www.gourmandizer.com/ezine/albini -> www.gourmandizer.com/ezine/albini/
ezine menu Steve Albini Interview W hat are the differences (physical and spiritual) between kielbasa and Italian sausage? "I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fac t, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table." Dangerfield's comments notwithstanding, my life is at the stage where work has replaced everything else, including sex. For this reason, I fe el like quitting the racket and opening a snotty little cafe with my bu ddy David Yow where we can cook what we like and serve it to a handful of discriminating guests. C an you think of a way to utilize the top of a pineapple? I n Associated Press style, "utilize" means "to press into service in a manner not usual or intended." Since pineapple tops' only usual or inte nded uses are to top off pineapples and Latin showgirls, anything done with one would satisfy your question. Not as much fun as wholesale deforestation of old-growth timberlands. P lease tell us about a memorable experience you have had in a restraunt . I f by "restraunt" you mean "restaurant," then I can relay the following two anecdotes. A: Bob Weston, his squeeze Carter Nicole Launt, their friend Tara and I were eating at one of Chicago's many Greek bistros. One specific busboy /water glass filler/greasy little man-of-perplexing ethnicity made it a point of brushing Nicole's boob or shoulder when he refilled her water glass (which he did about every 22 seconds). Then I noticed that he was turning his body in such a way that his actual pecker was what was rubbing her as he leaned over. I didn't say anything, so they're reading about it for the first time. B: Julia Child visited the kitchen of an overly snobby expensive restaur ant where a friend of mine worked. The chef there was an old acquaintan ce of hers, and he was a little drunk. He was showing off to the staff, trying to impress everyone by being chummy with The J In the 1970's, after a bout with breast cancer, one of Julia's boobs had been cut off, and this guy knew which one. There, in full view of the patrons and st aff, he poked a fork at her prosthetic boob and bit at it, making mock gobbling and biting sounds. O f all the bands you have worked with in the studio, which one had the most interesting or unusual eating habits while they recorded? T he band Ut, three strange women and a hired-gun drummer, drank a ridic ulous number of medicinal herbal teas (including a sage infusion that s tank like old socks), depending on the mood that each song required and the state of their individual hormones and menstrual cycles. He does not enjoy it, but his stomach seems to reject any food with either color or flav or. Polly Harvey (PJ Harvey) ate nothing but potatoes, with occasional sauce s, during the entire recording of her Rid of Me album. KK Null of the ferocious Japanese band Zeni Geva had, over the course of a two hour celebratory dinner, the following: whole tiny fish (raw), s limy transparent algae strands, raw horse meat, fish sperm sacs, soup w ith spherical croutons made from tofu scum ("Fu") and "Natto," a pile o f uncooked rotten moldy soybeans mixed with raw egg. Many rock musicians are excellent cooks, I've found, and those that are prefer to eat their own cooking in the studio. I encourage this behavio r as I also enjoy the benefits of fresh food. The best rock music chefs follow,in descending order of excellence: Laura Fuckin' Carter (Jack o Nutz, also Bar b que Killers) is a head chef at a gourmet restaurant i n Athens, Georgia. Her best dish is Trout Wellington, which she invente d and perfected. It is a whole brook or large rainbow trout baked in a puff pastry and served with light sauces. David Yow (The Jesus Lizard, Scratch Acid) who has been a chef at several restaurants in Austin, Tex as and Chicago. His best dishes are Whiskey Chicken and Large Number of Vegetables Soup, both of which he invented. Pete Conway (Flour, Rifle Sport) can make palatable food out of anything. I have seen him cook a week's worth of meals, cat ering to three different diets (one vegan, one fish-sensitive and one c arnivore) with nothing but a stone and two twigs in the kitchen. D escribe your last two relationships with women in terms of food. The woman I am currently crazy about was a vegetarian for a year until I started dating her. As is the case with most vegetarians, she had neve r eaten properly prepared meat, only commercially packaged or otherwise abused flesh. Since I really only enjoy food ripped off the carcasses of dumber, weaker species, she got to see a wide variety of meats prepa red in many ghoulish fashions. Eventually, her curiosity overwhelmed he r, she tried some and now eats all manner of dead things. The relationship immediately prior to that one was very short lived, and pretty much devoid of any interaction other than a range of sexual act ivities, including several that might fall under the "gourmet" or "glut ton" mastheads. Let's just say I was probably her most significant sour ce of protein.
I f you could ask any animal a question about their eating experiences a nd get a subjective answer, what would this question be? I t really bothers me when people misuse the pronouns "they" and "their" . The non-specific third-person pronouns are "he" and "his". If you wis h to avoid offending the dogmatic imbeciles who claim such pronouns imp ly cultural sexism, then change all your sentences to the plural and yo u may use "they" and "their" to your coddling, timid, bleeding heart's content. It amazes me sometime the length people will go in order to take offense at something, jettisoning perfectly understandable plain English for c oquettishly popular and faddish political reasons. The answer to the question you thought you had posed is this: Of a dung beetle I would ask, "Why bother?" Of a tapeworm, "Do you ever wish you could dine in a more formal setting?" He often wrote of his fondness for the shellfish and other seafood from the Baltimore and Chesapeake b ays. He fondly recounted many memorable meals of beef and game, and wro te of his appreciation for beer and strong liquor. I would like to hear his thoughts on the nouvelle c uisine, that silly cul-de-sac of bad taste which substituted tiny food on small plates painted with sauces in place of a meal. I would also li ke to hear his thoughts on the dreadful trend away from using even mode rate amounts of oil or butter in cooking. In my opinion, this sort of d ry, dismal non-cuisine is for people whose fear of their own mortality has trumped their common sense and common senses.
HL Mencken Responds D escribe the most enjoyable meal you have ever had. One payday, when I could no longer hack the horrible working conditions and minuscule p ay, I quit. The new job h ad a delayed pay period that is I got paid for two weeks work after an additional two weeks passed and I realized that I would have no vittl es money for a month. I bought a huge bag of rice and a huge bag of pin to beans, and I lived on them for a month. Four weeks later, on the eve ning of my first payday, I spent about an hour in the grocery store, pi cking out the most fantastic sirloin steak and vegetables, and cooked t he best meal anyone in the world had ever eaten. Then I ritualistically threw the remainder of the rice and beans out the window and composed this song: "The Anti-Rice and Beans League Theme" I don't like rice (da-da da da) I don't like beans (da-da da da) I won't eat them together. The Chef rolled up a cart to our table, allowed me to select a cut of beautifull y aged beef, lifted a pair of cleavers, and with a musician's fluidity, chopped it into a puree as smooth as butter. He then did the same with some garlic cloves, black peppercorns and a bouquet of herbs. He then blended the ingredients with the cleavers, adding a raw egg, a lemon se gment and a bit of salt. He spiced the meat with some paprika and sprea d a dab on a crouton for my approval. I don't think I have ever been fe d so graciously or eaten as well. D o you have any dietary advice for young bands trying to establish them selves? Road food is terrible because the roadside eateries know the feeders will be hundreds o...
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