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| 5/23 |
| 2006/11/6-7 [Recreation/Dating, Computer/SW/Apps/Media] UID:45198 Activity:kinda low |
11/6 What do you guys do when you have continual impure thoughts?
I will not elaborate what they are but I can't seem to get
my mind off of these thoughts.
\_ http://www.moonmac.com/Mormon_masturbation.html
\_ Nuke the motd.
\_ impure thoughts? this is a joke right?
\_ No I'm serious. There's a really cute blond girl at my work
place. I have absolutely no interest in her except for sex.
She's a bit fat but otherwise very cute. I'm obsessed about
having sex with her and that's all I can think about at work.
It's driving me nuts. By the way masterbation works!!! -op
\_ http://csua.org/u/he6 Code Monkey song for you.
\_ masturbate. duh. not joking. suddenly, you can concentrate on
other things again! amazing! (sex obviously the preferred option,
but somehow i'm guessing that's not a viable option for you)
\_ CRACK ONE OUT, BABY.
\_ I had sex twice on Saturday night, came home and masturbated
4 times (Sunday), today I am up to #5. Tomorrow I have
to badger people into not voting for the abortion
notification proposition so I won't have a lot of time. - furious
\_ This is kind of insane. Are you sure you don't have a brain
tumor which is causing insane sexual desire? Maybe you should
see a doctor. Or exercise a lot. I find that 2hrs/day of
exercise suppresses libido.
\_ I'm running late this morning so I googled for
"Brianna Briggs" and had myself 1. Gotta start my
day now. - furious |
| 5/23 |
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| www.moonmac.com/Mormon_masturbation.html Yours forever, Paul C Preffen STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION Mark E Petersen Council of the 12 Apostles Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once. But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. If you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines: A Guide to Self-Control: 1 Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal toilet processes. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Never stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present. By the time you started to remove protective clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your thinking that the temptation would leave you. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it. As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated. Suggestions: 1 Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge. Until you commit yourself to never again you will always be open to temptation. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming tempting situations. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, God and others. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc. If you have a lapse of self control, color the day black. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities. In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy. When we associate or think of something very distasteful with something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable. If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the act. For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of them as you do the act. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage being alone in total privacy. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and not binding. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme cases. In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half asleep. A quarter in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. The joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment. Pulsating dildo image certified wankers have been here, including you. |
| csua.org/u/he6 -> www.jonathancoulton.com/2006/04/14/thing-a-week-29-code-monkey/ This is not autobiographical, but I did indeed used to have a job writing software. I affectionately referred to myself and my co-developers as code monkeys, especially when a client asked me a question that I didn't want to answer ("What do I know? Now this part is important: tomorrow morning I leave for a week long vacation in a sunny place, and I don't know how easily I'll be able to access the internets. I think it's unlikely I'll be able to get anything posted, so I'm giving you notice now: I'm taking the week off, I think. If I am in fact unable to post anything, I'll refund a dollar to all you paying subscribers. The rest of you will just get nothing for nothing, which seems fair. April 16th, 2006 at 3:04 pm I swear to God, I have no idea how you not only write a great song each week, but have such fantastic production values. Seriously dude, I'm hitting the tip jar again after Code Monkey. I noticed that your previous one was released under a creative commons license, but this one was not. Are you planning on continuing to use CC for these pictures? April 16th, 2006 at 7:32 pm Jon, this was without a doubt the *BEST* description of the geek experience that I've ever heard. The silent defiance of authority figures, the wishes for a simpler life, the social awkwardness and the comfort foods. I can't remember the number of times I've thought "maybe you should just write the goddamn thing yourself!" However, I think this song is worth two Things-A-Week, and you shouldn't have to refund any money. Nevermind that I'm a cheap SOB who hasn't given you a dime, I just stop by once or twice a week for updates. It's just too funny how your musice seems to fall along my life right now. The curling (Im not only a fan, but I actually curl), and now code monkey. I've pointed some of my programmer friends to this one, after pointing the Columbus Curling Club members to "Curl" last week. I am digging at a constant rate, and will eventually reach China or Rocktopia. Rick Springfield meets Pat Benetar meets Jonathan Coulton on the music, there. Beneath the picture, write, "Code Monkey very simple man with big warm fuzzy secret heart" or some other phrase from the