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Robert M Wilson Last edited: Monday, May 29, 2006 Posted: Wednesday, May 24, 2006 Barking bites An entitlement of suburban living is to have your own constantly barking dog. I grew up around dogs, as many as seven at a time, but our family lived in sparsely populated foothills where occasional barking was meaningful. Barks signified the presence of a usually animal intruder. In suburbia, dogs, who are very social beings, are confined to small yards and long absences by their owners. When I hear them barking, I hear loneliness and sometimes, in small dogs, fear. The animal control department only issues ineffective warnings. Even going to metro court about all-night barking elicited from a judge the response: "What do you expect me to do?" Being sympathetic to the plight of neglected canines, I decided on another approach, not dissimilar to that of well-known dog whisperers. Although not foolproof, the barking dog will often quiet down after hearing a brother barker in the neighborhood. I also have a credible collection of growls, woofs, whines, yaps, yips, moans, snarls, yelps, roars and bays at the moon, to be used as needed. Due to my previous experience, the difference between my canine sounds and the real thing is almost undetectable by the neighbors. I have also noticed that playing the cello has a soothing effect on canines (cats run away). No longer a captive in noisy suburbia, I feel right at home.
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