Berkeley CSUA MOTD:Entry 52843
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2025/07/08 [General] UID:1000 Activity:popular
7/8     

2009/4/11-20 [Recreation/Dating, Health/Men] UID:52843 Activity:moderate
4/11    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/12/magazine/12sugardaddies-t.html
        \_ Most of the men profiled in that article reek of Asperger's.
         \_ No, they smell like overpaid narcisists.
            \_ Check out "Sam."
             \_ Nope.  Do you actually know anything about Asperger's
                beyond every geek on the net's self diagnosis?
        \_ Page 4 of 7: '... one-quarter of the site's sugar daddies
           (including married ones) are looking for male 'babies' ..."
           Wow!  I didn't know % of gays among rich males are that high.
           \_ I'm sure if you put your thinking cap on for just a second,
              you can come up with a few good reasons why that may not be
              a valid conclusion.
           \_ Gays tend to have higher incomes than straights.
              \_ If gay people ran the world, there would be less wars,
                 useless regime changes, and empty Mission Accomplished.
           \_ Old straight guys have less problem attracting young women
              without having to pay for it. BK is pathetic, btw.
              \_ Uh, they'll likely be paying for it, whether through formal
                 arrangement or otherwise.
                 \_ Uh, why do old straight men have an easier time time dating
                    younger women than old gay guys have dating young men?
                    Young gay men don't want money?
                 \_ This still doesn't explain the difference between the
                    dating prospects of older straight guys vs. older gay
                    guys. Young gay men don't like money?
                    \_ I said nothing about that. Homosexuality still has a
                       stigma attached to it, and rich gay men are less
                       likely to be openly propositioning young men. The
                       relative anonymity a website like this affords
                       can therefore be attractive.
                       \_ That can be true also. But it is still easier for
                          an older (maybe I should say middle aged) straight
                          guy to date a woman in her 20s than for a gay guy
                          to have a similar arrangement. Though maybe this is
                          just because of the fact that the straight couple
                          can get married -- paying for it otherwise -- in your
                          words.
                          \_ No, I meant the older guy will be shelling out
                             plenty (fancy restaurants, gifts, etc.) whether
                             or not he pays the woman a formal stipend or
                             whatever you want to call it.
                             \_ So you still have not explained why this does
                                not happen as much in the gay community.
                                \_ Happens all the time from what I can tell.
                                   My neighbors are gay and I go to a lot
                                   of their parties. The older, rich guy with
                                   the younger, hot companion who works as a
                                   personal trainer or hair stylist is a pretty
                                   common scenario.
                                   \_ I just realized that there is an
                                      alternative explaination and that is that
                                      there is more demand from older gay men
                                      for young guys than the similar
                                      arrangement in the straight world.
                                      Marraige explains this pretty well, since
                                      older married guys are less likely to
                                      philander.
                                      \_ Don't know many older married
                                         guys do you?  Especially of the
                                         rich asshole variety.
              \_ BK is a soda user.
                 \_ Please tell me you are kidding.
2025/07/08 [General] UID:1000 Activity:popular
7/8     

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www.nytimes.com/2009/04/12/magazine/12sugardaddies-t.html
Most of the men are looking for fit, sexy women, and most of the women want nice guys who can make them smile and laugh. com is a chatty social mixer, Seeking Arrangement is a down-and-dirty marketplace where older moneyed men and cute young women engage in brutally frank transactions. they want no-strings-attached "arrangements" that trade in society's most valued currencies: wealth, youth and beauty. In the cheesy lexicon of the site, they are "sugar daddies" and "sugar babies." There's the 18-year-old from France asking for $5,000 to $10,000 a month from "a mentor who can provide me with the finer things in life and keep me happy!" And the 49-year-old investor from upstate New York willing to pay $5,000 a month for a "daytime playmate" for "intense connection without commitment." Critics say the site is at best a convenience store for adulterers and at worst a virtual brothel, but Brandon Wade, Seeking Arrangement's 38-year-old founder and chief executive, is unperturbed by the criticism. "We stress relationships that are mutually beneficial," he says. "We ask people to really think about what they want in a relationship and what they have to offer. That kind of upfront honesty is a good basis for any relationship." com, which has 15 million paying subscribers, but still a remarkable number. Sugar babies outnumber daddies 10 to 1, Wade says, providing what one sugar daddy called "the best fishing hole I ever fished in." This abundance of possibility is part of what the site is selling, along with fantasy. Some of these men -- especially those shopping for women half their age -- are digging deep into their pockets to pay for an illusion: that despite their receding hairlines and wattled skin, they're still enchanting enough to charm pretty young women. One image on the site features a dazed, graying man doted on by two barely clad attendants -- a caricature of an already caricatured relationship. But this marketing spin doesn't capture the nuances of the relationships that often develop between the "daddies" and the "babies" who meet on the site -- relationships that can turn out to be more complicated than even the members themselves expect. Men may use money as a way to buy themselves out of the normal obligations of romance, like accommodating a woman's emotional needs as much as their own. But despite the power and security that the money buys, it can also undercut the very ego it's intended to boost. Consider B K, a fit finance executive in his early 40s, who, last October, began "dating" a 20-year-old engineering major at a college 90 minutes from his house. Like nearly half the sugar daddies on Seeking Arrangement, B K is married. Between pangs of guilt about cheating, B K views his secret dallying as a safety valve, letting him feel desired so he can return home and appreciate the many things he loves about his wife, even if they don't include giving him the attention he wants. And so, nearly each week, B K gets together with Lola, the young woman he met on the site, for a meal or a gym workout and a few hours at a hotel outside the Western city where he lives. Their visits are generally no longer than four or five hours because Lola, a senior, has a full course load and also works 40 hours a week at two low-wage jobs. With no money from her parents, she was frank in her Seeking Arrangement profile, saying she needed "immediate financial assistance." In B K, she gets that in the form of $100 or $150 stuffed in her bag each time they meet. He feels good about helping her with her tuition, encouraging her studies and romancing her, albeit in hotel rooms. Most of all, he's grateful that she doesn't want a commitment.