10/12   Is there a good stripclub near Santa Rosa?  My girlfriend wants
        a lapdance, from either a stud or a chick.
           \_ crazy horse is a good place to go for a lapdance.  The
              girls attractive.  If you want to get a good lap dance,
              expect to pay extra.  "good" is measured by two variables:
              squirm factor (SF) and hand movement (HM).  SF is whatever
              unusual things the dancer does to you to turn you on without
              actually fucking you or giving you oral.  HM is a measurement
              of how much you can touch a dancer without having him/her push
              your hands away.  a good experience will have high SF and low
              HM.  yeah....crazy horse.  yup...for $40, you can practically
              feel up your dancer EVERYWHERE just short of poking
              things into holes (that depends on the dancer of course).
             \_ Mitchell Brothers, Crazy Horse on Market...two suggestions.
                A friend of mine took his girlfriend to Mitchell Brothers,
                they went for a private dance -- the stripper got funky with
                with his gf, and then left them with a condom to "finish."
        \_ As if.
        \_ There are some farms around there, I think.  I seriously
           don't recommend a laptance from a stud, since she'll look sort
           of goofy with HOOF MARKS ON HER FACE.  And I can't imagine why
           she'd want poultry dancing on her.  -John
           \_ Either hoof marks or splinters...
        \_ Hey, this is a serious question.  I need a place where both
           of us can get hot rubbing from nekkid girl from Spokane.
          \_ Go to San Francisco --oj
             \_ Mitchell Brothers, Crazy Horse onMarket...two suggestions.
             \_ Mitchell Brothers, Crazy Horse on Market...two suggestions.
                A friend of mine took his girlfriend to Mitchell Brothers,
                they went for a private dance -- the stripper got funky with
                with his gf, and then left them with a condom to "finish."
                \_ how funky?
                   \_ they were both naked (the women), the stripper was
                      at least at 2nd base with his gf.  which of course,
                      turned him on...
                      \_ I don't see why he would leave a condom if they
                         were both women. Perhaps there is something I don't
                         know about women that is specific to strippers in
                         this particular establishment.
                         \_ uh...THE STRIPPER (SHE) left THEM (the guy and his
           \_ Are there any CSUA chicks who would give your gf a lapdance?
                            gf) a condom.
                            \_ when I read it, the phrase was:
                               "...and then he left them..."
                               It was since been changed.
                      \_ What is 2nd base? -nerd
        \_ Plenty of CSUA studs who'd give your gf a lapdance.
           \_ Aren't there any CSUA chicks who would give your gf a lapdance?
        \_ Back to the original question, I found The Gold Club to be pretty
           good. (Howard & 4th St, SF) All of the girls there are independent
           contractors; so most of them don't care about house policy. I found
           most to have medium to high SF and even some have high HM. $20 for
           one and they have a "Red Room" special, $100 for 3 dances and any-
           thing goes. (well, kinda) There are plenty of couples in there too;
           your gf may feel more comfortable there than going to "cock-heavy"
           places.
        \_ Are there any places with both guys and girls dancing.  GF wants
           to go see guys, but says I can come along.  But I want to see girls.