9/27    Dear motd, my best friend (married guy) with whom I haven't
        spoken with and emailed back for the longest time, wrote back
        with a depressing tone. Basically for the past few months
        his company has been shipping him to other countries to train
        employees abroad, and his wife screams that he doesn't spend
        enough time at home, and his kid misses him. He is depressed,
        and I feel pretty much helpless. What can I do or say to make
        him less depressed? Thanks.
        \_ Marriage therapy time.  There's nothing more you can do or say
           or suggest.  It's not like his pet rabbit died.  His marriage
           is falling apart.  Either his wife is a selfish idiot or he's
           a selfish idiot if he has a high travel job that he doesn't
           actually need.  She may also be concerned he's out there doing
           those "cheep. foreign. hos." as someone suggests below, which
           isn't an unreasonable thought.  You're only hearing his side of
           it.  Suggest therapy and then STFU if you ever want to talk to
           your friend again.  Do not bag on his wife.  He'll tell her what
           you said and then you're toast.
           \_ While therapy is a fine idea, it doesn't help the immediate
              problem of him travelling. There are a few key ideas for
              solutions. Communication: have friend talk like it's going out
              of style to wife when on the road. See if the company will pay
              or change cell phone plan. They need to feel involved in each
              other's lives. Off-time: Take a vacation between travel times.
              Recharge relationship with family. Limit travel: Yeah hard to
              do, but see if they can send someone else for a few trips.
              Change jobs: Rather radical, but your work should not be your
              only life. Concentrate on family during non-travel time: If
              you can't take a vacation, get involved like crazy during your
              non-travel times. Therapy: If they can't talk, they can't figure
              things out. Good luck best friend.
        \- cheep. foreign. hos.
           \_ partha, are you gay or straight?
              \_ The psb transcends your petty binary notions of sexuality.
                 -psb fan #6
                 \_ I have an ointment that clears that right up.
        \_ The job market's improving in some sectors; start looking for
           something else.
        \_ He needs to ditch the bitch and find someone who appreciates
           how hard he works to keep them in house and home. It's too bad
           about his kid, but the world is a harsh place and not everyone
           is lucky enough to be born rich.
           \_ Once again ranga gives out yet another useless advice.
        \_ communicate, my friend.  She needs to understand he travels
           only when he has to and current job market demands a lot from
           an employee.  I have obseved that when a woman complains his
           man is not spending enough time with her, it usually means she
           is bored.  She needs a job or a hobby that consumes her.
           \_ Thank you this is very useful. Again thank you, and god bless.
              \- the problem with the wife is not her being bored, but
                 her being a utility monster. [if you google "utility
                 monster" you may need to throw in "nozick" to avoid getting
                 truck-related WEEB pages].
        \_ I doubt your friend is very happy traveling either.  His wife
           complaining about his travel is just an extra stress on top of
           that base stress.  (Women like to complain about things, even
           when they can't be changed.  Men usually mis-interpret this to
           mean that their wife thinks that they are a bad husband.  This
           is not usually the case, but it does stress men out.) I don't
           know how much you can really help, he probably just really
           misses his family and hates traveling, but feels trapped.
           Hence, depression.