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| 2005/12/4-6 [Politics/Domestic/RepublicanMedia] UID:40846 Activity:kinda low |
12/3 Oh the irony!
http://mediamatters.org/items/200512020005
\_ As always:
http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com
\_ What value could the opinion of someone with a URL like that
possibly have? If I wanted High School level ideas, I'd go
visit a High School.
\_ whereas Ann Coulter is teaching grade 6.
\_ doesn't help this other guy any. if she's that stupid,
just ignore her.
\_ It's not an "opinion," it's just fucking hilarious. Go get
a sense of humor.
\_ why would i go to a site with a name like that? im sure
we just have a different idea of whats funny. do you
laugh at "yermom" jokes too?
\_ I've read it, and it's not hilarious. It's just kinda
sad.
\_ It says more about you than Coulter. Coulter has serious
problems. The guy who wrote this has worse problems. A
person who read it and found it funny has even worse
problems. Seek help.
\_ The last one's bullshit. You can find humor in it
without "needing help." Twit.
\_ Ok, I went and read it. It was just boring. There
was maybe one half decent line in it but otherwise
it was sophomoric trash. The followup comments on
the first page or two were all one liners going
off about how brilliant it is but it just isn't.
I'm happy to leave it at "your sense of humor is
remarkably different than mine". Ask yourself
this: if the same piece were written with different
names and reverse political point of view would it
still be "fucking hilarious" for you or the other
commenters? I doubt it.
\_ Sigh. When you have to explain humor, it's no
longer funny. The joke works *because* someone
as nonsensically rabidly anti-liberal as Ann
Coulter could only be this driven if she had as
huge a well of repressed feelings as this satire
purports. No, it wouldn't work if it were Michael
Moore and some Young Republican because we all
know lefties are perverts anyway (that, and the
imagery would be terribly unsettling). Yes, the
website and its title are puerile, but yes, it's
funny.
\_ Puerile: yes. Funny: nope. It's only funny
if you spend more than 10 seconds a year
thinking about Ann Coulter and you share a
sense of humor with the typical 16 year old.
"He said 'puerile', heh heh heh!" Not funny.
Anyway, Ann, Moore, and all the rest are super
rabid because it makes them money. If you
seriously believe they're that rabid in real
life in private, I've got a bridge for you. |
| 7/28 |
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| mediamatters.org/items/200512020005 Ann Coulter on the show to discu ss "far-left smear websites." O'Reilly introduced the segment with a dec laration that "we are closely watching far-left smear websites to make s ure they are held accountable for damaging people," but he noted that "o ur policy is not to name the websites, because, well, they're beneath co ntempt." He then claimed that "smear sites" "intimidate people with whom they disa gree. They really want to just bludgeon anybody with whom they disag ree." After mentioning Media Matters President and CEO David Brock, Coulter att acked such websites, calling them "little Nazi block watchers," stating: "They tattle on their parents, turn them in to the Nazis." She complained that several conservative pundits have security details wh en going to speak at college campuses and stated, "No liberal has to hav e security. documented, Coulter has said, "I t hink a baseball bat is the most effective way these days" to talk to lib erals. Finally, O'Reilly and Coulter resoundingly agreed: O'REILLY: All right. From the December 1 edition of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor: O'REILLY: In the "Unresolved Problem" segment tonight, as we told you la st week, we are closely watching the far-left smear websites to make su re they are held accountable for damaging people, something they do on a regular basis. Now, our policy is to not name the websites, because, well, they're bene ath contempt. O'REILLY: Yeah, but on a policy basis, what they're trying to do on thes e far-left smear sites is intimidate people with whom they disagree, an d then choke off their ability to get their message out. I mean, freedo m of speech means nothing to these people. They really want to just blu dgeon anybody with whom they disagree, or am I wrong? I mean, the one thing that perplexes me is why they want to keep me off only CNN. O'REILLY: Well, they know that Fox isn't going to play their game. O'REILLY: Yeah, they know Fox isn't going to play their game. COULTER: Well, I think it's an excellent use for George Soros's money to keep republishing the things I say on CNN. O'REILLY: OK, but to answer