6/17 I'd like to breakup with my gf, but I can't get rid of her. She
keeps insisting that the breakup is invalid. Help. Please. This
is not a troll. -desperate man
\_ http://www.breakupgirl.com
\_ You can get a brand new one for $200 at JavaOne. --psb
\_ sounds like a sienfeld episode.
\_ Ok, kids, in short the story is that nothing that happens to you
in college, socially speaking, is life long or important. youre
*supposed* to have numberous bf/gf's in college. theyre *not*
important. youre *not* marrying any of them and a college fling
\_ Unless you're a csua geek like shyguy,
marco, alanc, etc. who have married their
college gf's.
\_ Yes, it can happen, but it isn't happening
with someone you're breaking up with!!!
>DUH!< It sure as hell isn't happening
as a common event and it isn't happening
more than once per college stint and it
\_ avoid getting into relationships with people like this
\_ Good call, but you never know til it's too late.
isn't typical by any means. You are *not*
marrying someone you 'trying' to break up
with! sheesh.
\_ shyguy is married??
advice like this
\_ to ivy
\_ whee!
\_ this has not been my experience
\_ really??
is not the same on the scales of life as being married or anything
else that occurs post-college. dont take this shit that seriously.
go party, get laid, have a number of fling things and dont get into
the teenage angst thing. dump and walk. end of story. this is
*not* the right time in your life to practice being a "90's" man.
\_ avoid getting into relationships with ppl like this
you wont feel good about it, she won't, no one will. 90's angst
is bullshit. it's a lie. it causes pain, it does not relieve it.
if you're at the point where you're telling someone you're leaving
then they just need to deal with that. dragging it out over some
stupid dinner and trying to "just be friends" afterwards is bullshit.
On the JBF crap: so you've got 6+ ex-gf's hanging around all the
time and you think it's just great, huh? Ok, how great does your
current gf feel? Think about it: how great would you feel if your
gf was hanging out all the time with her last 6+ bf's? If this
doesn't or wouldn't bother you, then you're a fool. It does/should
bother your current gf that you're doing the same thing. Dump and
walk. Live in the future, not the past. You're not life-bonded
with someone you met in college at a dorm party or in the library.
- been there, done that, long past it, glad it's gone. I'm
about 12 years beyond the bullshit. Pray you make it here
too. Don't listen to your same-age peers, they don't know
jack more than you do. How could they?
\_ I once spent 20 minutes explaining to this chick I was sleeping
that I was no longer going to sleep with her (for various reasons)
Nodding with understanding all the way through, at the end she
said, "Oh, ok. Well, that means we can still sleep together
though, right?" Speechless, I gave up, kicked her out and never
\_ Agree. There's is only 2 way, spend the time
talked to her again. *That* message got through to her. Takes
over this ridiculous and moronic concept immediately.
two to tango, son. Never feel bad breaking up. You're doing both
of you a favor. Just don't break up somewhere a knife might be
nearby or anywhere in public like the fools below who suggest a
restaurant.
\_ assumption has been gf/bf are not just sleeping together,
value each other in other ways, and have been seeing each other
for some time (not just "going out")
\_ He obviously doesn't value her so much anymore, so it doesn't
\_ Obviously he is trying to be a nice guy.
matter. Don't be a wuss or a hypocrite.
looking like an asshole.
\_ "obviously"? I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt
\_ He's breaking up with her. How much can he really
care?
\_ kids, watch out for folks like this!
\_ Kids, watch out for folks who use personal
attack instead of saying thing applicable.
\_ Kids, watch out for folks who use
the English language in such a
horrible fashion. You too might
start saying things as nonsencical
as "saying thing applicable."
\_ "There you go again!"
\_ Just refuse to see or talk to her. She'll get the hint sooner
or later. And if she's living with you, look no further than
that Carl's Jr. commercial with the girl tossing the guy's
belongings out the 2nd story window.
\_ avoid getting into relationships with people who would give
advice like the above
\_ obviously sarcasm is not within your grasp.
\_ Not enough angst in that sort of break up for you?
\_ ?
\_ how come it seems that girls have a harder time accepting
the break-up than guys?
\_ this has not been my experience - I'd say guys have ~ or >
psychoses when dumped
\_ Then you only know little boys. Men don't give a shit.
It sucks, you bitch about her to a few friends, you find
another one in a few days (at most), life goes on.
\_ Fine. That's your perspective and that's your life.
I'm just here to say that I have no doubts about what
I think.
\_ Of course you have no doubts about what you think
because you don't think about it.
\_ I'm darn confident about it because I've had
some experiences, thought about it, and laid
things down as to what's "right" in life.
(waiting for more comments about having no
doubts because I don't think)
\_ Ok, I'll bite: you think dragging out the
inevitable is "right"?? You're an unthinking
and very selfish fool. I'm glad it makes
*you* feel better to think you broke some
one the "right" way. You can't do a not-nice
thing nicely. You're a damned fool.
