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| 5/23 |
| 2007/7/31-8/3 [Recreation/Dating] UID:47485 Activity:high |
7/31 Lust trumps love when it comes to having sex
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20059548
\_ I knew this all along. Girls just want to have fun.
\_ The motd taught me that women don't want to have sex. I'm soooo
confused now. Oh please help me Motd Girl Gods!
\_ By the way, this is the reason that they have sex but it
doesn't say anything about frequency or enjoyment of the act.
\_ They just don't want sex with me.
\_ They say they want to have sex. They may even act like it
if it helps them land a man. However, they do not
\_ They say they want to have sex. They may even act like they
like it if it helps them land a man. However, they do not
actually like it and would be just happy if they never
had sex again. Witness how lesbians progress in
relationships:
1. Date
2. Move in together
3. Get a dog
4. Have sex
\_ in addition to being unable to get laid, you apparently
have never met an actual lesbian either.
\_ I'm sure you're an expert on lesbians and also
think that the actions of actors on "Sex in the City"
are representative of reality. Women like sex so
much that some even fake the Big O to get it over with.
Yes, I'm sure they can't wait for more. Give them
a Black Amex card and never touch them again and
they'll be happy as shit. You know which women love
sex? Psychos, traumatized women, and fat chicks.
I'm sure most of your experience is in the latter
category. Not that they like the act itself either,
but it's a big ego boost for them that someone is
actually interested in them.
\_ project your issues much?
\_ Fucked a lot of fat chicks, huh?
\_ Hey BDG is that you? I have probably dated more
women than you and in any case I have dated many.
And I can say that while there is a whiff of truth in
what you say, I have known many women who enjoyed
sex who were good looking, not crazy and not
traumatized. I even married one. I am sorry that your
experience has been otherwise.
\_ The key is that women who like sex and aren't
a big bundle of issues are way out of BDG's
league. Women can smell that kind of misogyny
from a mile off, and the ones with their heads
screwed on straight know to stay the fuck away
from that kind of crap. The sane like to fuck
the sane. Crazy that. (Note, this also is the
reason stupid frat guys think the crazy ones are
the best in bed.)
\_ So in a nutshell what you are saying is
that it's hard to date the 2% of sane
women who enjoy sex. I would agree with
that. It would be a lot easier if, say,
90% of sane women enjoyed sex.
\_ No I'm saying that by being a creep you've
limited youtself to the bottom 10%, but if
it makes you feel better you can pretend
that that is a larger chunk of the female
population.
\_ Bottom 10%. Haha! What a laugh! You
base this on what exactly?
\_ link:csua.org/u/j9f
\_ It's not just me. Look at how
many married men are unhappy with
their sex lives. Look at how
many women say they aren't
really into sex. I've heard
two ex-wives (neither mine)
say "I don't care if I ever
have sex again" and also
heard women say that their
husbands wanted sex too often.
Face it: sex isn't a big deal
husbands want sex too often.
Face it: Sex isn't a big deal
to most women like it is to
men. Reason: It's not that
interesting to them.
\_ Married men tend to be happier
with their sex lives than single
men. No one is arguing that women
want to have sex as often as men
do, we just object to your
characterization of every woman
who enjoys sex as psycho. I
would like to have sex with my
wife every day, but she does not
want to have it that often. That
does not mean she is frigid or
that I am unhappy.
men: http://www.csua.org/u/j9j
"Eighty-three percent of men
enjoy sex "a great deal"; that
falls to 59 percent of women. "
I don't think anyone would
dispute that men tend to have
higher sex drives than women.
I wish I could have sex every
night with my wife, but she does
not want it that often. That does
not make her frigid or mean that
I am unhappy with my sex life.
\_ No. It just means she doesn't
like sex that much. 31%
of women report they aren't
into sex from your own
survey. You then say
your wife doesn't want
it often. End result:
Women don't enjoy sex
that much. I will claim
(with only anecdotal
data) that the 31% number is
actually twice that or
more. 31% were being honest.
It also includes newlyweds.
Check out that ~50% of
people over 30 are
dissatisfied with their
sex lives for a dose of
reality - and that's
just those willing to be
honest about it.
\_ At least you are changing
your tune from "no women
enjoy sex" to "2%" to
at least 1/3. Everything
isn't black or white, like
in a computer program.
\_ If you put a gun to my
head and asked me
if women ejoy sex my
if women enjoy sex my
answer would be no.
There is some contingent
of women (e.g. porn
stars) who seem to enjoy
it, but my argument is
that they are effed up
in some way.
\_ porn stars appear to
be among the women
who least enjoy
sex.
\_ Based on their
proclivity for
fucking all the
time? I wonder
what they'd be
like if they
actually enjoyed
it.
\_ While either 90% of my relationships
have been with this magic 2% that
actually has a spine and enjoys
sex or your numbers are off. I know
full well I'm not enough of a super
hottie to be consistantly getting
the best of the best, so I'm going
to go with the problem being you.