your question, CNN is perceived to be a left -wing outlet, and they don't like your voice on the left-wing outlet. B ut, you know, aren't liberals or far-left people supposed to be champio ns of freedom of speech? They tattle on their parents, turn th em in to the Nazis. O'REILLY: See, this is why they don't want you on CNN there. They don't -- COULTER: Coincidentally, Sean Hannity doesn't want me on CNN either. If you go speak at a college campu s, I promise you, if you don't have a security detail, they will physic ally attack you, because they are the party of ideas, and they're so in tellectual their ideas just can't fit on a bumper sticker. You know, ev erything else they're always saying about themselves. But when it actua lly comes time to formulate a counterargument, all they can do is throw food. And I -- look, in my own case, I have to have security, and obviously -- COULTER: Any conservative does. O'REILLY: Yeah, but I think liberals, some -- well, I don't know. Look, there's no question -- COULTER: No liberal has to have security. Do you believe t hat these smear sites on the Internet are encouraging violence against you and others? I think what mostly encourages violenc e is their incapacity to formulate an argument. O'REILLY: So you don't believe that they actually want to see you harmed , these left-wing smear sites? I think they want to keep me off CNN because -- I do n't know why it's just CNN. I' m going to have to start my own petition to keep Ann Coulter off all st ations. SG *The Forums/Comments will be available in the near future. The O'Reilly Factor When contacting the media, please be polite and professional. Express you r specific concerns regarding that particular news report or commentary, and be sure to indicate exactly what you would like the media outlet to do differently in the future. |
| ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com I Fucked Ann Coulter in the Ass, Hard Sunday, April 24, 2005 The Farmers Market on Fairfax and 3rd is a Los Angeles landmark, attract ing tourists and everyday Angelinos alike, as well as many famous faces. Among the celebrities I have seen there are Muhammad Ali, Terri Garr, T yra Banks, Laura Linney, Keenan Ivory Wayans, the guitarist for The Cult , Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, and Weird Al Yankovic. But Ann Coulter is the only celebrity Ive ever spotted at Farmers Marke t that I wound up fucking in the ass, hard. It would be fair to observe that my feeling obligated to present the list of celebrities above in roughly Black-White-Black-White order is indica tive of my own carefully Liberal sensibilities. And that this sort of co nscientiousness is more than a little ridiculous, on examination. But wh at I notice about myself only on reflection, Ann Coulter seemed to recog nize and respond to in an instant, like a puma recognizes an injured gis elle. I first spotted her sitting at a table in front of The Gumbo Pot with ano ther woman who looked not unlike her, but a generation older (I neglecte d to ask her at any point subsequently whether this had in fact been her mother). I vaguely recognized hertheres always a lag time placing fac es you know from cable when unconfined to a telescreenand began to noti ce, stealing furtive glances up from the copy of Steinbeck I was reading , that she was eyeing me with unsettling scrutiny. Its a fantastic primer for vacuous proto-Communists everywhere, she sa id dismissively. I dont have enough ink in my pen to keep a running list of what you dont know. Ann Coulter evidently takes an unappreciative v iew of small talk. That she was eager to continue antagonizing me became evident when I re-opened my recently-insulted book to resume reading. Youre probably too high to remember that, so write it down--if you ca n write. He looked at her with dismay and scampered away like a kicked cat. What do you think of the war: complete success, or very nearly complete success? Well, in no timebarring the strong possibility of Civil War--well have a democratically-elected anti-US Islamicist government in charge of the worlds second-largest oil reserves, so Id have to say only very-nearl y, on the complete success scale, at a hysterically distorted best. I think that Support Our Troops business is the most crass, craven cow ardice ever to go unquestioned by the allegedly Liberal media. It allows the Administration to absolve itself of responsibility for its own flawed policy. Its no different than if you sent a classroom of 2n d graders into a burning building, and when anyone objects you throw in their face that they "dont support our 2nd graders" Where do you live? I was thinking youd have half-burned American flags up on the wall, sh