stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
clander madmen Television is one of the keys to a white person's heart. A proper reference to Arrested Development or the lending of a Wire Season on DVD are considered two of the easiest and most cost effective ways of getting a white person to like you. But with both of those shows off the air, their utility is being quickly depleted. Thankfully, there is Mad Men Mad Men is a TV show on cable with low ratings, multiple awards, critical praise, and full seasons available on DVD. And while you could apply the previously mentioned techniques to gain white friendship, Mad Men has an entirely new world of possibilities. The show is set in 1960 and features meticulous art direction that strives to make the show as historically accurate as possible. This veracity makes the show especially vulnerable to one of white people's favorite activities on earth: finding mistakes. And as is always the case with white people, the harder someone strives for accuracy, the happier a white person is to prove them wrong. But you think at least one person would have know than those IBM Selectric type writers didn't come out until 1961. But it is not recommended that you start searching for mistakes on the show. Doing so would require a massive amount of time spent on the internet. Also, if you point out errors that other white people missed they might be intimidated by you. Instead, the best way to use Mad Men is to suggest or host a themed party. When you say the words "we should have a Mad Men party," white people will immediately latch onto the idea and begin planning. By the end of the day, they will have picked proper attire and emailed you a drink and hors d'oeuvre menu. In the days and weeks leading up to the party white people will be thinking of clever ways to make it more authentic. Remember parties are fun, historically accurate themed parties are legendary. During the actual event you should constantly mention how much people used to smoke and drink back then. A few white people will lament the days when they could smoke anywhere, then another white person will say something about cancer and it will get awkward. At this point you should try to steer the conversation back to cocktails and how good everyone looks. The party should essentially run itself, however, you can severely curtail the amount of fun by saying: "I'm glad this isn't really 1960 or else I'd be serving all of you." White people often find truth to be very depressing at theme parties.
clander moleskine_pocket_plain_notebook Since all white people consider themselves to be "creative," they are constantly in need of products and accessories that will allow them to capture their thoughts. One of the more popular products in recent years has been the Moleskine notebook. This particular type of notebook is very expensive and was quite popular with writers and artists in the olden days. Needless to say, these are two properties that are highly coveted in the white community. In fact, it's a good rule of thumb to know that white people like anything that old writers and artists liked: typewriters, journals, suicide, heroin, and trains are just a few examples. Much like virtually everything else that white people like, these notebooks are considerably more expensive yet provide no additional functionality over regular notebooks that cost a dollar. Thankfully, since white people only keep their most original and creative ideas in the Moleskine, many of them will only be required to purchase one per lifetime. But the the growing popularity of these little journals, is not without its own set of problems. One of the strangest side effects has been the puzzling situation whereby a white person will sit in an independent coffee shop with a Moleskine notebook resting on top of a Apple laptop. You might wonder why they need so many devices to write down thoughts? Well, if a white person has a great idea, they write it by hand, if they have a good idea, it goes into the computer. Not only does this help them keep their thoughts organized, but it serves as a signal to the other white people in the shop that the owner of both instruments is truly creative. It screams: "I'm not using my computer to check email and read celebrity gossip, I'm using it to create art. So when you see a white person with one of these notebooks, you should always ask them about what sort of projects they are working on their free time. But you should never ask to actually see the notebook lest you ask the question "how are you going to make a novel out of five phone numbers and a grocery list?"
clander stashtat When you think about tattoo parlors, it conjures up images of sailors, gang members, hepatitis, and spring break. All of these are things that white people do not like, except for sailors but that only counts if they were sailing before Vietnam. Yet in spite of this, more and more white people are getting tattoos. But do not make the mistake of thinking that white people like all tattoos. In fact, they hate a great number of them: * Anything with an American Flag or Eagle * References to Military Services * Tribal Arm Bands * "Heritage" * Faces of children, spouses, or dead people * Tattoos with more than one color A white person getting a tattoo is a major step in their life as it presupposes that their taste at this given moment is good enough to sustain them for the rest of their lives. This is why you don't see a lot of white people with REM or Strokes tattoos. White people can only get tattoos of the only thing that they are guaranteed to like in five years, and needless to say it's a short list. But two things will never go out of style with white people: humor and irony. An ironic/funny tat can come in many forms: a piece of bacon, old Nintendo characters, mustaches on the inside of their finger, or Asian Characters that say something funny and self-aware like "dim sum,""chicken fried rice," or "I can't read Chinese." The Chinese or Japanese character is an interesting case study about the dangers of getting a tattoo with a personal meaning. You see, about fifteen years ago these were considered to be acceptable. Then the wrong kind of white people started getting sentences like "trust no one" or words like "beauty," "truth," or "endurance." To make a more modern analogy, it would be like The Arcade Fire being featured on a Jock Jams CD. A white person with the right kind of tattoo is generally very popular within the white community since they have shown a demonstrated commitment to irony, humor, and in some cases, self-deprecation. If you find yourself competing socially with one of these people, there are a few things you can do in order to defeat them. Your saving grace is the fact that white people not only enjoy getting funny/ironic tattoos, but they really enjoy talking about them too! Therefore, it is essential that you already have 2-3 clever tattoo ideas ready to drop into a conversation. "Yeah, that finger mustache is pretty cool but a lot of people have it. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo of a donut around my belly button or a picture of a hamburger on my forearm so I can order food when I'm in Japan." Your conversation partner will likely then tell you about the clever tattoos that they have been thinking of and before you know it they have forgotten all about your competition.
clander travellingguy When someone goes through a stressful experience they usually require some time off to clear their head, regain focus, and recover from the pain and suffering. ") Though you might consider finishing school or having a good job to be "accomplishments" many white people view them as burdens. As such, they can only handle them for so long before they start talking about their need to "take a year off" to travel, volunteer, or work abroad.
Generally, they will start off with a set amount of money that will use to travel for as long as possible. This explains why a white person with an $800 backpack will haggle with a poverty-stricken street vendor about a $2 dollar plate of food. If you work with this person, be sure to give them a FAKE email address on their last day on the job or you will be inu...
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