm, puppy paws, or "Why US Fois Gras is OK".
        http://www.villagevoice.com/content/printVersion/894706

2/17    Whoa dude, I didn't know you could keep exotic pets:
        http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/02/17/chimpanzee.attack/index.html
        \- jeeze [long url preserved]:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2009/02/18/2009-02-18_charla_nash_lost_eyes_nose_and_jaw_in_ch.html

1/22    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,481426,00.html
        Clinically Depressed Poodle Mauls Former French President Chirac
        Told you Poodles are bad.

11/14   Alright enough of this economic meltdown we're gonna die crap.
        It's time to inject humor and entertainment into motd. Below
        is How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You. Funny shit
        if you love cats (or hate cats):
        http://www.catswhothrowupgrass.com/kill.php

10/21   WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?
        \_ 'COS SHE NEVER CALLS, SHE NEVER WRITES, AND SHE RAN OFF WITH
           MY DOG AND MY BEST FRIEND. I REALLY JUST MISS THE DOG.
           \_ EMARKP WHO ARE YOU VOTING FOR?

4/17    And now for something *completely* different:
        "The Near-Tragic Tale of an A Bunnies"
        http://www.joshilynjackson.com/mt

4/11    Women infected with t. gondii toxoplasma spent more money on clothes
        and were consistently rated as more attractive. We found they
        were more easy-going, more warm-hearted, had more friends and
        cared more about how they looked, he said. However, they were
        also less trustworthy and had more relationships with men.
        http://www.futurepundit.com/archives/001675.html

4/4     Taking 10 year olds to day spaws. ew.
                                   \_ There's no w in that word
                                      \_ SC accent
        http://www.phillymag.com/articles/pretty_babies/page5
        \_ What is your point? There's a market for everything. Hummer,
           dog feng-shui, puppy accupuncture, a bunch of cat psychologists
           near Brentwood/Beverly Hills, gangsta rap, spinner wheels, huge
           suburban homes in Glendora with 1.5 hour commute to nearest tech
           work in Irvine or Santa Monica, etc. Come to think of it, on
           average, people in LA seem to have pretty high self esteem and
           fairly low IQ... perfect place to test for weird market ideas.
           \_ I take it you didn't RTFA since your reply seems to be talking
              about something totally different...
              \_ You're right. I'm just PMSing.

2/28    5:30am-6:00am bark bark bark
        7:00am-10:00am bark bark bark
        I don't know where it's coming from and it's driving me NUTS.
        I can't sleep as the sound goes through my ear plugs.
        What can I do?
        \_ Talk to your neighbor about it.  Then call animal control if it
           doesn't stop.
           \_ Ding! Ding! Ding!  We have a winner!  The way sound complaints
              work in most places, the sound has to be persistent (as measured
              on the cop's watch according to local statutes) and before or
              after certain hours.  So 10am barking?  SOL.  6am barking will
              get your neighbor talked to and eventually fined if you live in
              a civil area.  Anyway, a dog barking that much is probably not
              being taken care of so a call to animal control might save the
              dog from bad owners.  There are few bad dogs, there are lots of
              bad owners.
              \_ On my street now and then some kid goes up and down on some
                 mini-motorcycle that is insanely loud. It's in the daytime
                 but it's still really too loud. Can I call the cops on him?
                 \_ Seem to remember there was a law passed in CA requiring
                    a drivers licence for those things.  It may have gone
                    into effect by now.  Call the cops and ask.
                 \_ Yes and I did a few years ago when the kids in my area
                    bought one and took turns going up and down my street
                    (not, BTW, their own street!). The police said that
                    most of those things are not street legal and they
                    would cite them if it wasn't. I never hear the kids
                    anymore.
        \_ figure out what keeps it quiet from 6 to 7 am
           \_ Bitches?
        \_ poison it.
           \_ That can get you in jail.
              \_ A sense of humor can do that in some countries too.
                 \_ Killing someone's dog can get you in jail right here.
                 \_ Yah, it's the obvious joke. I thought I'd point out that
                    there are specific laws about poisoning pets.

