Berkeley CSUA MOTD:Entry 47352
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2025/05/23 [General] UID:1000 Activity:popular
5/23    

2007/7/20-23 [Recreation/Dating] UID:47352 Activity:high
7/20    I've concluded that both cats and dogs are stupid and are not
        worthy of my companionship. Is there a place to buy pet monkeys?
        I'd appreciate any info on monkey breeders. I only want to buy
        from ethical breeders and not evil monkey mills. Thanks!
        \_ http://www.petmonkey.info/testimonials.htm
           \_ Thanks for injecting a rare dose of reality into the motd.
        \_ Why not just have a child?
           \_ The condomless (aka it feels so much better without) guy
              is probably working on it right now.
              \_ Given I know someone who had a kid despite using both pills
                 and condoms, I see cheer the condomless guy's desire to
                 enjoy sex (assuming she's on the pill.)
                       - guy forced to wear a condom
                 \_ Asian women in general don't like taking pills, and
                    are not as active or motivated by sex as Caucasians
                    Are you by any chance dating an Asian?
                    \_ This implies that any women that haven't been
                       molested or are into drugs (or both, like strippers)
                       are actually sexually active and/or motivated by sex.
                       Women like sex for one reason: to have kids.
                       \_ Plenty of women are motivated by sex.  Just not
                          sex with *you*.  -tom
                          \_ I disagree vehemently. Sex is a tool for
                             women. Reason being: They can get laid
                             whenever they want. Where's the excitement in
                             that? It's about as exciting for them as jerking
                             off is for men: fun when you're 13 but not so
                             fun at 38.
                             \_ I'm with tom on this one.  It isn't about that
                                they can get laid (but with *who* is an import-
                                ant question), but that actually having sex is
                                good if the sex is good.  Maybe you need one
                                of those 'sexual pleasure for dummies' books?
                                Are you related to BDG?
                                \_ BDG is a very wise man. Let me tell
                                   you, I'm a *guy* and I find sex boring
                                   these days. It was really fun at 18.
                                   Now, eh. Like roleplaying games and
                                   illicit drugs, its time has past.
                                   \_ I think they have pills for that now.
                                   \_ Find a new lover and get a book on better
                                      sex.  BTW, there's more to sex than
                                      missionary + 30 seconds (you @18).
                                   \_ If you find sex boring, that explains
                                      why women don't want to have sex
                                      with you.  -tom
                                      \_ "Women don't want to have sex
                                         with you" is your own proposition.
                                         with you" is your own assertion.
                                         I never said that. I said women
                                         aren't into sex except for
                                         procreation beyond the
                                         experimentation stage unless they
                                         are addicts or psycho. They might
                                         have sex. They might pretend to like
                                         it. They don't, except perhaps if it
                                         makes their man happy. I know
                                         this because I've heard a lot of
                                         women say it and they weren't talking
                                         about me when they said it. Tom,
                                         as a guy, wouldn't know anything
                                         other than what his doting wife
                                         told him to his face.
                                         \_ actually it was yer mom.  -tom
                                         \_ Which explains why so many married
                                            women cheat?  Because they hate
                                            sex and do it for their man?  Ok.
                 \_ Seriously, if someone had a kid while using pills and
                    a condom I'd suspect intentional sabatoge.
                    \_ I was gonna post this too. You can't really know that
                       she was really on the pill. And... what if it's not his
                       kid? Haha.
                       \_ Those of you with kids have 6 months to get you and
                          the kid tested and contest your fatherhood before
                          you're stuck forever raising some red headed kid.
                          The going rate for accidental discovery of
                          mismatched blood types (usually discovered many
                          years later for medical procedures) is about 10%.
                          Contested rates are about 1/3rd.  So, if there are
                          10 motd parents out there the odds are really good
                          at least one of you is raising some other guy's kid.
                          \_ uh, that's not what those stats mean.
                             \_ It's exactly what they mean.
                 \_ You're not forced to wear a condom.  You chose your mate.
                 \_ My wife doesn't want to go on the pill either. So now
                    we just have anal all the time.
