5/14    NSFW. "... who cares what a vagina feels like when you can have your
        hand whenever you want it? However, I do admit that like in the
          \_ The problem with that is I never "want" my hand.
        movie "American Pie," I have used an apple pie to please myself,
        and it felt great! I have also tried using a microwaved banana
        peel, but I liked the apple pie best. "
        http://www.jackinworld.com/qow/q136.html
        \_ I once tried a ripe papaya with the seeds removed.
        \_ Ick.

4/24    dear married men, was sex more pleasurable without any condom?
        I've never had sex without condom and I'm curious. ok thx.
        \_ Yes it's INCREDIBLY good and addictive. It's better than drugs.
           It feels really really really good. Also note that if you do get
           addicted to bareback sex your life after 9 months will be
           hell for the rest of your life.
        \_ Try getting a steady girlfriend instead of using
           prostitutes.
            \_ gf insists on condom and would not discuss any other
               alternatives. You know, they have too much side effects
               like blood clot and stuff.
                \_ There're other effective techniques other than the
                \_ More likely to be a problem if the user smokes or is > 35yo.
                \_ There're other effective techniques than the
                   pill.  IUDs are quite effective and much safer these
                   days.
                   \_ Women still get pregnant on the IUD.  The advantage is
                      there's no pill to remember and they last for several
                      years (Mirena 5 years; copper T 10 years).
                      Disadvantages include not finding out about a bad
                      install or dislodging event until several weeks into
                      a pregnancy.
        \_ Hell yes.
        \_ Kimono ultra-thin condoms are better than regular condoms, but it
        \_ Kimono MicroThin condoms are better than regular condoms, but it
           still can't beat no condoms.  That is, unless one has premature
           ejaculation problem.  --- married 8 yrs
           \_ EIGHT years? How much are you actually getting now? Do you
              see a trend?
              \_ Frequency dropped quite a bit after our first son was born,
                 and dropped to almost zero after our second son was born.
                 That sucks.
        \_ The difference is actually pretty huge. I rarely went condomless
           before marraige and it is nice to not have to anymore.
        \_ Why are you framing this question for married men? Also, I am
           surprised at how many people are okay with having their wives
           on hormones. Maybe they should consider vasectomies. I fail to
           see how married == no condom. Disease shouldn't be an issue, but
           kids still are.
           \_ How many men out there do you personall know are NOT ok
              with their wives on pills?
              \_ I'm not. I don't usually ask other couples what sort of
                 contraceptives they use.
           \_ Dude, anal sex is so much better without a condom.
           \_ You know most women have no problems with the pill.  Why should
              I care if she has no side effects?
              \_ Actually, a lot of women do have side-effects and other
                 issues with the pill. Not a problem for the Hooters girl you
                 want to bang. A big problem if it's your wife and you care
                 about her health.
           \_ Vasectomies are cool if you don't want any more kids again ever,
              but they're not a reversible form of contraception.  Condoms,
              the pill, etc. are.
           \_ Sex with a condom is not sex... sorry.. after wife gave birth
              had to use condom, because she couldn't go back on the pill
              because she was breast feeding. It's just not the same. The
              warmth and the wetness can't be beat.
              \_ If she was trying to get knocked up then, well, duh.
                 Have all the unprotected sex you want. Re: "back on the
                 pill"
        \_ Just get a fleshlight. Women are just bitchy hassles.
           \_ How easy is it to clean?  It looks like it can't be cleaned by
              flushing water into it.
                \_ The withdrawal method has an 83% success rate

4/16    Hey women, take note of this: Wealthy men cheat WAAAY more than
        poor men. "For men with money, infidelity is just another perk.
        Among men making more than $300,000 a year, 32 percent report
        cheating, compared to 21 percent of men making less than
        $35,000 a year."
        http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17951664/page/2
        \_ But 90% of the women married to the men making more than $300,000
           don't give a shit.
        \_ 32% is still less than 1/3. "just another perk" is WAAAY overstating
           it.

4/9     I'm in my late 30s but I still look like a kid. I'm about 5'4"
        and 120 pounds. I dress well-- I don't wear GAP/Old Navy
        crap. However some people at work still treat me like a kid.
        I'm thinking about dying my hair partially white. What's a good
        hair dye kit and where can I buy it?
        \_ If you look like a kid and dresses up in a real Armani
           suit, you'll still look like a kid. The exception is
           Ted Koppel from NBC Dateline. He's 5'4" and looks old.
        \_ shave it bald and grow a beard.
        \_ Maybe you should do it backward.  Start act like you're having
        \_ Maybe you should do it backward.  Start acting like you're having
           mid-life crisis and start wearing GAP, while subtly displaying a
           bottle of arthritis pills and an AARP brochure on your desk.
        \_ drink whiskey, smoke cigars, play poker, shoot guns,
          drive a big ass SUV.
        \_ drink whiskey, smoke cigars, play poker, shoot guns, drive a big
           ass SUV.
        \_ Just keep banging teenage and early 20something tail and consider
           yourself blessed. That's how I deal with it, anyhow.
           \_ I got tired of banging young girls by the time I was 34
              (read the poll below on "dating teenagers"). How old are
              you now and are you still banging teenagers?
                \_ 36 and yes
                   \_ Get married, grow up, start acting like an adult
                      and people will treat you like one.
        \_ Your only hope is a change in attitude and presentation.  If you
           don't call them on it they'll keep doing it.
        \_ Stop whining snd be grateful for what you do have. Try getting
         something when you are in your late 30s/early 40s with noticable
        grey patches in your hair. So much for grey hair being distinguished.

3/15    http://www.csua.org/u/i8v (Yahoo! News)
        "The chemicals, known as phthalates, have already been implicated in
        male reproductive problems including low sperm counts and low
        testosterone levels."
        Look honey, I told you I hate taking showers for a reason.

3/12    Best wikipedia page ever:
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Chase
        \_ Uh huh. -dans

12/26   1/6 women are victims of [attempted] rape, compared to 1/33 for men.
        Wow, never realized that it's that high:
        http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16361153
        \_ I don't think it is.  They cite the U.S. Department of Justice
           for their statistics, so here's some data from them:
               http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/cvus/current/cv0502.pdf
           According to that, in 2005 there were about 115,000 rapes or
           attempted rapes (including verbal threats) of women in the U.S.
           age 12 and over.  Even assuming each one of those was a different
           victim, which seems unlikely, that's a maximum of 0.09% of women
           who can be victims each year.  That can't possibly add to one
           in six (17%) over a lifetime.
           Also, the article says "experts say men are far less likely to
           report a rape to authorities".  But according to the USDOJ the
           reporting rates are nearly equal, at least if you lump together
           rape and sexual assault:
               http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/pdf/cvus/current/cv0593.pdf
           They estimate a 36% reporting rate for men and 38% for women.

12/12   So what are DeBeers and Tiffany's gonna do to debunk the
        untrue story of Blood Diamonds?
        http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/africa/12/12/diamonds.koinange/index.html
        \_ They will bombard the media with ads that claim that their
           diamonds are clean. Voila! They've cleared up all misconceptions
           AND increased their visibility.
        \_ Tiffany, conflict-free since 2002
           http://csua.org/u/hos (cbsnews.com)

12/11   http://tinyurl.com/yj4dh2 (reuters.com)
        The average parthas have small penis

12/11   http://tinyurl.com/yj4dh2 (reuters.com)
        The average parthas have small penis

11/3    For you John. Don't brag about your superior EuroAmeritrash penis,
        it is considered rude in other cultures:
        http://www.cnn.com/2006/TRAVEL/10/31/cultural.etiquette
        \_ No mention of penis size.

10/30   Sheldon Brown is dying :( It's a dark dark day:
        http://sheldonbrown.org/journal/health.html
        \_ Cheer up, so is Fidel Castro!

10/26   http://www.barebackresources.com/guide_safer.html
        Not work safe but pretty hilarious to read.
        \_ I think it's sexist and discriminatory that they automatically
           assume it will be two men doing it.  -John
           \_ Idea for potential humor:8, Actual execution and effect:2.
              Would you like to try again?
              \_ Take off your pants, insert a finger and lube up, and we'll
                 give it a go.  -John
                 give it a go.  -Gay John

10/17   Gals, don't date macho man if you want a potent man in bed.
        http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061011/hl_nm/workouts_fertility_dc
        \_ You can be potent but not fertile.
        \_ This only discusses the issue of fertility, not orgasms/screw.
           Women probably care more about orgasms/screw.
           \_ Women mostly care about money.
           \_ Orgasms/screw???  Remind me not to have sex with you.
              \_ Don't you want to have lots of orgasms, assuming
                  you're a female?  Who do you get more pleasurable
                  sex with, a couch potato or an attractive, fit
                  exerciser?
                  \_ Exercising doesn't make your schlong any bigger or
                     more talented.
                     \_ But you can thrust longer and faster without getting
                        tired.
                        \_ If you thing stamina for _thrusting_ == greater
                           female pleasure you need to put down the bodice
                           rippers and start getting some real experience.
           \_ "The exercisers showed a drop in their ... ejaculate volume, ..."
              Okay.  Don't date macho man if you enjoy facial/shower.

9/13    The lonelygirl15 phenomenon in N Cal where a bunch of 30-50 year old
        single men analyzing her videos is a proof that men in Silicon
        Valley are mostly pathetic perverted virgins.
        \_ "the odds are good, but the goods are odd"

9/7     Any decent young black men out there that love thick women?
        \_ Right here, baby.  -Fat Albert
        \_ You should look outside that ethnic group for men to
           improve your odds.  Due to racism, unequal application
           of the law, and economic factors, a huge percentage of
           young male blacks are in prison, leaving the rest in
           insanely high demand.  Your odds are poor especially
           if you're not really attractive.
           \_ If you repeatedly get caught selling drugs, stealing stuff,
              mugging, or shooting people, you go to jail regardless of skin
              color. There is nothing racist about that. You also forgot to
              mention a culture that resists assimilation into the mainstream
              and looks down upon those who do try to succeed.
              \_ I think "get caught" is the operative phrase here. Blacks
                 and whites have similar rates of drug use, but blacks are
                 three times as likely to be incarcerated for it.
                 \_ Don't confuse the issue with your blasted facts!

8/31    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060831/ts_nm/crime_art_scream_dc_3
        Even thought I've seen this picture many times before, it still sends
        chill up my spine every time I look at it.
        \_ That article is pretty devoid of details.  This article is a
           bit better:
           http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/5303200.stm?ls
           \_ british news sources >> US/wire news sources

6/29    How Silicon Valley men fight:
        http://cbs5.com/watercooler/local_story_059005903.html
        \_ Are you interested in joining? I know one of the guys in that
           video.
        \_ Holy stupid. "Hey look I cut my arm I'm cool!" Martial arts classes
           already have sparring. So this is just play fighting on concrete for
           no particular reason and vague rules. They seem to think this has
           something to do with a real world fight without rules. I'd like to
           see them fight this guy:
           http://thatvideosite.com/view/2414.html
           Or someone who doesn't abide by these rules:
           http://www.ufc.com/index.cfm?fa=LearnUFC.Rules
           \_ Of course it has something to do with it.  Slightly more
              than sparring.  I don't think anyone there thinks this is
              real fight where you get hurt.  That's the whole point.
              \_ Well one of them says something like "we want to see how
                 martial arts work against someone who is fighting back".
                 Obviously if they are not wearing pads and avoiding hurting
                 each other then well, it's probably less than sparring
                 other than that they getting more injuries.
                 other than that they get more injuries.
                 \_ Umm.. most of the sparring I've seen and done you're
                    wearing pads, not hurting each other, stuff ends in
                    points, and you're restricted to one martial art.
                    That sparring is less like a real fight that what they
                    are doing.  What sparring do you do?  You use real
                    knives or something?
                    \_ Protective gear at lets you do more without being
                       as concerned about hurting them. At least they use
                       that headgear but still. Is that enough to protect
                       head vs. concrete?
                       Sparring isn't really better but this doesn't
                       seem to add anything other than pointlessly
                       getting hurt. (why not have a padded floor?)
                       Their knife fight looks like it has little to do with
                       knives beyond their first stabs at each other.
                       Maybe ending in a point is better than just play
                       hitting each other with no result.
                       \_  This is why grappling is so much better than
                           striking arts.  You can go full contact with no pads
                           using judo or jiujitsu tournament rules and no one
                           gets hurt, but in a no-holds-barred fight against
                           karate and boxing fighters you do better because
                           you're used to the real thing.  Don't belive me?
                           Watch the early UFC fights when boxers and karate
                           people would get their asses handed to them in
                           seconds by grapplers many pounds lighter than them.
                           And the last judo tournament I went to had something
                           like 100 people in it, including little kids, with
                           zero injuries.  Grappling: more fun, more effective,
                           more interesting, safer.
        \_ can I do curbing on a nerd?

6/26    http://cbs4.com/local/local_story_177194808.html
        Rush Limbaugh detained on possession of illegal prescription drugs.
        \_ republicans rool while liberals drool1!!!111!!1one
        \_ That's one way of putting it.  Sorry but this one isn't going
           anywhere.
        \_ Should this be "detained on illegal possession of prescription
           drugs"?
           \- Rush Limbaugh is an illegal radio host.
              http://www-csli.stanford.edu/~nunberg/aliens.html
              \_ Which aliens?  The Greys?  What do They have to do with a
                 radio talk show host?
              \_ The mistake the author makes here is that he tries to
                 disconnect the adjective from the noun.  An illegal
                 immigrant is someone who immigrates illegally, not an
                 immigrant who commits an unrelated crime.  An illegal
                 radio host would be someone who is on the radio
                 illegally, not a radio host who takes illegal substances.

6/15    Hi guys, my dad was recently billed $180 for outpatient services and
        $200 for the actual process of removing wax from one ear.  After the
        Medicare deductible, he has to pay $160 (the govt is paying $380).
        Is this normal?  Thanks.
        (FYI, I had the same process done for myself under my company health
        plan, and didn't pay crap.)
        \_ Sounds about right.  Think about how many man hours went into
           getting his ear dewaxed.  Reception/doctor/maybe a nurse.  Cleaning
           up after he left, supplies, billing, paperwork whathaveyou.  Stuff
           costs money.  160 dollars isn't that much these days.
        \_ what does ear dewaxing do for you?
           \_ basically when your ear's clogged up with wax it's really
              clogged up.  fyi, i've since learned you can buy a $5 kit on
              the shelf at the drug store and save yourself the dr.'s visit.-op
              \_ Does the type of earwax (dry or wet) matter?
                 \_ I don't know.  Presumably if the $5 kit doesn't work, it's
                    time to visit the doctor.
                    \_ The doctor will shoot warm water in your ear and catch
                       it in a bucket.  Even if they threw the bucket away
                       afterwards, the procedure shouldn't cost $380.  But
                       yes, that's "normal" in the U.S.  -tom
                       \_ Thanks, tom.  A word of warning to do-it-your-selfers
                          though:  If you stick the syringe in your ear and
                          squeeze, MAKE SURE to leave an opening for the water
                          to pour out of. -op
                       \_ The doctor is the expensive part, not the bucket.
                          If you go see a doctor (and in this case, it sounds
                          like he went to a hospital) for basic personal
                          grooming, why would you expect it to be inexpensive?
                          He's paying for the doctor's time and the hospital's
                          facilities.  Would you also expect it to be cheap
                          to visit the emergency room and have a surgeon trim
                          your toenails?
                          \_ OK, how much do you think five minutes of time
                             with a doctor should cost?  You think $300 is
                             reasonable?  -tom
                             \_ Most professionals set minimum billable amounts
                                of their time (often one hour or one day).  Are
                                you saying that doctors should bill by the
                                minute?  If that was a minimum billable amount
                                of one hour at $150, plus that much again for
                                the hospital, then I'd say it sounds about
                                right.  Frankly, I wouldn't want it to be cheap
                                to get my ears cleaned by a doctor at a
                                hospital.  I'd prefer that this be expensive to
                                make it less likely that hospitals are clogged
                                with stupid things like this when someone goes
                                in with a real problem.
                                \_ Fortunately, it's expensive to do
                                   anything at all at a hospital or doctor's
                                   office; up to five times as expensive in
                                   the U.S. as in other comparable nations.
                                   And the crowding problem is mitigated by
                                   the fact that millions of Americans don't
                                   have health insurance.
                                   If you think the U.S. health care system
                                   is good at anything other than providing
                                   Viagra, you're either nuts or trolling. -tom
        \_ I think the $7 kits are just 90% isopropyl alcohol or something like
           that so you if you have a syringe don't need to spend $7
           when $0.99 will do.
           \_ Debrox, the most popular OTC treatment, is 6.5% carbamide
              peroxide with citric acid, glycerin, propylene glycol, and
              other lubricants.  This is why you don't necessarily read the
              motd for medical advice and squirt the i-PrOH in your ear.

6/6     Douglas Adams would be proud:
        http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060607/ap_on_sc/britain_genghis_khan_s_kin
        \_ "How this chromosome came to be so prominent was that when he
            conquered new territory Genghis Khan would kill the men and
            routinely inseminate all the women."
           Whoa that's what I fantasize all the time. Is this something that
           normal men fantasize about as well?
           \_ It's perfectly normal. Us horny white male have been especially
              good at it. We're children of the Roman empire that fought wars,
              enslaved losers and inseminated exotic women. Look at the
              long history of rape and pillage from the Viking era,
              the black-Caucasian mix in the age of slavery, mixed
              Vietnam & Korean War babies in the 20th century, so on
              and so forth. We are all children of Rome and it is our
              God given right and duty to kill men and inseminate
              exotic women.
           \_ I think that's a pretty common (and evolutionarily justifiable)
              fantasy.
                \- evolution "explains", it doesnt "justify".
                     "Malt does more than Milton can
                      To justify God's ways to man"
                   \_ You are correct; I meant "explainable".  However, do you
                      think fantasies need "justification"?
              \_ Ok good. I was wondering whether I should tell this to
                 my psychiatrist or not, but I guess it's not a big deal.
        \_ "...a direct descendent of Genghis Khan."  How can you be an
           indirect descendent of someone (genetically)?
           \_ You have many of the same genes, because for instance you are a
              direct descendent of Genghis Khan's brother.
              \_ A descendent of someone's brother isn't that person's
                 descendent, directly or otherwise.
                 \_ Not literally, but the term is not used literally. The
                    point here is that they descend from a common ancestor. If
                    you were looking at Y chromosomes Genghis Khan would be
                    indistinguishable from his brother. Both would be
                    indistinguishable from their father.
           \_ The claim is actually "direct patrilineal descendants."
              Which means men only.

5/30    http://www.swedish.org/16720.cfm
        Bikers beware. You may never get your penis up if you don't
        get the right seat.
        \_ ...said the guys trying to sell you new products

5/29    So I just sat thru 2 hours of Napoleon Dynamite and I was like,
        what the f*??? What's so special about this movie? Sheesh.
        \_ I got through about 35 minutes.  I'm not sure how you made it
           the whole way.  Stoned?  Drunk?  Tied to the couch with metal
           appliance used to force your eyes open?
        \_ Finally!  My gf and I went and saw it in the theatre and were
           quite let down also.  -scottyg
        \_ I saw it in the theatre. Initially, I thought it sucked too.
           Now I'm more mediocre on it -- hardly worth a buy or even a
           rent, but maybe worth watching on cable if it's your only
           option. It can be amusing at points, some points more than
           the first time I saw it, but mostly, not.
           --michener
        \_ you motd people are probably too smart for ND. Me and my
           low IQ friends loved it. My brother was literally falling
           out of his seat laughing, tears coming from the pain of
           holding his side. Uncle Rico is one of the greatest movie
           characters ever.
           \_ I didn't "get" ND when I first saw it. With repeated
              viewings I like it more and more. I agree that Uncle Rico
              is great!
              \_ I felt this way about Robin Hood: Men in Tights
                 For some reason the more times I saw it, the funnier it got.
                 --dbushong
        \_ http://www3.state.id.us/oasis/2005/HCR029.html
           "Girls only like guys who have great skills." --great googler
           \_ At first I didn't get it, but after reading it more
              thoroughly, I'm going to vote this as the funniest shit
              I've ever seen on motd. Thanks great Googler!
        \_ my gf and I loved it, saw it several months ago via netflix

5/5     Painful-to-watch X-men 3 clip
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmKXwWkqJ4g&search=xmen%203
        \_ wtfug?

4/3     http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html
        Man severs own penis, throws it at officers (March 17 2006)
        \- giving the pig a bone.
        \_ I love the url they gave this story.  Is this the 17th time a man
           has cut off his penis?  :-)

3/31    http://www.sfweekly.com/Issues/2006-02-08/news/feature_full.html
        I know this is a bit late but I'm wondering if you guys can
        help us find Jerry Tang. Thanks.
        \_ We care why?
        \_ Sorry.  All my time is spent looking for poontang.

3/23    "Game Of Shadows"... I didn't learn much more than what I read
        in the ESPN and SF Chronicle articles, except for
        details of Vince Conte's life (He was in Tower Of Power?)
        and the grand jury questioning Barry Bonds' 'bay area girlfriend'
        about the size of his testicles (they heard heavy steroid
        use could shrink them).  She testified they were normal
        sized.  I thought Barry Bonds was a giant ass before all
        the steroid testimony came out, and the book did not change
        my opinion.

3/18    Level 60 in World of Warcraft:
        http://tinyurl.com/qzl9e  -John
        \_ Wow, that's somewhere between hilarious and creepy...not sure which
           yet.        -mice
           \_ Ah, dorm life. There's reason why people want to move out after
              a little while.
              \_ Dude, I was gonna say the same thing. This is the exact kind
                 of thing that drives people out of dense populated areas to
                 live in the suburbs. I guess when you're young and stupid
                 (<18) you wanted to make friends so you live in the dorms
                 or something but then as you get older you realize that
                 it's a pain to live so close to so many idiots.

2/23    How come mainland Chinese people say number 1 as "Yao1" instead of
        the standard "Yi1"? Also why do they say "we" as "zhai2 men"
        instead of the standard "wo3 men"? Are there subtle semantic
        differences?
        \_ First of all, this is not a "mainland China" thing.  The orgin
           of this prounciation came from military, as they discover
           the prounciation of one and seven (yi1 and qi1) sounds too similar
           over the radio.  Note that this is not some sort of cryptic code,
           as military in Taiwan uses the same prounciation as well :p
           It merely a military way of prounciating number in a more distincted
           manner:  1 become yao1, 7 become guai3, 0 become dong4, etc.
           Americans do something similar with prounciation of alphabets over
           the radio too.
           There is a subtle differences between "zai men" and "wo men."
           "zai men" is a more narrowly defined and strictly used when
           yourself as a person is included.  So, a wrong way to use "zai men"
           is in the context of, let say "we the nation of Chinese..."
           Having said that, "zai men" is more of an oral lingo (mostly
           in Northern part of China) and should not be used in formal writing.
                                                - kngharv
          \_ Do you know what does "lao4 ke'er1" mean?  I heard it
             said b4 but don't know what it means.

