12/4    My cheatin' heart:
        http://entertainment.yahoo.com/entnews/wwn/20021129/103858200006.html
        \_ "Any time you are out of your own area code, it doesn't count as
           cheating".  That's very easy for those who live in SF.
        \_ For every article, a rebuttal:
           http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2540089.stm
           \_ And this, my friend, is the difference between the Italians
              and the English.
              \_ Don't forget that most of the people keeling over from heart
                 attacks while playing hide the salami are probably old farts,
                 who're more likely to be banging their secretary than their
                 wife.  Statistics...  -John
        \_ keep in mind it's from the Weekly World News.
        \_ I don't need this.  I learned everything I need to know about sex
           and relationships from Cosmo.  -John
           \_ I learned it from you, dad.  I learned it by watching YOU!

12/4    I have an old serial trackball I'd like to use on my laptop--I've seen
        serial->usb converters, but none of them say they work with mice.
        Can I use a converter like this on win XP?
        \_ shell out the 2 bucks and try it.
           \_ It's 10 bucks plus shipping and I'm thinking of doing that.  I
              thought I'd check here first.

12/4    M$ Excel qn: I have a column of 10000 numbers.  Is there any easy way
        to create another column of 1000 numbers where each number is the sum
        (or average) of the corresponding 10 numbers in the first column?  Thx.
        \_ should be do-able with the Fill-Down menuu item.
        \_ what exactly do you mean by corresponding 10 numbers?
        \_ he means you have column A which has "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10", and
           he wants column B to have just one number (55) which is the sum of
           the 10 in column A.  There is probably an automated way to do that,
           but I can't think of it off the top of my head.  One thing you can
           do is to use an IF statement in column B; it should be easy to
           have the entry in column B be blank except for each 10th row.
           Having the column B rows contiguous probably takes some scripting.
            -tom
           \_ can't you have column B have the SUM(A1:A10) then just fill
             down?  You'll have more info than you need, but you can work
             with that.
             \_ combining with tom's idea:
                (IF((some rule to check if this is the 10th), SUM(A1:A10), "")
                then fill down
           \_ Yes, I can use the Subtotals function if I can let it be blank
              except for each 10th row, but I need the numbers to be next to
              one another.
              \_ then I think you probably have to write a little macro to
                 put a formula in each cell.  There might be a different way
                 but I've never figured out how to get "fill down" to be
                 more intelligent about how to increment the cell references.
                  -tom
        \_ "On the Accuracy of Statistical Procedures in Microsoft EXCEL
            97" B. D. McCullough, and Berry Wilson    Abstract:  The
            reliability of statistical procedures in Excel are assessed in
            three areas: estimation (both linear and nonlinear); random number
            generation; and statistical distributions (e.g., for calculating
            p-values). Excel's performance in all three areas is found to be
            inadequate. Persons desiring to conduct statistical analyses of
            data are advised not to use Excel.
            (McCullough, BD, Computational Statistics and Data Analysis v31
            (1999) 27-37.) [ reformatted - formatd ]
            \_ gee that matters when you're trying to add.
            \_ It's not that I like using Excel.  I'm just required to use it
               for this particular task.  Otherwise I'd just write a C program
               from scratch to calculate the stats and it'll still be much
               faster than looking through the Excel Help.

12/4    Hacker causes massive sewage spill:
        http://cooltech.iafrica.com/technews/837110.htm

12/4    Anyone here have their own 800 number?  How much does it cost?
        Any problems?  I see a few adds for 3.9cents per minute 800 numbers
        but they seem a bit shadey.
        \_ Ask yermom.
           \_ No, she has her own 900 number.

