9/10    Over the last few months, I've noticed occasional noise from my
        neighbor downstairs at times when I'm trying to sleep.
        Twice, or maybe 3 times, in the last 4 or 5 months, I banged
        on the floor at hours after midnight and immediately the
        volume on the TV or whatever it was went way down.  I took
        that to mean he hadn't realized that the noise was disturbing
        to me.  In any case, the other day, at like 6 am, he had
        his bathroom fan (the head of my bed shares a wall with my
        bathroom, which is directly over his) on for like 20 minutes
        and it woke me up a lot earlier than I planned to get up.
        After no response from banging on the floor, I went downstairs
        to kindly ask him to turn it off, figuring he had no idea
        it was disturbing me and would have no problem turning it
        off.  In any case, when I rang the doorbell and asked him
        to turn off the bathroom fan, his response (without opening
        the door) was "Why!?".  My response was "Because it's loud,
        5 feet from my head, and I'm trying to sleep." His response was
        a somewhat hostile "what about when you're making noise?
        I don't bitch and moan about it then".  My response was
        "When was I making too much noise?  Seriously.  You should
        tell me about it so I know if I'm disturbing you."  He
        finally mentioned something about I was stomping around in
        the morning sometimes (I'm not usually an early riser, but
        I am up early on occasion).  Then he turned off the fan and
        walked away from the door without saying he was sorry or
        anything remotely polite or civil.  He was totally rude.
        Anyway, it's happened to me at least twice before, years
        ago at a different place, that a downstairs neighbor knocked
        on my door late at night and asked me to turn down the music
        or stop using the vacuum cleaner or whatever.  And I said
        I was sorry and turned off the noise and everyone was happy.
        Anyway, my question is, was this guy being a total ass hole,
        and/or was I being at all unreasonable?  Also, do you think
        my "stomping" around in the morning was really pissing him
        off, or was he just pissed that I was bugging him to turn
        his noisy fan off.  I really don't want to disturb him, but
        I also don't want to be extra quiet for nothing.  I figure
        if it was really a problem that that I was stomping around
        in the morning, then he should have let me know before.  If
        anyone has had a similar situation/conflict in the past,
        is there any action I can take to diffuse the situation,
        or any advice you can give me?  He seemed pretty pissed off
        when I knocked on his door.  I've never met him face to
        face.  He knows who I am from seeing me in the peep hole
        when I knocked on his door.  I think I know who he is, but
        I'm not sure.
        \_ must...resist...urge to delete...idiocy...
        \_ TV noise after midnight is one thing, but a bathroom fan at 6am
           shouldn't be blamed on him.  6 am is the normal get-ready-for-work
           time for a lot of people.  He can't help that the wall transfers
           sound the way it does.  In this case, I'd consider you the
           ass.
        \_ don't bang on the floor.  I did it too.  Just walk down and
           knock.  Agree on trying to keep some quiet hours during the
           work week.
        \_ maybe you are a whiny bitch you can't handle a little bit of
           noise.  If you need total quiet get a house.  Apartment noise
           is a fact of life and not being able to handle a bathroom fan
           means you need to learn how to be a sounder sleeper.
           \_ Hear hear.  Dear god, if an occasional bathroom fan is the
              height of your troubles, you must have really been in the
              exclusive apartment complexes.
        \_ Learn to wear earplugs.
             \_ OK, so I was being over sensitive and shouldn't have
                made a big deal about the bathroom fan.  Had I known
                his reaction, I obviously would have handled the
                situation differently.  I was quite confident that it
                wasn't going to even be an issue, or I wouldn't have
                gone downstairs.  But a big part of my question is,
                does anyone have any advice of what to do or not to do
                so that the situation doesn't escalate.  He seemed more
                pissed off than he ought to be given the situation.
                I'm not saying he was wrong, but he was far from civil
                \_ dude, just forget about it. he's not friendly to someone
                   who comes whining about his bathroom fan. deal.
                or neighborly about it.
                \_ dude, just forget about it. it sounds like the incident
                   is over. if he can't even open up his door to talk to you
                   there's no point worrying about it.
                        \_ thanks.
                \_ Your civility ended with your banging on the floor.
                   When I was in sk00l, I got pissed off as hell when
                   people did it to me, but then again, I think I started it.
                     \_ The idea of banging on the floor is that if he's
                        sitting around in his underwear, he doesn't need
                        to get up and go to the door.  Even though it
                        sounds uncivil, isn't it more practical?
                        \_ stop making excuses and go down there and knock
        \_ My apt mgr went to talk to the Cal Rugby neighbors upstairs who
           were rough-housing and playing music at 3am on Thurs
           nite and got the shit kicked out of him. And these guys
           are the ones who complain if you have ANY music on during
           finals week.