2/23    How come mainland Chinese people say number 1 as "eo1" instead of
        the standard "ee1"? Also why do they say "we" as "zhai2 men"
        instead of the standard "wo3 men"? Are there subtle semantic
        differences?

        [bad merge script was here, but maybe that was a good thing!]
                       for a better quarterly compensation (not real,
                       seasonally compensated) picture.
                       \_ what are the beginning and ending quarters you are
                          talking about?
                          \_ Epi compares 2004q4 to 2005q4.
                             \_ you mean the most recent annual data, or is
                                that beginning of Q4 to beginning of Q4, and
                                perhaps government fiscal quarters?
                                \_ One year hardly a pattern forms.
                                   \_ do you think that that's the most recent
                                      annual data?
                                      \_ 1995 was slighly worse and 1996
                                         slightly better than 2005, according
                                         to the bls graph.  It would be pre-
                                         mature and silly in 1997 to scream
                                         doom and gloom also.
                                         \_ I think we need data pre-'89
                                            ... not kidding.  Something from
                                            1970 to now.

1/25    furious dude from below here again.  i looked at
        link:tinyurl.com/dqxwk a few times, then i found
        a dark hallway in the building to masturbate in
        after grabbing a roll of paper towels from the kitchen.
        now i am even calmer.
        \_ Sheesh doesn't it start to get sore after shoot #4 or so? How
           old are you?
        \_ I call troll on Furious Masturbator.
           \_ I can use some lube, also I am able to get off by
              being horizontal, facing down, and focusing all my weight
              on my crotch by balling my fist and placing it
              at the groin level while lying down.
              \_ I can't do the last one, because my dick, although short, is
                 longer then the width of my fist.
              \_ I can't do this, because my dick, although short, is longer
                 then the width of my fist.
                 \_ I focus the weight on the area beginning at the base
                    of the penis, to an inch or two up, if you're not going
                    up the penis.  penis length is not a factor in this
                    equation.

1/18    Why Irish men are horniest:
        http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060118/od_nm/science_ireland_dc

1/17    What are the pros/cons of doing a workout that doesn't include
        weights but rather pushups, situps, pullups, dips, etc. versus
        a weight-lifting workout regimen? I know I can't build as much
        muscle mass as I could with weights, but are there any benefits?
        Thanks.
        \_ What is your goal?
                \_ My goal is to maintain muscle mass and possibly
                   gain some. I've been lifting weights for years,
                   and I'm just getting bored with it. I've changed
                   up my regimen a few times, but I'm just tired of lifting.
                   I had some decent progress, but I think I'm just
                   in the mood to change my workout drastically.
                   Thanks for all the responses so far. -op
                   \_ Check out http://www.crossfit.com  Their approach uses
                      high-intensity training with functional movements
                      like squatting and pullups, and it's very
                      effective for building muscle mass and cutting fat.
        \_ Depends on what you want, really. Sounds like you're describing
           weight-training but using your own body weight instead of
           dumbbells. Any weight exercises (whether your own or others) are
           beneficial to your muscle - your muscle reacts more to heavier
           weights of course (e.g. the tear from lifting 200 lbs vs. your
           body weight of 150 lbs would cause muscle to rebuild in stronger
           form). Physicians often recommend novices to start doing weights
           using their own body mass (situps, pushups, dips, etc) before
           attempting real weights.
        \_ less control ; more difficult to vary stress levels and/or precisely
           target different muscles. However it is definitely cheaper and more
           convenient from an equipment standpoint.  You should be somewhat
           suspect of a regimen tthat someone is trying to 'sell' you if
           they're going to get some benefit (i.e. a sale) out of you.
        \_ there is a surprising variation of exercises you can do with just
           your own body mass. pushups for example: wide stance, narrow,
           using an exercise ball (either on your feet or on your hands).
           granted, doesn't have the potential of weights, but there's a lot
           to be done.
        \_ You want to increase muscle mass or cardio for your heart?
           \_ ... or burn fat?
           \_ ... or build endurance?
        \_ I have no advice, but I found these fascinating:
           http://www.geocities.com/rutgerseskrima/art_prison.html
           http://exn.ca/Stories/2003/06/20/54.asp

11/28   America land of gigantic asses, and here's the proof:
        http://tinyurl.com/9sybk
        CHICAGO (Reuters) - Fatter rear ends are causing many drug injections
        to miss their mark, requiring longer needles to reach buttock muscle,
        researchers said on Monday.
        \_ Although your point is probably still valid, the study mentioned in
           the article was done in Ireland, not America.
                \_ yeah, I imagined the average American ass of an American
                   exceeds the average Irish ass.
                \_ yeah, I assumed the average American ass exceeds the
                    average Irish ass.

11/14   Terrorists arrested in Austrailia were planning attack on a
        nuclear reactor:
        http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20051114/ts_nm/security_australia_plot_dc
        And some of their supporters beat up a camera crew outside the
c       courthouse:
        http://csua.org/u/e0c
        \_ I suggest we torture them immediately.  Better to break their wills
           than collect useful intelligence.
           \_ I suggest we torture the OP for the abuse of an apostrophe. [OP
              has fixed "we're" now, so my torture recommendation is rescinded]
              \_ i think the remaining misspelling deserves some non-inhumane
                 treatment

11/2    You've heard of the Twinkie Defense?  It's got nothing on the Large
        Penis Defense:
        http://torontosun.com/News/OtherNews/2005/10/29/1283746-sun.html
        \_ Johnny Cochran already used "if it doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
           \_ RIP JC.
           \_ "If the dick's too big, this ain't the pig!"
        \_ I can think of a few websites that blow that defense, no pun
           intended.

10/14   I'm not crazy about my electric razor, it tends to pull my hairs too
        much when I've got a couple daya growth.  Anyone have reccomendations?
        My only constraint is thta it must not be a slime-oozing model.
        \_ Badger-hair brush, exfoliant/shaving oil/shaving cream/aftershave
           from Art of Shaving, Gilette Mach 3 blade, shave under the shower.
           Cons:  $$$  Pro:  No more hamburger face.  -John
           \_ I haven't tried the other stuff, but I agree that the Mach 3
              is completely awesome. Well worth the money.
           \_ Can you describe the proper purpose and usage of those oils and
              aftershave and whatnot?
              \_ I've just found that this stuff, while pricey, works really
                 well for me, and I'm willing to pay for it to avoid the
                 agony and mess I usually get from shaving (pain hurts!).
                 Exfoliant:  gets rid of dead crap and cleans skin.  Oil:
                 Softens skin & beard before shaving.  Brush: lifts whiskers
                 so they're cut nicely.  Non-alcohol-based aftershave:  calms
                 skin down.  Hot water/steam: also softens skin.  Don't forget
                 to shave with the grain of your beard (usually towards your
                 chin), at least for the rough stuff, as otherwise you push
                 whiskers in.  This is stuff your dad should have taught you.
                 Another tip:  men's mags (GQ, Esquire, etc.) may be silly, but
                 occasionally there's some good advice regarding this sort of
                 thing.  -John
            \_ I've used a Mach3 w/ a badger brush before nad it works great
               but I'm lazy.  I should have specified Im asking about
               electrics. -OP

10/7    Fake Dog Testicle Creator wins Ig Nobel
        http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051007/ap_on_fe_st/ig_nobels
        Apparently they are called "Neuticles."
        \_ What is a "testical"?
           \_ It's like a cubical.
        \_ This one makes me chuckle:
           PEACE: Two researchers at Newcastle University in England
           monitored the brain activity of locusts as they watched clips from
           the movie "Star Wars."
           I imagine all these little locust brains hooked up with wires
           and a big screen playing "Star Wars" in the background. Hilarious!
           I wonder if they are hooked up "Clockwork Orange" style.
           \_ You should have seen the activity go off the chart when
              cell phones started ringing and the popcorn ran out.
        \_ What is a "testical"?
           \_ It's like a cubical.

9/23    "135 women receive bachelor's degrees for every 100 men. "
        This can't be true. It certainly wasn't true when I went to
        Cal. Either that or Cal women look like men.
        http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/20050923/cm_usatoday/biglackofmenoncampus
        \_ Note: receive bachelor degree != attend
        \_ Note: Cal is not representative of US population as a whole
           I bet UCSB or USC are better examples
           I bet UCSB or USC are better examples.  The gender ratio at Cal
           is more a reflection of how men tend to excel higher than women.
        \_ Note: You're posting on the CSUA motd. Odds are the last woman to
           touch you was yermom. CS is not gender friendly. Try English,
           Biology or Business.

9/15    Come on all of you big strong men
        \- Post the text somewhere and give us al link.
           \_ Lame.
           \_ http://www.countryjoe.com/rag.htm
              This is the song everyone at UC Berkeley in the 60s knew by
              heart and is the song that changed the world.

9/2     "Chaos and gunfire hampered efforts to evacuate the Superdome,
        and, Superintendent P. Edward Compass III of the New Orleans
        Police Department said, armed thugs have taken control of the
        secondary makeshift shelter at the convention center.
        Superintendent Compass said that the thugs repelled eight squads
        of 11 officers each he had sent to secure the place and that
        rapes and assaults were occurring unimpeded in the neighboring
        streets as criminals "preyed upon" passers-by, including
        stranded tourists."
                 \_ i.e. white people
        link:tinyurl.com/92fwx
        Huh .. what's going on?
        \_ If there was ever proof that men descended from apes...
        \_ Dumb question: Why don't the cops/natl guard/etc. just shoot
           anyone who's not a cop/natl guard/etc. and armed on sight?
           Ordinarily I wouldn't advocate that, but since every extra day
           that people can't get rescued means more people dying, getting
           killed & raped it seems like the quickest solution.
           \- because they quickly duck underwater and escape to their secret
              underwater base.
              undersea base.
           \_ So you're advocating the murder of citizens who are legitimately
              brandishing firearms in an attempt to protect themselves from
              the armed thugs?  Troll harder.
              \_ Now, were you a gun control advocate before this?
           \_ Certainly not the only reason, but one reason is this: people
              shoot back.  How many dead cops would you like to add to the
              body count and how is a war on the citizens of NO going to help?
              There are so many other reasons why this is bad I'm at a loss
              to begin ennumerating them.  You're just trolling, right?
                \_ Okay, let's just let everyone die then.
                  \_ Your response is non-responsive.  Now I know you're
                      trolling.  Thanks for joining us today.
           \_ Same reason why you avoid shooting into any possible area,
              civilians. Take the gun safety class. If you are not sure of
              your target, don't shoot. Too many video games for you...
              \_ Uh, you see a mob of armed thugs ... You shoot them
                 \_ Is he a thug or a man protecing his family? Did he not
                    hear you? Does he not recognize your authority? Is there
                    a child standing behind the wall behind the thug? Where
                    will your stray shots go? Is my objective to kill or
                    disarm? If disarm, why am I shooting from a distance?
                    \_ The media are talking about roving bands of armed men.
                       Somehow cops all over the country, not to mention all
                       over the world are capable of making this distinction
                       on a daily basis yet in NO right now, where it should
                       be REALLY obvious this suddenly becomes 10X harder?
                       \_ Nothing says photo op better than cops/troops in
                          helicopters shooting into the city. And being a cop
                          is different from being a soldier. Unless there are
                          lives in immediate danger, cops make sure the shots
                          they take are 'safe' shots.

8/28    Any serious weightlifters here? does anyone have any ideas on how
        to "jumpstart" my muscles? I've been benching the same weight for
        several years without much increase in max or chest size, and
        I'm wondering what, if anything, I can do? the only thing I've
        tried is not lifting for a few weeks, and that did not help
        at all. thanks.
        \_ supplements like creatine
        \_ ask ax (or as blacks say, ax ax)
        \_ I've increased my weightlifting capacity on bench from
           say, 130 to 195 via 6-9 months or so of consistent work.
           I haven't gotten 'huge', but I've had some increase, and I've
           been eating 'healthy', with a little bit of emphasis on
           protein, but not huge.  For bench, I do 3-4 sets, with set
           1 being warmup at 115, and thereafter doing weights that
           I can lift 6-8 times, inclusive.  I lift 3 hours per week or
           so.  I do 6-8 hours of cardio exercise per week.  I am not on
           any steroids or supplements.  I do not exercise the same muscles
           2 days in a row if I can help it, except cardio/abdominals.  It
           is possible you need to do more than bench.  I do pull-ups, dips,
           incline bench, seated rows, and sometimes biceps.
           But if you haven't been doing anything wrong, you may have just
           hit your maximum without chemical enhancement.  What is your age?
                \_ Because of my schedule, I can only go to the gym 4x/week,
                   max. I do 3 days of lifting and 1 day of cardio. I do
                   one day of chest/triceps, one of back/biceps, and one of
                   shoulders/legs, and I do 2 exercises for each set of
                   muscles. I definitely do not want to try any nutrition
                   supplements (shakes, creatine, etc), but I could try
                   modifying my regular diet. And I'm 26. Thanks. -op
                   \_ consider changing your workout around a bit, it may
                      stimulate other muscles that you have not been using
                      that may be impeding improvement.  buy books that
                      have new exercise regimens you haven't tried.
                      but really, if you're serious, get a personal trainer.
        \_ Roids!
        \_ I'm a bad guy to ask- I benched 335 at age 23 at a body weight
        of 190 lbs.  I'm now 35 years old, weigh 189, and bench maybe 250.
        I have high cholesterol, so I can't eat the red meat I need to regain
        my power.  With that in mind, my best gains in bench strength came when I
        became obsessed with benching 275 for 10.  (I had been doing it for 5
        reps for years.)  I lifted as heavy as I could
        on every workout, I ate 3/4 lb hamburgers after every workout, I
        ignored my aching joints and back.  I was able to maintain that kind
        of intensity for a few months.  I got 275 for 9.  The point is that
        if you are stuck, you will have to put in a superhuman effort in
        terms of lifting heavy weights and eating high protein if you want
        to get past it.  In terms of chest size, as is most size, it's pretty
        linear with how much you weigh assuming you are working out and not
        fat.  I've found that for size increases, you don't have to do as much
        heavy lifting, but regular training is more effective- lots of pushups,
        dips, etc.  Good Luck!  Plateaus are a pain, but if you can make the
        sacrifices, you can get past them.  Eventually the cost to get past them
        will be more than you are willing to pay.  That's where I'm at.
        Cardio doesn't really help you gain size or strength, it just saps
        your bench in my experience.  My lowest bench presses are usually
        when I'm in my best cardio shape.  -ax
        \_ I have weak ankles and jogging/running is contraindicated. If I get
           my cardio through swimming (breast-stroke), will this work out the
           same muscles I'm working when I bench? --erikred
                \_ People who swim a LOT usually have great pecs, and they
                   bench more than average, but if you want a big bench
                   press, I haven't found a way better than bench pressing
                   as much weight as you can handle.  -ax
                   \_ Sorry, I mean, will swimming count as using the same
                      muscles (i.e., overworking them) as benching? --erikred
        \_ 1. Why the same weight? You should be increasing. Do fewer reps
           with more weight. 2. Work different muscles. Use free weights
           or machines. Just doing a bench all the time won't cut it. Your
           muscles are getting used to it. This is from my dad, who is
           60, weighs 160, and benches 350+. He is a personal trainer. Also,
           what ax says is true. Eat more protein/ change your diet. --dim
        \_ Your Dad is a genetic wonder, you should thank him on a daily
           basis.  I'm sure there is endless hard training involved, but
           those are truly amazing stats.  Wow.  I've only met one guy
           like that in my whole life.  And it's true, if you just
           bench all the time, eventually you will hit an impasse.  -ax
        \_ You Dad is a genetic wonder, you should thank him on a daily
           basis.  Those are truly amazing stats.  Wow.  -ax
           \_ He works out 6 days per week for hours each time. Sometimes
              it is weights and others it is cardio. He is not trying to
              bulk up. At his age it may not be possible. He was huge (like
              a bodybuilder) when was young. He weighed over 200 then,
              which is a lot since he's 5'9". No one could adhere to the
              diet he keeps and not go crazy. Personally, I find weight
              training boring and don't do it - genetics or not. The other
              funny part is that many of his clients want to look like
              he does and/or be that strong for their age. Most of them
              don't last long. It's not the best business for him, but he
              doesn't want to screw with someone who is not serious. He
              says women make better clients because they want to look
              good more than lift a lot. Young guys can lift a lot, but
              look like hell (too bulky in some places and skinny legs for
              example).  When they lift a lot they think they are fit,
              which is not really true.
              \_ I'm a bit mystified by people who are neither lifting weights
                 for looks nor for cross training for some other sport. Is it
                 about bragging rights?
                 \_ Probably. There's an emphasis on how much you can lift
                    (usually on the bench press). "Yeah, I do 550." Dad
                    says a lot of those guys can't do squats and are
                    cardiovascularly unfit. Good looks come through
                    proportion and not working out just the chest and
                    biceps.

8/28    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,167124,00.html
        Bike and ED. A special article for tom holub.
        \_ I can understand why yer mom might care about my erections,
           but why do you, kchang?  -tom
           \_ huh? uh... because... you're cute? i don't know.
        \_ What does Eminent Domain have to do w/ bikes?

8/26    hey ilyas i have a link for you
        http://fray.com/drugs/worm/post - danh
        \_ Gee, I almost feel honored. -- ilyas

8/5     Should I stay away from the Bushes of Hazzard and Stealth?  I hear
        many bad reviews.
        \_ If you have to ask, then maybe not. But especially Stealth.
           Dukes' badness might have comic value. Stealth will just be
           pain.
           Dukes' badness might have comic value. Stealth will just be pain.
           Bush's badness might have comic value. Stealth will just be pain.
        \_ Roger Ebert's review of the Dukes is pretty funny at least
           http://csua.org/u/cxz

7/20    That first night of treatments caused us to rapidly break down many
        barriers and taboos. Up until 30 minutes ago Esther was merely a
        friendly co-worker that ate lunch with me. I didn't know much about
        her, nor did she have many details of my personal life.
        But within 60 minutes, that "casual friend" had fondled my cock
        and balls, discussed my penis size, talked about my semen production,
        watched a machine give me an erection, saw me rub lotion on it,
        ordered me to get a hard-on and measure it, then had me jerk off
        into a cup and give it to her. The entire situation was a bit surreal.
        It was almost like one of those outlandish stories you see
        posted on the Internet!
        \_ Yes! Penthouse forum guy is back! --penthouse forum guy #1 fan
        \- ^co-worker^associate
        \_ What treatments are you talking about?  Did I miss something?
        \_ I could see this happening if Esther were a fertility doctor
           and the protagonist was a co-worker in her clinic.

7/14    Since the penis is erected by the pressure of one's blood, do people
        with high blood pressure have harder penes when erect?  Do drugs
        treating high blood pressure make the erece penis less hard?
        \_ no
        \_ Why don't you ask yermom?
        \_ No, especially since lots of people with high BP have poor
           circulation in their extremities, including their member,
           making it harder to have an erection.
           \_ Thanks.  So high blook pressure is not "high throughout all
              blood vessels".  I thought since blood is just a liquid, the
              pressure had to be the same everywhere within the same liquid
              body.
              body since the body is not that big and bloodflow is not very
              fast.
              \_ Remember that the body is, at best, trying to create a
                 state of equlibrium (in this case, getting oxygenated blood
                 to the various cells); high blood pressure results when
                 there's something preventing the blood from effectively
                 reaching the cells (arterial clogging, a large wound, etc.).
                 In other words, the fact that you have high BP means that
                 you are almost certainly NOT getting enough blood in your
                 extremities (including your penis). As my EMT instructor
                 put it, it's all about pump (heart), pipes (arteries), and
                 fluid (blood).

6/23    Soy products, yet another form of birth control:
        http://www.cnn.com/2005/HEALTH/06/22/fertility.soya.reut

6/3     I went to get a haircut and they recommended some new shampoo
        because I may be losing some hair (which may have some truth
        to it...). I've been using generic shampoo. Are there any
        truth to what they are saying? Would the more expensive
        shampoo be better for my hair? -clueless guy
        \_ There could be. What was the name of the recommended shampoo?
           \_ I forgot, but it sold for about $30+ for one large bottle...
                \_ Well if it was called Nioxin (a fairly expensive shampoo
                   they often have in barber shops), yes it might be able to
                   help. It helps to prevent hair from falling out; it does
                   nothing to help regrow hair.
                   help. It helps to prevent more hair from falling out; it does
                   nothing to regrow hair.
                   \_ DANGER!!! nioxin is an anagram for "I Nixon".  It's
                      probably GOP brainwash putty in a bottle.
                   \_ Not true. Nioxin doesn't have Rogaine or anything
                      like that in it. It does, however, help make
                      thinning hair look more full. Lots of men say that
                      Nizoral (prescription strength) works. Of course,
                      you can also do pills.
                        \_ No, I was right. So what if it doesn't have
                           rogaine in it; tylenol doesn't have morphine
                           in it, but it still helps with pain. Rogaine
                           helps regrow hair. Nioxin tries to prevent
                           more hair from falling out. -pp
                           \_ No, there is no drug in Nioxin no matter
                              what it claims. It is not proven to do
                              anything.
                                \_ There's nothing in it? so it's just
                                   a bottle of nothing? interesting.
                                \_ OK so only drugs are effective?
                                   \_ There is no chemical in Nioxin which
                                      purports to do what they say it
                                      does, whether it's lemon balm or
                                      whatever. What is the active
                                      ingredient in Nioxin that prevents
                                      hair loss?
                                        \_ Yes you have a point (as Nioxin
                                           webpage's FAQ admits), but that
                                           doesn't mean it can't achieve
                                           an effect.
                                           \_ In that case, smear dogshit
                                              on your head. It might work.
                                                \_ Did you think of that
                                                   yourself? Damn you're
                                                   clever.
                      \_ Interesting, I was using Nizoral for the dandruff
                         (it's much better than Head & Shoulders, Selsun
                         Blue, etc.), but I didn't know it had a hair-retention
                         side effect.

5/23    Medicaid covered sex offenders' Viagra
        http://csua.org/u/c5p (Yahoo! News)
        \_ That's awful.  But how do I get my medical plan to cover viagra?
           \_ Well, first you have to turn 65....

