chickmagnet.org/for_the_ladies -> chickmagnet.org/for_the_ladies/
Usually there's an after-meeting event at these things, where everyone goes to Denny's or something. Keep this conversation on computer subjects, where Ernest is comfortable. Find a piece of common ground -- something Ernest is familiar with that you would like to install, a program you both know, something. This after-meeting conversation is your last opportunity to "multi-task" around Ernest for a while. You're at a table with a bunch of people, so you can converse with all of them. After this point, you will need to focus completely on Ernest for a while when others are around. If you get 10 distracted by anything, even a major asteroid impact with the earth, Ernest will probably interpret this as lack of interest on your part. Arrange with Ernest to meet up and get help with something you pretty much understand. Ask him in specific terms and make yourself look knowledgeable. If you don't understand your free software of choice very well, learn how to do one task, like setting up a web server, as well as you can, then get Ernest's help with the rest of that task. There's so much to do in the world of free software that you can always get up to Ernest's level in something. Approach this step as Ernest's equal or near-equal, so that he doesn't get distracted by trying to slow down to what he thinks is your level. Keep up, take notes if you have to, and ask good questions. Make time for this, and don't do it at a time or place where there's any possibility you could get distracted. You must pay complete attention to Ernest and what he's doing, or don't bother. After this you can take Ernest out for lunch, coffee, or something casual in the daytime to thank him for his help. Good topics: books, movies, music, childhood pets, funny complaints about work. Bad topics: news headlines, romantic history, family dysfunction, personal finance, serious complaints about work. This is where you can give him your phone number if you haven't already. The risk of this step is that Ernest might start to think of you as a friend instead of in a romantic way. For now, it's just to get to know him and give him a chance to know you. If you don't want this one: If this guy turns out not to be Ernest after all, but is somebody you want to make friends with, immediately stop seeing him alone or sending him individual mail -- only as part of a group or a mailing list until he gets the point. Now that you know Ernest a little, mail him -- briefly -- when you think about something that might interest him.
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