www.csua.berkeley.edu/~appel/csua.html -> www.erzo.org/~shannon/writing/csua/encyclopedia.html
Boughner, David Bushong, Nevin Cheung, David Chia, Alan Coopersmith,Paul Dubois, Tom Holub, Ed James, Donald Kubasak, Ahm Lee, Mike "No Relation" Lee, Julie S. Lin, Scott MacFiggen, Peter Mardahl, Mel Nicholson,David Paschich, David Petrou, Kurt Pires, Aaron Smith, John Salomon, Gary Tse, Rand Wacker, Nick Weaver, and Yermom. Some documents shake the universe to its very core, sending out shockwaves across the galaxies that will resonate forever. Some documents irrevocably change the perceptions of their readers, replacing closely-held worldviews with dangerous and exciting new vistas. Failing that, some documents at least are worth the paper or magnetic media that encode their existence, thanks to the usefulness of their content. So, you've logged onto wall just in time to hear that yermom's philbiff is fubar, and so you never got the elevatorP, and SPARKY'S is a no go. Now you too can learn the secret language of the computer science geeks. This encyclopedia explains the culture and history behind the hidden terminology of the CSUA. By spending mere minutes a day, you too can become a member of the CSUA clique, able to spout vahmifqy and think about the brain at a minute's notice. Translation from the original hexadecimal by Phillip "Edward" Nunez. Frequently used even when he is not running--just to be sure. There is always Partha, and there will always be Partha. It's cool to use computer phrases as part of everyday speech. When you network with other geeks, you can input computer phrases and thus make it sound like you have mega-CPUage available. Although slightly smaller than the old combined 238/238A Evans office, 343 Soda Hall is much holier for actually being within the Temple of Computers that is Soda Hall. And there's cooler crap in 343 Soda Hall than there ever was in 238E. It should be noted that the outer Soda Hall Security Barrier is much less fascist than the old Evans Hall Security Barrier. Undergrads are required to jump through fewer hoops in order to get card keys, and they usually aren't flaming. A secret entrance, currently covered by an obligatory bookcase, leads into the playroom of HKN. When the time is right, the CSUA Bat Squad will make an assault upon HKN, and it will be ours! Adam Glass Memorial Beer Bash -- party to celebrate the end of the semester. The semiannual Adam Glass Memorial Beer Bash is named after the legendary Adam Glass, the rebellious anti-establishment geek who joined the great Satan, Microsoft. Ahmify derives its names from Ahm Lee, or Amy Lee, a young lady whose walls once shared the characteristics of ahmify. Anagrams -- Favorite activity of bored geeks on soda, requiring no social interaction. Names of soda users, or alternatively their logins, are most frequently anagrammed. Anonymous Remailer -- means to send death threats, sexual innuendo, heavy breathing, and random flames without getting caught. Sometimes it seems that the CSUA exists solely to argue. It seems that in recent years the arguments have decreased, no doubt due to the increased speed of compilers, but in the halcyon days of the CSUA there were some doozies. There are many good reasons for confidentiality, but it can definitely make some people uncomfortable. The main argument concerned the CPU load that the remailer placed on soda, but the main issue was truly the desireability of an anonymous remailer, and how it might reflect on the CSUA. In the end, after many assaults, the anonymous remailer moved on. Anti-analysts -- CSUA members with an uncanny ability to predict exactly what the stock market won't do. There are some rules to follow when writing romantic letters on the internet. You should especially, especially not do this if your coworkers will think said letter is hilarious and pass it around until everyone has seen it. Even if you were just the innocent recipient of the letter, you might end up with the title babe@csua. Sometimes computer geeks get together for social gatherings. Sure, we're just talking about hunks of meat burning over an open flame, but, I mean, we're discussing about computer geeks here. On occasion, about once a semester or so, the CSUA has been known to host barbeques. The problems of headcrash and memoryleak are suddenly replaced by sunstroke and storm. Computer geeks gather for free food and, as often as not, flee quickly afterward. But, it was no better, and it extended its tendrils across soda, and eventually it too had to be terminated. Bridge Club -- group of bridge players who once ruled the e238 office; However, there are certain activities that geeks should never engage in, and if they do, feathers will fly: prime amongst these is bridge. We're talking about the card game here, not a type of router. There was a time, in the year 1991, when bridge-playing geeks fell down upon the promised land of e238. They took possession of the land and ate all the grain and killed all the cattle, and it was as if a plague of locusts had descended. Those of the bridge took upon themselves the name of Deputy Librarians, and so in clothing themselves in the skin of sheep hoped to trick the shepherd. Eventually they faded away, and e238 was restored to the chosen people, but the bridge players had left their mark, and forever more, when the people least expected it, they would find the Mark of Bridge upon their office in the form of cards, left carelessly behind shelves and under books. Only when e238 was left behind would the CSUA finally be free. Really, they were just some guys, you know, and just having some fun, and just being social, and just helping to make the CSUA into a fun, social, guys organization. Calculus of Fuzzy If-Then Rules -- rarified math and cool-sounding statement occasionally spouted by CSUA members. Once upon a time, there was just the Space Science Labs (SSL), but based on the strength of a satellite, the Extreme Ultra Violet Explorer (EUVE), the Center for Extreme ultra-violet Astrophysics (CEA) was spawned. Proving, if nothing else, that Bureaucrats Like Abbreviations Heartily (BLAH). Many were the CSUAers that worked at CEA through the years. There were even some CSUAers that were were brought into the holy fold through the CEA connection. Usually carried out on line, but occasionally used to summon geeks to the CSUA office. Playing chess in the office was usually just a strategy to avoid programming assignments. However, certain legends tell of the lucky charms chess set which was on occasion used by those who actually played chess in person. Seeing this now-lost CSUA artifact was sufficient incentive to face other geeks in person. Control-return -- invocation to shut down Apollos, including soda mark I. This unique feature of older versions of DomainOS (only available on console) allowed system administrators the benefit of a two-fingered reboot--clearly proving their superiority over msdos operating systems which required an entire extra finger. Unfortunately, the DomainOS method was undocumented and extremely easy for a quick typist to accidently key. The known record is three shutdowns in a single evening. Also, ASCII representation of the same, frequently walled on soda. Even now philosophers ask, which came first, the cow or the wall? Records of ASCII storms and cow wars abound, when the soda wall was udderly inundated by pictures of all types. The programs cowsay and cowthink allow geeks to make their cows more vocal or thoughtful, as they see fit. CSUA Membership Form -- form required to join the CSUA and, more importantly, get a soda account. Some completed forms have achieved the status of Holy CSUA Artifacts. Hell, the author of this document probably think he's funny. Their humor is usually inflicted on others whenever possible, and such is the case with the CSUA account form. Mysteriously, the numbers 4 and 2 adorn the bottom of the bat. First donated to the CSUA by Shelley Louie, the CSUA bat has become a sign of the CSUA's supremacy over the XCF. It has been stolen many times by that nefarious XCF, but always has been recovered. Numerous dents on the bat are attributed to Phizzball games. Particularly useful for obsoleting CRTs, gaining votes at politb...
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