e said, disappointed. Whatever you think that means, she said, rolling her eyes. Dont you h ave anything nasty to say about the President? Like hes an imbecile, or corrupt, or a corrupt imbecilethe usual sore- loser bitter chatter. To be honest, I didnt like the nasty things that were said about Clinto n, and Ive decided to have respect for the Office, no matter who holds it. I dont think President Bush is corrupt or an imbecile anyway. I think maybe this was a mistake, she said, starting to go. Thats not to say I dont disagree strongly with many of his policies an d objectives. With every point I expressed that ran counter to a view she held, she rem oved one article of clothing. Soon she sat on my couch naked, gently pul ling at her untrimmed pubic hair, staring intently but not quite invitin gly at me. The growing hard lump in my throat was just outpaced by the o ne in my pants. I was a little nervous because we had agreed on the last two pointsthe need to reconsider the option of nuclear energy, and dri lling in the Arcticand I noticed her oversized nipples were no longer h ard. What do you think, she began provocatively, of the Presidents plan to privatize Social Security? this was as sure a promise to seal the deal as her asking if I had a condom. I think its a payoff to the Americans the President has always been mos t intent on pleasing: the richest 1%. She pushed me backwards and po sitioned my legs up in the air. A stocks value is even now only partially tied to the actual value of a ny publicly traded company. But whos going to profit from inflated valu ations when stock prices swell irrationally from the forced, artificial injection of capital? Her breath was hot on my taint as she lifted my scrotum. You might as well shoehorn billions of dollars into the Baseball Card ma rket. The price of a Derek Jeter rookie will be driven up to hundreds of thousands of dollarsbefore the bubble bursts and the whole market cras hes massively. It was getting hard to stay on point as she tongue-fucke d my shitter vigorously. The top 1% will sell stocks at the inflated valuations to the novice inv estors-by-necessity, the market will swell and crash, and the same 1% wi ll come back and re-purchase their holdings at pennies on the dollar. Me anwhile, Social Security will go bankrupt and all the novice investors w ill be eating catfood for the duration of their "golden years,' barring a massive Federal bailout several hundred times in excess of what the S avings & Loan scandal cost us. She sprung up on the couch on all fours and looked over her shoulder at m e She pointed to her twitching, puckered anus. I spit on my skeezer-pleaser and, prying her ass cheeks apart like a hot dinner roll, drove it home, into the biggest browneye I had ever seen. Every thrust of my babymaker was met with a wren ched squeal as I grabbed her by the hips and began really leaning into i t Harder! dont really agree with much of his stance on Israel, and-- Youre slowing down! I went back to punishing her asshole, giving no thought whatsoever to com passionate conservatism as her chocolate socket gnawed on my pork pipe. My pace quickened as my man-magma b uilt towards eruption. she gasped, sensing the fuse on my yogurt cannon was burning quic k I want to take you ass-to-mouth! I withdrew from her puckerhole with an audible pop and she scrambled ar ound, gulping at my wang-dang-doodle as though the lives of all her love d ones hinged on her marks for enthusiasm. Her eyes rolled up pleadingly as she threw her head down again and again on my magic johnson. There is a specter haunting Europe, I began, and she started to convuls e spasmodically with her own thrashing orgasm, her head now dribbling in a blur against my groin. I repeated every Karl Marx quote I could think of until I reached my own historic inevitability and launched surge a fter surge from my hairy boda bag. I ejaculated with what seemed like en ough force to blow out the back of her head--but her head was made of st ronger stuff. She sputtered, gobbled and gulped what Id have to call a very liberal, even radically so, quantity of hot splooey. Once she caught her breath, she wiped her mouth, stood, and took me by th e hand. Her tone was that of someone reminding another of something too obvious to need mention. Uh, so I can get in the tub and you can piss all over me? Youve really got a gift for tedious small talk, she shot back. I was a little hurt and, recognizing this, she softened just a shade as s he reached for her purse to leave. She let herself out without another word, and I sat in the late afternoon silence alone. I considered how it felt to be a disposable instrument i n someones personal debasement fantasy. |