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I don't know if it's always you, but after today I imagine it is. Everyday I go to the toilet after lunch to take a nice enjoyable crap. I walk in and if no one is in there I enter a stall pull out a couple butt gaskets, wipe down the seat, drop my pants and plant my ass comfortably on the seat. I of course then do the courteous thing and flush making sure I or no one else has to stew in my stink. Just when I feel some more poo about to fall you come in. Because I don't want to sit and smell it so down it goes. Not just any stall you have to pick the one next to mine! There are 2 others further away and you choose the one next to me! I'm bothered, but not quite finished yet so I stay there . Without making great grunting noises I move things along. You on the other hand don't care what noises come out of you. Grunting and breathing deeply through your whistling nose. The smell of course reaches my stall and you don't seem to care. You like your own brand I guess, but why subject everyone else to it? Quickly I'm trying to finish when I hear your phone ring. You answer the phone while you're sitting on the crapper, Jesus what the fuck is wrong with you? So there I am finishing up and listening to you talk on the phone. Can the other person not hear the resonance of the bathroom? Do they not hear the occasional fart rip into the hollow of the bowl? I finish and before you can hang up I have made the decision.
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