9/23    Normally, are guys supposed/allowed to go to bridal showers?  And, is
        one supposed to give a gift at the bridal shower and then another one
        at the wedding ceremony, only at the bridal shower, only at the wedding
        ceremony, or something else?  Usually, what kind of gifts are
        appropriate at the bridal shower and at the wedding ceremony?
        \_ Dude, look, it all comes down to "weddings are for women". Period.
           The rest is bullshit.  Avoid it as much as humanly possible.
        \_ BDG!!!!!  Where art thou!!!  -your most loyal fan
             \_ I applaud you for not saying "wherefore".
           \_ Just as the poor hapless accused were never allowed into the
              closed door deliberations of the cardinals overseeing the
              inquisition, men are never allowed into the clossed door
              sessions known as bridal showers. These are activities where
              women gather together to share the torture techniques they have
              honed through the ages.
              In any case, as a man the OP should not participate in the
              undoing of a fellow man. But if you (OP) truly wish to give
              a gift, then give the gift of life to your fellow man by
              preventing this marriage and the living hell that will follow
              it.
              \_ Thank you for coming through.  Keep the faith bro!
                                -BDG's #1 fan
                 \_ If I can save one other soul from the eighth hell of
                    marriage then the suffering that was my married life
                    will have been worth it.
        \_ Gifts are NEVER appropriate at the wedding ceremony.  - Miss Manners
        \_ Guys do not go to bridal showers.  Gifts should be mailed to the
           couple after the wedding.  -tom
           \_ What?! It doesn't really have to be after the wedding does
              it? I'm about to mail mine to the couple, 3 weeks before
              the wedding. Should I put off on it?
              \_ It should be after the wedding--what if the wedding doesn't
                 happen?
              \_ Not really. It's more a hassle thing is how I've heard it. You
                 send them after the wedding so the couple doesn't have to cope
                 with the presents (and returning of said presents for cash)
                 while simultaneously preparing for the ceremony.
                 \_ Ideally someone else is taking care of the presents (best
                    man, maid of honor, co-ordinator). Even sending them after
                    the wedding has its problems (ie. long honeymoon, both
                    working, delivery trouble). 'Sup to the couple to let
                    folks know if one method is preferable.
                 P.s., co-ed bridal showers are beginning to happen. I've been
                 to one. -- guy
                 \_ It's a new way to torture guys. Like the baby shower thing.
              \_ hapless twinks - they are given at the reception after ceremony
                 \_ not according to Miss Manners.  -tom
                    \_ ceremony != reception twink
                        \_ Miss Manners explicitly says that presents should
                           be mailed to the couple afterwards, seeing as how
                           they are supposed to be heading off on a honeymoon
                           and they probably didn't bring a U-Haul to transport
                           all the gifts home from the reception.  -tom
                           \_ umm. that's what the bride's maids, best men,
                           and close relatives are for. Who's goign to stay
                          at home and wait for packages to arrive? are they
                          going to leave valuables on your doorstep until
                          your honeymooon is over. That's stupid. Miss Manners
                          is a liberal bitch.
                          \_ I've seen her called many things, but never
                             "liberal".
                             \_ She's about common sense and treating people
                                with due respect, no more and no less.
                                \_ That sounds suspiciously like something
                                   a liberal would say.
                                   \_ Say what?  MM is great.  No one here is
                                      less liberal than me.
                 \_ Chinese usually do it this way.
                    \_ Chinese usually give hongbaos (or angbaos).