5/12    Hong Kong men measure up
        link:csua.org/u/c22
        \_ Hmm, measured in the flaccid state.  Not particularly valid.
           \_ Feeling threatened?
        \_ Mine in flaccid state is longer in hot weather than in cold weather.
           \_ Yeah... how can something like this be scientifically rigorous?
              Like how/where exactly is the measurement done. You're also
              dealing with soft tissues that can still vary in length depending
              on conditions.
                \_ I was in the pool!!!!! I was in the pool!!!!!!
        \_ Men who think theirs are small are less likely to volunteer for the
           study.  So the average measurement from the study is probably higher
           than the real average.  But then this applies to studies in other
           countries too, so the ranking is probably still valid.  But like
           what is said above, who cares about flaccid state anyway?
           \_ your penis has been classified as: small
              \_ Yawn.

5/10    If you wanna be a hip drug dealer these days, you're gonna need an
        alligator.
        http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_fullstory.asp?id=34529

4/18    Surgery, with no anesthesia
        Fell the knife pierce you intensely
        Inferior, no use to mankind
        Strapped down screaming out to die
        ANGEL OF DEATH
        Monarch to the kingdom of the dead
        Infamous butcher,
        ANGEL OF DEAAAATH!!!!1!1!
        \_ Deflowering, with viagra
           Feel the prick pierce you intensely
           Superior, ecstatic for MANkind
           Strapped down screaming out to comply
           ......
        \_ Grimly I dig up the turfs
To remove the corrupted stiffs
Trying to contain my excitement
As I desecrate graveolent crypts...
Fingers claw at coffin lids
Eager festal exhumation
Hugging your wry, festered remains
With posthumous joy and elation...
Body snatched, freshly interred
Whatever takes my fancy
To satisfy my gratuitous pica
My culinary necromancy...
Scrutinised then brutalized
My forensic inquisition is fulfilled
My recipe is now your epitaph
Be it fried, boiled or grilled...

4/17    "The Viagra Challenge"
        http://www.exile.ru/2005-March-25/feature_story.html
        Our eXiled friend Mark Ames test drives the three leading
        erectile-dysfunction pills, Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra and reports
        the results. This must be the most hilarious article I have read
        this year. Some pictures might be NWS.
        \_ if you find this hilarious, I suggest you seek therapy.  -tom
           \_ Why do you say you find the viagra challenge hilarious?
              \_ Why does someone vote Republican?
                 \_ Is it because does someone vote republican that you
                    came to me?
           \_ funny?  dunno.  laughable?  sure.
           \_ This article is hilarious.  Tom needs to lighten up.
        \_ That was hilarious. Truly, this man has taken a bullet for
           science.
        \_ Laughed my ass off.  I approve. -dans

4/12    Would I be sexist if I said men played american football better
        than women?
        \_ If you mean that the best players right now are men, that's
           obviously true.  If you mean that men are inherently better,
           that's not obviously true, and it would be sexist if you said
           it without justification.
           \_ Sure it's obviously true. It's objective fact that the top male
              athletes in all sports are stronger, heavier, run faster etc.
              American football is not a finesse sport.
           \_ It would be sexist even if you said it with justification.
              Science giving way to politics.
              \_ you're a moron.  -tom
        \_ Watching woman play american football is more fun than watching men.
        \_ Yes you are sexist.  But if you rephrase it as "men played American
           football better than women because women are discriminated", you are
           not sexist.  See the logic?
           \_ you're a moron.  -tom
              \_ you're a moron, tom.
              \_ Is that better or worse than being an idiot?  -!pp
              \_ I'm not the moron.  People who caused this kind of logic are
                 the morons.  -- pp
                 \_ yes, you are the moron.  -tom
        \_ What if I said I prefer watching women in lingerie playing football?
           \_ Don't know.
           \_ personal preference versus statement of possibly unfounded fact.
        \_ And that is wrong because? PC is just another form of
           discrimination - just self-deluded.
           \_ Political correctness seems much more like a disease of the right
              than the left these days.

4/5     How many 5-year-olds could you knock out?  http://tinyurl.com/68e6n
        \_ Can they use a bat?
           \_ No foreign objects.
              \_ Pick up one kid with each hand, then swing them on the other
                 kids as fast as you can before you get dizzy.
              \_ Can I use my erect penis as a bat?  It's not foreign object.
                 \_ Michael, is that you?
              \_ Ma baat's made 'n da YOU-ESS-EAY.
        \_ What's "standard-issue cup"?
        \_ When they are about 15' away, I'd rush a group of them, try and
           take out a leader or two. I think it's harder than it originally
           seems, because they will be trained to cover their faces if your
           try and punch them in the face. and if you try and pick one up,
           they could probably try to leech onto you, so that others can take
           you out. Originally, I thought I could handle 20, but I'm lowering
           my estimate to 15.
        \_ 5 year olds? They can barely do anything. I guess it depends on
           how suicidal they are. They could easily die from a grown man's
           kicks and punches. So it comes down to sheer fatigue. And even
           if I just lay on the ground doing nothing I'm not sure what
           they would do to knock me out. Bite my privates I guess. The
           question doesn't make sense because real 5 year olds could not
           be motivated to behave that way.
                \_ You get a cup.  But a pack of crazed 5 year olds could more
                   damage than most people would think.  Think of being
                   attacked by a pack of rabid Chihuahas (sp?).
        \_ Did you see the picture for user "Schneids"? Best animated gif
           EVUR!

3/22    Is Terri's CAT scan that bad?  Why has she not had PET or MRI?
        My Grandmother's Brain -- OK -- But Would I Stop Feeding
        My Grandmother?
        http://codeblueblog.blogs.com/codeblueblog/2005/03/csi_medblogs_co.html
        \_ oh wow, replies by real doctors with fancy medical
           terminologies that I don't understand. I wish that I had
           done pre-med. Instead I'm just a stupid code monkey barely
           surviving in Silleycone Valley
           \_ It's never too late for medical school, if you want to go.
              We have all heard stories of the 40 year old guy in there
              with the 22 year olds.
              \_ In fact, medical schools *like* older students.  There is
                 a shortage of family/general practice doctors, and that's
                 what most older med students end up doing.  Older students
                 usually don't have the lifespan and stamina to go for the
                 longer and/or more intensive residencies.  Unfortunately,
                 family docs make the least money.
                 \_ How easy is it to work in medical research without
                    seeing patients? I never wanted to be a surgeon or see
                    people to diagnose/prescribe for them... but I get the
                    impression that's required.
                    \_ When I first read your post, I thought you said
                       "without seeing patents".
                    \_ If you are a researcher then you don't have to have
                       a practice. I know someone who does this and she
                       never sees any patients. I also know a doctor who
                       does a lot of research and selects his patients
                       based on it. This seems more interesting than being
                       a GP, but pays a lot less.
        \_ not a doctor, but I have looked at a lot of fmri and pet scans.
           There's a ton of degeneration in that brain.  I've seen some
           lesioned and post-stroke cats and mri's, too.  Nothing that bad.
           But, he is right.  There is some minimal cortex left.  He does
           leave out an important fact though.  Gradual atrophy in a fully
           functioning individual is different than severe sudden atrophy
           and recovery.  For example, a study was done of 80+ year old
           nuns, and it was found that all the nuns had similar degrees
           of massive cortex atrophy in the brain.  However, the nuns that
           had a stroke had a post-trauma sudden onset of Alzheimer's that
           the non-stroke nuns didn't have.  Likely something from the
           stroke triggered onset of Alzheimer's. Thus, comparing Terri's
           brain to fully functional 85 yr olds who have had gradual
           atrophy without functional loss is not entirely kosher.
        \_ The CT scan is old, and unless I see the original DICOM data I'd be
           hesitant to conclude anything.  My company works with that kind of
           data all the time and you can adjust contrast controls, etc. to make
           a CT look like just about anything.  Furthermore, your typical CT of
           the brain doesn't look like much.  Which is why a tool like Image
           Fusion (shameless plug: http://www.prowess.com/products-img.php
           allows you to compare the MRI (on the right) with the CT. -emarkp
        \_ I think it is all a distraction from the more pressing issues
           of war, recession and ignorance that plague this country. Bush's
           numbers are down to 45% and the Republicans are desperately
           and transparently trying to change the subject.

2/24    Sometimes, drudgereport really gets it right (read it to the end)
        http://cbs2chicago.com/cooler/local_story_055110537.html
        \_ I don't understand what drudge has to do with this.
        \_ I like this quote: "She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered'
           his sperm, it was a gift -- an absolute and irrevocable
           transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,"

2/18    How do you protect yourself from pickpockets, European pickpockets?
        \_ Put your money down the front of your pants.  Keep a fake
           wallet in your backpocket containing nothing but a piece of
           paper covered in insults in 12 different languages.
        \_ Carry around a Walther PPK like Bond, James Bond.
        \_ I wore a moneybelt when I was in Europe.
           \_ Yeah, until it got stolen while you were getting head in
              Amsterdam.
        \_ Put your wallet in your front pants pocket. For really
           important stuff I would wear a t-shirt w/ a pocket and
           put it in that w/ a regular shirt on top. Another option
           is to get shirts where the pockets have flaps and buttons.
           Most pick-pockets (even in asia) aren't bold enough to
           go for money kept there.
        \_ Get a neck pouch.  Plenty of travel luggage companies have them.
           Basically a pouch with a string that goes around your neck.
           Pouch then goes under your shirt.  Keep some small bills out
           in your front pocket to use for normal purposes. Keep big bills
           passport, cards, etc. in the neck pouch.
           \_ This also works in belt form if you feel like a douche
              wearing a necklace-- you can position the pouch to hover
              above your thigh, and it goes underneath your pants.  Note
              also that the zippered/button approach below does not
              work; I was stopped by police several times and told to put
              my wallet in my front pocket because the gypsies would just
              cut the bottom of your seat pocket and grab the wallet as it
              fell out.
              \_ I find moneybelts to be more uncomfortable and less safe.
        \_ pants with zippered or buttoned pockets.  More than anything,
           though, you just need to keep an eye out, keep your hands in
           your pockets in the metros and, if you need to pull out money,
           never expose how much you actually have.  I tend to keep small
           change handy, with my big bills tucked away where it won't be
           seen even if I do pull my wallet out.  Money belts are a pain
           in the ass, but more paranoia is better where pickpockets are
           concerned.  Also, if you're going to keep your bills in a pack,
           use a bag where a few seconds with a pocket knife won't get all
           your valuables.  Walk with attitude and look people in the eyes
           if they try to case you.
        \_ My dad would often wear a pair of lightweight shorts with pockets
           under slightly larger pants when traveling.  large quantities of
           cash/valuables went into the shorts, disposable amounts into the
           outer pants.  He said it also helped deal with his growing belly.
        \_ Don't act like a tourist.  Avoid bright colors, shorts, tennis
           shoes with white socks, fanny packs, being an obnoxious loud
           tourist in public, reading a guidebook all the time while walking
           around (try to read up before venturing out), don't take along a
           fat wallet--take only the cash/cards/ID you really need, keep your
           hand in your pocket on your wallet near signs saying BEWARE OF
           PICKPOCKETS (don't ever pat your pocket to make sure your cash is
           still there), keep some loose coins & small bills separate from
           your wallet.  -John
        \_ I like to buy a small sack or pouch with drawstrings, place my valuables in
           it and tie it on my penis and just let it hang down my pant leg.
        \_ I like to buy a small sack or pouch with drawstrings, place my
           valuables in it and tie it on my penis and just let it hang down
           my pant leg.
           \_ does it also get you chicks/guys?
        \_ Carry only a small amount of money in your wallet. Put the rest of
           your money into a plastic bag, apply some lubricant, and gently push
           it up your ass. Don't forget to pick it up and put it back before
           flushing water in the restrooms.

2/14    Dear motd, is it normal to have a hard time peeing right after you
        ejaculate? I've had this problem for as long as I can remember and
        I'm not sure if I should see a doctor for this.
        \_ No it's not.  You're suffering from a very rare condition called
           arteriospoorosis.  It occurs when a bunch of your lovin' spoonful
           accumulates inside your nob and hardens in place.  Trouble peeing
           only occurs as a very advanced symptom, and can last for years.
           Usually, terminal-stage gangrene and/or genitalia falling off
           occur rapidly.  Whatever you do, it's good that you asked for
           advice here, as we'll give you moral support and good medical
           information about your unfortunate conditions.  Poor bastard.
           \_ I can't believe I googled arteriospoorosis. Nicely done.
        \_ sounds like you have an STD...
           \_ You're assuming that the first time op can remember ejaculating
              was during an event that could cause an STD.  The probability of
              that is:zero.
        \_ ask a urologist.  could be enlarged prostate, could be slow
           relaxation of that sphincter that reroutes fluids during orgasm.
           -- not a urologist, but remembers biology vaguely
        \_ I think pretty much everyone has this, especially if you've
           been jerking off.
        \_ There's a little 'valve' in your urethra that makes it impossible
           to urinate while ejaculating.  Aside from the ick factor, this is
           a reproductive advantage because any spare urine would kill your
           sperm.  If you wait a couple minutes and still have difficulty, then
           it might be something to worry about.
           \_ how many minute is normal? It takes me about 2-3 minutes, how
              about you guys? Also is it normal to not be able to pee when
              you're erected? And is it normal to be erected for 1-2 minutes
              after you've ejaculated?
              \_ Dude, I really can't say.  I solved the problem by peeing
                 before I have sex.
              \_ It can a while for the sensitivity to wear off enough for you
                 relax enough to piss. Try changing pissing position (sitting,
                 standing, etc.).
        \_ Is it so hard to piss before you fuck?

2/10    OMFG.  http://csua.org/u/b0k  (work safe, but not psyche safe)
        \_ He's just doing his part for natural selection!
           \_ Only if he hasn't reproduced yet.
        \_ http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005062479,00.html
        \_ Eunuchs suffered this in the past.

1/26    http://tinyurl.com/69fng  Wheee!  -John

1/22    My gf and I were always fit, but as we get older we'd like to
        start working out. We already do stuff like Pilates. We want to
        learn to weight train, but not break the bank. Where do we start?
        We checked out some health clubs and they seem more geared towards
        parting us from our money. Do we hire a trainer? If so, how do we
        choose one?
        \_ Have you looked at the good ole fashioned YMCA? There are many
           cheaper but the Y staff aren't used car salesmen. Most Ys
           have pools, sauna, hot tub, steam room, towel service, many many
           classes, trainers (separate fee) and, should you end up that way,
           2 hours of free child care/visit. -- ulysses
        \_ How about getting your own weight machine type of thing and
           using it?
           \_ Sure. Which one works and how do we learn to use it?
        \_ Get a bench and a bunch of free weights.  The home machines are
           not worth what you have to pay for them.
        \_ Don't discount gyms out of hand--I'd ask around.  There are bound
           to be reputable ones, which will give you help with weight
           training (before trying a new exercise, you should ask someone who
           knows what they're doing, or you'll very possibly do it wrong and
           have no benefit or hurt yourself--lots of people are embarrassed to
           ask the trainers at gyms, which is what they are paid for.)  If
           you get a home setup, the above poster's spot-on.  -John
           \- re: "health clubs seem like a ripoff" ... what do you feel
              is a reasonable monthly or yearly fee for a "health club"?
              and i assume you mean a gym. if you want stuff like towel
              service, you should expect to pay. if you feel the gym fees
              are too much, i think you will find the trainer fees high.
              you do pilates? are you a woman? --psb
              you do pirates? are you a woman? --psb
              \_ It's interesting that you point out the "gym" vs. "health
                 club" thing. I've spent the last few months comparing
                 outfits in the east bay. There are now many many more
                 "health clubs" than gyms. For gyms you have Gold's, World,
                 God's (in Oakland) and Ironworks. Everybody else is a
                 health club, which range from hole in the wall personal
                 trainers to glorified yoga studios to full-on 24 Hour-esque
                 franchises like Club One.  The neighborhood gym appears to
                 be a thing of the past. -- ulysses
              \_ Are you asking me?  I have no clue, as my gym is in .ch.  I
                 get good weights & exercise machines, it's clean, the
                 trainers are professionals, and a sauna/hot tub/steam bath,
                 squash courts and nice selection of exercise classes for
                 about 70 bucks/month.  -John
              \_ It's not that the fees are too high. It's that the clubs
                 seem mostly interested in screwing you out of your money
                 in the way a used car dealer does. I didn't find anything
                 upfront about it and I wasn't exactly sure what I'd be
                 paying for. At least with a trainer I'd feel less likely
                 I'm being fucked around with - or are trainers also a
                 shady lot?
                 \_ Could you be more specific about their ripoff schemes?
                    I've never joined a gym, but I'm curious.
        \_ I would definitely lift for the first couple of months with a
           professional who knows what they're doing.  It's very easy to
           injure yourself on weights if you don't know what you're doing.
           I think after the first few months you could indeed lift without
           a trainer.  However, remember that weight lifting is not
           super-aerobic, and you should pair it with some cardio-based
           workouts for your heart.  -chaos
        \_ Consider joining the Cal Alumni Association (a flat $500 for a
           lifelong membership, or $50 per year if you don't think you're
           going to live 10 more years), and then signing up with the RSF.
           \-I think the RSF is a poor choice unless possible you live within
             walking distance or you are trying to hit on students. The hours
             arent great. It is crowded. It is hard to park. It is not really
             cheaper than other options. It only has one branch. etc. --psb
             cheaper than other options. It only has one branch. etc. What is
             good about the RSF? --psb
             \_ the college babes?
                \_ At Berkeley?!
                   \_ Uhm, yes.
                      \_ I don't believe it.
                         \_ You haven't been to campus recently, have you? :)
                            \_ I haven't but my wife is there almost everyday.
                               She assures me that the eye candy for women
                               is more plentiful than that for men, just as was
                               the case in the mid 90's when I was there. This
                               compared to her earlier campus, UCLA, where she
                               said she often felt faint walking through
                               campus for all the esteem-destroying
                               competition. Not in Berkeley. If you can
                               prove otherwise with pix. Please post.
                               \_ I don't think using UCLA or UCSD as a
                                  standard is sane.
                               \_ I guess it depends on whether you prefer
                                  the bleached blond, fake bake, boob job look
                                  over the healthy lean asian hottie. I prefer
                                  the latter.
                                  \_ Have you not sat down and watched at
                                     UCLA yet?  You can also go to Beverly
                                     Center on a weekend.
             \_ A healthy number of pools, fitness classes, a good range of
                equipment, and you'll always be in better shape than that
                old Sociology prof who keeps trying to make good on his
                '01 resolutions. Seriously, though, it's fine if you live
                nearby, much less so if you don't.
             \_ The RSF gym is not just crowded.  It's VERY crowded when I was
                in school a decade ago.  You couldn't do something like do a
                set, rest 10sec, and do one more, because there would be six or
                seven pairs of eyes looking at you disgustingly.  You have to
                either start your next set immediately, or get up and wait at
                the end of the long line again.
        \_ You can haggle.  My 24 hour fitness membership is 24 a month
           and my company reimburses me for it.  But you pay a huge fee
           up front.
           \_ Indeed, I acted extremely hesitant when I went in to sign
              up at one place, so the guy kept tacking on extra months
              at no extra cost.  Then he gave me a $100 gift certificate
              at a shoe store, free training sessions, etc..
           \_ Ah, so at 24Hour things are negotiable.  I didn't know that.
        \_ When I lived in LA back in 1996, I went to Family Fitness.
           Lots of machines, nice friendly atmosphere, new and clean
           facilities.  No frills except for a juice / smoothie bar.
           It was like $100 for 6 months then, and they stated it
           upfront, no oily sales pitch, no any other fees, just $100
           for 6 months.
           \_ 24 Hour bought Family Fitness a while back.  All hail 24.
           \- The one thing I will advise you is if you get any special deals
              absolutely get them in writing. I asked for things like being
              able to put the membership clock on pause when i was on travel
              and sometimes they "forgot" about those agreements or didnt
              mention you can only do tht for n-weeks or that there was a
              $10 charge to freeze etc. Otherwise if you know what you want,
              the pressure shouldnt matter too much.
        \_ go to UCLA. Go to the John Wooden Center nearby Ashe Center.
           They have a really nice synthetic wall to climb, 3 really really
           nice swimming pools, and the gals there look fantastic. Maybe
           you can get a new gf as well [one who doesn't yet need to workout]
           \_ Go to a gym to find a girl who doesn't need to workout? I
              would speculate they look great because they work out.
              Otherwise they wouldn't be there.
              \_ You and your damn logic.
        \_ Threesomes will keep you healthy.
           \_ With a female third or male?
              \_ Which way is your bread buttered?
                 \_ Hmm.
                    1) The third guy screws you while you screw your gf's
                       front.
                    2) You screw the third guy while he screws your gf's rear.
                    3) The third guy screws your gf's front while you screw her
                       rear.
                    Each of the three of you have two partners and four
                    different intercourses.  It only takes three positions.
                    Highly optimized.
                    \_ If sex were about optimization, you'd just go to a
                       sperm bank.
                       \_ Sperm bank is for reproduction, not sex.
                    \_ This works just as well for guy-girl-girl.
                        \_ As long as the extra girl has a penis.
                           \_ Or strap-on, if you're so inclined. However,
                              you can get four intercourses per person in
                              m-f-f scenario as well, as long as you include
                              oral (and why not? You're already accepting
                              anal).

