9/6     I'm going to start ending my conversations with my girlfriend
        like Keith Olbermann.  270 DAYS SINCE MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
        I MEAN since we've had sex.
        \_ How can you possibly call her your "girlfriend" if it has
           been 270 days since you last had sex? You are exaggerating
           for effect, right?
           \_ Good point.  I might be exaggerating.  I'm going to
              open my calendar and calculate.  brb.
              k2:~$ bc -l
              bc 1.06
              Copyright 2000 Free Software Foundation, Inc.
              This is free software with ABSOLUTELY NO WARRANTY.
              For details type `warranty'.
              30 + 31 + 30 + 31 + 31 + 6
              159
              You're right, I was exaggerating.  I apologize.
              \_ Why'd you delete my plea to hang out with Bitter Divorce
                 Guy?  Not kidding about the 159 days.  Fuck.  I guess
                 it'll be 160 tomorrow.  and 161 the day after that.
                 Next week it'll be 87 DAYS UNTIL THE PATREUS REPORT
                 I MEAN until we have sex again.
                 \_ DTHMFA
              \_ I should quit whining.  Some dudes go YEARS without
                 having sex.  Oh shit it's been almost half a year.
                 I AM THAT DUDE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
              \_ Dump her. She probably is schtuping someone else
                 on the side.
          \_ There's a lot more to a relationship than sex. Most women
             don't like sex anyway. I'd say 159 days is pretty good
             for any long-term relationship.
             \_ 159 days is fine?  Really?  Damn, I'm really getting
                a lot of conflicting advice.
                \_ Most of it from married men afraid to tell it like it
                   is and college kids who don't know shit.
                   \_ This married guy got laid tonight.
                      \_ You'd better hope your wife doesn't find out.
                         \_ Hahaha, very funny. I bet I get laid tonight
                            or tommorrow night, too.
        \_ This will come as a shock to you all but I didn't get laid last
           night.  I'm taking suggestions for a cute motd moniker.
           Don't Get Laid Guy?  200 days since last getting laid guy?
           tom?
           \_ Wax Dart Man
           \_ Is that a bill hicks reference ?  I love bill hicks.
           \_ Not Getting Laid guy here again.  I went over to the chick's
              house tonight in an effort to have something cheerful to
              report to the motd this weekend, but she didn't answer
              the phone or her doorbell.  Maybe she really is shtupping
              another guy!  This will make the breakup easier.
              Thanks motd!
              \_ You are welcome. You should call yourself BSG, for
                 Bitter Sexless Guy.
                 Bitter Sexless Guy. And wait a second, you have been
                 dating her for six months and you don't routinely do
                 something together on a Friday night???
                 \_ We were going to, and I called her, and she said
                    she needed a couple of hours of 'alone time'
                    before we went anywhere, then I never heard from
                    her again.
                    \_ "alone time" with her real boyfriend.  I'm
                       sorry, man, that sucks.