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| 5/23 |
| 2007/2/25-3/3 [Recreation/Dating, Health/Disease/AIDS] UID:45820 Activity:high |
2/25 I hate condoms:
http://www.salon.com/sept97/columnists/unzipped970903.html
\_ I think that condoms, like contact lenses, suck because our
materials technology sucks, and that neither is fundamentally
a bad idea, and will be fine to use in a few more decades.
I think condoms will stop sucking right around the time contact
lenses do.
\_ On the contrary, I think condoms will start sucking in a few
decades, rendering Fleshlight obsolete. Wireless power will
have to work first, though.
\_ Exactly! That's exactly my point! And contact lenses will have
a zoom function, see infrared, and have headsup displays.
\_ I wonder if the author feels the same way 10 years later.
\_ Herpes rules.
\_ I've been in the same boat since before 97 (use a condom
the first few times, give up shortly after cause damn those
things suck) and I've not had any stds. Nor has anyone I've
known. The big STD fear is pretty blow out of proportion
if your risk factors aren't that high. AIDS devistated the
gay world because plenty of gay men had 100s of partners a
year, without any protection. The number of people I've slept
with more that a few times is pretty low, and I bet that's
true for almost everyone.
\_ I code for hobby and pleasure. My chance is 0%. I rule.
\_ I'm sure you don't wear a seat belt either.
\_ It only takes one time with the wrong person.
\_ It does, that's why when the risk is high (random person,
no known history) I use a condom. But really the STD doom
and gloom is way out of proportion to the risk. Seriously.
\_ So the second time? The third time? I hope you're
aware of how many STDs show no signs until it's too
late. And there are others that can be easily
transmitted even with a condom. You're just playing
Russian Roulette with your health. I wonder if you've
ever been tested for anything recently? You could be
infected with any number of things and not know it and
be spreading whatever you have to whoever you've been
with.
\_ Jesus Christ you are thick. It's not a matter of
waiting a time or two to make sure my penis doesn't
fall off. It's a question of not having risky sex
with people I only sleep with a few times. By that
time I've gotten to know someone a bit, know that
they most likely have the same kinds of policies
and know that, considering we both get tested every
few years, that hey, the risks are fairly low.
The fact is if you aren't in a high risk group STDs
are really PRETTY DAMN RARE. Yes you can refuse any
risk and always use a condom, but you know what, tons
of people don't and if the risks were unreasonable
you would know a hell of a lot more people with
STDs.
\_ The number of women with HPV is estimated to be
25%. HPV is asymptomatic. If you're having sex
with an American woman your odds are 1 in 4 of
being exposed to HPV. And the kicker is you
wouldn't even know it and can easily pass it on.
Cervical cancer for all your partner, nice of you
to share that. I shouldn't have to explain any
further how your choices are extremely likely to
lead to HPV and likely several other STDs. It is
true that two people in low risk groups are by
definition at low risk for STD transmission. The
thing is *you* are not in a low risk group. Have
a nice day.
\_ Someone is bitter that they never get laid.
Someone has also bought into the great HPV
scare. How sad.
\_ Someone has never lived with a woman, or
has never heard of a PAP smear, or knows
pathetically little about STDs to call this
widely known data a "scare".
From the CDC:
Approximately 20 million people are
currently infected with HPV. At least
50 percent of sexually active men and
women acquire genital HPV infection at
some point in their lives. By age 50,
at least 80 percent of women will have
acquired genital HPV infection. About
6.2 million Americans get a new genital
HPV infection each year.
I think you'd be shocked to see the numbers
for herpes type 1.
\_ Herpes type 1 is a cold sore. Hardly
something where condom usage matters.
\_ Huh, the immediate above poster needs to visit Health class again
in junior high/ high school / college. HSV TYPE 1 and HSV
TYPE 2 will both happily in your groin area. They will
happily be passed through condomless sex. It is true that
condoms dont 100 percent block transmission, but it does happen.
It is true that HSV TYPE 2 is USUALLY not passed to the mouth
from genital->mouth transmission. About 25-30 years ago
the health prof. community really did differentiate between
the two viruses as 'type 1 is a mouth cold sore' and
'type 2 is a cold sore on your groin area' but I will
state 100 percent no question that all knowledgeable health
professionals do not believe this. type 1 and type 2 are
both herpes cold sores. You're just kind of unhappy when
you have an outbreak of either on your groin. A lot of people
have one AND two on their groin area. Fun. The only difference
between the two is the outbreak rate. People with type
1 on their groin might only get 1 outbreak their entire life.
The evil thing is even when you're not having an outbreak,
you can be transmitttablle. People with type 1 on their lips
usually get one outbreak per year. People with type 2 on groin
get an outbreak every 3 or 4 months. It all varies. Type 2
on lips hardly ever get outbreaks. Their are some differences
in severity of initial outbreak. The good thing is
Hepres wont kill you. Have fun.
And as to HPV, yes I know about
pap smears. But the HPV is harldy
a big deal. Seriously. Less than
1 hundredth of a percent of the female
population is diagnosed with with
cervical cancer a year. If 1/4 of
the population has HPV (the numbers
I've seen are > 1/2 of sexually active
adults) then gee, maybe it's not like
it's on the same leauge as a real STD.