12/9    Would you fly into space if you had a 5% chance of dying?
        \_ Why?  I don't understand why people would want to go to space
           under the current circumstances(no ftl travel, no inhabitable
           planets, no space stations with any real life or industry.)
           I can see the excitement of space *science*, done by robots,
           but I just don't get the appeal of being the monkey in the can.
           \_ It's an experience that few people in history have had. You
              obviously have no sense of adventure.
           \_ Yeah there's not much up there anyway. I mean, it's called space
              for a reason. If they get a moon base I'd want to go there.
        \_ http://zoom.cafepress.com/6/1540286_zoom.jpg
           \_ where can i get this shirt?
              \_ http://tinyurl.com/6m6jp
        \_ driving is?
           \_ ...not very useful for getting into orbit.  Just so ya know.
           \_ Apples to oranges...
        \_ 5% per trip
        \_ once?  sure!  20 times?  uhhhh.... no.
        \_ If I'm single and the trip is free, maybe.
        \_ depends on what that 5% is.  probably yes, though   -sax
           \_ Wow, you are crazy. -- ilyas
        \_ Hell yeah! When do we go?
        \_ What's this 5% based on?  If number of fatal missions out of total
           missions flown, then this is somewhat misleading; cf. the number
           of fatal flights out of total flights flown versus number of fatal
           flights this year out of total flights this year for air travel
           safety parallels.
           \_ I don't think it's based on anything.  You're reading far too
              deeply into a hypothetical question.  You're not very fun at
              parties, are you?
              \_ Feh.  This is what you do for fun at parties?  Dinner parties,
                 perhaps, but odds are good you spend a lot of time getting
                 pantsed at keggers.
                 \_ I think you just proved my point about not being fun at
                    parties, Mr Painfully-Literal Dorkboy.  Train harder,
                    grasshopper.
           \_ actually, it is more like 2%:
      http://www.globalsecurity.org/org/news/2003/030204-space01.htm
              http://tinyurl.com/46g4g (global security)
        \_ Every man dies, few men truly live.
           \_ Every man lives. Few men win the lottery.
              \-at 5% i'd go. however i dont think i'd pay $5000
                for a day in orbit. if you guys would subsidize
                to bring the out of pocket costs to say $2500,
                i'd go. probably if you die, you die pretty fast.
                i think the odds of a horrible death are lower.
                i probably wouldnt tell my mom until i got back
                however. in case you are interested, in about
                50yrs of everest climbing, <1500 summiteers, >150 deaths
                on the mountain. peak fee i believe is $USD 18,000.
                my guess is, the moment you cross 7000meters you have
                more than a 2% chance of dying in the next 48hrs ...
                although maybe i am underestimating the number of
                deaths in the Khumbu Ice Fall. --psb
                \_ Yeah, but on Everest, your intestines don't bubble out
                   of your eyes while your skin explodes and your lungs turn
                   to jelly, just before the space monster comes and eats
                   you.  -John

12/8    "Dude" research:
        http://www.cnn.com/2004/EDUCATION/12/08/dude.study.ap/index.html
        \_ Dude. That is sooo coool.

12/3    Kerik looks like a tough NY City Cop
        \_ But will the entire DHS still run Windows?  Homeland "Security"
           indeed!  None of that pointy-headed European OS!
           \_ I read most Navy ships run winblows now as well.
        \_ And the Powell smote the Kerik...

12/3
         .--""-.
      .-'       '-.
     :             :
    :      .--,     :                .--.
    :     :    :    :              .'    ".__.---.__.-.._
    :      '--'     :             : 66            ..--'"""--.
     :             :              '    _        .'           !
      '-.        .'                '--' '-.___.'
         '-.._.-'

         \_ w00t!
                \_ what does w00t mean?
                   \_ yermom asked the same thing last night!
                   \_ yermom kept asking me the same thing last night!
                      \_ fuck you you piece of shit.
        \_ Sperms have eyes?
           \_ of course!  Just think: every time you masturbate, millions of
              sperm are staring up at you with their sad, lonely eyes.  Won't
              you please think of the sperm?
              \_ how do white blood cells sense what to attack?

11/30   This should surprise no one: http://csua.org/u/a5o
        \_ Hmmmm. No explanation of where they found 29 "non homophobic men"
           in Georgia.
        \_ Which is why everyone in the catholic clergy are gay.
        \_ that study has been used by gays to get heteros to sleep
           w/ them since 1996
           \_ You mean "you want to beat me up but that really means you want
              to have sex with me?"
        \_ 35 homophobic and 29 nonhomophobic.  Isn't this sample size too
           small?
           \_ For 54% of the homophobic men, it wasn't small at all!
        \_ Kind of goes hand in hand with the grammar school idea that "if
           you like a girl, hit her".  -John

11/9    why isn't the heart drug made for blacks a hate drug?
        \_ you are stupid
           \_ he's stupid but still makes a good point.  for decades the
              medical research field has ignored racial differences when
              studying disease and the effects of drugs (also the diff. between
              men and women as well).  should we ignore race for medical
              reasons?  does doing so make us racist or does not doing so make
              us racist by denying that "we're all the same" and color is only
              skin deep, etc?  you too easily dismiss the core concept because
              it was presented by a moron.
              \_ We don't ignore race.  It's long been understood that blacks
                 are more genetically prone toward sickle cell anemia, and
                 ethnic Jews have a higher rate of Tay-Sachs.  Diagnosis and
                 treatment have been aimed at race.
                 \_ Those are very obvious cases.  There are numerous much
                    more subtle differences between people/races that most
                    medical researchers won't touch with a 10 mile pole.
                    Race is a hot button issue.  I wouldn't risk my career or
                    funding on the more subtle stuff.  Would you?  Very few are
                    willing to talk about it much less conduct serious medical
                    research in this area.
           \_ alright, let's say there's a drug for whites only. Can you
              imagine what the public reaction would be?
              \_ Very good point.
                 \_ Bullshit.  If there is a drug that for some genetic
                    reason has a beneficial effect on one group and none
                    for another, that's not racist, and I think you'd be
                    hard pressed to find any rational person who would
                    call it a _good point_
              \_ SUNSCREEN IS RACIST, BITCH!

10/30   Dear Secret Service Men who monitors motd, aaron@csua.berkeley
        says bad things about Bush and talks about killing and sodomizing
        him. Please visit aaron ASAP before something really happens.
        Thanks.                    -a concenred Patriotic conservative
        \_ hi ilyas
           \_ bullshit.  "men who monitors?" Ilyas at least speaks English.

9/13    Police in Najaf have found the bodies of 200
        men, women and children in a mass grave.
        http://www.memri.org/ticker.html
        \_ YOU MUST CAPITALIZE EVERYTHING LIKE THAT SITE! OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT
           SEEM IMPORTANT. DRUDGEREPORT UNDERSTANDS. XXX DEVELOPING...

8/17    Plastic surgery for pets:
        http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3923099.stm

7/29    Democrats... did you guys listen to Bill Clinton's speech at the
        convention?  it seems that he is still by far the best public speaker
        out of all the big boys in that hall.
        \_ Where can I get a transcript of what he said?
        \_ Barack Obama was awesome too, but I guess he's a "new kid," not
           a "big boy."
        \_ Doesn't it bother you that you refer to a former President as
           the 'big dog'.  Exactly what is this supposed to mean?  He
           is not spaid and has free roam of the neighborhood?
           As for Obama, oh yea let's make this the land opportunity
           by giving people things for free that other people paid for.
           \_ That damn Clinton mutt, always sneaking around while my bitches
              are in heat!
           \_ Damn right!  Kids didn't pay for the schools, so let's get
              rid of that commie public education.  Also, kids don't have
              any money to pay doctors, so let's stop this nonsense about
              public health care.  Once we get rid of all this free stuff
              that other people paid for, then America will be the true
              land of opportunity.
              \_ Would you be willing to lower your GPA by a full point to
                 give 5 others with 1.8 GPAs a 0.2 boost so they don't get
                 kicked out of school?
                 \_ Ahh.. the old "the points versus the playing field"
                    argument
                    \_ Answer it, don't duck.
              \_ So you wouldn't mind paying my taxes?
              \_ Ah yes, the red herring.  I'm sure you incapable of seeing
                 how something like free schooling for everyone is a benefit
                 for everyone because it's free schooling for *everyone* which
                 everyone uses to the same extent.  Whereas free health care
                 for everyone is a resource that is disproportionately used by
                 some at the expense of others.  But don't let logic or clear
                 thought get in the way of your rant.
                 \_ Ever heard of private schools? And free health care would
                    not mean the end of all private health care. So your
                    logical exceptions aren't any different than other social
                    programs. In fact all of these can be said to have a
                    benefit for everyone since it impacts the society. An
                    educated and healthy society has all sorts of benefits.
                    I'm not arguing one way or the other, just pointing it out.
                    \_ Actually, under the last seriously proposed universal
                       health care system, Hillary's, private medical care
                       would no longer be an option.  So, yes, it would mean
                       the end of private care.  I agree that an educated and
                       healthy society has benefits for all.  However, the
                       benefit to individuals in education is the same.  The
                       cost is also the same per student.  Health care costs
                       vary dramatically.  No, I'm not willing to pay for
                       some old guy's viagra, some fat person to go on a diet,
                       the umpteenth heart surgery for someone who won't take
                       care of themselves or anyone's plastic surgery.
                    \_ If all schools were private, many people would not
                       be able to send their kids to school, at least 25%,
                       since that is the percent of kids in poverty. Just
                       pointing that out.
                       \_ With private healthcare many don't get healthcare?
              \_ then, there is the non-sense of minimum wages.  We should
                 get rid of minimum wage let the iron law of wages dictates
                 the market value of hourly pay.
                 \_ minimum wages are entirely artificial and don't help
                    anyone.  all it means is that all prices go up that much
                    more to pay the legally mandated minimum.  If the iron
                    law of wages was allowed to dictate the market value of
                    hourly pay, prices and wages would be forced into
                    alignment instead of giving us government sponsored
                    inflation.  once again, don't let logic or reality get
                    in the way of your little rant, either.
                    \_ No economist believes these things. Show me some
                       evidence that "prices go up" in lockstep with
                       increases in the minimum wage. Don't let logic
                       or reality get in the way of your little rant, though.
                       \_ Let's take this to it's logical extreme.  Raise the
                          minimum wage to $25/hour.  Roughly $50k year.  That's
                          a living wage in the SFBA, right?  What is going to
                          happen to prices?  Homework on this topic is due on
                          Thursday, the quiz is next Monday in section.
          \_ Awww, if only he'd actually said that, my poor widdle twoll.
             \_ I watched his speech.  After reciting his personal
                history that is exactly the consequence of what he said.
                Just be honest about your intentions - is that too much
                to ask???

7/19    What's the average length of an Asian erect penis?
        \_ Laden or unladen?
        \_ What's the average length of bin Ladin's penis?
           \_ My name is bin Laden, not bin Ladin!  And I have big penis.
                Much bigger than wimpy George Bush's.
              \_ George Bush is not Asian.
                 \_ Then how did he father William Hung?
                 \_ G.W. Bush is clearly a mongoloid.
                    \_ Racist, what do you have against Mongolians?  That is
                       so not PC!
                        \_ Girlie man!
        \_ It's not the size that matters my son, it's how long you can
           stay hard.
           \_ That's what my wife tells me, but I think she's just being nice.
              \_ That's what your wife tells me, too.
        \_ 4 inches, 3 minutes.
            \_ 7200 RPM.
               \_ Uhm. Ouch.
            \_ what do people mean when they say "X mintues"?
               \_ They mean 551 557 906 200 X times one period of oscillation
                  of radiation from the hyperfine splitting of the ground state
                  of the caesium 133 atom.  -SI #1 fan
               \_ That 5 mana will go for 5 minutes, 6 mana for 6 minutes, etc.
            \_ 4 inches, serious?  Guess I'm not below average after all.
        \_ Mine is 12+" -- William (Well) Hung
        \_ http://the-penis-website.com/size2.html (Not work safe)
           4 to 6 inches, this site says.

7/10    why the spammers are ahead:
        http://cockeyed.com/lessons/viagra/viagra.html
        \_ boring

6/19    scotsman, it was hypocritical of me to block certain IPs and I
        apologize for any grief I have caused. I've unblocked all urls.
        However I'm still getting a LOT of sperm in the past few days and I can
        no longer log into certain Cal affiliated sites. I hope you can do
        your best to help me undo some stuff that perhaps others have done.
        Thank you for your help                 -kchang
        \_ I appreciate that.  Thank you.  What do you mean about "stuff that
           perhaps others have done"? --scotsman
           \-that's known as an "enenmies list" --psb
           \-that's known as an "enemies list" --psb
           \_ That's known as an "enemies list." --psb
           \_ What made you change your mind?
        \_ W00t! Long live kchang!
           \_ means he doesn't have proof that you spammed him but if you
              did he'd like you to stop it
              \_ Um.  Dude, who is this?  Do you have any idea how many
                 dictionary attacks this server gets?  Do you want to see
                 my daily spam counts?  Blaming anyone here for an increase
                 my daily sperm counts?  Blaming anyone here for an increase
                 in spam is silly. --scotsman

5/31    http://www.economist.com/world/europe/displayStory.cfm?story_id=2709203
        The article itself isn't that great, but at the end is the amusing
        fact: "Now that the police routinely test offenders for drugs,
        they are noticing that certain chemicals seem to be associated with
        certain types of crime. One Home Office study of 3,000 arrestees
        found that those pulled in for burglary and shoplifting were more
        likely to test positive for heroin than anyone else. Muggers and
        purse-snatchers, though, were most likely to be cocaine or crack
        users."  -So, know your area's drug of choice, and prepare!
        \_ The pot heads don't commit crimes?  Stuck at home on the couch
           without the will to go rip someone off?
           \_ Sounds like the beginning of a drug dealer infomercial.
              "Are you a pot head?  Stuck at home?  Just can't get up the
              enery to go out and mug someone?  Then Crack Cocaine may be
              energy to go out and mug someone?  Then Crack Cocaine may be
              for you!  Ask your local drug dealer about Crack Cocaine.
              Side affects may include heart attack and a "hanging around
              with butt holes" sensation.

4/9     There are 600,426,974,379,824,381,952 ways to spell Viagra
        http://cockeyed.com/lessons/viagra/viagra.html
        \_ The 10,000 names of God?

4/7     How do I make sure I last longer than she does?
        \_ Just get some Viagra or Cialis.  See http://www.rx-mex.com
           Doesn't matter if you come, you'll still be hard.  If you
           really don't want to come, try the extended pleasure condoms
           as the poster below mentions.  It contains a topical anestetic
           that will numb your penis.  And if you find you get too tired
           before she comes, like if she takes an hour or more, start
           working out or invest in some coke.  -sky
        \_ Use your finger instead.
        \_ Think about Barry Bonds' baseball stats  while you are doing it.
           \_ so how long does masters last once they start drilling?
              \_ I know on porn they seem to last forever... ;)
                 \_ its all drugs.
        \_ condoms can help that by killing the feeling, which sucks tho.
           one thing is, the second time around you probably last longer.
           also, getting her closer to start with would help. also try
           getting a larger penis.
           \_ Right!  The less pleasure you feel, the better you are doing.
           \_ Foreplay is your friend.  Toys are a good thing.  Try the
              mini-vibes at http://www.goodvibes.com
        \_ No one can satisfy yermom
        \_ Whack off before your date.
           \_ make sure to save a bit for styling her hair...
        \_ Try the Extended Pleasure condoms by Trojan.  Don't know if it
           really works though.
        \_ Why do you care?
           \_ You rock!  Thanks motd!  You always have the best answers!
        \_ Make sure to constantly switch to various positions.  I've gone
           hours this way.
        \_ Why should i give away my sexual secrets to you?

4/6     Study says Americans getting shorter and shorter:
        http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,12271,1185457,00.html
        \_ The study lays part of the blame on junk food and says a high
           protein diet causes great stature, but a lot of junk food IS high
           in protien.
           \_ the card board filler they put in McDs isn't protein.
           \_ Junk food also has lots of bad carbs, which cancels out
              the high protein benefits.

3/29    I usually have to shave once a week, but lately I've noticed that
        I have to shave at least once every other day (that, and other
        symptoms like needing more deodorant and an urge to look at porns
        more often). Anyways it's getting really annoying & I'm thinking
        about switching to a good electric shaver that is small and
        reliable. What do you guys use?                         -asian man
        \_ puberty finally kicking in?
        \_ I've used an electric shaver for several years now and have gotten
           to the point of needing to shave everyday, even though I am
           nowhere near being a hairy guy - annoyed asian guy
        \_ A 3-circle rotating Norelco.  It's pretty old.  I'm not too happy
           with it, but I do like that it doesn't use batteries.
        \_ Skip the electric.  Use a blade.  You'll get a much closer shave.
           \_ not needed if he's asian. i use a blade. -hairy man
           \_ I'm asian, and I'm hairy. -hairy asian man.
              \_ are Indians allowed to call themselves Asian?
                 \_ Sorry.  It's against the law.
        \_ I use a shaving blade.  I shave everyday, but I don't use
           deorderant even though I smell like a barbarian.

1/22    http://csua.org/u/5ns
        More on the syphilis/chat room connection.
        \_ LORD, SAVE US FROM THE GAYEEEES!!
           \_ AND THOSE PERVEEERT LESBEENS!!
        \_ oh my god!  almost 7000 cases nationwide of a disease which is
           easily cured with antibiotics!  Let's shut down the Internet!  -tom

11/10   Dennis Kucinich.  Why is he running for president?  I would think that
        by now people will realize that short men do not get become presidents.
        Michael Dukakis, Paul Tsongas, etc.
        \_ I thought Bush was short.
        \_ neither do motd twits who can use English properly.

10/22   Hey, (other) anonymous motd guy.  To answer your deleted question:
        Yes, i was (and often am) feeling pedantic.  That being said,
        you never answered my question:  Do you classify Viagra as a
        "Recreational Drug"?  -crebbs
        \_ Do classify sex as recreational?
           \_ yep. -crebbs
               \_ Sex is for procreation, not recreation.
                  \_ HEYYYYAAAA!  ITSA DA POPAAA!
        \_ Yes, I believe viagra is a recreational drug for the most part.
           Like many many many other drugs it can have valid medical uses
           but shtupping your secretary isn't one of them.  The question was
           gone or I would've been happy to answer it earlier.  -other anon guy
        \_ Who was asking about whether it makes you horny, in addition to
           making you hard? I say, who cares? If you have morning wood, is
           the tool not functional? It becomes a moot question.
            \_ damn it, h0zer, this ain't the viagra thread, this is the
                "drugs are bad, mmmkay" thread.  Get off my thread. -crebbs

10/21   I don't understand why Viagra is making money. Most of my married
        friends don't have a problem with impotence, and their problem is
        that their wives don't want to have sex. If anything, shouldn't
        the companies make drugs that will make women more horny than
        the other way around?
        \_ "I can't understand why people might want to fuck longer and
           more often! It's so fucking puzzling!"
        \_ you know what's going to kick ass? when you can have muscles
           put into your dick instead of erectile tissue.  then you could
           operate the mouse with your dick while you type with both hands,
           like Zimbu the monkey.
        \_ umm...are you or your friends at least 40+?
        \_ I think women have less of a problem with themselves not being
           able to "perform".  One, "So what?".  Two, if they really need to
           perform, they can just resort to cheap KY and fake it.  But men have
           a big problem with that.  One, it's not just "So what?"  Two, they
           can't fake it.
           \_ A erection is obvious but men can fake orgasm too as long as
              she's somewhat clueless.  --only done it once
              \_ You could fake it with no cum?  Where did you find such a
                 clueless gal???  I wanna get one too.
                 \_ Use a condom and figure it out.
                    \_ You fingered her and she could't even tell?  She's gotta
                       be a hot virgin.  I envy you.
        \_ Remember who Viagra is marketed at: Over-50 guys with money.
           These guys are a) having difficulty getting it up and b) rich
           enough to afford to pay for it.  What do you think was the drug of
           choice for the Japanese orgy in China recently?  Trust me, Pfizer's
           only worry is competition from Levitra and Cialis.
        \_ Viagra isn't just for impotence.  You stay hard even after
        \_ Viagra just isn't for impotence.  You stay hard even after
           several orgasms, which is good for women who take a long time
           to climax.  And if they climax more often, they are more inclined
           to want sex.  --sky
           \_ Do you keep your desire after the first orgasm moreso than w/o
              Viagra?
                \_ It's a chicken and egg problem.  Do I have a throbbing
                   erection because I am horny?  Am I horny because I have
                   a throbbing erection?  Does it really matter?  --sky
              Viagra?
                   a throbbing erection?  Does it really matter?  --sky
                   \_ My worry was throbbing erection and no horniness. tnx
                   \_ Drugs aren't bad.  'Recreational' drugs that destroy
                      user's lives and/or are incredibly addictive are bad.
                       \_ first a question:  Do you think Viagra is
                          "Recreational" or no ?  Second:  things aren't
                          bad.  NO "thing" is bad.  What people do with
                          things can be bad or good.  For example:   It is
                          good to hang out on Fri night with friends and
                          have a recreational and highly addictive glass of
                          beer.  It is bad to give a 5 year old ritalin.
                          \_ Feeling pedantic today?  When people say "xyz is
                             bad" they're saying "Using XYZ in the way most
                             people talk about using XYZ is bad".  I know
                             you're not an idiot so do yourself a favor and
                             stop trying to look like one.  I didn't tell you
                             anything new about common usage in the English
                             language.  So "amen!" to all the self destructive
                             drug users out there rationalising away their
                             selfish addiction.  I wish your families well.
                                           spelling fairy was here _/
                             \_ that means *you*
                          -crebbs
                      user's lives and/or are incredibly addictive are bad.
                          \_ amen!
                \_ Drugs are bad, mmmmkay?
        \_ Gay men

9/23    Drugs?  Darwin's best friend:
        http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_822069.html?menu=news.latestheadlines
        \_ http://www.erowid.org/plants/salvia/salvia_law.shtml
                \_ salvia is awesome! - danh
                   \_ Danh, will you warn us before you cut out your tongue
                      and cut off your penis?

9/9     Why isn't penile circumcision on minors illegal? They are being
        subjected to ritualistic cosmetic surgery without any form of
        consent, especially in the case of infants. I mean seriously.
        There is legal paranoia about so many things why not this?
        \_ Because you're a troll
        \_ http://dir.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/10/26feature.html
        \_ Kill the Jews!
           \_ I was cut and am not a Jew.
              \_ But I'll bet you know one!  Kill the Jews!
                 \_ Ok I'm convinced. let's start with you.
        \_ Kids are not capable of consent. Parents make their decisions for
           them. That is the way the world works. --dim
           \_ therefore if parents want to mutilate them, it's OK?  Get a clue.
              \_ How about earrings? Should girls have to wait until 18?  --dim
                \_ Parents should not wantonly pierce their kids against
                   the kids' will.  If the kid wants a piercing, more power
                   to them. -tom
                   \_ The point here is that the kid has no power of consent.
                      Whether they want a piercing or a tattoo is not relevant.
                      \_ You don't understand the concept of consent.  The
                         kid can't "consent" to a tattoo withour their
                         guardian's consent--but that doesn't mean the
                         guardian can consent for them.  -tom
                         \_ actually, yes, it does.
                      \_ Do you think parents should be allowed to tattoo and
                         pierce their young children? They may not have legal
                         consent, but they have rights.
                         \_ Yes, they should be allowed to unless the act can
                            be demonstrated to be cruel or unusual. That's
                            what this hinges on. Is circumcision cruel and
                            unusual? One side says it is and the other not.
                            Most people (as with earrings) think it is not.
        \_ umm. they're doing you a favor dude, how many girls wanna
           you know what to a uncircumsized weanie.
        \_ I'm a little ignorant here, but are there health issues for or
           against circumcision? Also, I knew Jews get circumcized, but what
           about Catholics, Mormons, Christians, and Moslems? Buddhists?
                                                     \- you dont know whether
                                              moslems are circumcized? --psb
           \_ It's a very "American" thing to do. In most cases religion
              has nothing to do with it. It's societal.
              \_ Religion (Christianity) has a lot to do with what is
                 considered "American". It is of religious origin.
           \_ Not really. Certainly nothing life endangering. One could also
              say we should chop off kids' fingers because they use them to
              pick up bottles of poison.
           \_ It is easier to keep clean and cancer risk is lower but it isn't
              like you'll die sterile at age 24 if you're not.  It's like
              jogging.  You're better off if you do but if you don't, hey.
           \_ Hindus do not believe in circumcision.
        \_ Circumcision pics: http://www.cirp.org/library/procedure/plastibell
              \_ But sensitivity is relevant premature ejaculation.
           \_ My mom put me thru all these when I was 11 in Hong Kong.
        \_ It reduces sensitivity, which means that teenage boys might be
           slightly less of horndogs... maybe this will make them better
           in bed, maybe worse...
           \_ Bullshit. Americans are not less horny than Euros for example.
              Sensitivity is irrelevant to horniness.
              \_ But sensitivity is relevant to premature ejaculation.
                 \_ Prove it.
                    \_ You feel better, you cum earlier.  Isn't it?
                       \_ how do you know it's not just "you feel better"?
           \_ More than sensitive enough to cum a few times a day.  --cut guy
        \_ I had a circumcision like 2 years ago due to a medical condition
           where my foreskin started losing its elasticity.  I got my dick
           stuck, and had to go to ER.  After that, the doctor told me I
           need to circumcize.  It wasn't a fun experience.
        \_ My dad had a circumcision when he was 50-something.

