www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=35848
The court gave the legislature six months to rewrite the law to comply with the heretofore unnoticed gay marriage provision in a 223-year-old constitution, leaving countless gay couples a scant six months to select a silverware pattern. Out of respect for my gay male readers, Ill resist the temptation to characterize this ruling as shoving gay marriage down our throats. The Massachusetts Constitution was written by John Adams, who was quite religious. It is the most explicitly Christian document since the New Testament, with lots of references to the great Legislator of the universe. The main lesson from the courts discovery of the hidden gay-marriage clause is that these judges are in the wrong job. If they can find a right to gay marriage in the Massachusetts Constitution never before detected by any human being we need to get them looking for Osama bin Laden. And if we dont get Massachusetts judges out of the country soon, we could start reading headlines like: Mass. The Democratic presidential candidates reacted with glee to the courts gay-marriage ruling, relieved that they could talk about gay marriage instead of their insane ideas on national defense. But then they realized this meant they would have to talk about gay marriage. Except for the nut candidates who always forget to lie about their positions, all the Democratic presidential candidates earnestly insist that they oppose gay marriage. As governor of Vermont, Howard Dean actually signed a bill providing for these magical civil unions. Having already been forgiven for his remarks about the Confederate flag by both of the black people currently living in Vermont, now Dean wants to be the candidate for guys with Confederate flags in their flower shops. But even Dean emphasized that Vermonts civil union law does not legalize gay marriage. And even in Ben-and-Jerryville, it took a court to force the state to recognize civil unions by discovering that right in the Vermont Constitution.
This is where gays usually bring up the argument about all the straight couples living in sham marriages, but I see no point in dragging the Clintons into this. The classic formulation was given by John Kerry in the Democratic debate earlier this week: What were talking about is somebodys right to be able to visit a loved one in a hospital, somebodys right to be able to pass on property, somebodys right to live equally under the state laws as other people in the country. You would think there were Straights Only water fountains, the way Democrats carry on so as if any gay man would drink non-bottled water. Apparently, health care in this country is better than weve been led to believe if so few Americans have ever been to a hospital that they think theres a guest list. In case you dont know: Gays already can visit loved ones in hospitals. They can also visit neighbors, random acquaintances and total strangers in hospitals just like everyone else. Gays can also pass on property to whomever they would like, including their cats. Every few years you read about some daft rich widow leaving her entire estate to a cat. Liberals have figured out how to get abortions for 13-year-old girls without their parents permission. But were supposed to believe that they just cant get their heads around how a gay guy could leave property to his partner. As for living equally under the state laws as other people in the country, unless Kerry is referring to the precise thing he claims to oppose gay marriage gays do live equally under the state laws as other people in the country. There are no special speed-limit laws or trespassing laws or murder laws for gays. There is, however, some evidence of gay profiling with regard to the enforcement of fashion donts. What gays cant do is get married something all Democrats swear up and down to oppose. Instead, the Democrats demand civil unions and then throw out a series of red herrings to explain why. In fact, the only difference between what the Democrats claim to support civil unions and what they claim to oppose gay marriage is the word marriage. As John Kerry explained: I think the term marriage gets in the way of what is really being talked about here. Republicans ought to try that: We dont support guns the term gun gets in the way of what is really being talked about here we want choice in personal security devices.
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