8/29    Well, my plan WAS to fill you all in on my past week and a half of
        life. But, sometimes things change in an instant. I CAN tell you
        that a few weeks back, I was as high on life. I felt that there was
        nothing in the world that could bring me down. I was given
        permission, by my husband, to have sex with other men. When I was
        first told, I never thought for a second that I could actually ever
        go through with it, so I just teased him by telling him stories of
        me having sex with other men, and it was a lot of fun. I did
        mention to him that if I were ever to do it, it had to be someone I
        was extremely attracted to. Well, that day came along. I found the
        perfect man to share this experience with. I told this man that I
        wanted to have sex with him and that I would pay for him to get
        tested so that we could enjoy ourselves knowing that we were
        safe. I had been around this guy in the past and Herpes was brought
        up, but it was never a straight forward question, so my answer was
        that 99.9% of the porn industry has Herpes. I thought by saying
        that it was pretty clear, but I should never have assumed. I got
        the test results back from Aim Healthcare and his test was negative
        for everything, so we set a time and a place for our rendezvous and
        I went on about my merry way. I was in heaven, feeling like I was
        thirteen year old again and having my first kiss at Skateworld. I
        had so much desire for this man and didn't even know it until my
        husband told me of his fantasy. Well, I went to meet up with him
        and we shared some of the most incredible sex I've ever had. We
        began to talk about how responsible we felt for doing it this way
        and that people should do it like this more often. Get tested, get
        permission and totally enjoy yourselves. It didn't even take
        ANYTHING away from the excitement of it! In fact, it may have made
        it even better! Then we started talking about STDs and he brings up
        Herpes! He says, "You don't have that do you?" My heart almost hit
        the floor and my gut tightened up like a knot. It's a little late
        in the game to be asking this now, don't you think? It was as much
        his responsibility as it was mine, so I can't really place any
        blame. I really thought he knew since we had talked briefly about
        it before. NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING!!!! I couldn't even tell him the
        truth at that moment because I was so embarrassed. I just blurted
        out, "NO!" I kept thinking how am I going to tell him. This is a
        man who doesn't work in the adult industry, granted I don't know
        what he does in his personal life, but I should have said something
        before it was too late. I never said a word and left. I called
        Aiden right away and told him what happened and immediately after
        that I called "the other man" to tell him that I lied. I explained
        everything and told him how I felt and he was actually really calm
        and nice about it all. I took him to Aim Healthcare the next day to
        talk about it and told him I would pay to get him tested again and
        that I would take care of it for him. I am just crossing my fingers
        that I did not give him HSV-2 for life. Now you all know why I
        posted the Herpes blog because I went through a lot emotionally and
        got very stressed out over it all. I actually lost sleep and my
        appetite for awhile. Now everything is calmed down and I feel a lot
        better. My husband's fantasy is gone. And even it if it weren't I
        don't think I could have sex with anyone else at this point. I am
        fine with having sex with just my husband for the rest of my
        life. You don't have to ask me twice.

        Anyway, here's the kicker. I started shooting the Vivid feature,
        The Devil in Miss Jones: Lost Paradise and everything was going
        well. I've been working 13 hour days and it's been challenging
        because I don't usually do these kinds of projects. I know that
        it's worth it to me though, because when I get to sit down and
        watch the finished product, I'll see all the hard work I put into
        it. The night of the 23rd, after my shower, I was putting some
        lotion on and felt what I thought was a rash on my upper butt
        cheek. I was like, what the hell is this? and kept trying to think
        of how I could have gotten it and from where, or was it a bug bite
        or something? I could not seem to pin point it. I left it alone and
        thought, well, it will be gone in a couple of days, no worries. But
        it has only gotten worse. I had to cancel my sex scenes for today
        and I went to the doctor, only to find that he thinks it Herpes. I
        am not 100% sure yet because the culture won't be back until
        Friday, but he loaded me up with medication. The thing is, it's not
        a normal sized breakout. It happens to be 2 inches in diameter and
        it's on my ass!!!!!!!! This isn't the worst thing that could
        happen. I am totally aware of that, but it is a big fucking deal to
        me considering the size and the placement! He even said it could
        very well leave a scar because of the size of it. I nearly cried!
        It's days like this that make my job suck. If there were one thing
        that I could name that would make me not want to have sex for a
        living it would be STDs! And that is why I am telling you all of
        this today. I will no longer be performing with other people. I'll
        still be doing solo scenes for extras on my movies and also
        directing, dancing and signings.

        This is really a big decision for me and it hurts me in some
        ways, but the way I look at... it's time to let me body relax. I
        just don't want to risk getting Herpes all over my body,

        or in my eyes, or genital warts or even HIV Don't worry,
        I'm not leaving the business, I'm just not going to be
        performing in front of the camera anymore. I know that
        is why a lot of you are my fans, but I hope you continue
        to be a fan of my work directing and behind the camera
        in the years to come. I can't thank you all enough for
        supporting my career throughout the years!  And I'll
        still be here telling you all about my adventures in
        life and all of the other really hot guys and girls I've
        been shooting. So don't go anywhere yet, I have much
        more in store for you.
        \_ ALRIGHT given that porn censorship has failed, I'll just leave
           this up. While you're at it, could you PLEASE post the source
           url so that we'll know where it's coming from? Thanks.