9/3     What's the Almighty MOTD's opinion on Creatine to bulk up?  Any
        side effects?
        \_ Creatine isn't about bulking up, dumbass pencil neck.
        \_ MWF - chest,legs,biceps TTh - back, shoulders, triceps
        \_ You do realize you'd still haveta put in your 10-14hr/week in the
           weight room, right?
           \_ How do you determine how much time you should spend in
              the weight room?  Some studies suggest that you should
              work your whole body once per week and rest otherwise.
              \_ The way I work out, I couldn't possibly do everything in a
                 day. I do 3-4 exercises per major body part (legs, chest,
                 back), and 1-2 per smaller part (biceps, triceps, etc). If
                 you can do all that in a day, feel free to.
           \_ follow your dreams, you can reach your goals; I'm living
              proof.  Beefcake!!!!! -Arnold
              \_ Weightgain 4000 rewls.
           \_ 5 hrs/wk for 5 years will give you much better results
              than 15 hr/wk for 2 yrs.
        \_ deja vu. This has been in the motd before.  Search the archives...

8/1     Which one of you sodans coined the term "big oppressive white penis"?
        It was either aspolito or someone similar...
        \_Nope not me.  Anyway wasp white penis tends to be anything but big.
                 -aspo
         \_ oh and I can't find a single use of that term in the motd archive
                 -aspo
        \_ Was it seano? -geordan
        \_ Fortunately no one is similar to aspo.
        \_ Boredcast Message from 'seano': Mon Jun 15 13:35:19 1998

           this mulan thing is my mastubatory fantasy about
           beating asian races with my giant oppressive white penis

5/21    Man question: what does flushing the urinal while peeing accomplish?
        It seems like everybody at my company does, even the young guys
        \_ Why flush a urinal at all, except sporadically?  It's got a drain
           on the bottom anyway, so it's not like the stuff's sitting around.
           \_ unflushed unrinals lead to contaminated water being splashed
              on your pecker.
           \_ Sure it is. You can smell it. Which is part of the reason to
              flush afterwards.
        \_ Never heard of or seen such a thing.  How could you flush a stand
           up urinal while still peeing anyway?  You don't you touch the thing
           with your bare hand, do you?  This is what God invented shoes for.
           \_ Mine are approximately shoulder level, which inspires careful
              scrubbing afterward.
        \_ flushing first insures that any splash-back is just your own piss
           or water--as opposed to your piss comingled w/ the piss of others.
           Personally, I agree w/ the guy who never touches the handle with
           his hand... and additionally I only piss in the stalls to further
           mitigate the splash-back issue
           \_ You probably piss on the seat too.  Wanker.
           \_ ...and i piss on your keyboard at night when you're not there
              making it all pointless.
           \_ Your kitchen is probably more contaminated.  Germs don't do well
              on stainless steel.  As long as you wash your hands after
              flushing, you don't have to worry about it.  Are you one of those
              nuts that dries his hands and then uses the paper towel to open
              the door (leaving the towel behind)?  It's freaks like you that
              make the biggest messes.
              \_ I do this all the time, but throw the towel in the trash can.
                 After you see the n-th guy walk out from a stinky stall and
                 head straight back to work, you'll pick up the habit too.
                 \_ I do this all the time too, but only after I notice
                    my manager (male) walk out from the stinky TOILET
                    back to work w/o washing his hands.
           \_ just to mention, pee is sterile unless you have a UTI or kidney
              infection.  afraid of a little amonia?  (I know it SEEMS gross).
           \_ The way I avoid splash-back is to aim at the side of the urinal,
              so that 1) my piss hits the surface at an angle rather than
              perpendicularly, hence reducing splash, and 2) any splash will be
              towards the urinal instead of me.  See the illustration below.

                 urinal          urinal
                 _____           _____
                |     |         |     |
                |     |         |     |
                 \                 |
                  \                |
                  me               me

               No splash.        Splash.

              It works well on most urinals.  It only doesn't work on those
              urinals that are very wide and have small side walls.  In that
              case I control my bladder to not piss with full force.
              \_ Here's another alternative:
                         ----
                        |
                 urinal |     -    -    -      -        ---- Sodan
                        |    \
                         ---- "
                               \
              \_ Congratulations.  You win the award for most bored sodan.
        \_ On a related note.  Guys fart while urinating.  It must be
           some muscle relaxation thing.  I told my wife about this and she
           seems rather disgusted.  Apparently she never farts while urinating.
           Is this true of women in general?
           \_ It doesn't enter into her consciousness, but she does it.
              We all do.  Is she a goer?  Does she go?
              \_ "goer"???  If you're asking if she farts out loud in my
                  presense, yes she does.
                  \_ Say no more.
                     \_ Seconded.  Please say no more.
                  \_ A wink's as good as a nod to a blind bat,
                     know what I mean, know what I mean?
           \_ Release of bladder pressure and relaxing the muscles in the
              region has a lot to do with it.
        \_ Some people have a tough time letting go, and the sound of
           the running water helps them get started.
           \- hello, you may wish to see:
                     http://maddog.weblogs.com/stories/storyReader$68
              --psb

5/21    Claritin/Nicoderm become non-prescription medications, Viagra could
        be ordered online via "online consultation". What's next, RU486? Are
        the big drug companies trying to milk the cow at the risk of the
        consumers?
        \_ What's wrong with RU486 being an easy access medication?
           \_ It's used in conjunction with other medications which are not
              so easily accessible.
              \_ How so?  Ru486 has multiple uses.
                 \_ Those being as a contragestive, an abortion facilitator,
                    and an aid in difficult delivery in obstetrics.  There
                    are other contragestive approaches that are easier to
                    obtain, and should be consulted with a doctor in any
                    event.  The other two must have medical supervision of
                    some sort.

5/19    Exercise advice sought:  If I am just trying to tone up a little
        can I do something like 400-500 curls with 10lbs dumbells or will
        that little weight not do anything?  Better to do half as many
        with 20lbs?  I am a small stature person.
        \_ Hi, small stature person!
        \_ If you want to bulk up, do enough weight so that you can just
           barely do 3 sets of 12. If you just want toning, take yoga.
           \_ 2nded.  You'll get results more quickly this way, and at 20lbs
              you need not fear of turning into that enormous guy at the gym
              with hairy shoulders.  Just make sure your form is good if
              you're just starting off w/ weights.
           \_ tone != bulk.  If you want tone and definition, you do want more
              reps with lower weight.  Try 3-5 sets of 15-20 reps.  More reps
              per set if you like.
              \_ That is why I asked if 400x10lbs or 200x20lbs would be
                 better.
                 \_ You should never need to do 400 or even 200 reps (I hope
                    you're just giving exagerrated numbers for effect). The
                    above poster is right... find a weight where you can just
                    barely do 20 or even 25 reps and work from there. Oh, and
                    something that gets lost in the equation of toning/bulking:
                    diet. You can have the perfect workouts, with the ideal
                    weights, sets, reps, exercises, form, etc., but it won't
                    that the hard way (yes, I've been improvement once I cut
                    down on the french fries)
                    make a difference until you start eating right. I learned
                    that the hard way (yes, I've seen improvement after I cut
                    out the fast food)
        \_ Don't listen to these people who haven't tried it!  I would
           recommend 800-1000 curls with 5 lbs, I have had very
           effective results with that.  Try it for yourself!
           \_ Sounds like a recipie for tendonitis.  Curls, like most
              weight work, isolates a particular muscle group.  Unlike
              exercizes that impact a larger number of muscles, weight
              work is not suitable for rep counts.  There is debate over
              whether the 30-rep sets are safe.  Even the high-rep clique
              at the gym would agree that 800 is crazy.
           \- I dont claim to have a particularly sane exercise program
              but some comments: 1. first i think doing a few hundred
              curls of low weight should be ok. it is probably like using
              a rowing machine for 20-30 min. 2. if you goal is tone and
              general fitness with a low target and without joining a gym
              or buying pricey equipment, then i'd just run like 3miles
              3-4 times a week. that moves large muscles unlike the curl
              program and will probably burn more calories and get your
              mtabolism up and your fat level down. if you ear a reasonable
              mtabolism up and your fat level down. if you eat a reasonable
              amount of protein, it is easy to bulk up arms for men. legs
              are a lot more work. --psb
              \_ The problem is that with any serious weight and crazy high
                 repetitions, it's very possible to give yourself a RSI.  This
                 is especially true if you have no idea what you're doing and
                 have little or no idea of good form.  This is a very hard
                 lesson to learn by injuring yourself.
        \_ Isometrics, son.  It's all about isometrics.
        \_ I don't think you ever need to worry about bulking up
           unintentionally.  If it was that easy to get big, you wouldn't
           see people spending 24x7 in the gym, drinking protein shakes,
           taking supplements, and reading muscle magazines.  Start with
           a standard excercise routine which you can find in any excercise
           book or web page and if you notice yourself getting "too big",
           cut back on the weight and increase your reps/sets by 15%. -emin
        \_ Here's a question. Why do any of this? Simply to look better? I
           can think of a dozen kinds of exercise that will keep you in shape
           and certainly sound more enjoyable than endless reps in a gym or
           some room in one's house. I suppose I need to give partha credit for
           hinting at the same point. I swim about a mile a day and I'll bet,
           if nothing else, I have more interesting things to look at. :)
           \- i sort of got addicted to swimming for a while and was swimming
              maybe 10-12 miles a week. i dont think swimming gets you very
              far unless you have a lot of discipline [i.e. you do the
              equivalent of running intervals] or you combine with weights.
              if you do the equivalent of a slow jog in the pool, it doesnt
              get you very far. if i am totally out of shape then i start
              my aerobic conditioning by swimming, since it's hard to get
              motvated to run if you cant even run 2 miles. but otherwise
              swimming alone to me is like exercise bike or walking ... for
              old people or people who for some other reason, e.g. 50lbs
              overweight, cant run or something like that. --psb

5/18    My pet theory is that the average caucasian women are fatter than
        the average east asian men. What do you guys think?
        \_ Provided this ain't a troll, you talking about overall weight, or
           body fat percentage? If the latter, the average woman of any
           ethnicity will be fatter than that of any man. If the former,
           sorry, I don't know many Asian men in the 100-130lbs range, and I'm
           Asian.  [formatd]
                \_ average white women >>> 130 pounds. Just look at Jenni
                   Craig commercials. And Lila. Etc etc.
                   \_ is that you kchang?  have you come back from the dead?
                      --kchang #1 fan
                        \_ that's me. Alah Ahkbar! Alalalalalalalah!

4/30    In American Pie II, Stiffler is a prick and everyone can see that.
        How come he gets laid more than the other guys?
        \_ Women who aren't gay want pricks.  Duh.
                \_ the question is, WHY do women want pricks over nice guys
                   \_ Why do men want needy sluts over nice girls
                      \_ Nah, men likes to turn nice girls into sluts.
                      \_ Men like sex. Sluts put out, nice girls are
                         less likely to.
        \_ It's: 1) a movie, 2) the others were pussies.
        \_ christine, wanna comment on why you guys like pricks instead
           nice stable engineering men?

4/24    It seems to me that, ultimately, there are only three
        applications of technological research: consumer use,
        health advancement, and military. I'm wondering if there
        are any other ones?
        \_ use in science and further technology developement.
        \_ uh... industrial use?
        \_ Agricultural use.
        \_ Entertainment.  It seems to me, that, ultimately, every aspect of
           society can benefit from applications of technological research.
        \_ Viagra falls into scientific discovery and entertainment.
           \_ I went to Viagra Falls once... its so beautiful

2/5     There is hope for aspo:
        http://www.tabletnewspaper.com/vol2iss_19/features/foreskin.htm
        \_ right. an extra peice of skin on the end of my dick. just
           what I need.  When you find an article telling me how
           to surgically add a working spiked tail, please please please
           post the URL, and i'll give a shit.
        \_ actually I like being circumcised. -aspo
        \_ Hurting once is not enough and you want it to hurt again?

1/6     I got a Gillete mach3 turbo shaver in the mail.  Why is Gillete
        giving it away for free?  Are they stupid?
        \_ Anyone tried using a straight razor? They do it in the movies
           and it looks so easy.
           \_ It looks so easy when they jump 10 feet up too.
        \_ They want you to love their product and spend the rest of your
           life buying replacement blades.
        \_ Did you try it? Is it any better than Gillete Sensor?
           \_ The regular Sensor razor is little better than a disposable
              Bic.  With Excel you get little rubber flaps that reduce
              cuts.
           \_ Sensor Excel is a smoother shave than the mach3, but it is
                more likely to cut you. it's not good for heads or legs or
                sensitive faces. the mach3 turbo doesnt seem to be any
                different than the mach3, but it is 50% more expensive. i got
                gyp'd...
                \_ I second everything you said, except I never tried it
                   on my head or legs.  - op
                \_ no way.  Mach3 is a much closer shave for me than the
                   Sensor Excel, and I have some serious facial hair. -aspo
                   \_ Oh I forgot.  The one thing I don't like about the
                      Mach3 vs. the Sensor Excel is that if I don't shave
                      for a few days the Mach3 hurts more when I shave (but
                      still is less likely to cut up my face.)  The Mach3
                      Turbo doesn't seems to be a bit better in this respect.
                        \_ does or doesnt?
                \_ yeah, I learned the hard way too that Sensor Excel is bad
                   for my sensitive face ..
                   \_ I have a suspicion that Gillette purposely lowered
                      the quality for sensor excel blades so people would
                      move to mach3.  It's a damn blade, how many years
                      do they need to perfect it?
                      \_ Mach3 sucked ass last time i used it.  i have no
                         troubles with the excel...
        \_ I think they sent me mach3 when I turned 18.  Yeah, it's basically
           to get you to buy their blades, but a lot of people, including
           myself like mach3.  Oh, and I've known quite a few girls that
           liked it for their legs.
           \_ Damn!  No wonder my ex-girlfriend refuses to return me my
              mach3, relegating me to my crappy old sensor excel.
              \_ brilliant! you've figured out how to get STD's from your
                 ex without sex.
        \_ This is getting very boring.  Can someone start a thread discussing
           the relative merits of different brands of female hygienic products?
           \_ Finally a man's-man instead of csua-man discussion on them motd

11/26   My boyfriend wants me to shave my pubic region, but I am new to
        this.  What are the general preferences for you guys out there?
        What about shapes?  Do you like it all off, or a little left on?
        Any experiences with waxing?
        \_ waxing hurts.  like a bitch.
        \_ all off. and yeah it'll probably hurt to wax, but you get two
           to three weeks of extra pleasure with no stubble in exchange,
           no razor bumps, etc. wax it.
        \_ what about guys?  shouldn't guys shave?  i once went out
           with a shaved guy -- pretty interesting.  better oral experience.
           \_ the OP was about guys.  Hint: my boyfriend
        \_ just keep it neat.  I trim with clippers about once a month.
           some like au natural, though.  eh.  do what you like.
        \_ Congratulations and well-trolled, dude.

11/6    "Workers to Donate Sperm to Pay Plant Debts"
        http://csua.org/u/4e9
        Co-worker A: "Did you remember to go jerk off today?"
        Co-worker B: "Yeah, I did over lunch break."
        Co-worker A: "Great *job*!  Me too."
        And then they shake hands, their right hands.
                                         \_ What's with the left-handed bias?
                                            \_ i've always prefered using
                                               the left hand.  somehow makes
                                               it less predictable.  and i
                                               can still type...  --right
                                               handed beater
        \_ What do the female workers do?
           \_ Maybe they help the guys?
            \_ Duh.  Eggs are worth a whole lot more.
          \_ I doubt they donate eggs.  Donating eggs is a lot less pleasant
                than squirting some sperm.
                \_ Maybe they assist the men to make their donation.
        \_ Egg donation requires surgical operations and it cannot be done
           during lunch break.

8/28    Anybody tried rogaine?  How does it work, and how well does it
        work?  How much does it cost?
        \_ In case this is a serious questions and not a random troll...
           I'm going to suggest something that doesn't cost you anything,
           in fact it might even save you money.  I'm not getting bald, I have
           a full set of hair.  I've noticed that I have MORE hair
           than before and my hair is growing faster and is shinier/healthier.
           The secret:  good nutrition.  I don't eat processed foods and I
           rarely eat out at restaurants.  If I do eat out it's at salad
           places like Fresh Choice.  If you cook and eat from fresh ingredient
           everyday, you will improve your health and might just stop the
           hair loss.  Again, this costs you nothing except the time it takes
           to prepare and cook your food.  It's definitely worth it if it
           can stop your hair loss.
                \_ I bet those scientists who believe in a genetic basis
                   to baldness are the same ones who believe in global
                   warming.  -tom
        \_ If you're Jewish, the yarlmulka provides a much cheaper solution.
        \_ just shave your head and be done with it.
           \_ or you could get a reverse-mohawk like the Harkonens in
              David Lynch's Dune movie.  if only someone could get that
              to be fashionable.
           \_ Amen, brother.     -mice
              \_ What can the sisters do?
        \_ My dad says that it kept the peachfuzz on top of his head from
           disappearing.
        \_ Doesn't seem to help my receding hairline. Not too surprising,
           since that is not what it is indicated for, but I figured I
           would try anyway.
        \_ Don't let any drip down your forehead.  Unless you want peach
           fuzz in novel places.
        \_ taking propecia, never touched rogaine.  hairloss stopped.  i'm
           not seeing my hairline restored but it's not losing ground either.
           my doc says that using both works even better if youre really
           serious about it but i havent tried.
        \_ I guess this day was going to come sooner or later.  Motd trollers
           getting older and asking this type of questions.  In a few years,
           we'll be talking about getting that "procedure" done or which
           doctor is good for coronary bypass surgeries.

8/15    Why do people keep deleting my troll?!
        how big a penis do I need to have in order to
        walk around the locker room naked?  I recently saw a guy with a
        smallish penis and he obviously didn't care.  I thought that was
        kind of embarrassing.  If you're going to show it at least show
        something worth looking at.

8/2     Sorry but I just *had* to post this.  :-)
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/charlottecooper/charlotte/docs/rainbow/mangina.htm
        \_ thank you mangina guy for posting this!

7/1     When two women hug, their breasts will touch each other.  How do
        you straight women feel about that?   -curious
        \_ when two men hug, their penises may touch one another. How
                                 not if they are wearing pants_/
           do you straight men feel about that? No, wait, most straight
           men are freaked out by such things but think two women getting
           it on is a total rush. Grow up.
           \_ men don't hug, faggot.
           \_ men don't hug knee to knee when they rarely hug.  It was a nice
              try at post-feminist over-reaction but frankly that whole thing
              is quite passe and "done".  As my ultra fascist psycho radical
              lesbian feminist friends would say, "Grow up".
              \_ Hmm they usually say "That's not funny."
                 \_ They used to.  Now they just go off on your endlessly and
                    try to verbally batter you into submission.
        \_ do men (straight or otherwise) worry about offending women
           (straight or otherwise) when they hug women and press hips?
           yes, grow up.
           \_ Who the hell are all you people out there who press hips when
              they hug?  Where are all these hip smashing huggers?  I've
              *never* seen or heard of such a thing.  Breasts touch, hips do
              not.  Try some basic biology or better yet just go out there and
              hug someone instead of spreading the hate on the motd.
              \_ it's hard to reach the keyboard while hugging.
                 \_ Oh, well, yeah there's that.
        \_ Another slow day at the motd.farm

5/10    Any reccomendations for quiet places to MASTURBATE on campus ?
                                                \_
                        Changing words in posts is usually juvenile but
                        this is kind of funny since things still kind
                        of makes sense.
                        |_ May is National Masturbation Month!
                          http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/gate/archive/2002/05/08/notes050802.DTL
        I am finding all the usual areas crowd with socializing people.
        \_ I liked my gf's bed.  Soft, warm, accomodating and the bed wasn't
           bad either.  -alum
           \_ Where's your gf's bed?  I'll try it out.
              \_ Unit 1, 5th floor.  Unit 2, 4th floor.  Several coops.  A few
                 apartments.  Currently in Peace Corp, another in Bakersfield,
                 another in Oregon, and who the hell knows where the others
                 went.  You're welcome to the beds and the girls too if you
                 can find them.  :-)
                 \_ TJB?  How'd you get a soda account?
                 \_ Ooh!  It's like a scavenger hunt!
                    \_ If you find the Peace Corp one or the acid queen, lemme
                       know. I'm curious how they've been.  Thanks!
              \_ And the two pillows on her chest were comfy too.
        \_ Education library in Tolman and Anthro library in Krober.
        \_ How about the Morrison reading room next to Doe?  You can even
           check out huge headphones and CDs and listen to music there.
                -- alice
           \_ yeah, this is a great place... only problem is that they
              won't let you use laptops there for some reason.
              \_ You are also very likely to fall asleep there; really hard
                 to stay awake with the comfy furniture. Same problem as the
                 Heller lounge couches. Try the VLSB library.
              \_ Then Brewed.  Take advantage of wireless connection.
                 Wear headphones.  -- alice
        \_ Music dept's library?
        \_ The garage on north side.
        \_ Real men don't study.  They cheat.
           \_ Real men only take classes with women and seduce them into A+
              after A+ and then charge them for it.  Losers cheat.