2025/05/23 [General] UID:1000 Activity:popular
5/23    

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Cache (8192 bytes)
www.petmonkey.info/testimonials.htm
The young woman whose hand is pictured here says: "I thought Kaylie was the perfect child. She slept with me, went to do shopping errands with me and was part of the family. When she was a baby capuchin, I would never have imagined that as a three-year-old Kaylie would attack me with no warning." "The nerves in my hand and wrist were so severely severed that I will likely never regain use of my hand despite all of the surgeries I have endured." Bites from nonhuman primates can cause severe lacerations. Anyone who acquires a monkey thinking it will be a suitable pet is embarking upon a tragic journey... This nine-year-old Montgomery County, Texas boy was playing in his yard when he was suddenly attacked by a neighbor's 'pet' macaque monkey. This nine-year-old Montgomery County, Texas boy was playing in his yard when he was suddenly attacked by a neighbor's 'pet' macaque monkey. Of the attack, the boy says, "The monkey started jumping. He got this arm, then he jumped to this arm and started yanking, and going back and forth to a leg and both my arms, like, taking turns on all of them." These wounds were caused by a small female monkey which had been considereda "sweet loving pet" for eight years. These wounds were caused by a small female monkey which had been considered a "sweet loving pet" for eight years. These wounds were caused by a toothless and "fixed" capuchin monkey. These wounds were caused by a toothless and "fixed" capuchin monkey. The woman whose leg is shown to the left wrote: I am sending you a picture of what Boomer (a capuchin) did to me last week and also to tell you that you were so right when you told me removing the teeth is no safe guard against getting hurt. I don't know why he got mad, he just attacked for no reason I can figure out. I didn't take anything away from him, he just all the sudden jumped on me before I even knew what was happening. I remember you telling me you can take the teeth and testicles out of a monkey but not the wild instinct. These wounds, caused by a young female macaque monkey, were only a few of the wounds sustained in a single attack by a woman who was attempting to keep the monkey as a 'pet'. Note: The monkey who inflicted these wounds has no canine teeth. These wounds were caused by a young female macaque monkey "Pulling of healthy teeth to prevent the nonhuman primate from biting is not considered ethical or appropriate for the health of the nonhuman primate." II Spring 2001 Compliments, Exotic Pet Medicine, Mosby Publishing, Volume 5, Issue 10, October 2000 This monkey has sagging lips from having been the victim of a full mouth tooth extraction The monkey pictured above has sagging lips from having been the victim of afull mouth tooth extraction From An Email Correspondence After Being Attacked by a 'Pet' Monkey Author's Name Withheld I had just gotten off the phone and went in to change my capuchin Rus and he attacked me the worst he has ever attacked me. My husband heard me screaming from outside and came in just in time to see Rus flying towards my face. My husband grabbed the baseball bat and knocked Rus off me into a chair and grabbed him by the neck as hard as he could and threw him back into his cage and rushed me to the hospital. I had 31 bites and tears on both arms, hands, legs and my left ankle was hurt the worst and one bite to my left breast. He kept attacking relentlessly, screaming and coming at me. I had just finished changing his diaper, he wheeled around, grabbed the leash off the cabinet door and flew into me screaming and attacking. The authorities were called in, they know it is a monkey, pictures have been made of me and Rus, he has gone into quarantine and after six months, he is going to be put to sleep. They wanted to take his head immediately, and I told them they just could not do that, he is the center of a lawsuit. A set of the pictures, along with a letter is being sent to the USDA authorities now to show that this monkey is being passed from state to state and how vicious he is and unpredictable. The doctor said that because of the severity of the bites, had it been a 3 to 6, 7 or 8 year old child, it would have killed them or they would have needed some serious reconstructive surgery. I thought I looked bad the last time, but it does not even compare. Like my husband said, he would hate to think what would have happened if he had already left for work and wasn't here when it happened. Commenting on the photos on this page, Lorraine, a paramedic who was forced to relinquish her 'pet' capuchin to a primate sanctuary after numerous unprovoked attacks, submitted this testimonial: These wounds look pretty mild compared to the ones I received from Missy, and mild especially compared to the bites received by my son. Once Missy bit my palm to the point where the meat was hanging off I had to put it back in and steristrip it. I still have a hole under the skin from the meat that is missing and the scar she left on my arm would have needed at least 20 stitches if I had gone to the hospital but I took care of it myself with steristrips and tape, because I knew if I went to the hospital they would have had Missy taken away from me. This is only about 5% of the bites I received from Missy. I still feel guilty about the bites my family received because Missy was my monkey and my choice of pet. My daughter and husband were bitten multiple times also. Missy has ripped holes in friends and family clothes as they walked by her cage unsuspecting she would reach out and grab their clothes and wouldn't let go 'til a piece came off. How many pairs of glasses had to be replaced, as Missy just loved to take peoples glasses. She'd think nothing of putting her hand in your pocket taking a $10 bill and chewing it to an unrecognizable mass. Missy left scars all over my body and on my son's hands. I wish now I had taken pictures to let people see how a sweet loving primate can turn violent when frightened or when they feel threatened. She was a wild animal in captivity and was acting out of instinct when she was frightened or felt threatened. I have no one to blame but myself for thinking I could raise a wild animal in captivity. I wish I had pictures of Missy biting or the after affects of a bite to send to all the people who are considering getting a monkey as a pet. Yes, Missy could be very loving, cute give kisses and hugs but the opposite side was much more devastating. I remember being alone with her one day when she bit me and thinking if she bit me in the neck and nicked my jugular vein my family could come home and find me dead. I know this sounds dramatic but the way she can bite a hand or an arm she could bite your neck. It had gotten to the point that I would only let Missy out of her cage when no one was around that she could hurt. So when people say they love animals they should be advised if you love a wild animal you should never keep it in captivity but do everything you can to protect them in the wild and do everything you can to stop the trade of wild animals as well. Baby monkeys and apes destined for the 'pet' trade are literally "pulled" away from their protective mothers when they are only hours or days old. Remember, commercial gain (not compassion) is the breeder's motivation. The infant monkeys/apes and their biological mothers typically suffer depression from the forced separation. "Breeder" females, like the one pictured on the right, are often purposely impregnated at a frequency which can be 4-6 times higher than the species would breed in natural circumstances, leading to serious and often fatal/crippling maladies like hemorrhaging and severe bone mass depletion. "Breeder" females are often purposely impregnated at a frequency which can b e 4-6 times higher than the species would breed in natural circumstances Purchasing an infant primate is always consumerism supporting an unscrupulous (and sometimes illegal) trade. Raised by humans, the baby monkeys/apes never have the chance to develop as they should, thus they become psychologically maladjusted. They have little or no chance of leading life in accordance with their instincts as nature intended...