12/4    Anybody recommend upgrading to windows XP?  I heard it has a lot of
        security features and so liberating software is harder.
        I content-liberate nearly all my apps like office/adobe/etc.  I'd
        like to continue doing so. So is Xp the right OS for that?  Thanks.
        \_ http://www.hevanet.com/peace/microsoft.htm
           An interesting, seemingly well researched article about XP.
        \_ my xp box seems happy with content-liberated sw. of course, the
           copy of xp is also content-liberated, so maybe it's especially
           tolerant.
        \_ windows XP's default media player will not pay divx's properly,
           even tried using playa after installing the divx codec.  The
           file will play for about 30 secs and then wmp or playa just dies.
           2k has it working just fine.
        \_ Stick to 2k. The only thing that XP has over 2k is the poorly
           executed candy coated ui. If you really want a candy coated ui,
           just buy a mac.
           \_ What xp has over 2k is that multiple windows sessions can be
              running simultaneously, so you don't have to shut down all
              your apps to change to a diff user. -win2k user
              (also, mac's gui is far inferior to windows)
              \_ nice throwaway troll.  biyotch.
              \_ So how often have you used the switch user feature of
                 xp? BTW, it doesn't quite work as well as M$ makes it
                 seem (ex1. don't switch users while burning a cd unless
                 you want a coaster. ex2. sometimes network transfers
                 will abort when you switch)
                 And as far as the Mac UI is concerned, I never said
                 that it was better than windows, I just said that if
                 you wanted a better candy coated ui get a mac.
        \_ ob RUN L1NUX! RIDE BIKE!
           \- have you tcpdumped an XP machine? it seems to do a lot of
              phonehome/"bigbrother" stuff. --psb
                \_ And this is a surprise to you?
                   \_ no, but it makes installing XP less palatable -!psb
        \_ Have you considered XP with something like ZoneAlarm installed
           to block outbound traffic? -ausman
        \_ XP = nicer gui features and cleartype font display. but you have
           to be careful with updating online and shit. -anotherwin2kuser

12/4    Fact: almost 13% of all soda accounts are sorried.
        \_ I'm sorry about that.
        \_ What a sorry situation!
        \_ That certainly is a sorry fact.
        \_ Sorry = turned off due to inactivity, or for bad behavior?
        \_ A whole bunch of accounts with lame passwords got sorried
           when root ran crack.

12/4    Wow, at this point the motd censorship isn't even politically motivated,
        its just arbitrary.
        \_ all censorship is arbitrary.

12/4    All banned topics removed.  -MCP
        \_ Intruder alert. Intruder alert. Get the humanoid. The humanoid
           must not escape.
        \_ it's funny how reiffin has gone from trying to make the motd
           useless by endless trolling, to trying to make it useless by
           random deletion of live topics.  -tom
           \_ you'd know all about censorship.  and it's never funny.
           \_ I've been in favor of a mandatory non-anonymous motd for a long
              time.  That way hypocrites like yourself wouldn't be able to
              falsely slam me and we'd get to see how much you're really
              adding or deleting without being able to hide yourself.  I'd
              like to know how you figure it was me when there were about 6 of
              us editing the motd in rapid succession.  I've written several
              scripts to track usage but I can't track that kind of activity.
              Since you're (once again) wrong, I know you can't either.-reiffin
              \_ soda-~-20:41-117>finger reiffin
                 finger: reiffin: no such user
                 ???

12/4    Get your ticket to heaven: http://www.ticket2heaven.com
        \_ I see all the failed dot-commers are starting to graduate from
           business school?  -John