04/730  I am thinking of buying an electric beaver. Any opinions on rotary
        vs linear beavers?
        \_ I bought a Norelco Quadra-Action (used to use a Gillette Sensor).
           Hate it.  I use it because it's faster than lathering up and all,
           but it's painful if you ever miss a day of shaving and does a
           really shitty job compared to a blade.  --dbushong
           \_ I think pretty much all electric razors do a shitty job
              compared with blades.  The Braun Flex Integral at least
              has a clipper you can use for really long hairs.  But it's
              a tradeoff.  -tom
              \_ Try it for 30 days.  Your money back if you don't think it's
                 as good as a blade.  I liked it so much I bought the company!
        \_ anybody have any experience with depilatories?
           \_ yeah, but I'm a girl, probably not what you're looking for
              -chialea
              \_ I'm sure he's also incidentally looking for a girl.
                 -geordan
                 \_ Get a room already.
                    \_ That didn't even make any sense. -geordan
                 \_ yes, but not chialea.
              \_ ho well does it work?  is it painful at all?  does the hair
                 eventually grow back?
           \_ epil-stop!
              http://www.igia.com/epil-stop/default.cfm
        \_ I use a linear beaver, and I accidentally found that if I skip
           shaving for one day, it shaves cleaner the next day than if I shave
           every day.  Now I only shave every other day.  But it might just be
           my skin or my beaver and doesn't apply to everyone.

3/30    I am thinking of buying an electric shaver. Any opinions on rotary
        vs linear shavers?
        \_ I bought a Norelco Quadra-Action (used to use a Gillette Sensor).
           Hate it.  I use it because it's faster than lathering up and all,
           but it's painful if you ever miss a day of shaving and does a
           really shitty job compared to a blade.  --dbushong
           \_ I think pretty much all electric razors do a shitty job
              compared with blades.  The Braun Flex Integral at least
              has a clipper you can use for really long hairs.  But it's
              a tradeoff.  -tom

3/24    Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.
        \_ where do you live?  i have a ton of cat shit to give you.
           \_ Under your pillow.
        \_ It may also be the last day.
           \_ What do you mean "may?" Bwahahaha! (Brought to you by Evil
              Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow. "Fools! Who's laughing NOW?")
              \_ I've got a 10 for the Girlie Mags to take over the Evil
                 Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow with the help of the Men in
                 Black, and the Orbital Mind Control Lasers.
                 \_ don't forget the reverse vampires! -crebbs
        \_ How insanely depressing. -geordan
           \_ Depends on one's world view and look on life.
               \_You have a unique sense of the obvious. -crebbs
                 \_ I posted it as a positive, not a negative statement.  I
                    was a bit surprised to see someone take it the exact
                    opposite of how I intended it.  --OP
                    \_ You haven't been around much, have you?  (either
                        that or you are a girl. - not that there is any
                        thing wrong with that; some of my best friends
                        are girls).
                        \_ I can be a girl for you today but I don't come

                           cheap.  How much do you make and how much is for
                           me?
                           \_ You are not a girl. You can never be a girl
                              since girls never ask how much is for them.
                              They know, its all for them, 100%! 50% is
                              guarenteed to them because of CP and the
                              other 50% is thiers for the taking. After
                              all, every feminazi lesbian man hating divorce
                              court judge knows that all men are filthy
                              evil scum sucking rapists who just like to
            \_ That's an AWESOME quote! LOL!        -mice
        \_ Let's make the rest of your life happy and fulfilling!
                              plunder, pillage and rape and there is no
                              reason for them to be walking the streets
                              let alone earn a decent living. Girls, just
                              say no!
                              \_ CP doesn't work that way.  Also are you the
                                 Bitter Divorced Guy?
                                 \_ He could qualify for an Evil Genius for
                                    a Better Tomorrow "disturbed" status
                                    membership. "I'll show you! I'll show
                                    you ALL!"
                    \_ Just a view from a realist. -geordan
                       \_ An optimist proudly claims that we live in the
                          best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist
                          fears he may be right.
                       \_ Sorry.  Didn't intend to rain on anyone's day.  --OP
                          \_ I know.  That's my job. -geordan
                          \_ Pardon me for breathing which i never do anyway
                             so i don't know why i even bother to say it oh
                             GOD i'm SO DEPRESSED [this is formatted this way
                             for effect.  Fuck off.]
                             [ reformatted for effect - motdformatd ]
                 \_ To whom it may concern:  You are a very special person.
                    -geordan
        \_ "You start life screaming and covered in blood. If you play
            your cards right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there."
            \_ That's an AWESOME quote! LOL!        -rice

3/9     hey, rand-heads!  if i'm going to read one ayn rand book, which
        one should i read?
        \_ Ayn Rand Ate My Balls
        \_ the forward to _fountainhead_, where rand proudly proclaims
           how many publishers turned away her tripe after recognizing
           it for just that is a gem.  almost everything that makes rand
           so horrible yet so hard to avoid in that macabre sense shines
           through in it so well that i would almost say that you should
           read it over _atlas shrugged_ (though the only rand i've read
           is _fountainhead_.)  i just hope you have a transpacific flight
           to waste on it as i did.
        \_ _Ayn Rand Contra Human Nature_, Nyquist.
           _The Ayn Rand Cult_, Walker
        \_ Fountain Shrugged
        \_ I decided 2 years ago to read one of her SciFi books. I was told
           to read either _Fountainhead_ or _Atlas Shrugged_.  I read
           _Atlas Shrugged_ and let me tell you it sucked.  It sucked bad,
           and this is coming from a libertarian, pro-capitalist, greed-head,
           logical-positivist with "objectivist" tendencies.  Unless you don't
           mind being preached at over and over again with the same spiel,
           phrased the same, ad nauseum, i'd advise avoiding Ayn.  At least
           you should avoid her poor Science Fiction; _The Romantic Manifesto_
           is her treatise on aesthetics (which i read years ago) and is much
           less annoying as it is not mislabeled as entertainment. It is also
           more entertaining as, instead of knocking down straw men, she
           argues that only art that is "uplifting" can be truly great (a
           sentiment that I can't imagine any reasonable person agreeing
           with.) -crebbs
                        \- i read some essays by AR and my reactions included:
                           1. yes preacy but also condescending
                           2. most of it was facile
                           3. what was original was stolen [and often not
                              awknowledged], e.g the apollonian and dyonisian
                              stuff. better read other people on almost every
                              issue she touches on. e.g. R. Nozick: Anarchy,
                              State & Utopia, or R. Posner, or even Nietzsche.
                              Of course most Randroids are not tall enough for
                              those books.
                           4. Randroids are not (actually) interested in ideas
                              but justification.
                           5. ok tnx. --psb
           \_ She lost touch with reality LONG before she wrote her books.
              \- maybe putting kerosene in her hair had some long term effects.
                 so are there any people who like heinlein but not rand?
                 i think he is a comparable lemur. ok tnx. --psb
                 \_ I like (a lot of) Heinlein, agree with crebbs
                    re: _Atlas Shrugged_.  Heinlein at his best is a lot
                    more intellectually honest.   You'll probably find a
                    number of people on rec.arts.sf.written with a similar
                    opinion.  -- goldfarb
                 \_ I like Heinlein but not Rand, Heinlein's stories are
                    entertaining whether or not you like his politics, and
                    he makes likable characters. Rand's characters taste
                    like cardboard.
                 \_ Heinlein was my favorite SciFi guy when i was a teen.
                    Although their politics/philosophy is similar (not the
                    same mind you) the similarities end there. RAH is a science
                    fiction author who is political.  Rand is a "philosopher"
                    who writes novels. Their writing is not similar at all.
                    (o.k. they both have ridiculously idealized leading
                    characters, but so do Clint Eastwood movies). Margaret
                    Atwood is more similar to Ayn even though their politics
                    are not at all similar.  Both Ayn and Margaret care (it
                    seems to me anyway) much more about preaching their point
                    than in the story they are telling. Disclaimer: I have only
                    ever read _The Handmaid's Tale_ by M.A. and it was not
                    without redeeming qualities and was better than _A S_, it
                    just wasn't good. Finally, psb, what have you got against
                    lemurs?  -crebbs
           \_ Who told you Fountainhead was scifi?
        \_ http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~andrej/objectivism
           \_ this page is full of more non-sense than /.
              \_ The difference is, the people on /. are serious.
        \_ What is the big deal with Ayn Rand? I tried to read her books
           and they were *boring* and seemingly devoid of content.
           \_ Ayn Rand promises all the answers.  People find that compelling.
           \_ objectivists are ignorant.
              \_ Everyone is ignorant. You are an ignorant idiot
                 -Chad C. Mulligan
                \_ You are John Brunner and I claim my 5 pounds. -- goldfarb

1/31    What is it about balding prfessors? Canny is balding, Katz is balding,
        Malik is bald, etc etc. Suzan Graham isn't bald, but she ain't a
        male professor.
        \_ Hey, females go bald too.
        \_ It's called "aging".  It has nothing to do with professorship, but
           you knew this.

1/18    Usually at what age do men start to lose interest in porn?
        \_ Death
           \_ "The day you stop looking is the day you die." (from Scent of a
              Woman)
        \_ something like that.. studies say in their early 80's
        \_ I am not interested in porn. -- 25
           \_ have you seen a doctor?

11/9    Patton to the 3rd army:
        http://www.nationalreview.com/weekend/history/history-patton111001.shtml
        [why the hell was this deleted?  bite me]

11/9    Patton to the 3rd army:
        http://www.nationalreview.com/weekend/history/history-patton111001.shtml

10/30   Related to the male-rape question yesterday.  Has it ever been shown
        on TV?  Which shows?  Women get raped by men on TV sometimes, but
        do they ever show men getting raped by other men?  (I'm doing research
        and not getting off on this BTW).  Thanks.
        \_ i've seen midnight express on tv - danh
        \_ Yes, I saw American History X on TV.
        \_ Also 'Oz' on HBO.
        \_ Deliverance kind of implies it, but they hacked it up to make
           it acceptable to television, so if you didn't know what was
           happening you'd just be confused.
           \_ hacked-up scenes confuse
              make you squeal like a pig, boy
              tv can't show ass
        \_ I think you should change your focus to the more general rubric
           of "sodomy".
        \_ Various movies such as the Shawshank Redemption have represented
           this happening. Law and Order has a couple of shows pertaining
           to it. Are you including male-male child molestation?

10/5    Coroner says object in fruit drink not penis:
    http://www.mycfnow.com/sh/news/stories/nat-news-100275020011003-191057.html

9/18    Here is something one can do to prevent and combat future terrorist
        threats:
        http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=24529
        \_ Wu Shu is good for everyone.
        \_ A link to Patton's speech from that page:
           http://www.geoffmetcalf.com/patton_20010914.html
           Patton was already using terms like "He Man" and "superman".  I
           thought those were first created as comic characters after WWII.
           \_ "superman" was a 19th century idea.  See Nietzsche, Wagner,
              Shaw, et al.

8/20    Who has taken creatine? Is it good stuff?
        \_ It's alright. It doesn't make you bigger necessarily,
           but it does make you stronger (which in turn can correspond
           to a size increase). In my experience, though, as much
           as it doesn't have any (currently known) side effects,
           I'd still stay away from any of those supplements. If you're
           dedicated and consistent with your workout, you'll gain the
           same strength soon enough. That's why I stopped taking it.
           \_ Is creatine all-natural or does it contain steroid?
              \_ which definition?
              \_ Creatine isn't a steroid.  However, if you take the
        supplement, your body stops producing it.  Not good.  It also
        increases water retention.
       n 1: any of several fat-soluble organic compounds having as a
            basis 17 carbon atoms in four rings; many have important
            physiological effects
       2: any hormone affecting the development and growth of sex
          organs [syn: {steroid hormone}, {sex hormone}]
        \_ is whey protein bad to take?
           \_ You don't need any more protein. It all comes out your piss
              anyways.  Try fixing your sleep habits.
           \_ And you know this how?  Protein needs for athletes training
              10-15 hrs/wk is pretty high.  If you live off Smokehouse,
              you're right, but serious athletes should know better than that.
        \_ Creatine is already in your muscles; the supply of creatine in
           the muscles is normally used in high exertion scenarios and
           lasts for 1-2 seconds.  Ingesting additional creatine doesn't
           really help you any unless you're looking for very short bursts
           of energy, and even then it's not really proven to help.  I
           would ask you why you'd want to take creatine.  It isn't a
           panacea by any means.  -chaos
        \_ I would add that you must accept that any real change in
           your body will require long term effort and dedication
           and there is no quick fix.  All the supplements have one thing
           in common, they are to be used in addition to exercise and
           good diet.  -ax
           \_ so how long did it take you to go from whimpy biker tom
              physique to ax superman physique?
                   \_ The absolute limits most people hit are:
                        20 lbs of muscle the first year you have ever
                        worked out.  6 lbs per year after that until
                        you plateau.  It was about 6 years of working
                        out to go from 145 lbs to 190.  And in the last
                        ten years, I've only added 20 lbs.  -ax

8/15    "In what is present-day Thailand, they were thrilled to discover
        that the local men were happy to allow their wives to entertain
        and even sleep with the visitors.":
        http://www.time.com/time/asia/features/journey2001
        \_ post a more specific url please... it's not on the cover page

7/10    Men become obsolete:
        http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/nm/20010710/hl/sperm_1.html
        \_ did a woman post this?
        \_ remember that women outnumber men. Therefore, they have
           "majority".
           Prepare for all men to now be voted into ghettos in the US.
           \_ Women won't take over the world. Dolphins will. Either
              that or a couple of lab rats.
              \_ My vote is for the cockroach.
           \_ The rights of the one outweigh the rights of the many
              in this country. Thank god we are not a democracy.
           \_ I knew the 19th Amendment was a bad idea
              \_ After that, in the first election women get to vote, they
                 help elect arguably the worst president of all time - Warren
                 G Harding, who had the first cabinet officer convicted of
                 a felony while in office. Poll after poll rate him as the worst
           \_ Gimme a fuckin' break.  I'm so sick of hearing about men
              acting like a bunch of whiny victims.
                \_ Excuse me woman? That's because you and your race
                   have made it all but a felony to even look at a girl
                   improperly. So stop YOUR whining; we gave you what you
                   wanted.
                   \_ Women complain when we look at them, but they complain
                      even more when we don't look at them.
                \_ http://www.kirbyinwood.com
                   and that's another warning!
        \_ where is /etc/motd.authenticated?
           \_ In my pants. -geordan
              \_ Ah.  No wonder no one can find it.
              \_ Well, pull it out and share. Stop sitting on it.

7/9     Any adverse side-effects of taking viagra when I don't have
        real erectile problems?
        \_ if you want to take viagra, and you have no erectile problems,
           you are already having adverse effects from something else(you're
           dumb).
        \_ medical advice on soda?  moo. --chris
        \_ It can give sinusitis, migraines, tonsilitis. That's about
           it, really. [ This message edited for grammar and readability
           - motd grammar and readability god ]
           \_ how about high blood pressure, stroke?
             \_ Never heard of that. Viagra is a vase-dilator, not a vase-
                constrictor. That is, it expands your blood vessels. No high
                blood pressure problems there.
                \_ people who are on high blood pressure medication
                   shouldn't take viagra as it can lower your blood
                   pressure to dangerously low levels; this is probably
                   what the above poster was wondering about
        \_ symptoms include excessive motd posting and inappropriate
           self abuse

6/20    Let's say I workout every other day and I've gotten 1.2X more buff
        than before. How long would it take for me to atrophy back to 1.0X
        if I don't work out afterwards?
        \_ I remember my trainer mentioning that one loses 10% of muscle
           mass per week without exercise.  -chris
           \_ wow it's amazing i can walk at all!
           \_ true only if you are using steroids
              \_ All I hear are the squeaky voices of girly men.
           \_ I heard it was 10% per YEAR if you're 25 or older.
              \_ So if I work out for a year, it'll take me 10 years to
                 atrophy back to where I started?  This is just wrong.
        \_ The most reasonable answer I've heard in that case is that
           it takes the same amount of time to lose muscle as to add it.  -ax
           \_ so how long did it take you to buff up? You look sexy on
              your web site.                    -ax #1 fan
        \_ I think it depends.  If you are completely sedentary and you
           don't eat much it comes off pretty fast.  If you eat enough and
           keep at least a little active it takes much longer.  Also, even
           really short workouts (say 10-15 minutes a few times a week) are
           enough to drastically slow down or stop the loss.

5/9     The X-Men are coming soon!  Mutant kids everywhere!
        http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,3604,487857,00.html

5/7     Ideal penis size poll:
        shorter than my own size: .
        my size:         ...
        some other size:
        \_ How do people measure penis size? Measure the top side, or
           measure from the tip to the beginning or the scrotum? Or
           average the two? How do you take into account the curvature?
           \_ However you can get the biggest measurement. Also, every
              one else's dick is shorter than yours because they cheat
              in the measurement and then lie about it.
              \_ No.  They just lie about it.  Their Ex-gf's don't.

4/27    In workouts, why are free weights better than machines even if I'm
        using the same weight?
        \_ More muscle groups are brought into play controlling the weights,
           and you have MUCH more control which muscles get worked.  With
           machines, since the movement is completely static, you have to get
           really creative to hit some of the more obscure muscles.  Also,
           if you're a muscle-bound moose, you can generally get higher
           weights on free weights, whereas most machines run out at around
           250-300 pounds.  -mice
        \_ Because free weights give you the widest range of motion possible;
           that you are not limited only by the mechanics of the machines.
           Which is why folks using free weights are more prone to injury, if
           they're not careful in picking the correct weight. They often
           forget to take into account gravity, free weights going anywhere
           they please while in your hands, etc. Most novice are encouraged
           to start with machines first beore graduating into free weights
           starting out light. - jthoms
           \_ But don't machines offer more variations in resistsnce?
              Resistance from free weights only goes one direction (downward)
              and is constant.  Resistance from a machine can follow
              a curved path like on a chest machine which you bring two handles
              from left and right together at the front.  And the amount of
              resistance can vary according to the shape of the pulley guiding
              the wires, e.g. eclipse shape.  I'm new to weight training BTW.
              resistance can vary along the path according to the shape of the
              pulleys guiding the wires, e.g. eclipse shape.  I'm new to weight
              training BTW.
                \_ You're correct that machines offer more var. in resistance.
                   I personally use both machines and free weights as I am
                   slowly graduating to free weights myself. What people
                   mean by free weights are "better" is because not only they
                   bulk up your muscles, but also they train your muscles to
                   be more alert and flexible. Free weights are closer to
                   everyday application than machines. I don't know the exact
                   scientific expl. but that's the closest I can think of.
                   Also, what avid gym-freaks usually do is use free weights
                   to "puff up"/sculpt their muscles with slow repetitions on
                   one day and use the machines to define/tone their newly
                   build muscles with fast repetitions. Those men with ripped
                   muscles can't get what they have by using machines alone.
                   But if you're just doing weights to tone yourself, machines
                   should do the trick. Have a great workout. - jthoms
                   \_ So do you mean machines alone can't bulk up my muscles?
                      Gee, I think I've wasted all that time I spent on those
                      machines.
                \_ I have seen some very big people who use only machines, so
                   those men with ripped muscles _can_ get what they have with
                   just machines.  Machines and LOTS of steroids...
                   That said, a good reason to use free weights is to work
                   all of the little stabilizer muscles that aren't used as
                   much with machines.  Another is that machines usually
                   add friction to the exercise, usually making the positive
                   (contracting) part harder and the negative part easier,
                   which is the opposite of what you want.  There are many
                   other reasons that you can come up with (free weights
                   allow you to cheat a little more, for example), but I think
                   it's mostly a matter of personal preference
        \_ I'd go with free weights. I was using this bench press machine
           (like a standard bench press machine except with a harness), but
           never really gained any strength (ie, never moved up in resistence).
           Then I switched to dumbbells. I've increased the weights I can do by
           20 pounds (each arm) in just over a month, exceeding what I could
           do on the machine.
           \_ I agree with the recommendation.  I don't think that machines
              prevent you from getting stronger, but I think that it's easier
              to push yourself with free weights.  However, I think that the
              comparison above is faulty.  There is not a simple linear
              relationship between the weight you can use on a machine and
              what you can use with free weights.  Also, when you switch
              exercises (from machine to dumbells) you tend to gain strength
              more quickly than normal as your body and mind adjust to the
              new exercise.

