tinyurl.com/6fr67u -> www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081121.WBstreetwise20081121112035/WBStory/WBstreetwise
Here's what shell-shocked financiers are laughing at on Wall Street Friday morning in a phony Bloomberg story: Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup By Andreas Hippin November 20 (Bloomberg) -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup. The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said. "You may not like our price, but we are not in the business of paying for things. Be happy we are in the mood to offer the shareholders anything," said Ali. The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS's. Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said: "We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets has allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital to grow the business even faster." We are coastguards and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."
Link to Comment 5 Accountant from Toronto from Canada writes: Sounds like a great investment.. it's only a matter of time before these PRBS's bubble and we all make a fortune...
Link to Comment 6 Brian Engler from Richmond, BC, Canada writes: Aye matey's: Capitalism is alive and well. Now, how do we regulate this thing so that we can tax it and then sell it to our taxpayers as a good deal?
Link to Comment 7 Wandering Willy from Kelowna, Canada writes: In recent news, Sandy Weill issued a statement aimed at the pirates that he would sooner cut off his leg then see Somali Pirates own the company he helped create. The pirates agreed, and after having Sandy fitted for his new peg leg have offered him the reins of the new company if he agrees to change his name to Sandy "Bottom" Weill and wear an eyepatch.
Link to Comment 9 E Jones from Canada writes: Thank you Thank You I haven't laughed about this nighmare in... Please pass on more of these gems when they cross your desk.
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