2/27    Pet snake ate a pet dog. This is totally cool!!!
        http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080227/ap_on_fe_st/australia_snake_attack

2/26    Dogs lift up their legs to mark territories. The more pee and
        smellier the pee, the more they claim their territory. What
        are some common human behaviors that are similar to "marking"?
        \_ The best example I can think of is pimped up car playing super
           loud heart thumping music.
           \_ racist!
        \_ motd?
        \_ Engagement ring
           \_ Good one!
        \_ For human, substitute pee with cum.
        \_ what could be more obvious than 'fence building'
           \_ From what my sister told me who used to live in Davis suburb,
              those husbands are not trying to mark their terriroty.  They are
              implicitly competing for who has the best looking frontyard.
           \_ I like it, good one. Better-- sitting in front of the
              porch with your shotgun.
           \_ Interestingly, after I built a fence to semi-enclose our front
              yard, the amount of dog poop in the yard drastically reduced.
              Obviously it's not the dogs who know not to easily walk around
              the fence.  It's the dog owners/guardians who know they probably
              shouldn't walk their dogs into my front yard now that a short
              fence is there.
              \_ Dog owners who let their dogs use your lawn as a toilet
                 are scum.
                 \_ what about cat 'owners'
                    \_ My cats are inside 100% of the time.
                    \_ people who are scratched up by their own cats are
                       'claimed' by their cats.
        \_ Human beings build the biggest house they can on the biggest
           hill they can find.

2/12    GWB wins the presidency and the fucking Beagle is #1 dog in the
        Westminster Dog Show. What has the world come to?
        http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23096596
        \_ Why do you hate beagles?
           \_ They're loud and bark a lot in my neighbor's backyard
              all day long and it's really annoying the hell out of
              everyone. Apparently, they're also stupid and are listed
              at the bottom of dog intelligence:
              http://www.agilitynet.com/reference/dogintelligence.html
              Just go to the The Most Difficult to Train section. Beagles
              were bred to sniff for fox/rabbits for hunters, and their
              awsome sense of smell and independence and loud bark to
              alert for preys were extremely useful in the old days.
              However, their loud bark and independence is a liability
              in the modern world.
              \_ shut up, kchang.

1/31    This should never happen, to anyone
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzjLlqIuVhI
        [Title: Bird Poops in Mouth]
        \_ Make bird poop illegal!
        \_ totally 100% fake
           \_ Oh, you were there?
              \_ No, I just know fake when I see it.
                 \_ Ah, it is:
                    http://www.bobanddavid.com/2008/01/my_newest_superd_piece.html
                    \_ Booyah!  Right again.

12/31   "Wind turbines offer cheap energy"
        http://www.csua.org/u/kck
        This is not the big and costly turbines that you see in Livermore.
        \_ Wind power kills birds.  Can't use that.
           \_ I say we throw wind-farm NIMBY-ists into the blades!
              \_ Saving birds from a horrible death is not NIMBY-ism.  Birds
                 everywhere should be saved.  Do you know what NIMBY means?
                 \_ Yes, it is.  Maybe not to the letter, but certainly in
                    spirit.  Quit being an overly literal douche.  Birds
                        \_ I stopped reading your reply right at this line.
                           There's no reason to keep reading after you post
                           garbage like that.  Have a happy new year.  Maybe
                           one of your NYRs should be "responding in a mature
                           manner to other human beings and treating people
                           with respect".  This isn't junior high school.
                    fly into glass buildings and die all the time.  In places
                    where the NIMBY wankers bitch too much, they put
                    silhouettes of predatory birds on the glass, and this
                    pretty much solves the problem.  Instead of being a NIMBY
                    douche, why not offer a contructive solution, e.g. fly
                    kites that cast shadows of predatory birds near the wind
                    farms. -dans,!pp
                    \_ Problem is that it's the raptors that are are
                       killed.
                    \_ Problem is that it's the raptors that are killed.
           \_ Not a problem in the vicinity of airports.  Birds there need to
              be driven away or killed anyway.
              \_ Why should they be killed or driven away from airports?
                 \_ Bird strikes.  http://www.birdstrike.org
           \_ Did you actually look at the video? That wouldn't kill any
              bird unless the bird was amazingly stupid -- which would help
              weed out moron birds from the gene pool.
              \_ Can't see the video from here.  If it is bird safe then I'm
                 in favor.  Thanks.
                 \_ it looks like a giant billboard made of spinning hubcaps.
                    non-stationary and could only take wind from a single
                    direction.  On the other hand, the only birds that might
                    get caught in it would be tiny ones.  Sparrow size...
           \_ New wind farms don't have this problem.  It's just a red herring.
              \_ That is correct -- the old ones had rapidly spinning blades
                 Bird cuisinarts
        \_ Awesome. I want some right now.  They look a little loud though.