4/26    house passes bill defining fetuses as people. what's next,
        sperm is "potential people" and jacking off is a federal crime?
        \_ too much gov intervention on people life is a dangerous thing.
           besides we should be concerned with over population.
        \_ http://www.tennessean.com/sii/99/09/07/fetus07.shtml
           21 week old fetus reaches out and grabs doctor's hand.
           \_ what is a "medical ethicist"? hi there, i'm a medical ethicist.
              as opposed to a diesel engine ethicist. what i say goes.
           \_ I thought the picture was interesting.
        \_ Yes!  Excellent!  *Now* young troll, you have walked across the
           rice paper without leaving a mark!  I'm so proud of you!  -papatroll
           \_ thanks, dad. now i must seek revenge against the evil red trolls.
        \_ Yeah.  Millions of potential murders.   You horrible mocking
           unbeliever, you!  Uhm, Die now or something.
        \_ sperm does not have the full genetic code to make a unique
           human being.
           \_ So is masturbation a half murder?  Potential murder?  Maybe an
              attempted murder?
              \_ think boolean operation.  sperm by itself or an egg by itself
                does not activate human life threshold function.  0 or 1.
                \_ okay, what if I take a bunch of sperm and eggs, and mix
                   them around in a solution so that I get a thousand little
                   2-cell fetuses, and then flush it down the toilet. did
                   i just kill thousands of people?
                  \_ so when does human life start for you?
                    \_ so why do you only answer with another question?
                        \_ answering without proper context would not be
                           a good idea.  A larger view of things would be better.
                           So when does human life start in your view?
                           \_ what does my opinion have to do with yours?
                              \_ the question to resolve is when life
                                 starts.  I want to get the other point of view
                                 too to be able to properly contrast the two.
                                 \_ i asked whether the sperm egg thing would
                                    be killing, not for a compare/contrast.
        \_ We're finally taking our nation back!!!      -NRA supporter
           \_ Uh, you're mixing your politics up.  The NRA has nothing to do
              with abortion.
              \_ When sperm is outlawed, only outlaws will have sperm.
                 \_ i have more sperm than i need, but not as much as i want.
        \_ if sperm is "potential people" then I practice genocide on a
           daily basis
           \_ sperm and fetus are completely different things...
        \_ they are people, human, but are they US citizens?
           \_ Probably not, since they are not (yet) born in the US.
                 pills", on the other hand, kill fertilized eggs.  E.g. RU401.
              \_ Interesting point. Its is not clear that the "equal
                 protection" clause would apply to unborn children.
                 But it is still murder, since killing a non-citizen
                 is the same as killing a citizen.
                 \_ why do you care if some fetus is aborted? i can
                    see why the mother cares, but why should you?
                    it's none of your damn business. what justification
                    do you have for considering a fetus a person?
                    the bible certainly doesn't. a fetus doesn't
                    breathe air. it is physically integrated into the
                    mom's body, sharing her bloodstream. damned if
                    the government has jurisdiction over the inside
                    of someone's body. A uterus is not US territory.
                    \_ I'm pro-choice, however, I do care if other people are
                       killing other third parties I don't know.  Your logic
                       doesn't follow cleanly on that point.
                    \_ why should you care about Jane Doe or John Doe
                       being murdered elsewhere?
                       \_ because they're human beings.
                          \_ so are those in the womb.  When does human life
                             start relative to conception? 9 months?
                             12 months?  when?
                             \_ Life begins at birth, however, you're not a
                                real person until around age 8 or so (it varies)
                                at which point you are capable of feeling for
                                others.  Once you can feel for others, you
                                become human and not just some animal on two
                                legs.  Yes, this logically leads to post-natal
                                abortions.  And why not?
                                \_ 8 years?  Yes!  If my 5 year old kid is
                                   bratty, I have a right to kill him/her!
                                   That would be so cool!
                             \_ a person's life begins when they're *born*.
                                duh. that's the standard by which society
                                has always judged these things. that's
                                why we celebrate birthdays, not conceptiondays.
                                why do you have to try to use your limited
                                medical knowledge to complicate things? what's
                                wrong with the obvious definition?
                                do you want us to start putting fetal tissue
                                in graves, and have church gatherings for it,
                                and put who knows what on the headstone?
                                \_ so you would support killing a "baby"
                                   20 seconds before it is to be born
                                   (such as 1 second before 9 months)?
                                   \_ irrelevant. i don't *support*
                                      killing anything, fetuses included.
                                      if a woman goes into contractions,
                                      and then kills the baby, jeez
                                      you're reaching. but if there's a
                                      line to be drawn it should be
                                      sensible, like third trimester.
                                      \_ what's the point in protecting
                                         fetuses if it isn't human life
                                         and human life begins at a birthday?
                                         How dare you infringe on the rights
                                         of women who just so happen to have
                                         a bunch of cells in them.  There
                                         is no point protecting those cells.
        \_ just consider this thought experiment. we have the ability
           to produce test tube babies. so imagine a timed apparatus
           containing egg and sperm, set to begin the conception at
           12 midnight. then the janitor knocks it over. is that murder?
           if not, why not? a fetus is a bunch of cells that will grow
           into a baby. so is that egg and sperm, in that apparatus.
           now replace that apparatus with a guy and girl. oh shit,
           by not fucking each other they're murdering a potential baby!
           \_ I believe this is called a "slippery slope argument" or
              "argument from the heap", but I don't remember which.  It's
              a common fallacy.  Basically you are saying the gov't
              arbitrarily drew a sharp line dividing A and B.  However,
              A is to B as B is to C and B is to C as C is to D.  Therefore
              since A is illegal and that is pretty  much the same as D,
              then D should be illegal.  Since making D illegal would be
              absurd you conclude that making A illegal is also absurd.
              Killing a person is illegal so since smart animals are similiar
              to people killing them should be illegal too.  Also since
              dumb animals are similiar to smart animals, killing them
              should be illegal.  Insects are basically dumb animals
              so killing insects should be illegal.  But making the
              killing of insects illegal is absurd so making murder
              illegal is also absurd.  By the way, I'm not pro-life,
              I'm just pointing out that your argument is flawed. -emin
              \_ i disagree. because there is a huge difference between
                 a seperate living organism (baby) and the organic parts
                 inside a mother that _can_ produce a baby.
              \_ emin, i know the answer to this point and it's not one
                 that should be discussed right now, because we need to
                 talk about other things. -lotfi zadeh.
                 \_ That makes me very curious.  What is the answer?
                 \_ Hah, hah, very funny, really.  I didn't know other
                    sodans were at Zadeh's talk on Tuesday. -emin
                    \_ i was there, wasn't it? -lotfi zadeh.
        \_ what's the definition of a fetus? 4 weeks after conception?
                \_ okay, what if I take a bunch of sperm and eggs, and mix
                   them around in a solution so that I get a thousand little
                   2-cell fetuses, and then flush it down the toilet. did
                   i just kill thousands of people?
           2 weeks after embryo?
           \_ defined as ``a member of the species Homo sapiens, at any stage
              of development, who is carried in the womb''
           \_ so will this make using oral birth control illegal, since
              those are fertilized eggs being flushed away?
              \_ The common female birth control pills don't kill fertilized
                 eggs. They prevent eggs from being produced.  "Morning-after
                 pills", on the other hand, kill fertilized eggs.  E.g. RU-486.
                 \_ Bzzt.  Wrong.  on both counts.  birth control pills
                    prevent fertilized eggs from attaching to the uterine
                    wall.  RU486 causes the uterine wall to slough away,
                    thereby ending the pregnancy.  Get a fucking clue.
                    \_ Actually, it looks like we both are right about the
                       common pills.  Plus they also prevent eggs from being
                       fertilized.  See
                       http://www.plannedparenthood.org/bc/YOU_AND_PILL.HTM#Basics
        \_ I think it's not the government's business.  I support the
           mom-is-god until baby is given birth position.  The bond
           between mom and fetus is unique, and mom has to take all
           responsibilities for it.
           \_ i fully agree. an unborn fetus is not a person. it is not a
              citizen of any country. hence, if the mother kills her own
              fetus it's nobody else's business. if someone else kills it
              or damages it against her will, that's another matter, but
              we're protecting the mother's rights and not the damn fetus.
           \_ Mom is not always god, because not all moms are good. Consider
              moms that want to kill thier kids. Bad mothers. Murders.
              \_ I agree, but God has given mom and unborn kid a unique bond,
                 and has given mom the full responsibility (including guilt)
                 for the unborn kid.  Attempts for the clumsy government to
                 intervene will only backfire and make things worse.
              \_ not all gods are good either.  so?
        \_ let us take a baby inside the womb about to be born.  Lets take
           it partially out.  Lets kill it.  Legal in the U.S.  What's the
           difference between a baby halfway out of the womb and a baby
           outside the womb in terms of being "human", or having the act
           be "legal".
        \_ what if the woman miscarries the fetus?  should woman be charged
           with involuntary manslaughter?
           \_ No, miscarriage is not the same a murder (or what you refer
              to as abortion). A induced miscarriage would be murder though.
              \_ You missed his/her point.  If I accidentally ran someone down
                 with my car, killing him, I'm charged with involuntary
                 manslaughter, even though I clearly didn't mean to hit the
                 person.  The poster is trying to stretch that to miscarriage
                 \_ it's not a stretch. what if the mom crashes her car and
                    the resulting injury causes a miscarriage? hmmmm?
                    \_ Well, I didn't use the word "stretch" in that I
                       disagreed with him (I'm undecided actually).  But it
                       is a valid question, imho.
                \_ the idea is "intent" or negligence.
                 \_ What if a pregnant woman goes to see a movie rated NC17?
                    Since her fetus is a "human being", wouldn't she be
                    violating some rules about bringing children there?
                    Can a pregnant woman be sued for child abuse if she
                    smokes or drinks (good Republican values) while
                    pregnant, since the House republicans are calling
                    the fetus a human being?

3/12    Penis.  Cut or uncut?  Sue if you're not happy.
        http://more.abcnews.go.com/sections/gma/goodmorningamerica/gma010207circumcision_suit.html
        Note the high quality "study" his lawsuit is depending on.
        \_ get over your dicks already.  --chris
           \_ ari has Jewish penis.
           \_ Show your support by beheading your clitoris.
           \_ get off my dick.  -tjb
              \_ and get onto mine! --Moron
           \_ get off my dick.  -nweaver
           \_ A clear case of Freudian penis envy if ever there was one.
        \_ Why didn't he sue his mom instead?  Geez.
        \_ Sigh.  A new breed of blood sucking ambulance chasing lawyers that
           are even too lazy to chase ambulances.
           \_ Hi. My name's Mr. Hutz. I'll be your lawyer, bodyguard, and
              drug dealerrrr...keeper-awayer.

2/15   A new Canadian group called the Association for Genital Integrity
       has applied for public funding to launch a court challenge aimed at
       banning the circumcision of baby boys.
       http://www.nationalpost.com/home/story.html?f=/stories/20010212/472201.html
        \_ i support 'em. i had no say in the matter when my privates were cut.
        \_ MOTD poll:  are you happy that you were circumcised?
            circumcised and happy:          1
            circumcised and indifferent:    1
            circumcised and wish otherwise: 1
            female and circumcised:
            uncircumcised:                  2
            circumcised and happy:          4
            circumcised and indifferent:    2
            circumcised and wish otherwise: 2
            female and circumcised:         0
            \_ How?
                \_ It's a horrific "cultural practice" from parts of africa
                   and the middle east.  You don't want to know.
            uncircumcised:                  5
            \_ I love being able to choke it without needing vaseline.
                \_ You're grabbing too hard.  --cut and vaseline-free
            \_ we girls generally think uncircumcised penises are gross.
                \_ Then "we girls" generally must date guys who don't bother
                   to wash their johnsons when they shower.  Or who don't
                   shower.  This explains a lot.  -John
                \_ are uncircumcised vaginas gross?
                   \_ "Men and women are completely equal in all ways and
                       should always be treated as such no matter how wrong
                       and inappropriate due to the needs of the politically
                       correct".  Thank you for playing. Insert coin to
                      continue.
                \_ Is that because the guys with circumcised penises take
                   longer to ejacuate?
                   \_ actually i heard we cuttaz go off sooner because we get
                      more stimulation than da skinz
                      \_ Oh no, so it's better to be uncircumcised then.
                         \_ I heard the opposite.  I doubt it can be measured.
                         \_ uh, yeah that's what i meant. sucks eh? but we're
                            cleaner and stuff. anyway with "protection" it's
                            probably evened out.
                         \_ umm... wouldn't you WANT more sensation?  I vastly
                            prefer not having a condom on for that exact reason.
                            I guess if you had a serious problem and couldn't
                            just enjoy it without goin off, but I'd take
                            more sensation anytime, just control yourself, man.
                        \_ With foreskin, the skin of the head is a lot more
                           sensitive.  Think about the inside of your mouth;
                           that's how moist and warm it gets.  Without
                           foreskin, your head gets a little desensitized
                           by constant contact with and rubbing against
                           your dry clothing.
                   \_ Being circumcised is like having your accelerator
                      stuck to the floor.  Can you say premature?

            \_ My mom once told me (I'm serious) that if a boy's penis isn't
               circumcised, it can't grow to adult size as the boy grows.  Is
               it really true?  (I instead think that the only reason to get
               circumcision is that an uncircumcised penis is easy to trap
               dirt and get an infection.)
               \_ Bullshit.  I never got an infection.  I am not circumsized.
                  \_ What about your partner (if any)?  Is there no problem
                     of getting infection from your maybe-dirty foreskin
                     either?
                     \_ Not to my knowledge.  It's really a silly argument.
                        The female libia (and vagina as a whole) seem like
                        a far better home for bacteria anyways (warm, moist)
                        than a slab of flesh and blood vessels with a little
                        skin on top.
                        \_  beavis: dude! those two chicks are making out!
                            butthead:  yeah, I think those are some of those
                                        Libians or somenthing.
                            beavis: Libians are cool!
                        \_ "labia".  The pH of a healthy vagina retards
                           bacterial growth.  Go learn something.
                  \_ What about the growth question?  What's your experience?
                     Do you have normal size as an adult?
                        \_ Foreskin only covers the head, not the shaft.
                           It's like wearing a hood.  Does that stop growth?
               \_ If you take showers and wash yourself, there is no problem.
                  you only have a problem if you're a stupid dirty mofo who
                  doesn't wash every day. And in that case, you probably don't
                  have a partner anyway, and hell, it's better you're not
                  reproducing anyways. Don't need any more people like that.
                  \_ The idea is, "It is *easier* to keep clean if cut". This
                     does not mean that uncut men are dirty or cut men are
                     clean.  It means what it says and *only* what it says:
                     Cut is *easier* to keep clean.
                        \_ true. it's easier to keep one's ear clean
                           too if the outer part is cut off.
                           \_ Apples and oranges.  Insert coin to continue.
                        \_ It's not hard to clean dude.
                           \_ Let's try this again.  *EASIER*  *EASIER*
                              *EASIER* *EASIER *EASIER*.  No one said *hard*.
                              Say it to yourself 10 times: EASIER.  This means
                              "relative to an uncut man, a cut man has an
                              *EASIER* time keeping clean.  Got that finally?
                     \_ Possibility of complications resulting from cutting
                        process may outweigh the benefits of being easier
                        to clean, or so I read.
                        \_ And may not.
                     \_ Circumcision is a practice of muslims and christians.
                        Most other religions view it as disgusting practice.
                        - not circumsized
                        \_ you forgot the jews, where it all began.
                           \_ oh yes. only these heathen relgions practice
                              such forms of body mutilation.
                                \_ Heathen?  Damn, dude, put some tiny bit
                                   of effort into your smears.  Smart out at
                                   http://www.dictionary.com at least before using
                                   something more than 4 letters long.  They
                                   let you into Cal?
                                   \_ look up "sarcasm" on http://dictionary.com, moron
                                        \_ You can't cover your ignorance by
                                           claiming sarcasm after the fact.
            recently circumcised (ouch!):   1
                \_ hah!  sucker!  You do that for a jew chick?
        \_ what is the biological advantage of having foreskin?
           \_ It protects the penis from those slavering succubi.
              \_ Coo--..wait...that's an advantage???
           \_ we used to not wear clothes.  foreskin would prevent abrasions
              to the head.

2/15    Anyone have any suggestions for a good morphing program?  I want to
        morph some faces from a digital camera into Marilyn Monroe.
        \_ Stills or video?
           \_ stills.  I'd want it in steps, like @5%, or 1%. 10% is acceptable,
              too, but better resolution is preferred.
              \_ OS?  xmorph isn't great, and it's kinda a pain to use, but the
                 results look passable.
                 \_ It would be for Win9x.  Thanks.
                    \_ Free?  Probably not.. probably want something like
                       KPT.
             \_ Microsoft's DirectX SDK comes with a demo program that
                does this.
        \_ matlab. -ali
           \_ Matlab is for wimps.  Real men program their vector and matrix
              libraries in C or Fortran.
              \_ Real men are dumb enough not to use LAPACK?
        \_ you can try these, although I have no experience with any of them:
           BitMorph: http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/dmc27/bitmorph.html
           Morpheus: http://www2.gvsu.edu/~rubleyr/morpheus
           WinMorph: http://www.crosswinds.net/~sskr/winmorph

2/14    http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/updates2/lat_marry010214.htm
        (and you thought a 4:1 male-female ratio was limited only to
        tech corridors and EE departments.)

        "A mini-census conducted in 1995 showed that never-married men 20 to
        44 years old outnumbered their female counterparts by nearly 2 to 1.
        (Between the ages of 25 and 39, the ratio was 4 to 1.) ... 'If you
        have an area where men are up in the hills, on the periphery,
        growing old without women, these people have always become ... the
        raw material of rebellion in China,' said William Lavely, a visiting
        sociology professor at UCLA."
        \_ [censor's comments censored again] It's not my quote. I just
           don't like you and every other motd censor. So now I'm giving
           you a taste of your own medicine.
           \_ WTF is your problem?  YOU are the one censoring things.  YOU
              are the one removing quotes and text and comments from the motd.
              Fucking replace the original comment/entry because it was an
              accurate critique of the original motd entry, and gave a much
              more complete picture of what the article said and what the
              situation in china is.
        \_ The chickens are coming home to roost.
           \_ The alternative being...?  Mass starvation?
        \_ and for a different type of quote from the same article:
           "Where are you going to get extra females? Import women from other
            countries?" Banister said. "Only the most radical things could
            solve it, and nobody's suggesting those radical things, like women
            getting two husbands each."
        \_ Marry Russian women. I heard that Russia has more women than men
           cause the men drank too much vodka.
        \_ The solution is Christianity, and its anti-abortion stance will
           stop the parents from using ultrasound to abort female fetuses.

1/22    I've never kissed a guy with stubble before. How do you gays
        deal with stubble? -Confused Straight (for now) Guy
        \_ Stubble?  I deal with stubble by having stubble and shaving it
           when I get bored.  What's to "deal with" anyway?
        \_ You're not straight. If you think about being gay, you're not
           straight. You might not be gay either, but definitely not straight.
           \_ Yes, because identify the right label for what he is is
              so important...
                \_ Bored, well-fed idiot with a case of false angst?
        \_ enjoy the stubble.  or ask him to shave it.
        \_ stubble rash sucks major ass.  a guy must shave often enough
           not to cause me pain, or else he must grow a beard.  no matter
           how good the kissing is...
           \_ "sucks ass".  Ah, how eloquent.
              \_ *sigh*  You're STILL here?  Ass sucking is an integral
                 part of the motd.  Without it, an enormous portion of the
                 sodan lexicon would be eliminated, leaving us woefully
                 deficient in sufficiently expressive and colorful phrases.

1/1   Can we talk about that 8.5 inch penis again?  Motd is boring.
      \_ ~alexf/pub/re.txt
            \_ Assuming you're trying to show winners|weiners, wi[e|n]ners
               but alas, winers|wienners are not words  -whiner
               \_ 1). Look up "wiener" in a dictionary, moron
                  2). Read "man regex" for standard [abc] syntax
         \_ I asked for trolls on 8.5 inch penis, not some boring math
            bullshit.
         \_ um. i didn't post this here. but i suppose i'm touched that this
            is deemed sufficient replacement for 8.5-inch penis discussions.
            thanks guys. -alexf
                \_ Only on the motd....

11/30   You can have Erecto pills for 1/50th the price of a Viagra tablet.
        http://www.nytimes.com/2000/12/01/science/01PIRA.html

11/10   biology question:  I need to preserve some DNA that is
        not sperm.  Possibly for future generations to clone
        back to life.  It's not mine.  How do I preserve it?
        Brainstorming welcome.     -brain
        \_ uuuh... nevermind.  I don't want to know.
        \_ Is it human?
        \_ put it in the stomach of a live nude mosquito then encase said
           mosquito in amber. - tpc
        \_ Get some tissue samples and freeze them.  Still, this probably
           won't work:  it'd be rather hard to extract a good set of
           DNA from the mess that will result when it melts.  It might
           be possible, though.  I doubt you could do this alternative:
           get tissue samples and maintain them at .01C.  Furthermore,
           for cloning purposes, not all cells are created equal.  Dolly
           was cloned from a mammary cell, if I remember right.  You could
           also try to keep a sample alive in a succession of petri dishes.
           No telling *what* bizarre mutant would occur after 50+ years in
           a petri dish.
           \_ cloning a bacteria?

10/27   Ok, we all know that men who drive big SUVs typically have small
        penises.  Does the same holds for men who own big guns?  They need
        to feel big and powerful by driving big cars and owning big weapons.
        True?
        \_ Please prove your contention that big SUV == small penis
                \_ Well, he _said_ "we all know".  Therefore....
                   \_ We don't all know this. Case and point,
                      his comment doesn't apply to me.
        \_ Do the women who drive SUV's also have small penises?
           \_ Yes, they require 2 double-A batteries; the D-battery dildos
              are just a little much. -yersister
           \_ Yes, they are 2 double-A batteries; the D-batteries as dildos
              are just a little much.
              \_ You sound like you speak from experience, good CSUAer!
        \_ The RIGHT to keep and bear arms has nothing to do with owning guns.
           This RIGHT is designed to guarentee that we are able to preserve
           our FREEDOM.
           \_ This just screams "wingnut" to me.
                \_ This just screams "moron who never read the 2nd amendment
                   but has a worthless opinion anyway" to me, but fortunately
                   for you, this is the U.S. where you still have the right
                   to be wrong and proclaim it loudly.

10/26   http://www.nytimes.com/2000/10/26/science/26HEAR.html
        Portable defibrillators and casinos!

10/20   Screw Gore and Bush and especially Pat. Vote Quimby
        http://www.quimby2000.com
        \_ I'm voting Vader: <DEAD>www.vaderfor2000.org<DEAD>
        \_ Well, look at how cool you are you hedonistic pinkhaired
           shitkitten. God forbid should you have an original thought lest
           in a somewhat related fit of your disrobed, impotent wisdom
           you take to trollying in public your hamster-shaming gonads
           with your ridiculeworthy genetalia as your mindless little
           heart bleeds amidst my laughter to the current of your own
           excretions... smeltsucking infantfelcher. - (fucker)
           \_ Welcome back. We've missed you.

9/17    Asian guys - tired of Asian princesses only interested in
        Viagra needing white dick? http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/4732
        \_ "Asian Male almost wins WF away from her WM date!"
        \_ They're not interested in white dick. They want
           white {power/money/xyz}
        \_ Just curious, do all white guys like asian chicks more
           than white chicks? I used to think this was true, looking
           at all the WM/AF couples in berkeley. But i was told by
           one of my best friends, a korean male, that only
           a small subset of whites actively look for asian girls only.
                \_ What constitutes this as a troll?
           \_ you MUST be trolling here. -ulysses
                \_ LMAO. You're a 'tard.
                   \_ ^^, ^^^^^^^^^^^^ : Pot/kettle/black.
                   Just thinking this constitutes a troll shows
                   that you're insecure about your asian fetish,
                   as if this was some form of attack on your yellow fever.
                \_ do you like Asian princesses?
              \_ No one likes white chicks. Not Asians, not whites, not
                 anyone. Eventhough they suck.
                 \_ Frat boys of all races seem to like white chicks...
                    \_ Frat boys of all races like chicks of all species...

8/3     If heterosexual men yearn for young girls, do gay men yearn
        for young boys? Or is it the opposite? (+ + = +, + - = -, etc?)
        \_ yes , they do. Which is why we need to keep our children away
           from gay sports instructors and boy scout leaders.
           \_ and priests.
        \_ if the mult rule applies, +*+=+, -*-=+, +*-=+, and you apply the
           rule of inference, then, yes, gay men yearn for old men.
           \_ What?  "+*-=+"?
        \_ speak for yourself, reiffin.  -tom
                \_ learn to format, tom. Bad formatting corrected.

