www.whitehouse.org/tours/index.asp
INSTANT FBI SECURITY CHECK, all White House visitors are advised to familiarize themselves with the following rules and regulations prior to purchasing tour tickets: * At President Bush's insistence, a STRICT DRESS CODE (at right) is enforced at The White House. Visitors not in compliance with the code upon arrival will be denied entry. Furthermore, persons with photographic memories may be required to submit to one or more harmless injections. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
Secret Service-approved model for the duration of their visit. Persons under the age of 18 left unattended will be subject to a vigorous body cavity search. Suits: Suits are required attire for all persons possessing a penis. The following color and fabric combinations have been deemed acceptable: dark blue and wool, navy blue and wool, dark gray and wool, charcoal gray and wool, and dark brown and wool (fall only). Persons attired in suits made of silk, crushed velvet, velour, terrycloth or low-quality merino blends will be denied entry unless bearing contributions. Dresses: Everyone may wear dresses so long as they are women. Short dresses or mini-skirts are acceptable, providing the wearer is under 28 years of age and possesses legs free of unsightly cellulite dimples and/or varicosities. Women who are heavy-set, elderly, or otherwise aesthetically impaired will be required to rent floor-length floral print housecoats prior to commencing the tour. T-Shirts: T-shirts are permitted, providing any message emblazoned on them is appropriate for the White House. Acceptable messages include alcohol, tobacco or firearm-related expressions such as "Eat the Worm," "Chuck Heston is MY President," "Absolut Spring Break," "Marlboro Race Team" or "Highway 420." Unacceptable messages are typically leftist and pinko slogans such as "Save the Whales," "Solar Power Now," "Free Mumia," or "My Parents Went to Texas, And All I Got Was This Lousy Lethal Injection."
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