4/27    So . . . say you meet that one woman who seems to be your ideal; you
        ask her out, she says yes, and you find she's even *MORE* ideal than
        you thought.  The date ends amicably; you both agree you should meet
        again next week, and that you'll call at a specified date/time to set
        things up.  Inbetween then, she E-mails you to say that after further
        thought, you're not right for one another, and wishes you well . . .
        is it socially acceptable and within the rules to make that *ONE*
        phone call to try and convince her otherwise, or is that operating
        from such a position of desperately transparent geeky neediness that
        the only gentlemanly thing to do is say "okay", fade away, and never
        be heard from again?
        \_ I'm almost 21 and haven't gone on a single date in my life. I
           guess that's what you get for being a CS nerd.
           \_ I'm almost 24 and haven't gone on a single date in my life
              (unless if you count the time my editor took me to lunch). I
              always though that once I graduated, I would have a lot more
              time on my hands for other stuff like dating. Unfortunately,
              coding for a living is more time consuming than coding for
              classes. Oh well, maybe when I retire and cash in my options
              I will find someone nice. Hope springs eternal.
        \_ You should follow your ONE TRUE LOVE around, and you should make
           sure she knows you're there.  This is to show her that you really
           care about her.  If she sees OTHER GUYS, it's not because she
           cares about them.  She is just TESTING you.  You have to demonstrate
           your LOVE by threatening both her and the other guys.  The woman
           is just looking for that kind of definite AFFIRMATION of your
           feelings.  Finally, after a few such threatening encounters, you
           should GRAB her and TIE HER DOWN in your room.  Then she will
           know that you are TRUELY COMMITTED, and she will be YOURS FOREVER.
        \_ sounds like she took some time to think about it before sending the
           e-mail.  i don't think she wants you calling her questioning her
           judgement, and she would have given more reason if she felt it
           prudent.  it might be that your opinion of the date was biased, and
           she didn't want to be rude to you in person.  i'd suggest sending
           her a mail saying "okay" and then offer that she can contact you
           any time if she just wants to be friends.  then forget all about
           her, and try not to feel sad or sorry for yourself.
        \_ If she's as ideal for you as you've described, go for it.
        \_ 1) Asking for this kind of advice on the MOTD is not wise.
           2) Who cares if she thinks you're desparately, transparently,
              geekily needy?  If she says no, you don't ever need to see
              her again.  If she says yes, woohoo!
        \_ I don't understand why you can't talk to her or visit her.
           It sounds as if one meeting was a marriage decision.
           If she honestly doesn't dislike you then you can at least
           associate with her, and maybe something will develop.  Why not?
        \_ really, you're an idiot for deciding so quickly that she's really
           the one for you after one date. no wonder she doesn't want to be
           near you. you freaked her out. you fucked up. learn. move on.
           \_ I second this response.  You're too inexperienced to make such
              a big decision based on one date.  Furthermore, you're asking
              for advice on the MOTD!  Jesus, you are really inexperienced.
              You have the rest of your life in front of you, don't make such
              big decisions based on a date or on any MOTD advice you get.
        \_ LJBF! LJBF!
          ( Subtle, desparate long-term torture plan )
        \_ This is the WRONG place for a question like this.  Do what you
           think is right.  Make sure you have no regrets, and make sure
           you're proud of yourself after whatever you do in the name of love.
           I'd call her and ask her why.  It is not a question of whether
           she is testing you, or if this is a game, it is about
           communication -- if she still turns you down, then you know it's
           the real thing. --female@soda
           \_ Why is it wrong to ask for advice in relationship matters on
              the motd? After all if you were having trouble in your relationship
              with your compiler or your computer, asking for help on the motd
              generates useful feedback. Anyway, since most of my friends read
              and post on the motd, asking here or in person would be the same.
              (Actually the motd is better since its anonymous).
              In this particular case I'm betting that the post was made on
              the motd, so that the female in question would read it and
              reconsider her decision.
        \_ You know, I bet a lot of these relationship questions that show
           up on the motd are purely hypothetical, posed for the entertainment
           value of the responses.