7/25    I recently just finished up a string of relations with white guys.
        I'm an Asian female looking for financial stability and family
        values.  Should I stick with middle class hillbillies, or should
        I go for insecure rice boys with small penis?  Or maybe I should
        go for girls?
        \_ insecure rice boys with small penis.
        \_ Is 6" regular or small?
           \_ Spicy crispy.

7/24    My penis is too long
        \_ Thanks for cutting the length of the motd.  Now please help
           this poor sap.

6/29    Why does a penis swell during a blowjob?  I don't understand the
        benefit or the method (ie, how the penis suddenly becomes sensitive
        to the tongue?)
        \_ blood. neurons.
        \_ the blowjob
        \_ Neurotransmitters mislead the primative unevolved parts
           of your brain ito thinking that you are about to reproduce.

6/29    Why do muscles swell during a workout? I don't understand the benefit
        or the method (ie, how do the cells suddenly become hypertonic to the
        rest of the body?)
        \_ besides "looking good", what are some actual physiological
           benefit of working out? Wouldn't aerobic excercise be better than
                is the pump.  Your muscles get filled with blood." -Arnold
           just pumping out?
           \_ there is no benefit to being a pumped up monster.  however,
              being in good cardiovascular condition and being generally
              toned and strong is just good health.
           \_ Well, what do you mean by "better"?  If you're trying to lose
              weight, doing both is good, because the more muscle mass you
              have, the more calories your body's burning just sitting
              around doing nothing.  Cardiovascular exercise itself actually
              burns more calories while you're doing it, of course.
           \_ In some sports such as football and basketball being big
              and strong can be a significant advantage.  Also, being big
              helps prevent injury (assuming you don't lose flexibility).
                \_ The blood does go to your muscles, which leaves less in
                   your veins.  Your body compensates by adding water to your
                   bloodstream, which can cause you to get incredibly thirsty
              Finally, if you're scrawny people tend to pick on you, while
              if you're buff, everyone acts friendly.  Once you finish
              high school this isn't as big a deal, though.
              \_ Only if you goto a nerdy school like cal surrounded by
                 nerds. Otherwise at other schools, it's almost the same
                 (except you dont get physically picked on).
                 After that, it's almost the opposite. The big hulking
                 guys cant get a good job, but the scrawy ones with brains
                 do an IPO and get rich and then everyone acts friendly.
                 \_ Keep dreaming, wimp.

        \_ blood
                \_ "The first thing you notice when you begin to work out
                    is the pump.  Your penis get filled with blood." -Arnold
                \_ The blood does go to your penis, which leaves less in
                   your brain.  Your body compensates by adding water to your
                   bloodstream, which can cause you to get incredibly horny
                   very quickly.
        \_ when you work out, you use up oxygen more as respiration process
             to produce ATP.  Most likely, when the oxygen level of your
             blood stream lowers, a negative feedback pathway will
             increase the heart beat rate to pump more blood (thus
             oxygen) into the circulatory path way.

6/8     motd {tr|p}oll: how many women shave "down there"?
        yes: 0
        no: 0
        \_  What about the men?
                \_ Men who shave "down there":
                   yes: 2
                   no: 0
                   pluck: 1
                   \_ Once in a while: 1
        \_ Any of you shaving to look longer?
           \_ How in the world would it look longer if you shaved it.
              \_ On some of us hairier bastards, it grows up the shaft a bit.
                \_ So what?
                  \_ it feels smoother when your shaft is bare.
           \_ Women don't care how long you are.
              \_ How short is your's?
                \_ I don't have one.  How stinky is yours?
                   \_ Hmm... lemme check.  Pretty stinky.  And yours?
                        \_ Go clean up and come back.
        \_ it's sexy for the first couple of days.  she liked it when i dined
           down south.
          \_ I won't dine down south unless it's shaved. Nothing worse than
              a mouthful of hair.
                \_ you don't need to shave for that.  but an occasional
                   trim is good, for men and women.
                   \_ can I get this done at super cuts?
                      \_ make sure to inquire about the latest styles, too
                        \_ Completely smooth.  What other style is there?
                           \_ Ugh. That's SO last week! NOBODY who is ANYBODY
                              does SMOOTH any more!
                           \_ The "mohawk" is in...
                                \_ This isn't about being on parade.  It's
                                   about sex.  Raw hot sex is always in style.
                                   Smoother = better sex.  A Brazilian cut is
                                   worthless for that.
                    \_ trims are easy.  Just get a scissors and start whacking.
                       \_ I've never seen two boys do so much whacking.
        \_ itch. my gf tried it, and she said it itched.
         \_ it'll itch when the stubble starts growing, and it won't be
            comfortable for you either.
          \_ She's supposed to get waxed and keep waxing.  Shaving is for
             stupid ninnies who don't know what they're doing.
             \_ nair works well if you're not going for completely bald
                \_ how about the sugar technique. i heard you can make your
                   own solution by mixing sugar with water and lemon juice.
                   how do you know what proportions to mix things in?
                \_ Gotta be careful though.  It'll burn if it touches anything
                   too 'sensitive'.  I suggest not.  Go get waxed.  They've
                   seen/done it a million times.  It's pretty common.
        \_ JUST FUCKING WRITE DOWN THE NUMBER. DON'T FUCKING WANT TO HEAR
           YOUR DAMN COMMENTS (pussy shaver)
                \_ Ninny.  Get waxed and count 'em.  Those are the smooth
                   pussies you're looking for.  Go eat stubble.

12/21   So I'm looking for Logo information -- I go to bh's Web page, and just
        below his photo is a link inviting me to "Take a look at my son Heath."
        NO WAY!!!  bh actually found a female to get intimate with him?
        Is/was bh married?  Or is this some kind of weird I-hate-my-family-so-
        I'll-pick-a-new-one thing like benco and his "fathers" Allman and
        McKusick?
        \_ he adopted a 12 year old boy.  single parent. unmarried.
                        \_ no, 11
             \_ Some morons let that total bug eyed freak get his molestor's
                dirty fat little paws on a helpless child which he promptly
                posted pictures of on the net?  WTF is this country coming to?
                Next, they'll let queers marry.
                \_ You obviously don't know BH personally. So quit trolling.
                   FYI, there's no law (or reason) against posting your kids'
                   pictures on the net, he wanted a kid for nearly a decade,
                   and had to put up with the social service system (which is
                   ridiculously biased against men) for that long, and has
                   a master's in clinical psychology to show for the statement
                   that he's capable of caring for the kid properly.
                   \_ Oh yeah, I went to school so I must know all about kids!
                      You're so completely clueless and dense.  There's a very
                      good reason they don't give children to unmarried men.
                      The only shock is that they let freakoid have one after
                      *any* number of years of trying.  Normal people who want
                      kids try out this thing called "marriage" and they "have
                      sex" and "procreate".  Try it sometime... or in your
                      case, please don't.  The gene pool is sufficiently
                      polluted.
                      \_ I agree. Lezbo "couple" adoptions and sperm
                         inseminations should be banned by law.

12/18   We're in Thailand!  We found an internet cafe!  We're living in
        an alley!  No kidding!   -raytrace, brain
        \_ Jokes, like whores, age quickly.
        \_ Yawn.
        \_ internet cafes are pretty common in tourist areas. I was in
           Koh Samui last year which isn't too highly developed like Phuket.
           There were several combo Internet/long distance/laundry/currency
           shops. --vchang
        \_ Is the movie "Anna and the King" showing there?  How much of the
           story is real history?
        \_ Is the movie "Anna and the King" being shown there?  How much of
           the story is real history?
                \_ the horny king slept with Anna, but because we're in
                   Hollywood/Broadway, we can only show white men w/Asian chix
                   \_ Not in "Dragon: The Bruce Lee story"
                   \_ Really?  In one of the Don Wilson's movies, Don, acting
                      as a Chinese-American doctor, slept with the sister of
                   \_ Really?  In one of Don Wilson's movies, Don, acting as
                      a Chinese-American doctor, slept with the sister of
                      his white opponent.
                   \_ that wouldn't be don "the dragon" wilson would it?
                      i can't ever stop laughing about this one character
                      who proposes to stop a gang feud by using "thai-style
                      boxing", meaning rope wristbands with chunks of glass,
                        \_ in The Lover a studly asian male plays hide the salami
                           with a much younger white chic
                      in a private match.
                      \_ Yes, it's indeed Don "the Dragon" Wilson as the
                         doctor.  The character you're laughing about is the
                         doctor's cousin.  I don't know the name of the actor
                         though.
                      \_ "Racism, blah, anti-asian, blah, anti-whatever, blah,
                       Political Correctness, blah, thought control, blah, no
                       free speech for people who don't agree with me, blah,
                       blah, blah, blah, blah, noise, stupidity, blah".
                        \_ in The Lover a studly asian male plays hide the
                           salami  with a much younger white chic
                           \_ read "14" (12?)
                              Portrayed by Jane March. sexy. Not her visually,
                              the whole way they did some scenes.
                              And dude, learn about 80 columns. I fixed your
                              problem. Supposedly autobiographical, by
                              ... "Maureen Dumas"? Marguerite Duras?
                           \_ Can't find "The Lover" in http://www.imdb.com
                              \_ thats cause its got "Lover" in the title
                        http://www.eonline.com/Facts/Movies/0,60,28411,00.html
                        It was a bitch to find. Also,
                        http://www.jane-march.com
                      \_ Neither Don Wilson's movie or The Lover are popular
                         or are of Hollywood/Broadway quality.
                         \_ "Hollywood quality" is rather oxymoronic.

9/16    What's the best way to lose the fat that accumulates around your
        lower abdomen? (results of a desk job)  I've been doing a lot of
        sit-ups but they don't seem to be working.  Except for this ring of
        fat, I'm pretty fit otherwise.  I heard that after a man reaches
        a certain age, there is just no way to get rid of that through
        exercise, no liposuction.  Is that true?  Thanks.
        \_ Use ssh instead of rsh.
           energy, fat from all over your body gets used, not just in
        \_ You can't spot train fat like you can muscle.  If you expend
           the area where your muscles are working.  Doing situps will
           \_ so your answer is?  Just do plain exercise and hope that the
              fat around your abs goes away?
           just increase the muscle density in your abs.
        \_ a lot of it collects around the sides. So you have to do things
            that work the "obliques", I guess. eg: twisty situps?
           diligently. Do a lot of crunches, but don't only do crunches.
           Watch your diet as well. I've seen people get rid of it, but
           you must be patient. It seems to take 1-2 years of serious
           training to be rid of it. By that time, the rest of you is
        \_ You can get rid of it, but it's difficult. You need to work out
        \_ How much is your ref. bonus?
           very lean and muscular, too. Consider it an added bonus. --dim
        \_If you train seriously, it won't take 1-2 years. Probably 12-16
          weeks. But it also means keeping a pretty strict diet. I.e. no
        \_If you train seriously, it won't take 1-2 years. Probably 12-16
                \-resistance training buiilding muscles + protein fuel
          donuts, chips, soda, jack-in-the-box, etc
                builds muscles. you lose fat by extercising and dieting.
                these are two different programs. --psb
          donuts, chips, soda, jack-in-the-box, etc
          \_ I guess it depends on how fat the person is to begin with. I
             \_ I guess my wife is a man then. her thighs are fine, but
                she has a tractor tire around her gut.
             I know two people who did it. The
             think 12-16 weeks is very optimistic, though. That is the
             hardest place for many men to lose weight. It's akin to
             thighs/hips for women. I know two people who did it. The
             first one did it in one year by working out rigorously. The
             thighs/hips for women.
             other person adopted a less rigorous approach and it took
             think 12-16 weeks is very optimistic, though. That is the
        \_ Wanna get rid of 20 lbs of ugly fat real fast?  Go in for a
           decapitation.
        \_ Fat Whacker!
             longer. It's anecdotal evidence, of course, so YMMV. --dim
        \_ RIDE BIKE
        \_ Bless you! Lynx with SSL rocks.
           \_ SMACK!!!!!!

3/18    Is there an operation that can straighten my penis?
        \_ Open a porno mag.
        \_ i've got a big hammer
        \_ sure.  check out http://www.barron-centers.com/html/size4.html
        \_ use your other hand.
        \_ I've got a very small hammer.

12/16   This probably starts another flame war, but what's the difference
        between a penis pump for pleasure and a pump that is a so-called
        "penis enlargement system"?

5/5    Is it true that Viagra:
        1) Makes men who are not impotent "harder"
                \_ If you're not impotent, how much harder could you get?
        2) Causes women to become aroused when they take it?
                \_ I think this is from "relief".

1/20    What the fuck is Nasa wasting money sending John Glenn
        into the orbit again?
        \_ To study the effect of old men having heart attack in space?
        \_ To see how much more sex urge an old man has in space?
        \_ Give it to me!  Give it to me!
           \_ the money or John Glenn?
                \_ The heart attack.

8/17    Favorite movie line of all time:
        "You have chosen... poorly."
        \_I am a doctor and know little Kung Fu.
        \_ "MORTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL KOMBAAAAAAAT!!!!!!"
        \_ "You're goin' down!"
        \_ "I am de cleaner."
        \_ "To clush your enemies, drive dem before you, and
            hear the lamentation of der vemon."
        \_ "Did you eat the penis?"
        \_ "Go ahead!  Squeal like a pig, boy!"
        \_ "I am Serpentor!  This I command!"
        \_ Um, wasn't it "He chose... poorly."? Cuz wasn't that knight
           talking to Indy?
          \_ oops, you're right.  I knew someone would correct that. thanks.
        \_ "I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way!"
         \_ "Your fu is weak, you must train harder if you ever expect
             to defeat the Manchus."  or something close --oj
        \_ "I have suffered from the poisonous juice to master the
            invincible kung fu!"
        \_ "You must listen to the grasshopper at your feet"
        \_ "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh "
        \_ "Go away, you Arthur King, you. I fart in your general
            direction"
        \_ "What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
        \_ "Laugh it up, fuzzball."
        \_ "Hhello.  My name is Inigo Montoya.  You kill' my father.
            Prepare to die."                        ^^^^^
                                                    \_ got smth against
                                                        the past tense?
                                                        \_ that's how he
                                                           says it, wasn't it?
                                                           \_ no.
                                                              \_ when he's
                                                                 describing his
                                                                 plans to the
                                                                 MiB, it is.
        \_ "What!!  What will come out no more?!"
        \_ "Is this a test to see whether I'm a replicant, or a
            lesbian, Mr. Deckard?"
        \_  Mr Worf; Fire.
        \_ I AM ZARDOZ, THE DESTROYER
           \_ The gun is good.  The penis is evil.
        \_ "A repo man's life is always intense"
        \_ "You do a lot of stumping back in the hippie days?"
        \_ "Ho Ho Ho.....We meet again Jesus"
           \_ Better yet: "Dude, don't say pigfucker in front of Jesus."
              \_ Ignorant fools.  "You're such a fat fuck Cartman(sp) that
                 when you walk down the street people go, God dammit!
                 That kid's a big fat fuck."
                 \_ "Mommy, the cat's being a dildo!"
        \_ "I KICK ASS IN THE NAME OF THE LORD!"
           \_ Wasn't that "I kick ass for the lord!"?
            \_ "Your mother ate my dog!"
        \_ Fuck my ass!  Fuck my ass!!  Fuck my ass!!!
        \_ it did not say "best lines from Hustler White"
        \_ "Yippeekai-ai, mother fucker"
        \_geeks who quote The Holy Grail are deserving of scorn- danh
                \_You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause
                  some watery tart threw a sword at you!
        \_ "I'll buy you corndogs."
        \_ "You ruined my new jacket!  Kill him a lot."
        \_ We're on a mission from god.
        \_ Officer! That man tried to have SEX with me!
        \_ Prepare for the foul warmth of my tongue!
        \_ RELEASE THE KRAKEN
        \_ "Say, that's a nice bike."
        \_ Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! Nooo.
        \_ Mom! Dad!  It's evil!  Don't touch it!
        \_ "They're baaa-aack..." -tpc
        \_ Jwang's version of Devil in a Blue Dress: "Colored trees ain't
           good enough for you?"
        \_ "I trust I make myself obscure?" "Perfectly."
        \_ Dis-ap-POINTED!!!
        \_ "I want my two dollars."

11/3    Nov 3, 1995

ikiru@ucsee.eecs.berkeley.edu
Euphrasia
415 921 7399

Please do not call after midnight or before dawn.   I will not read any
e-mail regarding this post.  i ask that interested parties call me
on the phone as this is a personal matter.  Thank you.

Male Beauty To Hellenistically Bathe And Pose For My Watercolor

Nebulous Tabula Rosa

Soft, large eyed, tall, slender yet curvaceous, athletic, healthy,
small breasted, sensual, pretty SWF 30, with lengthy, strong,
playfully affectionate legs seeks educated 20-29 healthy,
emotionally sound, clean, shy, drug free nonsmoking, 6ft+, strong
SWM with a flawless and fair complexion, short hair,
and a *kind* heart to share private sensitivities with while
bathing him, posing for her watercolor and exchanging love, kisses and
monogamous prospectives.   Too, you should be a man that would enjoy
having your feet massaged and bathed as well as the rest of your physic.

No sexually transmitted diseases, mean men or men who seek a mother figure.
I want to love a man and be loved by a man that can cry and laugh with me.
A shy man appeals to me and I prefer a virgin or one that has not had
many lovers.

Please do not call me if you have a girl friend and are looking for a casual
interaction because she does not fulfill your desires.  I am not
casual and I do not find interacting with a man who functions on a
physical level alone to be interesting.  Please do not call me if you
are an avid TV watcher or sports fan.  I do not like loud crowds,
TV sounds and sport event atmospheres.  I do not want to fall in
love with a man who has his 'team'.   Please do not call me if you
have a 'team'.  Men who have a team can not live spontaneously.

If you are a beautiful man, as the one I describe in mind and body, and
seek what I offer, please call me.  I will not read any e-mail.  Do not
call me unless you are happy with your physic and have an honest mind that
enjoys tenderness and avoids pain.

I enjoy country sides, picnics, opera, theater, dancing, the symphony and
I want to share love with a man who will bring me Godiva chocolates and
blue and pink flowers whenever he comes to visit.  And I enjoy adventure
and having a comfortable home is important to me.  It is nice to have a
wonderful place to return should the adventure be cumbersome.

I am a writer and are quite busy.  I work for the airlines which has
allowed me to experience the more beautiful parts of the world such
as Tahiti, which is my favorite.   I enjoy the delicate life style that
the islands offer in their sounds, scent and temperature.  I prefer
gentle atmospheres to extreme ones although Alaska in the winter is
one of my favorite places given its penetrating silence and northern
lights.

I think that a wonderful way to begin a relationship with another, should
attraction be present, is to bathe one another.  This intimacy may take
time to transpire however.   In depth discussions and interacting in various
environments may first be necessary before such a trust could be
considered.   I am uncomfortable with a fast pace and fast men.

Being bathed is a delicate and intimate way to get to know another while
building trust and understanding.   I would wash your hair and with steamy
water, soothe your mind and your beautiful body, treating you with
my finest love and tenderness.  I could not be cruel or forceful.
And at any time you are free to change your mind and I will not put up a fuss.
If we are mutually attracted to one another I would enjoy beginning a
relationship with you this way.  I prefer a shy man and I do not like a
man who is arrogant.  I feel more comfortable with a shy man.

Please, no mean messages from men playing mind games or from angry
women telling me that I am a bad woman.   Or from unconscious people
who think being well groomed implies superficial character.

Whenever I make postings of any type I tend to get some e-mail messages
from people yelling at me so I have decided not to read my e-mail
unless it is from someone that I know.  Also, given the simplicity
in forging mail, I do not find mail to be an appropriate or discreet
way of meeting such a man or of making correspondences with those that
I do not know.

This is not a joke.  Please call me only if you
ARE THE MAN I DESCRIBE and are interested in learning
about who I am and want to be loved and love.  PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME
IF YOU ARE NOT WHAT I DESCRIBE.

I want to bathe and paint a healthy man who takes care
of his body, respects it and protects its vulnerabilities.
If you are a world traveler and you do not take the
precautions that are necessary then do not contact me.  I
am not interested in a man that lives as an action figure
because I then will not feel that I can trust my body with
him.  I will not trust myself with a man who has not cared for
his own body and mind.   A man is simply human and I will only share my
love and affections with one that enjoys celebrating his humanity; he
carefully seeks out his limits and works within
them, not outside of them to where he then ages prematurely.  It is not
possible for two to share in a healthy relationship if either person
is lacking in health or does not enjoy what it is to be human.

The morning is a beautiful time for lovers, lovers who are healthy.  If
you drink coffee I am not interested in you as coffee drinkers have poor
breath and taste poor, particularly come morning time which is my
favorite time for love making.  Also, do not call me.  I want the sound
of soft breath moving in and out.  That sound contents me.  Snore sounds
agitate me.  A shy, sleepy man is so very sexy in the morning hours, my
favorite time of day as long as it is taken slow and easy, instinctually.

I do not have children and I am not interested in a man seeking a woman
simply for the reason of having his.  I am seeking love with a man who
needs a mate to enjoy life with.  I am happy and I want to share that
however I am not interested in rushing through things.  Commitments take
time and serious thought..

If you are serious about taking part in a sensual relationship with me
please do not e-mail me but call me on the telephone at 415 921 7399.
But only if you fit the description.   Any e-mail I receive with respect
to this posting I do not read.

Please do not call me if you are not what I describe.  I have taken
time to write this because I am looking for a SPECIFIC man, not any man.  If
you have now forgot the type of man I seek, and want to call, please reread
this letter before calling.  Call me only if you fit the description.  I am
seeking a very beautiful man in mind and body that cares for himself well.

The ritual of Hellenistically bathing a man is a healing, sensual
expression of love and intimacy towards him.  Sound is important.  Taste,
temperature, texture and lighting.

A man once called me and went on about how he Jacuzzi hops.  That is not
the experience I am interested in creating.   The sounds are small.  The
trickles of water squeezed from a cloth soaked in hot water gently tracing
down your spine.  Tracing my finger tips with an oil aside the moisture.
The lighting is soft.  Afore my fire place in my Penthouse where I keep
my rustic ceramic tub, big enough to hold your feet where I first tend
to them before discovering the rest.  In that I would bathe you as you
stood.  The warmth from the fire and the steamy water I attentively kept
your feet covered with will warm you.

Once your feet were properly cared for, bathed, clipped and massaged, I
then would brush your hair lightly, dampen it with my fingers and wash
it for you.  Perhaps then you might tell me your stories about things
that you've done, your dreams and hopes.

Trickles of soothing warm water crossing your body.

Thank you,

Euphrasia