By great HPV scare I'm talking about
people who are sad that AIDS is no
longer as an effecitve way to try
to scare people into abstinance (and
do you remember when herpes was being
used the same way?) are trying to
do the same with HPV. The difference?
HPV ISN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
Oh and PS, condoms don't really protect
against HPV that well.
\_ So you don't seem to know that you
can get type 1 herpes in your mouth,
which we call a cold sore, but also
on your genitals *and* in your eyes.
\_ Actually I do know this, but
I also know the vast majority of
herpes 1 is oral, and so bringing
it up in this context is well,
stupid. Then again since neither
my girlfriend nor I have any
form of herpes it's not really an
issue. But you know what, my
advice to you is live in fear,
take a bleach shower after every
sexual encounter and I'm sure that
will all work out well for you.
\_ Type 1 is mostly oral and can
be transmitted to the mouth,
groin or eyes of your partner.
It is not a trivial event to
be so easily dismissed. You keep
talking about living in fear and
tossing around direct personal
insults of various sorts instead
of relying on any sort of pesky
facts in an effort to justify
your risky decisions. Hey, guess
what? You're not the only one
getting laid in hs, college, or
after college. Some people get
lucky and stay healthy, others
don't. I used to think like you
but fortunately I got smart
before I got unlucky. Maybe the
same will happen for you.
Probably not since there's even
more bad stuff out there than
when I was 'dating' and it
sounds like you're less careful
than I was, which isn't saying
much. I find it interesting
that you avoided all questions
about sharing info and what
you'd do in various cases if
either of you knew beforehand.
Would you kiss a girl with type
1 oral herpes? Would you let
her bj you? Why or why not?
When you or your gf have an outbreak
of type 1 genital herpes I don't think
either of you will be happy to know it
is "only" a cold sore. And, yes the
fact that HPV can spread even with
condom use should make one rethink
their plan to have a large number of
short term partners instead of a small
number of long term. Now that you've
made it clear you don't give a shit if
you transmit to someone, would you tell
them if you had something before having
sex or just figure it's ok because in
your opinion it's no big deal and just
a CDC conspiracy to control our sex
lives? If she had something and told
you before would you still have sex
with her? If not, why not? After all
it is *only* type 1 herpes, a mere
cold sore. I'll restate that you are
correct that two low risk people are at
low risk for transmission in either
direction, but you are not one of those
low risk people you're talking about.
\_ Dude, I had sex with at least 50
\_ Dude, I had sex with at least 500
women before I got married and
settled down. I often used a condom
but by no means all of the time.
I never caught herpes (either type),
or chlamydia, or aids or syphillis.
Not everyone is infected by your
fear and paranoia. Sure I took
risks, but they were calculated
risks, but they were careful
risks and I was fine. Real life
is like this everyday. -!dans
is like this everyday. -!pp or op
\_ The Author married the next year:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/yr7zh2 (NYT)
\_ Correction: She met her future husband the next year; they
got married in October 2000.
\_ So, presumably she never caught an STD.
\_ This is an unfounded assumption.
\_ Okay sure. But the presumption that she has
herpes today is even less likely to be true.
\_ I find it hilarious that someone
feels the need to qualify this
by saying that they're not me.
-dans
\_ Yeah, I was worried that your
fans might think that you had
only had 50 lifetime sex
partners and stop worshipping
you. (Actually, the real
reason is that someone changed
my 50 to a 500 and then signed
your name to the bottom, so
I changed it back to 50 and
signed it !dans, but my first
answer is funnier) -!dans
\_ You've got a funny notion
of what constitutes funny.
Though it's amusing that I
have achieved psb's level
of infamy. -dans
\_ lol there are 2 tenured Cal professors who think AIDS is not
transmitted sexually.
\_ http://csua.org/u/i4s -DANH
\_ http://csua.org/u/i4s -PSB
\_ http://csua.org/u/i4s
\_ I know some slutty gay guys who have had unprotected sex as a bottom
with dozens of partners and are STD free. Just because you win the
lottery doesn't mean you will keep winning the lottery, "Luck can't
last a lifetime unless you die young"
\_ Only the good die young. -bjoel
\_ Don't take credit for my lyrics
you fuck. -bdickinson
\_ Am I the only one who appreciates the irony of a flame war on the
CSUA motd over STD's? I mean, generally speaking the CSUA is not
the place one frequents to get laid. I mean, yeah, there are
exceptions, but in general... -dans
\_ You weren't here in the good ole days... -!dans
\_ So, what, you fucked ahm? lila? Or are you suggesting that,
in the 'good ole days' the CSUA would convert the machine
rooms to gay bathhouses? -dans
\_ No, I think it is amusing that you can only think of the
csua from a guy's perspective. Plenty of women used to
frequent the CSUA to get "laid." They would probably deny
that this is what they were here for, but the end result
was the same. Personally, I dated at least four different
csua women (if you use the strict definition of csua
member == csua account holder), but I know quite a few
women who make me look like a piker. Don't you guys have
groupies anymore? -!dans
\_ Probably, but I was never that into CSUA groupies.