12/4    I'm a new grad student at another school (not UCB). What's the best
        way to meet women? Thanks.                      -new grad student
        \_ Join a triathlon club.  Lots of pretty, athletic women.
        \_ Get rich and famous. Hire pretty hookers.
        \_ Become a priest.  http://csua.org/u/653  Merely reading that
           article makes me horny.
        \_ Son, that is the $65,000 question.
        \_ Are you teaching classes?  Pick up on your students.
           \_ Pick up EECS chicks? Damn you must have low standards.
              \_ He just wants to get laid.  It's all the same in the dark
                 and his odds of getting herpes are much lower.
                 \_ He didn't say he wanted to get laid.  He said he wanted
                    to meet women.
                        \_ damn! -aspo
        \_ Don't bother. It all leads to divorce and devastation.
           Just ask BDG. - BDG #1 Fan
        \_ I know the answer to this question, but this motd is too small
           to put it in. Seriously, the best way to meet interesting women
           is to be interesting. Find a hobby, preferably something that
           you are passionate about and one that has at least some women
           involved in it, and spend time getting good at it. As a grad
           student, you are not going to have much time, but 5 hours/wk
           should be plenty (for the hobby, not the g/f) -ausman
           \_ Blah. Blah. Blah. It's who you look like, not who you are.
                \_ And how rich you are. You could be the most boring
                   person in the world but if you are rich you can get
                   good looking women.
        \_ good advice, but I have hobbies, I'm in shape,
           a job, and I still get bitter looking at cute
           girls in genital herpes medication commercials.
           \_ Being interesting attracts women.  But being disciplined,
              hardworking, generous, forgiving, and kind will all make
              you strong.  Women love strong men.  It's one thing to have
              money, but a woman who sees a man exercising disciplined
              selfishness, and one that exercises disciplined generosity,
              will always pick the latter.  See "Groundhog Day" and
              "Iron Monkey" for more details.
              \_ And all of that matters squat if you're not handsome,
                 rich, or wield power.
                    \_ by that logic, only handsome, rich, or powerful
                       men can get women?  Are we in the middle ages?
        \_ If your school has a ballroom dancing club, you could try
           that.  It will give you a chance to meet women, chat with
           briefly, and ask them to dance.  If nothing else, you'll
           learn to dance which is fun.
        \_ For computer people, you guys sure forgot about computers.
           http://www.match.com   The ratio is that you will send out
           100 e-mails to 10 dates to 1 sex act.
        \_ You can meet women at the gym by taking one of those Group classes.
           If you don't care for the 'girly' classes, take something athletic
           like Cardio kickboxing, BodyPump, Steps, etc. Guaranteed a good
           ratio.
        \_ Find the female counterpart to the motd (AOL Chat?) and meet them
           there.
           \_ In all likelyhood anyone OP meets on IM is probably some
              EECS guy pretending to be a girl just to see how many of
              his classmates are desperate lusers.
              \_ She says she's yermom.

12/5    does airbears work in Barrows?
        \_ There's one access point in 60 Barrows.  -tom

12/5    what does "manic" mean?
        \_ dict manic
        \_ what is the square root of 400?
           \_ The African swallow.
              \_ Laden or unladen?
                 \_ Usually unladen but the African swallow is known to go
                    both ways.
                    \_ So does yermom.
              \_ So does yermom.

12/5    The motd: An opportunity for the cowardly to pretend that words
        don't have consequences. An example of the arrogantly opinionated
        leading the willfully ignorant. People who take umbrage at falsely
        being accused of murder, amorality, pedophilia, kleptomania,
        drug-taking, wife-abuse, and being traitors simply don't understand
        the playful manner of the entertainers involved. See also: "Fair
        and Balanced Reporting."
        \_ how can i slander an anonymous person? - dnah
        \_ hey freep-man, i just saw a leader of the liberal
           media, peter jennings speak, i wish i could have emailed
           you to show up. - dnah
        \_ you forgot racism, stupidity, and being liberal
        \_ And your point is...?

