web.wt.net/~psherr/squirrel_hazing.htm -> web.wt.net/%7Epsherr/squirrel_hazing.htm
Clyde They are all dead - the unfortunate victims of squirrel hazing. EXAMPLES OF SQUIRREL HAZING Here we see 3 1/2 year old Dizzy engaging in the oldest known form of squirrel hazing, known as cheek stuffing. The goal of this challenge is for the victim to stuff as many nuts as possible into his/her cheek pouch. A squirrel hazing judge determines if the amount of nuts is enough to qualify. Many squirrels permanently disfigure their cheek pouches from participating in this particular ritual. Here we see 2 1/2 year old Laurie participating in the second oldest form of squirrel hazing - snow sitting. The victim is told to sit perfectly still on a mound of snow until the squirrel hazing judge determines that the victim has sat long enough. While it is one of the more tame hazing rituals, many squirrels have frozen to death trying to impress the squirrel hazing judge. While engaging in the ritual known as dog chasing, 2 year old Peter and 1 1/2 year old Kate are forced to fight for their lives when the dog they were chasing suddenly turned on them. Peter can be seen here fighting valiantly while Kate goes into hiding. Dumpster Diving, which involves a group of squirrels participating in what could be called mass hazing, is much more dangerous than it appears. Regularly, the victims end up impaling themselves on broken glass or dying from massive head trauma. In this case, 1 year old Eddie slammed his head into a discarded microphone stand, temporarily stunning himself senseless. Mandy, Michael, and Maria demonstrate what is involved with the ritual known as cat taunting. This is a relatively new ritual due to the sudden influx of domestic felines throughout the world over the last few centuries. The object of this particular ritual is to drink all of the milk and eat all of the cat food before the cat comes after them. Here we see 1 1/2 year-old Perry preparing to engage in car racing. Car racing is one of the newest and most frequently witnessed form of squirrel hazing. It involves challenging the victim to run in front of a moving vehicle at the very last possible second. If a victim moves to soon, he/she is taunted and ridiculed for the rest of his/her life.
America Squirrel hazing isnt limited to one geographical location. Wherever squirrel hazing has been witnessed, squirrel observers have been seen nearby. These squirrel observers seem to have the dual purpose of taunting the victim into performing the ritual and punishing any victim refusing to participate. Any victim refusing to participate is severely beaten, then exiled from the neighborhood NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN. Until recently, no photographs of the squirrel hazing judge existed. While we were observing the dog chasing ritual, we notice one squirrel standing off by itself. At first we didnt think anything of it until we noticed how all the squirrels seemed to make a point of avoiding going near this particular squirrel. Curious to see what was causing the other squirrels to avoid this particular squirrel, we approached with our camera. The squirrel suddenly turned on us, grabbing our camera from our hands then smashing it into the ground. The squirrel had resumed its former position, leaving our camera a mangled, broken mess. We were very fortunate to have been able to salvage these pictures. Based on the squirrels reaction to our camera, we concluded that this indeed was the squirrel hazing judge.
IB Note: Discouraging hazing activities may be detrimental to the species. Since there is no challenge in racing a slow car, the squirrel judge will nullify the ritual and have the victim perform a less hazardous ritual. If you are walking and see a gathering of squirrels, take this as a sign of trouble. Try to break up the group as quickly as possible without causing harm to any of the participants - we recommend either running up to them and yelling or drenching them with a low-pressure yard sprinkler. If you own a dog, keep it on a leash at all times so the squirrels wont have a reason to chase it. If you own a cat, do not keep its food and water outside where squirrels can access them. Peanuts are the raw source of Peanut Oil, which is a powerful intoxicant to squirrels. If you feed the squirrels, only give them enough nuts to fit comfortably in their cheek pouches. Many times humans unknowingly contribute to squirrel hazing by providing the extra nuts used in the cheek stuffing ritual.
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