\_ Probably, but I was never that into CSUA herpes.
Turn it around to the guy's perspective, why chase
after the one or two groupies that all the other geeks
are swarming over? -dans |
| 5/23 |
|
| www.salon.com/sept97/columnists/unzipped970903.html T A B L E T A L K U N Z I P P E D the dirty little secret about condoms Everybody hates them and nobody uses them. C O U R T N E Y+W E A V E R a while ago, I wrote about how angry I was that none of my friends, straight or gay, seemed to take condoms or HIV infection seriously. They would use condoms once or twice with a new partner, all the while talking the big talk about how "necessary" they were, how you never "knew" anyone's sexual past, how condom usage was yes, a drag, but it was "fine." And then, suddenly, after two or three times, they didn't use them. Did they suddenly feel like they knew the person well enough. Condoms are anathema, pure and simple, and no amount of hectoring or preaching or even patient teaching is going to change that. It's like an expensive scratchy sweater -- you know it looks good on you, but somehow you're going to find every excuse not to wear it. column, and I realized that I had bought into the whole lecturing posture. If I said it strongly enough, maybe even I'd believe it. I hate the way they smell, the way they feel inside me, the coitus interruptus. I hate the way the latex odor clings onto our hands afterwards, more potent than garlic. I hate that I can't go down on him after he's put one on, and I hate that after he takes it off, I still can't go down on him unless I want my mouth to be filled with a chemical numbness rivaling any oral anesthesia known to man. It was our third time, still that awkward period, trying out new positions, talking about what we liked, wondering how much we could ask for. Did he like it doggie style, did I like to talk dirty, was I multi-orgasmic ... no, really, do you like that or are you just trying to please me? It was mid-morning, and the sun was streaming over the back of his thighs; I rolled him over and began to dutifully peel off the little nasty rubber, all gooey, that latex smell high in the air. "OK," I said, thinking this was an interesting, if slightly disturbing, turn of events. I could just hear all my gay male friends howling in derision, "Oh, of course he doesn't come in condoms! Well, there are plenty of times that women don't come, and nobody makes a federal case out of that. This was just one more reason, another scratchy tag on the expensive sweater, not to use them. Oh, sure, we could do other things to make him come -- jack him off, go down on him, the usual. I already knew that the next time I'd be prepared: diaphragm inserted, HIV test results in hand, a request for the same. It was foolhardy and stupid and our parents would be horrified. But I knew that somehow we'd make that leap of faith into a condomless world and never look back. The heretical truth is that I simply don't believe I'll get AIDS. I don't know any straight person who's been infected with HIV, either through needles or sex, and I don't know anyone who knows anyone who has. I suspect most straight people of my generation secretly feel the same way, whatever they may say. Unlike my 23-year-old sister's generation, mine doesn't believe the hype. We haven't had it drummed into our heads since we were 8 years old that having sex without condoms is like sleeping with Satan. Admitting to hating condoms is a terribly unpopular position to take. But anyone who says otherwise is either over 50, under 30, celibate or lying. Do you look for ways to excuse yourself from using the glove of love? |
| preview.tinyurl.com/yr7zh2 -> query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9C04E0DA163DF932A35753C1A9669C8B63 Article Tools Sponsored By Published: October 1, 2000 Courtney Weaver, a writer, and Simon James Frankel, a lawyer, were married yesterday at their home in San Francisco. Judge Pierre N Leval of the United States Court of Appeals in Manhattan, for whom the bridegroom had been a clerk, officiated. She is the author of ''Unzipped'' (Doubleday, 1999), a book about dating and relationships. She graduated from Brown University and received a master's degree in creative writing from New York University. Her mother, Dianne Weaver, lives in San Francisco and is a principal in Town & Company-Morgan Lane, a real estate company there. Her father, David Weaver, who also lives in San Francisco, is a lawyer. Mr Frankel, 37, is an associate at Howard, Rice, Nemerovski, Canady, Falk & Rabkin, a San Francisco law firm specializing in intellectual property. He is a summa cum laude graduate of Harvard University and received a Master of Philosophy degree from Cambridge University, where he was a National Science Foundation fellow in the history and philosophy of science, and also a law degree from Yale Law School. His parents, Louise and James B Frankel, live in San Francisco. His father retired from Cooper, White & Cooper, a law firm there, to which he was of counsel. It is not often that a date begins with a request for a nondisclosure statement, even if made in jest. But in this case, a lawyer was going out with a former sex and dating columnist. But Ms Weaver was a little taken aback when told of Mr Frankel's profession. They played telephone tag for two weeks trying to fit a dinner into their schedules. Finally, Mr Frankel suggested a date to which Ms Weaver agreed. Then he said he was only 80 percent sure that he could make it. Their meeting, at a Thai restaurant on a rainy January evening in 1999, went well. They impressed each other favorably in the charm and wit departments. And Ms Weaver assured Mr Frankel that he would not need a nondisclosure statement. |
| csua.org/u/i4s -> www.dermis.net/dermisroot/en/53331/image.htm Hidden links: 48. |