\_ this thread was re Men not being little
boys and Men not giving a shit, bitching
for a few days. The whole macho crap,
women having a harder time with break-ups
is what I disagree with. [psychoanalysis
voluntarily expunged. didn't know you were
that quick in the editor. I was deleting
it until you overwrote the motd again.]
\_ Don't psychoanalyse me. You're a child
and a 90's pussy know-nothing. Tell
your self-help book crap to someone
who cares.
\_ A child? A 90's pussy know-nothing?
My self-help book? A very selfish
fool? A damned fool? Okay.
This has to do with the macho crap,
not psychoanalysis.
\_ Girls aren't used to rejection. They mistakenly think they can
have any guy any time. Mostly, it's true, but the few times it
doesn't happen their way, they can't deal. Need more rejection
experience.
\_ at one time I thought a breakup was invalid, because it was
over the phone. Are you LDR? You should really have a nice
\_ A break up can not be "invalid". Where'd this idiotic
crap come from? There's not a set of rules to follow. You
say "CYA!" and it's over. Via email, phone, letter, in
person or radio waves transmitting to her brain via the
fillings in her teeth. "CYA!" Practice it.
\_ it is fucking wonderful if done right. Whether you
think she deserves it, whether you think it's worth
your time, whether you think it's worth anyone's time
says a lot about what you value
\_ What's wonderful? Breaking up in such a way that
you remain "just friends" and this baggage is there
at all your social events forever making all future
gf's nervous and upset? I value the future, not
the dead and best-forgotten past.
\_ it was great, I have no baggage, and I think
she's cool
\_ And your current gf thinks its cool that
your ex-gf is around all the time? Uh huh....
\_ um, did I ever say that I hung out with
the ex? No, I just think she's cool.
\_ Then it doesn't matter how you broke
up beyond soothing your own ego.
\_ No, it matters insofar as this
is another cool person I've
earth.
ID'd that is on the planet
earth. When the shit hits the
fan, this person does it right,
and I find someone I trust.
dinner over it, or really just be face to face and up-front.
In the end, honesty really really matters, and the other person
will respect you for it (as well as the officialness of the
breakup).
\_ I DID TRY an official break-up. However, I feel like
George in that break-up episode in Seinfeld. Everytime
George says something serious, the gf says "nope,
invalid, nope." and continues her life as if nothing
happened. HELP.
\_ LOSER! You're now broken up. _Act_ like it!
\_ face-to-face?
\_ it doesn't matter. A relationship takes two.
If you've told her it's over, then it doesnt matter
if she lives in denial for the next 20 years. Get on
with your life.
\_ I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and
say that sodan is not "properly" dumping her -
\_ no such thing as "properly dumping" someone. Get
over this ridiculous and moronic concept immediate!
\_ there is, and it's a good thing I don't have
to prove it to you
\_ Or you'd dump me properly? Stop babbling.
He's not getting divorced from his wife of
many years. It's a college gf. Dump and
walk. The faster, the better for both.
\_ "it's a college gf" wtf?
\_ meaning: you're not married. youre
just experimenting. it isn't a
real relationship. youre too young
to take this shit seriously. now
is the time to experiment and figure
it out so you dont make the same
mistakes later when/if you marry
someone. your wife wont be interested
in knowing your college flames, so
why are you practicing that skill?
youre wasting your time on that.
spend the necessary amount of time for a dump she'll
accept - after all you were bf/gf and she does
deserve the time
\_ Agree. There's are only 2 ways, spend the time
and emotion necessary, or just be a total asshole
to her. No way you can dump her easily and
still want to feel good about yourself as a
nice guy.
\_ He didn't say he wanted to be nice about it.
He just wants to break up. Well, he *did*. He
just needs the balls to act like it. If the
situation were reversed, she'd have called the
police already to get her "stalker" ex-bf away
from her.
\_ Obviously he is trying to have it both ways.
It's easy to breakup if you don't care about
looking like an asshole. Just do like in
"Dangerous Liasons": Keep repeating "It is
beyond my control", and just walk away.
\_ I *LOVE* that movie! Awesome! So this
guy is a little hypocritical pansy prick.
She's obviously a psycho. They deserve
each other. Better for everyone else if
they've pulled each other out of the pool
of actively available people.
\_ Ja, how about Michelle Pfeiffer.
\_ So, basically, PATIENCE and PERSISTENCE are the keys to breakup?
\_ no, honesty, giving her time, and trying to be fair about it
- same thing that applies in any non-dysfunctional human
relationship
\_ No. The key is honesty and a clean break. Don't drag it out li!
some teenage party-of-five soap opera. You're not married. Just
move on. You said it. It's her choice to accept it or not, but
you shouldn't enable her psychotic control fantasies by dragging
it out. Girls: same thing goes for you. Break his heart fast,
walk away and never play games.
\_ ...except for xtrek. THat's a cool game.
\_ Damn, how come my topics never generate such interest? |
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