12/17   I have suspicions that someone is sleeping with my duck.  Would you
        all please suggest horrible ways I could get even with the bastard
        who is doing this?  It's all right if he ends up dead, so long as he
        suffers, though I must not get caught.
        \_ Considering the sorts of diseases you can/will get from having 'sex'
           with a duck or other bird, your duck has already inflicted more
           than enough horrors and suffering.  Pity the man.
           \_ My duck is not diseased.
              \_ Your duck may be diseased now!