4/4     In addition, one-third of the multi-ethnic 9th graders surveyed said
        they intended to have oral sex within the next six months and nearly
        one-fourth planned to have intercourse during the period. It was more
        common for boys to have performed oral sex on girls than vice versa,
        the report said. ... "Given the suggestion that adolescents do not view
        oral sex as sex and see oral sex as a way of preserving their virginity
        while still gaining intimacy and sexual pleasure, they are likely to
        interpret sexual health messages as referring to vaginal sex," wrote
        lead author Bonnie Halpern-Felsher, a pediatrician at the University of
        California, San Francisco.
        \_ Well sure. I PLANNED to have oral sex in the next six months when I
           was in 9th grade. Does that mean it actually happened?
        \_ Bubba says:  "I did not have sexual relations with that woman,
           Ms. Lewinsky."
        \_ This dovetails nicely with the study that showed that abstinence
           only sex ed has led to a rise in teens experimenting with oral and
           anal sex.  I don't think anyone who is advocating abstinence only
           actually cares if it is more or less effective in public health
           terms - they are motivated mostly by religious concerns.
        \_ I planned to have oral sex in 9th grade, but didn't get any. These
           kids are often full of shit. What would *you* have written on
           such a survey? "I am planning to give oral sex to the Virgin Mary
           in the next 6 months."
        \_
In the Year of Our Meow 1765, a lone Mao farmer was out in his field,
tilling the land and planting seeds. Farmer Mao wiped his brow with his
sleeve.  The hot sun beat down on his form.  He was new to farming and
growing Mao vegetables, as he had just recently graduated from the local
chapter of Mao High.  He had decided to go into farming because he loved
the earth, loved the soil.  There was nothing like the warm, soft scent
of sun-beaten or rain-drenched soil.  He had studied to make sure that he
could provide his soil with the best nutrients and minerals, and that in
turn, his plants would grow healthy, with great vigor and production.

He had only been farming for a year, but his first crop had exceeded
everyone's expectations.  The tomatos were ripe and red, and the avocados
were oily and sweet.  The students who ate at Mao Cafeteria that harvest
gave their thanks every day to Farmer Mao.

Now, he was beginning to plant seeds for next year's crop.  He checked
and re-checked his lists twice, making sure the soil had all the proper
nutrients needed to sustain life giving vegetables.  As he was going over
his soil composition, one of the local school kids waltzed up.

"Hi Farmer Mao!"

"Hi Xiao Pang!"

"Whatcha doing now?"

"I'm preparing for the growing season coming up."

"Yummy. I like your vegetables Farmer Mao.  I think they're the bestest
veggies in the whole Mao Universe!"

"Thanks, Xiao Pang.  They're not that good, but thanks."

"Yes they are! yes they are.  Why I bet they're better than the vegetables
they have out in the real universe, where the Meow's buy their farmer market
veggies!"

"Don't talk like that Xiao Pang.  We can't compare Mao Universe veggies to
those vegetables."

"Why not?"

"We just shouldn't, is all."

"But why?  Our teachers say that all we have to do is study really well, and
specialize, and we can be one of the Mao's that get to go to the real universe,
like Nu Li Mao, Mao Mi, Xiao Cu Shi Mao, and Guan Guan Mao!"

"Well, that's what your teachers say.  But realistically, there are 50,000
Mao's.  50,000!  And there are only 5 Meow's.  You'll learn one day, the
odds are that you won't be able to ever see a Meow."

Xiao Pang's face fell.  He looked down and shuffled his feet.  "Well, then
I'll be off now," he mumbled, and ran away towards the trees.

Farmer Mao watched his dwindling form disappear in the sunlit haze of his
field.   He sighed deeply.  He remembered when he had first discovered the
bitter truth.  It had been much later in life, during his high school years.
One day, the teacher had told them to write essays about what they planned
to do after graduation.  He had been dreaming about going to Mao Jia and
becoming an expert gardener Mao to help Meow with her beloved flowers.  That's
what he told the teacher.  The teacher handed his essay back with a big, red
"F" emblazoned across the paper.  "Be Realistic!  You will never get to go
to the real Universe.  You are just another Generic Mao!  Find a small job
in Mao Universe, and that's what you will be for the rest of your Mao days!
Don't you realize that only a select few Mao's ever make it to Mao Jia?  Stop
sticking your head in the clouds and be realistic!"

That night, Farmer Mao had cried his eyes out. And not just that night.  Farmer
Mao had cried for weeks.  Whenever he thought of his future dashed, he felt
sad.  One day, walking back from high school, his tears flowed freely once
again.  Droplets splattered against the brown dirt.  He bent down to pick
up some soil, and inhaled deeply.  The moist, earthy scent filled his lungs.
He would become a great farmer, regardless, he decided.  He put aside all
dreams of ever going to see a Meow and set his heart into farming.

4/4/    any good bay area rock-climbing or hiking clubs?
           \_ "I'm planning on giving myself oral sex within the next month,"
               is about what I would have said in 9th grade.
              \_ Classmate of mine back in 9th grade tried demonstrating
                 the above in class.  He didn't quite make it, but claimed
                 that it's feasible when it's erect, which seems believable
                 considering how close he got.
                 \_ Given a limber enough body or long enough penis, it's
                    always possible.
        \_ Damn, it's a good thing you can't get diseases or someone pregnant
           by "planning" to have different kinds of sex in the 9th grade,
           otherwise I could have exposed myself to more diseases and created
           more bastards than Wilt Chamberlain.  Turns out a lot of the "plans"
           went no where, go figure!