11/8 OK obligatory Matrix Reviewed (no spoilers)
-Should have been Matrix: Revolting
-I think I saw Superman flying by in the background in that
scene up in the air
\_ Mark my words: that scene will make superhero fights (and,
by extension, real comic book movies) a reality within the
next 2 years.
-The machines wanted to whack the humans to get rid of all the
horrible actors
-The "equation": Hugo Weaving: good actor. Keanu: bad
actor. It all balances out.
-That scene at the end: "taking out the trash".
-The machines were pissed at the humans because they all live
like a bunch of slobs
-Cases with 300 rounds of machine gun ammo go a long way
-The subway has a terrible dental plan
-Having caviar smeared on your boobs makes them grow (see:
Monica Belluci)
In short, this was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It's
bad on an epic scale, made even more so because it follows a movie
that I already thought was the worst I'd ever seen. In fact, I think
that this movie can't have been made this bad accidentally--there must
have been a higher purpose, an "architect of bad", so to say. All
things that have a beginning must come to an end. Thank fucking
god for that, is all I can say. -John
\_ good review John. This movie is the biggest waste of money since
Waterworld. They basically took every cliche from about 6 different
genres and stitcged them into a script. When I think of how many
episodes of South Park or how many hong kong movies could have been
made with the budget it just makes me angry. However I'm not sure
you can blame Keanu's acting at all- given the script I don't think
even good acting could have saved it. -brain
\_ It isn't over. They left it wide open to be a serial movie.
\_ The brothers have gone on record stating there will be no more
movies. We'll see how long that statement lasts...
\_ I call bullshit on them. Who doesn't REALLY like money?
\_ let me get this straight. you didn't like the first two movies,
but you went to see the third in the theater and were suprised
you didn't like it? this takes the stupidity of John to new
heights.
\_ The first was good, the second was useless, I hoped the third
would be better. And learn to troll, that was a pretty feeble
attempt. -John
_ And no, even "Chopper Chicks in Zombietown was far better."
/
\_ God, you're a fucking moron. How'd you learn to type and
\_ John, you either don't watch a lot of movies, or you have a
breathe at the same time? I liked the first one. It had
suspense and story and character development and and and. The
second one was horrible. I had a reasonable hope the third
would be better. And sign your name; you're a pretty hopeless
troll. And it's not an exaggeration--not a single person I
spoke to who'd seen it (all of whom are a damn sight more
intelligent than you obviously are, you mental cabbage) agreed
that it was the single worst thing they'd seen. Get a clue,
you miserable dickless wonder. People like you should be
neutered. Froth spite hate. -John
tendency to exagerrate.
\_ I liked the first movie a lot. The second movie was one of the
\_ Maudib!
worst movies I've ever seen. I have not seen the third, but I
can imagine it is as bad as described since it was filmed at
the same time that the second one was. --dim
\_ The sad part is going on some message board filled with matrix
fanboys / apologists. Every negative comment is ripped to shreds,
inevitably with the argument "you just don't get it" or "you don't
appreciate the masterful complexity and depth and profoundness".
\_ A non-fanboy, non-"you don't get it", semi-positive review:
http://csua.org/u/4xr (Lileks' blog)
\_ How much worse is it than the second Matrix? I don't know, did
people really take the first Matrix that seriously? The second
movie entertained me, apart from some boring bits in the early
stages. I did't see it in the theater though and had rather low
expectations. Certainly there are far worse movies.
\_ Yeah, I really don't understand this visceral hatred people have
for the Matrix movies. It seems more hated than Lucas films,
which really are bad enough to earn it. The Matrix films really
seem to hit some sort of chord of hatred with people, it's the
oddest thing. -- liked 2nd matrix just fine
\_ The first one came out of nowhere and blew people away.
\_ Reaction to the Star Wars prequels have nothing to
do with artificially high expectations. They are
simply crappy films. The first Star Wars was before
Lucas was so certain of himself, so he would constantly
reflect and collaborate, and so came up with a very
good result. Ep. V and VI he (or the powers that be)
wisely had other people direct them. Lucas should
never direct his own stories again. I dare say he
should give up directing altogether. --scotsman
There was very little chance that a sequel was going to
capture the novelty of the original, but ppl were bound
and determined to catch the bus this time. When it turned
out to be only as novel as the first one (and not more
novel), that investment in catching the Next Big Thing
turned to resentment. *shrug* I'll still go see it at
the Parkway.
