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org Date: Wed Nov 03 14:21:01 2004 Scared of being drafted? With the military's anti-gay stance you have four ea sy options for dismissal. So when Uncle Sam send you your papers just ch oose to: 1) Shag a fag - The nation is full of man ass in need of fulfillment. Think the image of a twig and berries hanging between a pair of hairy m an's legs will keep Biff from getting stiff? Well modern science has pro vided us with the wonderful miracle of Viagra. Just pop a pill and Littl e Bill will be standing up and saluting you in no time. Then just stick it to Mick, take a pic and send the image snail mail back to your recrui ter. You rejection will come faster than a gay man fucking Vin Diesel. There are an equal number of male mo uths as there are mens asses. That said, if youre not into a hairy dingl eberry back attack, consider a full frontal assault. I know what youre thinking, Some scruffy faced guy's mouth on my cock? There are from five to ten clean shaven gay g uys in the Greater Portland area. The gay community should be able to gi ve you their names and addresses. Then approach one of these guys with y our proposition (hell say yes, clean shaven gay men are notoriously skan ky). I recommend any Jenna Jameson video to help get you in the mood and forget its a dude slobbin your knob. Now if these dont work to get you out of service then you recruiter is de sperate for body bag filler. And desperate times Set up that camcorder a nd: 3) Take it up the bum chum There are millions of nerve endings in your bu nghole. So IF YOU HAVE TO go this route, at least know youll get some pl easure out of it. An ex of mine would slip her finger in there while she blew me, and it always sent me over. So just imagine the feeling youll get from Todds rigid rod giving your prostate a high five! And the best thing about this, since youre facing away you can always imagine its Sal ma Hayek with a strap on Im gonna need a few minutes. Youve got to: 4) Give head to Ned So youre at Boot Camp and things look bleak. Keep you r chin up kid, cause youll soon have balls flying toward it, and shortly there after, youll be on your way home. Millions of gay men, and untold number of those wonderful goddesses called women, have an intimate know ledge of two close friends: Kneel and Bob. First buy some dye remover to get rid on the ugly green in your fatigu es. When youre awakened at 04:30 don your swanky new duds and report for inspection. Your Drill Sergeant (lets ca ll him Charles) will definitely notice. Simply drop to your knees, make a grab for his pants, and try to suck Drill Sergeant Chuck. After a few months recovering from the beating you receive, youll be free to go.
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