\_ How would you know if they actually
enjoyed sex?? -!bdg
\_ Not only that, but how long
were the relationships?
Every women will claim to
Every woman will claim to
love sex for the first year
or two. That doesn't mean
they do. Look at how common
"inhibited sexual desire"
is for women.
is for women. After that
euphoric "honeymoon phase"
in a new relationship where
she sucks you off every day
the sex dwindles to where
women prefer it to be: minimal.
That's why guys divorce
even superhotties in favor
of fresh meat. Women don't
put out if they don't feel
they have to. Men will
screw a knothole in a tree.
Why? They like sex!
\_ When you first meet women they will of course
pretend to enjoy sex.
\_ right, and they also lie about it to people
conducting surveys!
\_ Because no one ever lies on surveys.
Hell, some lie about it to themselves.
\_ I'll take the survey results over the
assertions of a misogynistic MOTD
idiot, thanks. -tom
\_ I don't think it's misogynistic
to say that women don't enjoy
sex. How does that put women
down? It's just how things are.
If women were biologically wired to
enjoy sex then they would have more
children than they could care
for. Women *are* wired to please
their mates so that they stick
around, but that's not the same
as enjoying sex for the sake of
the act. The women who enjoy sex
for the sake of it are either
young and inexperienced or messed
up in some way. It sounds misogynistic
to say that until you realize
it's biological.
\_ maybe you're not misogynistic,
maybe you're just an idiot. -tom
\_ Or maybe I'm right.
\_ I think that has been
thoroughly eliminated as a
possibility. -tom
\_ Yes, because you
believe what your wife
tells you. BTW, is
she fat? Just wondering.
\_ go read
http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/homepage/group/MestonLAB/Publications/WhyHaveSex.pdf
http://urltea.com/146t (homepage.psy.utexas.edu, PDF) |
| 5/23 |
|
| www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20059548 WASHINGTON - After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same motivations. It's more about lust in the body than a love connection in the heart. College-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex -- they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and "it feels good," according to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior. Twenty of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women. Expressing love and showing affection were in the top 10 for both men and women, but they did take a back seat to the clear No. Researchers at the University of Texas spent five years and their own money to study the overlooked why behind sex while others were spending their time on the how. Top reasons for having sex The top and bottom reasons for having sex from a list of 237 that college-aged men and women gave University of Texas researchers: Men's top 10 reasons: 1 I was attracted to the person. Women's top 10 reasons: 1 I was attracted to the person. Men's bottom 5 reasons: 1 The person offered to give me drugs for doing it. Women's bottom 5 reasons: 1 I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease. Source: The Associated Press "It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes ... that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love," said University of Texas clinical psychology professor Cindy Meston, the study's co-author. Few gender differences Forget thinking that men are from Mars and women from Venus, "the more we look, the more we find similarity," said Dr. Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego. Goldstein, who wasn't part of Meston's study, said the Texas research made a lot of sense and adds to growing evidence that the vaunted differences in the genders may only be among people with sexual problems. Meston and colleague David Buss first questioned 444 men and women -- ranging in age from 17 to 52 -- to come up with a list of 237 distinct reasons people have sex. They ranged from "It's fun" which men ranked fourth and women ranked eighth to "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease" which ranked on the bottom by women. Once they came up with that long list, Meston and Buss asked 1,549 college students taking psychology classes to rank the reasons on a one-to-five scale on how they applied to their experiences. "None of the gender differences are all that great," Meston said. "Men were more likely to be opportunistic towards having sex, so if sex were there and available they would jump on it, somewhat more so than women. Women were more likely to have sex because they felt they needed to please their partner." Dirty talking for the tongue-tied But this is among college students, when Meston conceded "hormones run rampant." She predicted huge differences when older groups of people are studied. Since her study came out Tuesday, people are coming up with new reasons to have sex. "Originally, I thought that we exhaustively compiled the list, but now I found that there should be some added," Meston said. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed. THE SEX DOCTORS WILL SEE YOU NOW Next week in San Diego, Dr. Irwin Goldstein will open the doors of the nation's first holistic, hospital-based sexual medicine center. San Diego Sexual Medicine will draw upon multidisciplinary fields to diagnose and treat the sexual complaints of patients, says Goldstein. |
