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| 2005/8/2-4 [Recreation/Dating] UID:38923 Activity:moderate |
8/2 Dear obliviously happily married for 9 years guy-- how's the sex life?
What do you do about it?
\_ Have sex! Be respectful, sensitive, honest, and adventurous.
\_ Not as good since my wife has been gaining and losing pounds at the
wrong spots. -- some other guy
\_ Here's a wacky question: Am I the only guy whose tastes are
aging along with my body? I'm not saying I'm not attracted to
an 18yo hard-body, but women my own age are simply much more
attractive.
\_ My tastes are aging, but not as fast as I am.
\_ Ditto. What's hard for most women is that after 45 or 50
they lose their ability to have babies and thus lose
sex appeal. That's a generalization, of course, but I
can't imagine being 65 and being physically attracted to
a 65 year old as much as I would be to a 35 year old.
However, looks aren't everything.
\_ Um, I think it's safe to say the loss of sex appeal has
nothing to do with the ability to have children.
Has the fact that in our culture sexual attraction is
completely conceptually divorced from having children
completely passed you by? -- ilyas
\_ I don't think that is always true under the surface.
\_ I don't think that is true under the surface.
\_ I don't think that is true under the surface. -foo
\_ Yeah, I really think it is. What about beautiful,
but sterile women? What about fertile ugly
women? Have you ever been, you know, attracted
to someone? Are you some special kind of
Christian or just stupid? -- ilyas
\_ I think you are confusing a hidden common cause
(the breakdown of the body due to aging) with
directional causation. -- ilyas
\_ Well, this is a kind of subtle subject to
go on about on the motd. I'll just maintain
that I don't think the ideas are "completely
divorced". Obviously an animal wouldn't be
able to learn the concept of being sterile
on that level. However I think I saw some
study where if partners go without children
for too long then attraction is harmed. So
I wouldn't be surprised if there was a subtle
biological link. But there's also an
intellectual link in humans. Humans are able
to understand explicitly the "child bearing"
qualities of a woman, and nowadays can
understand the sterility thing too. I think
that sexual attraction or at least excitement
can definitely be affected by ideas related to
getting pregnant. I'll leave it at that. -foo
getting pregnant. I'll leave it at that.
Oh and I'm not a Christian. I don't give a shit
if you think I'm stupid. -foo
\_ The idea being that whether or not a beautiful
woman is sterile we are hardwired to want to
breed with her. I'm talking about primal urges,
not about 'attracted to someone'. We find
younger women sexier because they can give us
babies. I disagree that sexual attraction is
divorced from having children. The two are
tied together fundamentally, even now.
\_ Ok, I am afraid I stand by my assessment of
your argument. Animals and people cannot
afford to be attracted to binary attributes.
The reason is very simple, almost any adult
animal is fertile. Being attracted to
fertility itself means the engine of
natural selection cannot function. Thus,
animals are attracted to 'secondary
characterics' that correlate with producing
a lot of fertile offspring (the biological
definition of fitness). Notice that this
definition has nothing to do with fertility
of your mate per se. Or rather, the
fertility of your mate is the bare minimum
that isn't even taken into account by the
forces of attraction, because it is _assumed_.
Are you a Christian? Your argument smacks of
the kind of vague feel-goodism you get from
certain kinds of Christians who see God's plan
in everything, without truly understanding
what it might be. -- ilyas
forces of attraction, because it is
_assumed_. Are you a Christian? Your
argument smacks of the kind of vague
feel-goodism you get from certain kinds of
Christians who see God's plan in everything,
without truly understanding what it might
be. -- ilyas
\_ Being attracted to fertility itself
is the reason dirty old men like
nubile young women. You can feel
free to disagree, but this seems
fundamental to me. There is no
biological gain having sex with a
female partner over 50.
\_ Do you honestly not see the fundamental
flaw in your logic? -- ilyas
\_ No. Please point it out.
\_ Your argument: 'Old men like
nubile young women. Nubile young
women can have children.
Therefore old men like fertility.'
This is fallacious. -- ilyas
\_ Your opinion. I don't
see any flaw in the
logic, though.
\_ Uh, wow. Mr. Gerasimatos,
you are one amazing guy.
-- ilyas
\_ Thanks. Now prove to
me why line #3 *cannot*
follow from #1 and #2.
It's an observation,
not a mathematical
proof. Whether it is
fallacious or not is
only your opinion. You
are saying that #3 does
not necessarily follow
from #1 and #2, but
your statement that
#3 is thus fallacious
does not follow.
\_ Maybe you should
reread what the PP
originally said. His
point seems far less
extremist than your
interpretation. -mice
\_ No, mice, at this
point I am staggering
from the 'I see no
flaw' comment.
\_ Hmm. Okay, up
to that point,
I think you're
a little off in
your read -- but
I'll concede that
the PP seems to
wander out into
the weeds after
that point. -mice
\_ For the record,
I think pp is
wrong in a
wider sense as
well, for
reasons I
stated. Almost
all animals are
evolved well
enough to be
healthy and
fertile as a
norm. Thus,
the great
reproductive
game is
centering around
centering
around
how well
reproduction
will work, not
whether it will.
whether it
will.
-- ilyas
\_ I disagree.
I think
animals
have
preferences,
too. There
is an age
at which
animals
are too
young or
too old
to be
considered
good
partners
for
breeding.
\_ Old men like nubile
young women. Nubile
young women can eat
prunes. Therefore old
men like regular
bowels. -geordan
\_ Stop -- you're turning
me on! Oh geordan,
you animal, do I have
an unexpected *back
door* delivery for
_you_!!
\_ Depends how much you believe in the
Selfish Gene.
\_ Stifler's mom.
\_ Exactly -- I don't find her attractive at all.
\_ Great. We've learned over the years how to pleasure each other
more and more. I know what makes her happy and she knows what makes
me happy. --9 years happily married
\_ I haven't been married for so long, but I've found sex with long
term girlfriends gets better. Practice makes perfect.
me happy. --9 years and happily married
\_ Sex is always better with the long term girlfriends when
you're married. |
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