5/28    I've ruled out the possibility of getting a gun when I collect
        rent in shady neighborhoods. Instead, I may get a Taser. What's
        a good Taser to get that I can conceal well? Taser C2 seems a bit
        whimpy, but Taser M18-L is a bit bulky.
        \_ I tell the landlady I got a job, I'm gonna pay the rent.
           She said 'Yeah'?  I said 'Oh yeah'.  And then she was so nice.
           Lord she was lovey-dovey.  So I go in my room, pack up my things
           and go.  I slip on out the back door and down the streets I go.
           She a-howlin' about the front rent, she'll be luck to get any
           She a-howlin' about the front rent, she'll be lucky to get any
           back rent.
           OW OW OW THEN SHE TAZED ME OW OW OW OW OW OW OW
           \_ that is illegal. taser should only be used for SELF DEFENSE.
              ditto with guns. baseball bat, golf clubs, fists are ok
              in any situation. at any rate, your land lady can't kick
              you out. it takes like a whole year before they can really
              evict you, physically.
              \_ Not even. The unlawful detainer action can be completed
                 in 30 days and it's not more than another 30 before the
                 sheriff comes to kick you out, depending on the schedule
                 of the court.
                 \_ Non-payment of rent is a 3 Day or Quit kind of eviction.
                    It can go pretty fast, even in a place like San Francisco.
                 \_ Also depends on whether tenant files an Answer; if so,
                    welcome to extended court action.
                    \_ No one got my joke.  sad.
        \_ Why not pepper spray?
        \_ Ever heard of a property manager?
           My godfather is a slumlord and he ended up selling certain
           properties when the tenants didn't pay rent because he was afraid
           to go collect it. He should've used a property manager also.
           It's worth a 10% fee to not get a bullet.
           \_ a 10% decrease in revenue for me is 20% loss a year.   -op
              \_ Sounds like a crappy property to own. Why did you buy it?
                 \_ loooooong story. I lived in it till I moved out  -op
        \_ explain why you haul around your wife draped in expensive
           jewelry while you collect rent?  or is that another guy?
           \_ expensive jewelry = relative. iPod and Nike shoes are
              considered fancy in ghettovilles
              \_ We sure have a lot of ambidextrous landlords with
                 concealed carry permits on the motd.
           \_ I'm pretty certain this is the same troll.
              \_ I am a LA Sodan (Toluca Lake).  My wife shot a Home Invader
                 two years ago (before we were married!) and it was a huge
                 legal hassle.  In fact it might have bankrupted her if she
                 wasn't friends with the cops (she was an Assistant DA then).
                 According to her lawyer, "it was a good thing you killed
                 him, because if he was just injured and around for the trial
                 you probably would have lost the suit."  By the way, I learned
                 about this the day before we were married.  Bay Area Sodans:
                 Do NOT judge people from LA.  LA is Different!  There are
                 dangerous people here.         -mossberg590@gmail.com
                 \_ Whoaaa!!! MOST ENTERTAINING RESPOND EVER. Thanks!
                                                        \- ^EVER^EVAR