| WIKI | FAQ | Tech FAQ | |
 http://csua.com/feed/ | |
| ||||||
| 4/3 |
| 2006/10/23-24 [Recreation/Humor] UID:44932 Activity:moderate |
10/23 Chuck Norris on Chuck Norris jokes
http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52567
\_ This says to me: Chuck Norris can do everything but take a joke.
\_ Wow, thanks. I've just lost all respect for Norris.
"...the real cause of all diseases - sin" Fucking dumbass.
This bolsters my absurd predjudice that grapplers are smarter than
strikers.
\_ I love the cognitive dissonance between "the Bible tells me I really
can do all things" and the very next question where he says only
Jesus can do XYZ.
\_ What do you expect? He is anti-evolution. (See a few lines up.)
\_ How is it cognitive dissonance to say "Jesus can do all
things, even allow me to do all things [he wants me to do]?"
(Which is what they really mean when they say that.)
\_ Did you miss the word "only" above?
\_ There is no contradiction here. You missed the logic.
\_ Chuck doesn't use the word "only" there in his article.
\_ There is no contradiction here. You missed what he's really
trying to imply.
1: Chuck Norris really can do all things.
2: Only Jesus can do XYZ.
1 & 2 implies: Chuck Norris is Jesus.
1 & 2 imply: Chuck Norris is Jesus.
Of couse Chunk Norris said in the article he is not Jesus. But
there is still no contradiction. That's because Chunk Norris
really can do all things, include denial of being Jesus.
there is still no contradiction. That's because from (1), Chunk
Norris really can do all things, including denying being Jesus.
\_ Can Chuck Norris make a burrito so big even he can't eat it?
\_ Then again, there was a banner ad for http://www.nukalert.com
right under that. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. -John
\_ Manliness-- |
| 4/3 |
|
| wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=52567 WND Exclusive Commentary On Chuck Norris 'mania' sweeping the Net Posted: October 23, 2006 1:00 am Eastern Have you heard of the "Chuck Norris Facts"? There are more than 50,000 jokes making their way around the Internet that purport to be "facts" all playing off my movie roles as a "tough guy" and my history as a martial arts champion. But they aren't "jokes" to those who spread them - they're "facts." Here are a few of my favorites: * "When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris." He stares them down until he gets the information he wants." These "facts" have become a phenomenon - a fad spread mainly by young people of high school and college age. It's hard to explain why these things happen - how they take on a life of their own. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these one liners will prompt some one to seek out the real facts about me and the beliefs that have shaped my life and my career. While I have as much fun as anyone else reading and quoting them, let's face it, most "Chuck Norris Facts" describe someone with supernatural, superhuman powers. And in the history of this planet, there has only been one real Superman. Let me illustrate using a few of the claims being made about me in the various lists of "Chuck Norris Facts": Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Faster than a speeding bullet ... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises." As six-time world karate champion and then a movie star, I put too much trust in who I was, what I could do and what I acquired. If your whole life is spent trying to make money and you neglect the people important in your life, you will create an emptiness deep in your heart and soul. I had a huge hole in my heart and was miserable until I met my wife, Gena, who brought me back to the Lord. Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We were made in His image, which separates us from all other creatures. But with Him, the Bible tells me, I really can do all things - and so can you. Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases - sin. If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood. Again, I'm flattered and amazed by the way I've become a fascinating public figure for a whole new generation of young people around the world. And even the toughest characters I have played could never measure up to the real power in this universe. Contribute your favorite Chuck Norris Laughlines in the newest WND Forum - beginning today. Chuck Norris is the star of more than 20 films and the long-running TV series "Walker, Texas Ranger." His book, "Against All Odds," tells the inspirational story of how he overcame abject poverty from childhood, the effects of his father's alcoholism and desertion of the family, and his own shyness and lack of strength and ability early in his life. |
| www.nukalert.com HTML The NukAlert(TM) is a patented personal radiation detector and alarm. Small enough to attach to a key chain, the device operates non-stop, 24/7 and will promptly warn you of the presence of unseen, but acutely dangerous levels of radiation. Used nationwide by federal, state and local first responders, law enforcement and the Dept. of Defense, the device is the ideal solution for increasing individual security and awareness of radiological threats. It will be very reassuring to know, with confidence, when you and your family are out of the worst danger. Tested & Verified by Naval Air Warfare Center * Always "ON" 24/7, Includes long-life 10+ year battery * Detection Range: 100 mR/hr to 5,000 R/hr, * Metering: 100 mR/hr to 50 R/hr, in 10 calibrated ranges * Proportional Increasing Chirp Rate: 50 R/hr to 5,000 R/hr * Gamma and X-rays from 20 keV to above 2 MeV * Sensitivity incl. ODP Bulletin #168 (PDF) 5/19/2005 "The current Washington status symbol is not a congressional parking pass but a $160 NukAlert(TM) radiation detector key fob that looks like a garage door opener but beeps like a Geiger counter when background radiation levels become dangerous." SPECIFICATIONS: * Detects Gamma & X-ray radiation: 20 keV to 2+ MeV * Detection Range: 100 mR/hr to 5,000 R/hr * Sensitivity: 100 mR/hr to 50 R/hr indicated in 10 ranges * Proportional Increasing Chirp Rate: 50 R/hr to 5,000 R/hr * Indication: Repeating groups of rapid countable chirps * Operational indicator: faint "ticking" = operating OK. NEW Battery Replacement Program * Detector: Patented CdS photo resistor coupled to a rare earth phosphor scintillator * Housing: hermetically sealed, radiation transparent, abrasion resistant ABS plastic * Accuracy: Within +/- 1 chirp * Response Time: Dose rate dependent: + 3 - 4 min. |