news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/this_world/6143010.stm
Printable version Retired husband syndrome Reporter Paul Kenyon By Paul Kenyon Reporter, Japan: Retired Husband Syndrome In Japan it is estimated that 60% of older women have a common problem - their husbands. Having spent years "married to their jobs", retired men are having an extraordinary effect on the health of their partners. Takako Terakawa Takako Terakawa finds that buying teddy bears relieves her stress Takako Terakawa shares her cramped, two-room flat in Osaka with a cat the size of a small child, 400 teddy bears and her husband. The bears are neatly stored, and filed according to colour and size, in a cabinet in her bedroom. Drifting apart Mrs Terakawa suffers from Retired Husband Syndrome (RHS), an illness born of a particular set of social conditions. Women brought up during the 50s and 60s - the baby-boomer generation - are sometimes seen as a commodity by their husbands, someone to do the housework and look after the children. Dr Nobuo Kurokawa If the husband doesn't try to understand, the illness becomes incurable Dr Kurokawa Their husbands may be "salarymen" or white collar workers, who leave home in the early hours, and return merely to sleep. These couples can gradually drift apart, carving out separate lives for themselves. Then, when the husband approaches 60 - the national retirement age in Japan - the wife gradually realises she is going to be thrust into the permanent company of a man who has grown to be a stranger. It is at this point that wives in Japan have started becoming ill, showing signs of both depression and physical illness. "When I thought about my husband being at home, I developed rashes on my body and had stomach ache," admits Mrs Terakawa. "Sometimes just being in the same room as him made me physically sick." The syndrome was discovered by Dr Nobuo Kurokawa who, over the past 10 years, has been treating a steady flow of Japanese women of a certain age with the same symptoms, including depression, skin rashes, ulcers, asthma and high blood pressure. Dr Kurokawa, who has a surgery in Osaka, believes that 60% of older women are affected by RHS and says that if it is ignored, the symptoms will just get worse. "If the husband doesn't try to understand, the illness becomes incurable," he says. Laws of separation In the West, of course, when relations have sunk to such a low, divorce would be a way out. The husbands are completely unaware that they are part of the problem But in Japan, particularly among this generation, it is far less culturally acceptable. Not only that, but a divorced wife has no rights to her husband's pension and would usually be unable to survive financially should they decide to part ways. A change in Japanese divorce law (giving wives a share of their husband's pension) is scheduled for early 2007, but for people like Mrs Terakawa and the others we met in Japan suffering from RHS, they will not be taking that route. This is largely because the syndrome has a strange twist at its core. Many women suffering from it actually want to keep their husbands. Stranger still, the husbands are completely unaware that they are part of the problem. Hidden emotion Seikichi and Yukie Aoyama The Aoyamas are now planning a happy retirement, together One of the other sufferers we met was Yukie Aoyama. Her escape from her husband came in the form of an obsession over young pop star Kiyoshi Hikawa. Her walls are plastered with his image and her diary is organised around his appearances. She sees her husband, a salaryman working away, just once a month - and then just for a few hours. I had imagined a monster, but he was a small, timid man who was genuinely completely taken aback when I suggested his wife might be suffering from RHS. I asked him what he would do if his wife decided to leave him. "It never occurred to me, but I think I would be in trouble," he said. National conversation What really surprised me is that I thought RHS would be something talked about in hushed tones at pensioners' clubs. But, it is actually the subject of discussion between young people on the streets of Tokyo who are determined to learn from the mistakes of previous generations. Coupled with the fact that life expectancy in Japan is the highest in the world - 81 years - it has become a serious talking point. The syndrome has featured in TV debates and is discussed widely in the newspapers. The question is, now that we know the symptoms, how long will it be before Western women of a certain age start suffering from RHS too? This World: Retired Husband Syndrome was broadcast on Tuesday, 14 November, 2006 at 2150 GMT on BBC Two. Here are a selection of your comments on Retired Husband Syndrome. My father retired a few years ago and my mum was in her early 70s. Her family has longevity with no complications whatsoever. My mum has developed high blood pressure and short-term memory loss. My dad loves her to bits but he was always the boss in his business and this adds another dimension to being around the house all the time. He tells her how to do things she has been doing for herself and four children for 50 years! Suzette Clarke, Vancouver, Canada I have developed all of these symptoms during past five years with asthma being the worse. My husband retired and with the added pressure of ailing parents life became extremely stressful. Some of my Japanese friends saw their wives leave unexpectedly one day, usually with the family funds. They called this a NARITA (after the Tokyo Airport) divorce. They are to be found in Hawaii, Australia, Canada and the US. William Cowling, Gilbert, AZ This is also observed with the Indian woman especially in those cases whose husbands have been performing long duty hours. After retirement, women do not like their husbands roaming around all the time. Since Japanese and Indian culture is very similar, retired husbands need to handle women with care. S C K Vaid, Udaipur, India Similar problems have been known for years with wives of Navy men. Wives left at home here on the West Coast are known as West PAC Widows. Then the person who was fun and out to sea changes and the couples find they are strangers. Walter, Seattle, USA I think my aunt suffers/suffered from this. Her symptoms manifested themselves in terrible headaches, lassitude and influenza-like aches and pains in her limbs. My aunt and uncle now do lots of things together, and you'd see them as the ideal couple you want to emulate when you are their age... but she still does all the cooking, cleaning etc that she used to do before he retired. I also think they would both be horrified if RHS was the diagnosis. Nancy, Brighton, UK I suspect that RHS is not confined to Japan. I know of a number of my relatives and friends who said they felt surprisingly stressed and annoyed with their partners when they came to stay - either permanently or temporarily from a long stint abroad or when the job circumstances changed so they were able to spend more time at home. They reported that they felt their husbands were interfering and getting in the way. I recently changed my job role and am away very little now. I have noticed my wife being more snappy and less tolerant of my suggestions.
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