www.montrealmirror.com/2005/021705/sasha.html
Sasha Cup o' cum Dear Sasha: My girl loves to drink my cum, and so I'm planning to surprise her with a whole glass of it. How can I make my loads more generous, how can I store cum in a glass, and should I refrigerate or freeze it? Feeder Dear Feeder, I hope you don't mind, but I e-mailed your letter around to a bunch of my male-loving female friends, just to get a general reaction, because I sure didn't want to let the fact that I almost vomited reading it to get in the way of my verdict. One friend (who also almost vomited) is convinced that women lie about liking ejaculate. She said, "This letter should be used in high school sex ed classes. The topic: Why You Should Never Pretend to Like Something." Another friend, who loves cum, offered this: "Drinking cum after ejaculation is one thing. The idea of a whole glass that I have to drink because it was a gift is pretty daunting. My general impression is that girls who like cum like it fresh from the source. It's the actual cock-sucking - and seeing you freaking out, tensing up and moaning - that's exciting, not a smudgy glass at the back of the freezer culled from tugging on your knob for a few months. Still, I looked into how to increase your load, and since the only person I really trust to dispense unbiased, accurate and personal information about masturbation on the Web is Betty Dodson, I had a look at her site. On it, she reports, "I've heard of men eating celery to make their cum taste better, taking vitamin E to increase the amount of ejaculate and eating certain other foods, but I don't know for sure if any of this works." Betty also believes a large load and the ability to shoot a few feet are mostly hereditary. So you can try the vitamin E route if you like, but you may run into another problem, and that is this: jerking off a lot, like five or six times a day, will naturally decrease your load. As for storage, I went to some sperm bank and cattle insemination sites for information.
edu/DS089 said, "There are two methods of freezing and storing semen: dry ice and alcohol (-100 degrees F) and liquid nitrogen (-320 degrees F)." Still, 50 to 80 per cent of the little guys die in the process. I realize your goal is not necessarily to keep the sperm alive, but if I were a devoted cum worshipper, I'd certainly want to know that there weren't dead tadpoles floating around in it.
I know your heart's in the right place, but this sounds like a bit of a risky present to me, along the lines of the jumbo butt plug for a first anal sex experience or the surprise birthday hooker. I recently popped open a bottle of Slippery Stuff, that couldn't have been more than about six or eight months old, and realized half-way through this round of wicked sex that my hands smelled like old rubber bathing caps. It was the lube, a lube that you yourself have recommended! Slippery and Stinky Dear S & S, I e-mailed Peggy Hearns, a sales rep from Wallace O'Farrell, the company that makes Slippery Stuff. She wrote back, "This is the first time we have ever heard of a smell from our Slippery Stuff lubricant. There should not be any smell at all, being this is a water-based product." Hearns attached a Material Data sheet for me to look at, and indeed, the first and most prevalent ingredient in Slippery Stuff is water (98 per cent). "What I would like to have happen, if possible," she also wrote, "is to have your reader call us (1-800-759-7883) to see if we can get their bottle back in-house for testing and also send them a replacement. I would also ask them not to use any more until we examine their bottle of Slippery Stuff."
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