04/64   Any recommendations for cars that are good to hit bicyclists with?
        I'm thinking about a small Mercedes, cause they have the crosshairs
        type hood ornament, but then those always get stolen.  Either that,
        or something really small and maneuverable, or something with light,
        quick-opening doors that you can take out bike messengers with?
        Maybe an SUV for effect?  Also, how do I pick up hot Asian
        chicks?  I'm a math major and can prove that gaussian is the only
        function family closed under convolution, using Windows NT, not
        that girly Linux crap.  -John
        \_ You forgot to mention that you dont want some damn japanese
           rice-rocket either.
        \_ .45 ACP is the standard.
        \_ I'm told a VW bug is best for wiping out bikers.  They have the
           best bumpers and no one considers a cute car a threat until they're
           gnawing on the underside of your rear tires.  Find a hot asian math
           major chick with an NT laptop.  The younger asian chicks (*your*
           little sister, soy boy) _LOVE_ the new bug.  I can get action from
           any asian chick 18-21 with the new VW bug.
           \_ Yes, as long as you can squeeze your lack-of-exercise-mashed-
              potato-stuffed turkey belly between the front seat and the
              steering wheel.  Otherwise your months of pussy eating
              would all go to waste when your frustrated "hot asian math
              major chick" decides to go medieval on your turkey arse
              with the VW bug plastic flower, then hop on to her
              Specialized mountain bike to race off to TA her math class
              on proving that guassian is the only function family
           major chick with an NT laptop.  The younger asian chicks (*your*
           little sister, soy boy) _LOVE_ the new bug.  I can get action from
           any asian chick 18-21 with the new VW bug.
              closed under convolution, and in her hurry, crushing the
              useless NT laptop lying on the pavement with her super knobby
              bike tires.
        \_ Are you being sarcastic?
           \_ Are you?
        \_ The doors on Mercedes are not very quick, unless you're talking
           about the low-end 190 series. Generally, four-door cars will give
           you better speed and maneuverability, however they have less
           range. There is no advantage to using an SUV -- the extra
        \_ It sounds like you want a saturn coupe.  The doors are light but
           long, so they can swing out fast and have a good reach.  The
           use of plastics means they can take more damage, and the red
           color hides bloodstains well.
           height is of no use unless you want to focus on the bicyclist
           head area. In addition, you have to consider the cost of
           repair and replacement. You'd be amazed how quickly doors
           wear out with the huge number of bicyclists in SF/Berkeley.
           \_ But headshots always do more damage!!
              \_ Aw, but they all wear helmet nowadays!
                \_ Hahahahhahaa... you ever seen one of those dinky helmets
                   after an auto rolls over it?  This dude's face wasn't even
                   identifiable, but he sure looked cool on that bike.  What
                   was left, anyway.
        \_ Fuzzy, you are the trollmaster.  I bow before you.
                \_ Fuzzy's post isn't really a troll.  For one thing, he
                   signed his name, which reiffin never does.  For another,
                   his post is actually funny, which reiffin's never are. -tom
                        \_ Whatever, tom.  -reiffin
                                \_ what, exactly, do you get out of deleting
                                   useful information and replacing it with
                                   inflammatory anonymous crap?  Is there
                                   any particular reason you choose anonymous
                                   trolling to be your sole point of
                                   interaction with the CSUA?  Is there some
                                   reason you don't just go away?  -tom