9/9 Is it "ok" for a guy in a relationship to go to a movie with a
friend who is a girl? There are no romantic feelings between the
two, at least the guy (me) definitely doesn't have any. Is
a movie outing too close/date-like? Thanks.
\_ My baby momma still lets me hit it.
\_ I went to a movie with my ex. Girlfriend found out. Girlfriend
broke up with me. So... I should have either informed
gf I was going to movie with ex, or thought a little harder
and just not have gone to the movie in the first place.
Might not be worth the risk.
\_ fucking YES. next question. Who are you? You are
too boring to live.
\_ 'splain yourself, boy. -op
\_ Did you have a previous more-than-friend relationship with said
girl? The answer may still be "yes," but you may have more Damage
Control to do before and after. -married and been there
\_ If it is ok with your gf, it is ok. If it is not ok with your gf,
it is not ok. If you are ok with it not being ok, that is ok. If
you are not ok with it not being ok, get new gf.
\_ I hereby cede my time to this person. Good advice. -married
\_ Seconded. --not married, but been there
\_ and if you are ok with it being not ok you are fucking
pathetic.
\_ not necessarily. if she did the same thing would you be
ok with her having some 'date'-like activities with some
other guy? i'll bet you wouldn't. goose/gander. if you
just want to keep her around as an easy lay, then it
doesn't matter what you do if you've got this other thing
going on anyway, but if she's actually your real gf then
what she thinks matters. welcome to grown-up land.
\_ Of course I'd be ok with it. That's why it is grown-up
land. We are grown up enough to trust each other and
not be raging jealous bitches. And we are grown up
enough that we wouldn't settle for a relationship where
the other person doesn't trust us.
\_ I don't think trust is the issue.
\_ So what is the issue? If the other person's sex
is the major issue then the only reason I could
see that being a problem is that one SO doesn't
trust the other enough to hang out with friends of
opposite sex. The implication being that some
kind of cheating is going on. If that's not
a lack of trust I don't know what it is.
\_ The issue is feelings. Someone can trust you but
still feel bad that you're spending time with
someone else. Anyway, I think there are a lot of
marriages that wouldn't have ended in divorce if
there were fewer temptations available. The
ideal "100% trust but didn't get cheated on"
marriage is a nice thought but just isn't going
to happen because people are people.
\_ I will admit that if I'm in a serious
relationship I do want to be a major part
of someone's life and that means at least
being invited to most social events they
have going on. However that doesn't mean
all events, it's important to have a life
outside of the other person. And lots of
the time we have friends the other person
doesn't get along with, or that enjoys
doing things my SO doesn't really like.
And if you notice in the original question
his friend's sex was the main factor. Once
again if what you are doing is fine with a
friend of the sex you don't want to boink
it should be fine with the other. And
if your SO thinks otherwise you really
should have the guts to let her know that
that isn't cool.
\_ All true. It still comes down to your SOs
feelings, cool or not. I said way up there
that if your SO isn't ok with it and you're
not ok with your SO not being ok with it,
then get a new SO. It isn't an easily
reconcilable(sp?) difference. Telling her
that being jealous isn't cool is going to
do what? Make her either get pissed off or
get quiet about it. Either way you just
damaged your relationship. Her feelings
are not going to change to your way of
thinking by telling her she's being uncool.
\_ And if you are the kind of person who
ok with being in a relationship with
someone who is that jealous and
controlling you are pathetic.
\_ Good luck in divorce court.
\_ See, I'm smart enough not to
get married to someone who is
going to be jealous of my friends.
\_ If you'd like to think that. It
sounds more like you bullied her
into silence or she was a doormat
in the first place.
\_ Trust, t's a two way street.
She trusts my relationships with my female friends, I
trust hers with her male friends. Is it so hard to
imagine that a serious couple can GASP have friends
of the opposite sex without cheating on one another?
If so I feel really sorry for your girlfriends because
you need to learn to give someone their own space.
\_ So your gf has 'dates' too?
\_ How many times do I have to say it? Yes.
\_ The feelings people are talking about are pretty
natural. Not that they would always be there, but
it's not some weird abnormal person to possibly feel
hurt/jealous etc. about such situations. Fact is that
many male/female friendships do have an underlying
romantic interest on the part of one or the other.
Human nature. That's in general though, if you think
you know your SO that well and honestly both have
friends of opposite sex that you like to hang out
with on date-like activities (while in a
relationship) then that's up to you. It's not the
norm. If you're still "dating" various other women
it sort of implies you're still testing the waters
in some ways and something better might come along.
You could go do stuff with a male friend; there's
no real reason someone has to "learn" to give you
space to date other women.
\_ If I'm "dating" them then I'm dating my guy
friends too. What you do on a date and what
you do hanging out with a friend are pretty
much the set of things. Just because someone
has a vagina doesn't mean I hang out with them
because I want to get in their pants. Is that
really so hard for you to accept?
\_ No, but that's not what I said. (And most
people aren't gay for their guy friends.)
\_ So do you really think most men want to
sleep with their female friends?
\_ it's okay if you're gay
\_ I went with a long-time female friend to see As Good As It Gets, had
dinner at a restaurant, and went to my place afterwards. Nothing
happened.
\_ Years ago a long-time female friend asked me to go see As Good As It
Gets. We went, had dinner at a restaurant, and went to my place
afterwards. Nothing happened. Neither of us had a relationship
back then. (Come to think of it, maybe I screwed up.)
\_ Ah yes. All the pussy you could have had if only you'd had
a clue. |
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