Berkeley CSUA MOTD:Entry 17194
Berkeley CSUA MOTD
2019/08/19 [General] UID:1000 Activity:popular

2000/1/8-9 [Recreation/Dating] UID:17194 Activity:insanely high 52%like:17200
1/7     Female wants to keep her last name.  Male wants her to take his,
        hyphenation unacceptable.  Marriage this summer.  What do you do?
        \_ Unless she's published her PhD thesis under her current last
           name, then she's just being a bitch.  You'll most likely get
           a divorce. Keep us posted...
        \_ Become monarch of a European nation. Then no one will remember
           that you even have a last name.
        \_ It's her name. If she wants to keep it, she should. Seems like
           the only issue that should have to be joint agreement is what
           to give the kids as a name. Choosing a new name together is
           another option that reduces the child issue and lets both
           parties express themselves.  -cdaveb
        \_ If you can't agree on something this simple, don't get married.
           You're not ready.  Incompatible people getting married because "we
           love each other" or "it was just time" is why the divorce rate is
           so high.  Do yourself a favor and think long and hard about this.
           How many other things have you not worked out yet?  Are you the same
           religion?  Do you both want kids?  Have you agreed to raise them in
           the same reloigion or non-religiously?  You can't choose both.  And
           what about jobs?  Have you discussed what you'll do if one of you
           gets a killer job somewhere else?  Is the other willing to give up
           their job and follow?  You're not ready for marriage.  Why do you
           need to ask this on the motd?  You trolling or just too young to get
           married?  -happily married, no unresolved issues
           \_ Ditto.  -another happily married, no unresolved issues
        \_ Male needs to remove head from ass.
                \_ Idiot.  It's a deeper issue than that.
                        \_ no it's not.
                                \_ "Yes it is, no it isn't, yes it is, no, it
                                    isn't, nyah! nyah! nyah!"  As others have
                                    already pointed out, it's deeper than that.
                                    You can't prove otherwise.
        \_ Break up.
           \_ Seconded. If she isn't willing to take his name, she'll be
              a bitch of a wife. Dump her now.
              Besides, what do you do if you have kids? She'll feel pretty
              stupid when peole dont think she's the mother because they
              have different last names. You WILL insist the children have
              your name, I hope.
              Note: yes, I am married. Wife went through this, as part of
              'familial separation anxiety'. She got over it.
              \_ Really, if you can't work this out then you shouldn't get
                 married.  And you shouldn't need to ask on the motd.
        \_ Use dashed name, maiden name as middle name, official nee postfix,
           or some other mix.
                \_ Wrong.  They have deeper problems than her name.
        \_ Declare last name to be empty string and enjoy watching databases
           die from dumb bugs on a regular basis
                \- flip for it and cheat.
        \_ kick guy in balls.  hard.  repeatedly.  then break up.
           \_ and go find the lesbo friend that obviously suits you.
           \_ Wrong.  This is a couple's issue, not the fault of either.  It's
              the fault/problem of both.  Please tell me you have no serious
              relationship plans for at least the next 10 years until you
              grow up and learn some tiny bit about life.
              \_ You're wrong.  It's obviously the guy's fault since he was
                 lame enough to ask the motd.
                 \_ The wording made me think it was a girl asking the
                    original question.  Unlikely on soda, but...
                 \_ No.  That's the part where we have to ask, "Is this a troll
        \_ Who says the male is the one posting?
                    or is he just an idiot?"  One stupidity does not make him
                    wrong on other issues.  This is a problem for many couples
                    today and the motd has nothing to do with it either way.
                    If this isn't a troll then they have real problems and
                    probably other questions that they need to work out before
                    they get married.  Saying he's automatically wrong because
                    he was lame enough to ask on the motd is stupid.  Nothing
                    is obvious.
        \_ Can you make and use a new lastname?  If Ricky Martin marries
           Mariah Carey, then Marrey or Cartin.
                \_ Legally changing your last name is possible but a huge pain
                   in the ass.  You have to go to court, change all sorts of
                   documents, get a million government and credit folks and
                   others to acknowledge it, blah, blah, blah.  You're better
                   off just killing yourself.  It's less painful.
                   \_ Uh.. what do you think many women do every time they
                      get married?  That's a legal name change, bub.
                        \_ BZZZT!  They still have to file papers, etc.  They
                           don't just start using the new last name and have it
                           magically be their new legal name.  Where do you
                           kids get this stuff from?  And why do you go off
                           about things you know nothing about when others who
                           do know have already told you otherwise?  Do you
                           try this in lecture, too?  Tried telling your
                           physics prof that gravity doesn't really work?
                                --been there, filed papers post-marriage
                   \_ actually legally changing your name in CA is quite
                      simple.  (Harder in the rest of the country though)
                        \_ BZZZT!  See answer further down.
                   \_ The government does not have the right to tell you
                      what you call yourself. You can use whatever name
                      you want without restriction unless it is for
                      fraudulent purposes.
                        \_ BZZZZT!  There's the name you use and put on random
                           documents and there's "legally changing your name".
                           Your passport must have your "legal" name on it.
                           This is the full name on your birth certificate
                              liscense, for instance, with any name you want.
                           unless you've *legally* changed it.  YOU ARE WRONG!
                           GO TO THE END OF THE LINE!  Your passport can have
                           "aka" names listed on it but the primary name which
                           is required is your legal name, not what you call
                           yourself and sign other documents with.  Yes, in
                           fact, the government can prevent you from changing
                           your legal name and makes it reasonably difficult to
                           do so.  Good thing you're in EE/CS and not law
                           \_ however for California residents things are
                              easier.  (Not for a passport no, that is a
                              federal document.)  You can get a driver's
                              license, for instance, with any name you want.
                              Consider how powerful a form of ID that is.
                                \_ Yup.  But it won't get you back into the
                                   country after aliens kidnap you and leave
                                   you in Singapore.
                           \_ How bad is the name?  My friend's given name
                              is Rocky and he got it changed to Eric when
                              he was 18 without difficulty.  The judge just
                              laughed at him and then signed the paperwork.
2019/08/19 [General] UID:1000 Activity:popular

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