song that works. Enjoy the Vaca, Eric PS pronounced with a hard A, like in vacAtion, not a soft a, like the Spanish word for cow. April 18th, 2006 at 9:30 am QUOTH ERIC: PS pronounced with a hard A, like in vacAtion, not a soft a, like the Spanish word for cow. Hey, you don't know -- he could be, at this very moment, enjoying a Spanish cow. If there wasn't an anthem of the teems of software engineers and programmers around the world (could still be slashdotted)... I haven't heard much of Jonathan Coultron's stuff but if this is any indication, he is a genius. April 24th, 2006 at 3:08 pm I was listening to this song on my iPod on a bus on the way to NYC, so I started singing (so I thought) quietly to myself. But then I pulled out a bag of Fritos, and the ten-year-old sitting next to me exclaimed, "CODE MONKEY like Fritos! April 24th, 2006 at 4:09 pm I hadn't heard of this before a friend started playing it in the campus center to the CS majors, because it was put on slashdot, but once I heard it I must say, this is amazing. suscribed to the podcast and downloaded all the previous ones too, very talented songwriter, and this one's geekiness is just amazing. April 24th, 2006 at 5:54 pm That is the best song I have heard in a long time. In fact it is my new theme song - replacing "Head Like a Hole" by Nine Inch Nails. April 24th, 2006 at 6:01 pm Jonathan, Your song is the new anthem of our little gang of programmers at KSU, as well as my new personal anthem (as both a student, and professional programmer). This CodeMonkey get up get coffee, CodeMonkey listen to song, then go to job. April 24th, 2006 at 7:47 pm Found this through Slashdot and had it running through my head all day. Rare combination of clever (and *very* insightful) lyrics and good music. I'm not a code monkey (it's worse - I'm a documentation monkey) but a lot of the people I know and love are. Thanks for a bit of humor to ease the stress of an impending release date. April 24th, 2006 at 10:26 pm What we really need is a black metal song about programmers, THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. Still, great song considering the limitations of your chosen genre :p Highly funny song :) ico2 :) 78. Az nce dinledim ki eglenceli ve hos bir sarki mzik olmus. Az nce de grdm ki Jonathan Coultonun Code Monkey'si wikilenmis. Bir de gzel izim eklemisler ki, su gnlerdeki duygu ve dsncelerimi yeterince aikliyor bu eglencelik seyler. As a proud code monkey myself, this song is an anthem to all of us. Posted below are the lyrics, and I'll give you a link to the song. Released under the creative commons license, so feel free to share the love! April 25th, 2006 at 1:12 pm I'm a programmer and I play World of Warcraft. I have a level 60 rogue on the Firetree server named Codemonkey that I have been playing for about 10 months now. Someone on the server showed me a link to your song which we traced back to you. My only guess is that the positive feedback for the task must be internal. In anycase, there has to be something that makes not just me but thousands of Code Monkey's like me going to work from day to day. Though we're getting faster with Photoshop, we are undeniably coding monkeys at heart and we recognize that we can't rely upon our judgement alone. Originally, we would ping Seth and a few close friends for feedback. Today, we like to gather everyone's input before making design decisions. We scout the forums, emails, and the blog for recommendations (we've heard the "meebo" button icon has been a source of confusion recently). We also gather different perspectives from within the team. Simon values his computer real estate and prefers thin window borders and frames, Andrea has taken things to a new extreme by asking her daughter's track team to evaluate some new meebo icons, Seth likes things simple and uncomplicated, and Jian has an appreciation for technical details like the slider divider in the IM window. April 26th, 2006 at 9:15 pm OK, I know you have gotten TONS of praise for this, and I need to share in that. But I also want to know if this is "podsafe" meaning, is it cool to play this in my podcast if I point people to your site? I think my podcast listeners are perfectly suited for this song and I really want to play this at the end of my next show. I usually listen to classical music, but I know good music of all types when I hear it. After hearing it on the MacCast podcast, I had to get a copy. Enjoyed it so much, I downloaded your album from iTunes. It is known as Autie Boy and is written by Susan Senator. Did you ever think of getting the Code Monkey lyrics - or a favourite part of the lyrics - on a T-shirt? April 29th, 2006 at 5:48 am Just heard this on Adam Curry's Dailly Source code #376 Spookily I was in the middle of writting some Java (University assignment). First time I been here, but it ain't going t be the last. Quick question whats the differance between the MP3 link or buying the song? May 3rd, 2006 at 10:23 am I just got back from a 10 day vacation in Flordia and the Bahamas/Bermuda. Reality is really hard to stomach after relaxing like that. As a recent forced convert to non-sugared sodas (diabetes), I note that _diet_ Mt Dew (my favorite drink)works as well as "Tab and" Mt Dew. In fact, I think I'll just sing THAT in my head from now on since the rest of the song works so well. Yes, I am a code monkey, and work with a bunch of other code monkeys - it's a jungle out there... You should have heard the howls of laughter when I played this song at work. Jonathan Coulton is having a contest for a new cute monkey t-shirt design. For anyone who doesn't work in an IT department, Code Monkey is a term that is often used to refer to someone who does computer programming. For this over-40-year-old code monkey (who's married and drinks diet coke now), that song takes me right back to my younger, prouder, coding days when I dreamed longingly of every sweet girl I couldn't quite get up the nerve to ask out. Gotta say I like this song b... |