www.metafilter.com/78015/The-ObamaBigfoot-Connection
rocked the cryptozoology world with the claim that during the 1970s he was part of a hunting party in the Texas panhandle that shot, killed & buried two adult Bigfoots.
The ones who dislike faked evidence for war and hold out hope for a better future through openness, crossing the aisle and increasing government accountablity, or the ones that believe in bigfoot, wild unfounded conspiracy theories and put their faith in magical sky fairies?
On a serious note, there was a time during which I listened to Art Bell regularly (not so much now that George Noory is doing it - he sounds like a vitamin salesman). I loved the idea that post-internet there were all these people who still believed in things like crop circles, reverse speech, etc. Not just the aliens stuff, but all that B-episode X-files type stuff. Invariably I would be listening to his show in the dead of night while driving some interstate highway. The best shows were when he put one caller on to talk at length about some goofy thing, and then basically host the show and take other callers. So the radio show would be that lo-fi audio of two people on the phone, over AM radio, and me passing from one orange sodium highway light to the next. I imagine that's what it would be like two weeks after the world unexpectedly ended.
So the Ed/Bugs conspiracy theorists will unite the Big Foot conspiracy theorists with the Foreign-born Obama conspiracy theorists and together they will finally solve the *real* mystery behind the cause of AIDS?
And maybe they were, but as a story it never gained much traction (deservedly). But because I am an asshat, I decided to go to the source and write PM Gordon Brown and ask him to look into it for me.
Don't you know anything about how the government is secretly controlling/poisoning us? Man, I used to love me some Art Bell, where else could you get chemtrails, FEMA prison camps and "Remote Viewing" all in one radio show?
He's clearly using Bigfoot as Republican code for "illegal immigrants." And, by "shot, killed and buried," he actually means "noticed and called a talk show to complain about." Also, by "map," he meant "Bible" and by "turned over" he meant "read from." Also, by "dual citizen" he means "black" and by "divorce decree" he means "crayon drawing by his nephew."
After this, Hillary Clinton's minions reburied them, for good, under that grassy knoll. You can see the crop circles on the knoll, by the way, in that YouTube video that was mysteriously erased minutes after it was posted.
So, if it's true what they say about guys with "big feet," then now I think I understand what John Boehner was going on and on about on the news yesterday when he said he was concerned about the size of the President's "big package".
Just all of it, even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. Bush is a Reptilian, Bush is an Ascended Master from the Hollow Earth, Richard Simmons, Moon Landing, Remote Viewing, Flat Earth, Spirit Photography. The secret would be to not huddle around one little craziness, but to really accept everything. Then I realize that I just couldn't stand the bugeyed stares, bo and turquoise jewelry of my fellow conspiracy Martians. I mean I once saw this hulking CHUD of a man wolf down a half pound of tuna salad while he was handing out anti-fluoride literature in Union Square.
And maybe they were, but as a story it never gained much traction (deservedly). It never gained much traction because they did check records, and the State of Hawaii said yeah, he was born here. The fact that a few people are desperate for affirmation of their paranoia that a guy with a funny name and non-white skin can't possibly be a trustworthy American shouldn't change that at all.
On topic, what does a divorce decree have to do with Obama being a US citizen? Especially one that, at least to me, looks like it was issued in 1964, three years after he was born.
Especially one that, at least to me, looks like it was issued in 1964, three years after he was born. At first it was supposed to list Barack as a "son born in Kenya", then it switched to something about an alleged alias his mom was using which didn't prove anything in & of itself but it's another firefly to chase after, that might lead them to the proof they know must exist.
also we're still working on sasquatch) So basically they want to instill doubt and mistrust, and to keep it in the back of your mind, without going so far to provide any proof. but they found some other crap has nothing to do with anything. i believe america's gullibility may finally be wearing off, so the fearmongers are going to have a hard time peddling this stuff in the future, but good luck with that, boys.
As the mom WAS/IS a US citizen, any children born to her were automatically natural-born US citizens. All else is simply torturing definitions, and we all know what quality of info torture gets ya! If she renounced her citizenship before he was born, then he wouldn't be one, but she didn't, so he is, Art Bell and the tinfoil hat crowd notwithstanding.
Divine_Wino - my father's gone deep into the stuff you describe, chemtrails, UFOs, Bigfoot, psychic crap of all kinds... believing it all, sending money off to various sites for information, and oddly nothing's ever been found, no proof, no nothing, except he's on every damn sucker list you can imagine. And he came close to getting ripped off by someone calling up out of the blue, telling him to wire me $10k via Western Union, and then a Wells Fargo truck would pull up within two hours to offload $100k. Took a hell of a lot of persuading (screaming, shouting, calls to the BBB, calls to the police) to talk him out of THAT one.... There's a difference between maintaining an open mind, and having it so open your brains fall out. I would advocate a healthy skepticism, especially when it comes to Nigerian lotteries and cold calls promising a whole lotta dough if you just send someone money.
It helps that they're such rich sources of material to use against themselves. In my wildest dreams I could never have thought up the idea of painting my opponent as a mysterious Bigfoot hunter.
Now, I lived in a tiny town that had nothing for someone who wasn't in high school but was too young to go to the bars, so I ended up doing a lot of driving around on my many days off- gas was cheap and I had my own wheels for the first time in my life. Every night there was a different brand of crazy, and Art Bell's soft, credulous style was tremendously fun to listen to. He'd have on psuedoscientists, alien abductees, conspiracy theorists- the whole gamut of whackos. Noory doesn't have half the style of Bell, and it's no longer any fun.
He replied, (actually his secretary) but ignored my questions. Now all they need are a Flatearther, a moonlanding denialist, and a LaRouchian to complete the Legion Of WTF. In total Pavlovian fashion, as soon as I read that, I heard the opening drumbeats to the Super-Friends theme.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:10 PM on January 6 Yes, but I get that same feeling listening to NPR's Morning Edition. That's why these days all I can listen to is satellite radio's death metal channel. It reminds me that no matter how bad things are here, at least we aren't Finland.
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