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Whenever I go out, all I see is "girl love handles" (GLH) hanging over low-rise jeans. Someone needs to tell women who are overweight, tubby, fat, or just not properly proportioned to STOP wearing jeans that show off or create rolls! Just today I saw a girl who would have been attractive had it not been for her damn low-rise jeans. No one wants to see fat rolls hanging over the tops of jeans or bulging out from under belly shirts! Seriously, women, there really are only a select few of you who look good in these jeans. Just between you and me and everyone else, I simply can't believe we're headed for a third summer of low-rise jeans, high-rise shirts, and overflowing GLH. Low-rise is not a fashion statement we Americans should be making just now, what with our skyrocketing rates of obesity. If North Americans want to flounce around in belly-and-backside- exposing pants--and apparently we do--we should get the obesity epidemic under control first. I wouldn't say I am "in love" with my husband, but I do appreciate him as a person and would never do anything to hurt him. The only way I can go through it is if he doesn't say a word so I can pretend he is someone else. I really want to make this marriage work since we have year-old twin daughters. But I don't know if I can go the rest of my life without sex. We are currently in marriage counseling and I am in therapy for a rape from my teen years, and this has not helped so far. Anyone but My Husband Since I can only assume you're getting tons of useful professional advice already, ABMH, I'll just share my thoughts with you. It's too late for that, of course, as you've already gone and married this guy--and had kids, too, just to make a shitty situation almost unbearably depressing. In your shoes, ABMH, I think I would give my counselor and therapist some time to work me over before I did anything rash, like, say, file for a divorce. But if things didn't improve in 10 or 20 years, I would definitely call a lawyer. Rarely does anything in your column apply to my sex life. We have similar sexual interests--mine being WS and domination, his being S&M. What is your advice for someone who is willing to indulge a fetish, but can't resist the urge to internally giggle when engaging in said fetish? I am sure there are other women who find the sight of their strapping lads in a diaper or, say, panties and a bra hilarious, and don't want to be mean about it. Laughing at My Baby You're doing everything right, LAMB. You're GGG (that's Good, Giving, and Game, new readers), indulging your partner in his fetish, and your giggles are all internal. So you're not laughing in his face, thereby causing him to regret trusting you with this sensitive info. And rest assured: The sight of your boyfriend in diapers will stop inducing internal giggles once you get used to it, once it's just another part of your sex life and not some new, thrilling, freaky indulgence. People, as they say, can get used to anything--even the sight of a grown man with a boner in a diaper. I'm sure you're already getting piles of hate mail for DEPART, the man who helps his "total stud" of a roommate scare off one-night stands, but I just wanted to take a minute to answer his question as to the actual potential legal consequences of his foot-wide shit-smeared asshole conduct: If any girl was smart enough to talk to a cop about this, she might actually be able to get this asshat charged with second-degree criminal sexual conduct. This crime carries 25 years max, although DEPART obviously wouldn't be up for quite that much. Better yet, a decent lawyer should be able to help any of the victims extract some cash from both assholes for battery and/or intentional infliction of emotional distress. How many straight guys you know HELP other men get laid? Straight men will not even help their best friends get laid. In fact, they will bang their best friend's wife/girlfriend at the first opportunity. When a hand grabs us from underneath a bed, we do not yap and run in circles or flee. What man would admit to lying under a bed for hours waiting for his roommate to bring home a girl, listening to them fuck, just so he can grab her leg, all to save his roommate the inconvenience of caller ID? Unconvinced Cathy It did occur to me that DEPART's letter might be bullshit, UC. On the "freaky/unlikely" scale, one guy hiding under another's bed while the second guy fucks a strange woman falls well within the "plausible" zone. I get letters every day about this that are freakier, scarier, and much more fucked up. And if DEPART's letter was real, I wanted not so much to reach him with my advice, but any woman unlucky enough to find herself in his roommate's bed. I look at it like this: If the letter was fake, well, no harm done. But if it was real, DEPART and his roommate might find themselves in a shitload of legal trouble or, if the next lucky woman has a gun on her, they might find themselves yapping and running in circles. More by Dan Savage: 20 101 Favorite Restrooms Issue Date-04/01/04 Build It It's time to stop talking.
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