5/10    You arrive at work.
        There is a mailbox here.
        > run outlook
        You have contracted an Outlook Virus.
        Your Inbox is full of emails from your friends wondering why you
        are sending them huge attachments.
        > claw out the eyes of your IT department who forced you to use Outlook\
        I don't understand 'claw.'
        You are in danger of being eaten by a grue.
        > go north?
        You are at the copy machine.
        There is some IT dork here photocopying invites to his Ren Faire
        pre-party.
        The IT dork drools on you.
        > talk to dork
        His name is Tom Holub, a total l0zer. You ignore him.
        Tom says: "Do you really think I'd be a Ren Faire type?"
        Tom gives you a twink point.
        > kill tom
        You slash him with your blessed antique samurai sword.
        You wish that you would stop bleeding!
        You wish that you would stop bleeding!
        Tom is here.
        > strip pants
        The Tom appears confused.
        > take xerox paper
        You are now burdened.
        Tom gives you a twink point.
        > give xerox paper to tom
        Tom does not want the Xerox paper.
        A PHB has entered the room.
        > bend tom over
        What do you want to bend Tom over?
        The PHB asks "Where are your pants!?"
        > strip tom's pants
        Tom goes away to complain on the motd.
        The PHB seems agitated.
        > apply ky on tom
        Tom is not here!
        > bend phb over
        Not while burdened!
        The PHB recites the University's sexual harassment policy.
        The PHB has exited to the east.
        > go east
      It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
              \_ hey this isn't an iraqi torture thread
        \_ uh, do you really think I'd be a Ren Faire type?  -tom
        > kill tom
        You slash him with your blessed antique samurai sword.
        You wish that you would stop bleeding!
        You wish that you would stop bleeding!
        Tom is here.
        >strip pants
        \_ What is PHB anyway?
           \_ 'Pointy-Haired Boss'.  Used to refer to a clueless middle
              management type.  From the Dilbert character of the same name.
        > search
        I don't understand that.
        > search room
        You find a box of Fruity Crack.
        > take box
        You have a box of Fruity Crack.
        It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
        > go north
        You are in the Ladies' Restroom.
        There is a Hot Receptionist here.
        The PHB is here.
        > drop xerox paper
        You are no longer burdened.
        > grab receptionist's chest from behind
        The Hot Receptionist screams.
        The Hot Receptionist slaps you.
        The PHB recites the University's sexual harassment policy.
        The PHB has exited to the south.
        > quit
        Your score is 0 [total of 585 points], in 19 moves.
        This gives you the rank of Beginner.
      \_ does anyone really find this amusing?
           \_ yes
         \_ yes, my coworkers are looking at me funny
      \_ http://thcnet.net/error/index.php To the Source, motders!
      \_ Can we upgrade to a more erotic version of the game?
        SodaZork 1.1 beta
        > run outlook
        There is a sexy mailbox here.
        > open mailbox
        The mailbox contains:
        Viagra
        A porno magazine
        > take viagra
        Taken.
        > w
        It is pitch dark. You are likely to be sodomized by a grue.
        > eat viagra
        As soon as you swallow the Viagra, you notice the package says
        "sugper viagrga".
        Nothing happens.
        Two hot chicks have entered the room.
        > look chicks
        The hot chicks smile seductively at you.
        It is romantically dim.  You are likely to be sodomized by a grue.
        > set porno magazine on fire
        You have no means of ignition.
        The hot chicks make pouty faces at you.
        >
        \_ ok, as i recall, in the real zork you only got two warnings about
           darkness before being eaten(sodomized) by a grue.  At this point,
           the player should be dead, having failed to generate light with the
           burning pornos.
        > lay hands on chicks' waists
        You have been sodomized by a Grue.
        Your score is 0 [total of 585 points], in 38 moves.