1/7     Female wants to keep her last name.  Male wants her to take his,
        hyphenation unacceptable.  Marriage this summer.  What do you do?
        [Actually, this isn't happening to me but two close friends of mine.
        The female has been engaging in subtle lobbying whenever liberal
        me is around; but the male keeps deflecting.]
        \_ If you two are getting married and not planning to have kids,
           why do either of you have to change your name?  If you do decide
           to have kids then there is the issue of their last names.  As
           one of my female friends once told me, "The woman bears the child
           for nine months; she should get to choose their last name."
           Having said that, if neither of you is willing to compromise
           on such a minor topic, then marriage might not be appropriate.
           Good luck. -emin
        \_ Have no last name. Be like Cher, Madonna, Prince (formerly).
           I'm changing my name so I'm a one-named-wonder.  A.U.B.I.E.
        \_ If you can't agree on something this simple, don't get married.
           You're not ready.  Incompatible people getting married because "we
           love each other" or "it was just time" is why the divorce rate is
           so high.  Do yourself a favor and think long and hard about this.
           How many other things have you not worked out yet?  Are you the same
           religion?  Do you both want kids?  Have you agreed to raise them in
           the same reloigion or non-religiously?  You can't choose both.  And
           what about jobs?  Have you discussed what you'll do if one of you
           gets a killer job somewhere else?  Is the other willing to give up
           their job and follow?  You're not ready for marriage.  Why do you
           need to ask this on the motd?  You trolling or just too young to get
           married?  -happily married, no unresolved issues
           \_ Ditto.  -another happily married, no unresolved issues
        \_ Male needs to remove head from ass.
                \_ Idiot.  It's a deeper issue than that.
                        \_ no it's not.
                                \_ "Yes it is, no it isn't, yes it is, no, it
                                    isn't, nyah! nyah! nyah!"  As others have
                                    already pointed out, it's deeper than that.
                                    You can't prove otherwise.
        \_ Break up.
           \_ Seconded. If she isn't willing to take his name, she'll be
              a bitch of a wife. Dump her now.
              Besides, what do you do if you have kids? She'll feel pretty
              stupid when peole dont think she's the mother because they
              have different last names. You WILL insist the children have
              your name, I hope.
              Note: yes, I am married. Wife went through this, as part of
              'familial separation anxiety'. She got over it.
              \_ Really, if you can't work this out then you shouldn't get
                 married.  And you shouldn't need to ask on the motd.
        \_ Use dashed name, maiden name as middle name, official nee postfix,
           or some other mix.
                \_ Wrong.  They have deeper problems than her name.
        \_ Declare last name to be empty string and enjoy watching databases
           die from dumb bugs on a regular basis
                \- flip for it and cheat.
        \_ kick guy in balls.  hard.  repeatedly.  then break up.
           \_ and go find the lesbo friend that obviously suits you.
           \_ Wrong.  This is a couple's issue, not the fault of either.  It's
              the fault/problem of both.  Please tell me you have no serious
              relationship plans for at least the next 10 years until you
              grow up and learn some tiny bit about life.
              \_ You're wrong.  It's obviously the guy's fault since he was
                 lame enough to ask the motd.
                 \_ The wording made me think it was a girl asking the
                    original question.  Unlikely on soda, but...
                 \_ No.  That's the part where we have to ask, "Is this a troll
                    or is he just an idiot?"  One stupidity does not make him
                    wrong on other issues.  This is a problem for many couples
                    today and the motd has nothing to do with it either way.
                    If this isn't a troll then they have real problems and
                    probably other questions that they need to work out before
                    they get married.  Saying he's automatically wrong because
                    he was lame enough to ask on the motd is stupid.  Nothing
                    is obvious.
        \_ Can you make and use a new lastname?  If Ricky Martin marries
           Mariah Carey, then Marrey or Cartin.
                \_ Legally changing your last name is possible but a huge pain
                   in the ass.  You have to go to court, change all sorts of
                   documents, get a million government and credit folks and
                   others to acknowledge it, blah, blah, blah.  You're better
                   off just killing yourself.  It's less painful.
                   \_ Uh.. what do you think many women do every time they
                      get married?  That's a legal name change, bub.
                        \_ BZZZT!  They still have to file papers, etc.  They
                           don't just start using the new last name and have it
                           magically be their new legal name.  Where do you
                           kids get this stuff from?  And why do you go off
                           about things you know nothing about when others who
                           do know have already told you otherwise?  Do you
                           try this in lecture, too?  Tried telling your
                           physics prof that gravity doesn't really work?
                                --been there, filed papers post-marriage
                   \_ actually legally changing your name in CA is quite
                      simple.  (Harder in the rest of the country though)
                        \_ BZZZT!  See answer further down.
                   \_ The government does not have the right to tell you
                      what you call yourself. You can use whatever name
                      you want without restriction unless it is for
                      fraudulent purposes.
                        \_ BZZZZT!  There's the name you use and put on random
                           documents and there's "legally changing your name".
                           Your passport must have your "legal" name on it.
                           This is the full name on your birth certificate
                           unless you've *legally* changed it.  YOU ARE WRONG!
                           GO TO THE END OF THE LINE!  Your passport can have
                           "aka" names listed on it but the primary name which
                           is required is your legal name, not what you call
                           yourself and sign other documents with.  Yes, in
                           fact, the government can prevent you from changing
                           your legal name and makes it reasonably difficult to
                           do so.  Good thing you're in EE/CS and not law
                           school.
                           \_ however for California residents things are
                              easier.  (Not for a passport no, that is a
                              federal document.)  You can get a driver's
                              license, for instance, with any name you want.
                              Consider how powerful a form of ID that is.
                                \_ Yup.  But it won't get you back into the
                                   country after aliens kidnap you and leave
                                   you in Singapore.
                                   \_ I didn't ask for the Anal Probe.
                                        \_ From the Singapore Gov. or the
                                           aliens?