\_ I totally agree with this. People's expectations are
just too high. You people bitching about Matrix 2,3
are probably the same people bitching about Star Wars
prequels right?
\_ Reaction to the Star Wars prequels have nothing to
do with artificially high expectations. They are
simply crappy films. The first Star Wars was before
Lucas was so certain of himself, so he would constantly
reflect and collaborate, and so came up with a very
good result. Ep. V and VI he (or the powers that be)
wisely had other people direct them. Lucas should
never direct his own stories again. I dare say he
should give up directing altogether. --scotsman
\_ My expectations were pretty low going into #3, but
I was still disappointed. At the very least, I wanted
to be entertained by kickass action (like #1 and parts
of #2 (highway sequence)). The final fight was comical
at best, Niobe's sequence was okay, but everything in
\_ So godlike, it still took him several minutes to
defeat Merovingian's goons in Reloaded.
\_ Well, they also had special powers right? Weren't
they special rogue programs or whatever?
\_ Watched the first matrix, haven't watched the second
matrix. Do I need to watch it before seeing the third
matrix, or would it be bad movie * 2 ?
\_ Matrix 3 starts literally 10 minutes after 2 ends. You
will be so lost. Then again, you might be lost even if
you watched 2.
\_ John, you either don't watch a lot of movies, or you have a
tendency to exagerrate.
\_ I liked the first movie a lot. The second movie was one of the
\_ Maudib!
worst movies I've ever seen. I have not seen the third, but I
can imagine it is as bad as described since it was filmed at
the same time that the second one was. --dim
\_ The sad part is going on some message board filled with matrix
fanboys / apologists. Every negative comment is ripped to shreds,
inevitably with the argument "you just don't get it" or "you don't
appreciate the masterful complexity and depth and profoundness".
\_ A non-fanboy, non-"you don't get it", semi-positive review:
http://csua.org/u/4xr (Lileks' blog)
\_ How much worse is it than the second Matrix? I don't know, did
people really take the first Matrix that seriously? The second
movie entertained me, apart from some boring bits in the early
stages. I did't see it in the theater though and had rather low
expectations. Certainly there are far worse movies.
which really are bad enough to earn it. The Matrix films really
seem to hit some sort of chord of hatred with people, it's the
oddest thing. -- liked 2nd matrix just fine
\_ The first one came out of nowhere and blew people away.
There was very little chance that a sequel was going to
capture the novelty of the original, but ppl were bound
and determined to catch the bus this time. When it turned
out to be only as novel as the first one (and not more
novel), that investment in catching the Next Big Thing
turned to resentment. *shrug* I'll still go see it at
the Parkway.
Zion was pretty shitty. I never cared for the story and
background, and the last movie didn't do anything to
change that opinion.
\_ No way. They didn't use any of the elements that made
the first movie great. It's the Matrix! you can do
anything because it's a simluation! "We need guns" and
huge racks of guns roar out of the horizon! Suddenly you
know how to pilot a helicopter! None of that was in the
second movie and the third movie didn't even have any of
the phone imagery. Can you remember anything the
characters actually did IN the Matrix? No? that's because
only the fight scenes took place there! What's the point?
what makes this different from any other "and then stuff
blew up" summer movie? -brain
\_ Well, didn't Neo, like, transcend or something at the end
of M1? So he's godlike now in the Matrix. Although I
don't really follow the plot too well due to all the
inconsistencies. I decided I had to willfully suspend
disbelief in M1 anyway. M2 seemed like a reasonable
progression.
\_ So godlike, it still took him several minutes to
defeat Merovingian's goons in Reloaded.
\_ Well, they also had special powers right? Weren't
they special rogue programs or whatever?
\_ Watched the first matrix, haven't watched the second
matrix. Do I need to watch it before seeing the third
matrix, or would it be bad movie * 2 ?
\_ Matrix 3 starts literally 10 minutes after 2 ends. You
will be so lost. Then again, you might be lost even if
you watched 2. |
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