3/31    Looking for a Chinese equivalence of Merriam Webster online.
        My level is at a point where Babelfish is insufficient since
        many terms that I need to look up are idioms and more esoteric
        terms and such that cannot be looked up on Babelfish.

3/31    motd not getting laid guy here.  the not laying me girlfriend was
        telling me how she thinks visiting a prostitute is basically paying
        to rape someone.  i kept thinking 'i bet dudes like Spitzer,
        and me in the future, visit prostitutes because they haven't had
        sex with their spouse or girlfriend in exactly 312 days, not that
        they're counting'.
        \_ Would you mind telling us again why you're with this woman?
           \_ difficult to say.
           \_ Seconded. -happily married, recently laid guy
           \_ is she super hot or something?  Why do you put up with this?
              \_ she's all right.
              \_ There are all kinds of super-hot women who he's not
                 sleeping with, so why does he need her in particular?
                 \_ There's a lot more to a relationship than sex. Maybe
                    she's the mother of his kids. Maybe they really get
                    along well outside of bed. Maybe she's rich. What does
                    it matter? These things are complicated.
                    \_ unmarried.  no children.
                    \_ Maybe she's his mother. Now this whole dilemma makes
                       a lot more sense.
                       \_ Ted?!?
                    \_ I thought he said earlier that he was living off her.
                       Not a bad deal, if you think of it that way: a roommate
                       that you cook and clean for, who pays your rent.
                       \_ never said was living off of her.  now that would
                          be sweet!  kind of.  we both have good jobs.
                       \_ Time to reevaluate that deal, if the sex is driving
                          him as nuts as it sounds.
                          \_ I agree!

4/1     Hello Kitty as AR-15!
        http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/02/19/resnik.painted.guns.kpnx
        http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/01/18/hello-kitty-assault-rifle-update
        http://blog.riflegear.com/archive/2007/12/26/hello-kitty-ar-15---evil-black-rifle-meets-cute-and.aspx

4/1     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGxdgNJ_lZM
        The robots have too much power!!!

4/1     The April Fools' Day Defense Kit
        http://www.slate.com/id/2187681
        \_ Obviously, we need more laws to protect ourselves.  -democrap

4/1     British National Party leader: 'Rape is a Myth'.  buh?
        http://csua.org/u/l5z   (dailymail)
        \_ This guy says, among other things, that women enjoy sex
           so how can forced sex be a crime?  Well, some men enjoy
           buttsex, so obviously it isn't a crime to force buttsex
           on him.  I propose that some gang of gay dudes do this
           to him immediately--giving him a case of anal herpes
           and AIDS and anal gonnorhea while they are at it.
           \_ This is where he went wrong. Women don't enjoy sex.
              \_ Front page article in Chron on monday was about common
                 sexual dysfunction in women.  Not that I'm bitter or
                 anything. - motd not getting laid guy #1 THE ORIGINAL
        \_ April Fools?

4/1     The story of Basra:  Iraqi gov't forces kicked al-Sadr's ass.
        \_ Pfft. US forces totally had to save Al Maliki's boys' asses.
        \_ Link please?  I haven't been following it closely.
        \_ Interesting, this is precisely the opposite of reality so far as
           anyone can tell.  What is your source?
           Oh right, you were just trolling.

4/1     http://www.cubo.cc (SFW)
        \_ That is pretty awesome, but why are her eyes so bloodshot?
           \_ Jesus! Do you really want to look at her closely enough to find
              out?!? Keep moving that mouse before she _notices_ you!
        \_ She looks Japanese.
           \_ 1/4 of the Asians have hepatitis. She probably has it.
              Yellow jaundice skin, bloody eyes. Typical hep.

4/1     how do you install your own apps onto an iphone?

4/1     Funny Onion News:
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CqpEacxdS0 Bring daughter to work
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmvw7N-Nn1U Soldier aptitude
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aotlEpmAFVQ Gays in combat
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvz_xzaMvCQ Eco-friendly War

4/1     Oliver Stone to make George W. Bush biopic (not an April Fool, sadly)
        Starring Josh Brolin
        http://www.cinematical.com/2008/03/27/oliver-stone-casts-dubyas-parents
        Given how unintentionally hilarious JFK was, this may simultaneously
        be both the best and worst movie ever made.

4/1     The Masculinist Coalition
        http://masculinists.org/updates
        \- YMWTGF("Harvey Mansfield", manliness)
           \- Professor Mansfield touched me. I am lewis@soda.

4/1     April Fools! What are some things you'd love to see? I'll start:
        - I-DAY! Whitehouse announces that we've won the War in Iraq!
        - The whole sub-prime meltdown was actually due to a misplaced
          decimal. The economy is fine.
          \_ NICE
        \_ soda running *BSD
        \_ serious real news stories on http://theonion.com
        \_ My mom decides to stop lying.
           \_ care to elaborate?
              \_ My mom has been lying all her life about everything (her past,
                 why she did this and that, what she thinks about this and,
                 everyting).  I just didn't realize she's a chronic lier until
                 I was 28 after I lost one gf to that and about to lose the
                 second.

4/1     drug deal on google maps:
        http://tinyurl.com/32bmoy
        \_ How do you know that? RACIST.