| www.csua.org/u/j9j -> abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=2 TOT The 'O' Word Three-quarters of sexually active men say they "always" have an orgasm, while just 30 percent of women say the same. An additional 45 percent of women say they have an orgasm "most of the time," but not always. As noted, nearly half of women report having faked an orgasm, but they aren't the only thespians: Eleven percent of men say they've done so too. Asked why they faked it, men and women alike speak mainly about either pleasing their partner or getting done. it's higher among women who've cheated on a spouse, are dissatisfied with their sex lives and are less than very satisfied with their marriages. But for others that doesn't necessarily hold: Sexually adventurous women are among the most likely always to have orgasms, yet also among the most likely to have faked them. Women who are more likely always to have an orgasm are more apt to enjoy sex a great deal, think about it often, be satisfied with their sex lives and say their sex lives are very exciting. Always having an orgasm is least common among women age 40 and older, longtime marrieds, those who are less than very satisfied with their sex lives and with their marriage, and those who don't enjoy sex a great deal. The orgasm gap between the sexes likely explains why men are more apt than women to enjoy sex a great deal. Among people who always have orgasms -- disproportionately men -- nearly nine in 10 enjoy sex a great deal. Among those who don't always or usually have orgasms -- mainly women -- top-level enjoyment drops to 46 percent. Eight in 10 sexually active men and women alike say they have about "the right amount" of sexual foreplay. And they offer identical median estimates of the amount of time they spend having sex, including foreplay: 45 minutes. Three-quarters of men and women alike are unworried about contracting AIDS or another sexually transmitted disease; In another area of accord, three-quarters of men and women alike say it's more enjoyable to be married than dating. Sexual activity is a likely reason: Just 35 percent of singles are currently involved in a sexual relationship (rising to 51 percent of young singles), compared with 83 percent of couples (and 91 percent of couples excluding seniors). Among people who've had sex in the last year, nearly nine in 10 describe their sex lives as exciting -- but far fewer, just over a third, call it "very exciting." Similarly, while more than seven in 10 women and men alike say they're satisfied with their sex lives, fewer -- about half -- say they're "very" satisfied. Still, that's greater than high-level satisfaction with jobs or finances, and about equal to the satisfaction people express with their health and social lives. Americans give higher satisfaction ratings to their family lives (68 percent "very" satisfied), but the highest of all to their marriages or committed relationships. Indeed nearly everyone in a married or committed relationship is satisfied with it -- 97 percent -- including eight in 10 who are "very satisfied," men and women alike. Big Picture The big picture, sexually speaking, is as follows: Ninety-seven percent of adult Americans have ever had sexual intercourse; Seventy-eight percent have had sex in the last year (86 percent of men and 70 percent of women). And 64 percent are currently involved in a sexual relationship. Far fewer adults, however, have had a single sex partner in their entire lifetime -- a quarter of women, and 12 percent of men. Coupling is the norm: More than eight in 10 Americans are either married (52 percent), living with a partner in a committed relationship (eight percent), widowed (eight percent), or gave wedlock a whirl but are now separated or divorced (15 percent). Seventeen percent -- mainly younger adults -- never have married. Americans say they first had sex at an average age of 18 (17 for men, 18 for women). In a difference between the sexes, half of women, compared with 37 percent of men, say that in retrospect that was too young to start. one female respondent said it was at age 50, another at 42 and a man at 39. Those who have sex do so with some regularity: Among those currently in a sexual relationship, 85 percent have sex about once a week or more, including 41 percent several times weekly and eight percent have sex daily. And people like it: Eighty-four percent of all women and 95 percent of men enjoy sex, although, as noted, men are much (24 points) more apt to enjoy it "a great deal." The times clearly have changed in terms of sexual mores. Fifty-five percent of adults say homosexuality is "OK for some people"; in a 1982 Gallup poll, by contrast, just 34 percent called it an acceptable lifestyle. Sixty-one percent say premarital sex is OK -- compared with just 21 percent in a Gallup poll in 1969. Seniors are the only group in which a majority still says premarital sex is not acceptable; among young singles, by contrast, 76 percent say it's OK. The Young and the Single Young singles (under age 30) are less inhibited in some ways, but it isn't quite "Sex and the City" out there. Indeed, young singles have sex less frequently than people in a committed relationship (naturally -- they lack a ready partner). As noted, they're less likely to be in a sexual relationship. Young singles are no more satisfied than couples sexually and no more likely to call their sex lives very exciting. Instead it's married (or living-together) young adults who are most apt to call their sex lives very satisfying and very exciting. Young singles also are no more likely than anyone else to have had sex on a first date, or to watch sex movies. Compared to all adults, more young singles are virgins (16 percent), particularly young single women. Sexually active young singles don't have more lifetime sex partners (they're still young); they report a median of two partners in the last year, compared with a median of one for other adults. Forty-seven percent of young singles are concerned about contracting AIDS or some other sexually transmitted disease, twice the level of concern among other adults. And more (especially young single men) report having had unexpected sex and outdoor sex. Generation Gap Young adults more broadly, whether single or in a relationship, are more progressive sexually. They're more apt to talk with partners about their sexual fantasies; They're more likely to describe themselves and their partners as sexually adventurous. They're more apt to look at sexually explicit Web sites (particularly young men -- 53 percent have done so, compared with 26 percent of young women). Attitudinally, 65 percent of young adults say homosexuality is OK for some people, and 71 percent of young adults condone premarital sex (peaking, as noted, at 76 percent of young singles). UPDATED Privacy Policy/Your California Privacy Rights External links are provided for reference purposes. ABC News is not responsible for the content of external internet sites. |
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