12/5    A question for alums who opened their csua accounts in the early
        1990s: Do you plan on attending the Class of '93 reunion come
        October 2003? Wondering if its worth flying in from
        Bloomington, Indiana. -elizp
        \_ LIke, dpassage, the second person I met at cal... -elizp
        \_ Liz!  are you married or are you still single?
           \_ finger fab
              \_ What does that have to do with elizp?
                 \_ http://socrates.berkeley.edu/~critmass/wedding
                        \_ oh god!  CSUA members marrying each other?!
                           shouldn't that be considered incestuous inbreeding?
                           How about diversifying the gene pool a bit eh.
                           \_ Wait til their kids start showing at meetings.
                              \_ Wait till the kids start flaming the parents
                                 on wall and the motd.
                                 \_ they'd just get censored.  no problem.
        \_ What if I opened my account in the mid 80s?  Do I count?  Am I
           too old to be wanted and loved?
           \_ If you're asking the motd for validation, you've answered your
              own pathetic question.
              \_ The csua is my entire social life.  I find the motd just as
                 important as the wall.  Don't you?
                 \_ Old CSUA Saying: After three days without the motd life
                    loses all meaning.
                    \_ without motd?  There's no such concept.  Seek help.
                       \_ mid 80's guy predate both motd and wall, which
                          are artifacts of the 90's.  - m8g fan #1
        \_ I don't plan to attend cuz I don't know that many people in my year.
           --- yuen
           \_ I think the trick involves a couple friends attending,
              then each of those getting a couple others, etc., Kinda like a
              pyramid scheme. -elizp
        \_ I will be around. -ausman
                \_ So will psb.  Does the psb ever go to a class reunion?
                   \_ does partha even belong to any one class?  i like
                      to think of him as more of a global resource.
                   \_ don't you have to graduate in order to be considered
                      a member of a particular class? (I recall reading on
                      motd that psb never graduated)
                      \_ psb is more greater than graduation.
                      \_ Hey!  Watch your dirty mouth!  Don't make me bitch
                         slap your sorry ass!  That's the psb you're talking
                         about, sonny.  --psb #1 Fan
                         \_ Graduation does not a great man make.
        \_ can squished people attend?
           \_ Not if the Univeristy has a restraining order on them.
              Otherwise, yeah.

12/5    Q for DBAs.  How often do you examine your schema for new indexes
        needed.  Our lead programmer is giving me headaches with his "Well
        it works on MSSQL," while our Postgres and Oracle development continues
        to falter.  I came up with a possible new index last night to solve
        a customer's issue, and he got all up in arms with "DON'T QUESTION MY
        SCHEMA!"  Am I insane thinking that DB tuning should be ongoing?
        Or is he just trying to defend his ignorance? --scotsman
        \_ He is defending his ignorance.  It's not like you should be doing
           quarterly schema reviews though.  Tune as needed, i.e. if you
           notice a serious performance issue, if your dataset changes
           significantly, or if the kinds of queries you make change
           significantly.
           \_ Mostly agree. Quarterly reviews of the database can be useful.
           \_ even if you dont do a review every 3-4 months, every 3-4 months,
              you should ask "should we do a review?"
        \_ Developers should only be responsible for the logical schema
           design anyway.  Physical designs such as indexes should be the
           DBA's responsiblity.  Mostly because most developers don't know
           better how a particular index would affect performance.  Tell
           your ignorant lead programmer that it works on MSSQL because
           its optimizier works completely differently (duh, as if it
           needs to be said).

12/5    Any idea if there's a limit to the number of mount points an nfs
        client is allowed to have in either linux (any) or solaris (any)?
        I've got data all over the place and need each client to mount a *lot*
        of servers.  Thanks!
        \- not practically.
        \_ In the old days the max number of mount points was around 256.
           These days its probably a lot larger. If you are worried about
           this, the best solution would be to use automount. This would
                                                   \- i have reasonably large
                                                   automounter maps ... i see
                                                   automounter on solaris
                                                   grow over time to 100meg+
                                                   in size, so i could believe
                                                   there is some problem with
                                                   it that may manifest itself
                                                   with a huge number of
                                                   mounts. --psb
                                                   \_ Yeah, I've seen this
                                                      too, but if OP wants
                                                      to limit the number
                                                      of mount points used
                                                      on ave. then automounter
                                                      is the only real soln.
                The mounts are being hit all the time by various apps so _/
                automount won't really help.  I just need to know if there's
                a real limit and how far away I might be.  I've got 50+ now
                and was going to be maybe be adding another 50+ over the next
                2-3 months and then more after that every so often forever. I
                need to know in advance if I should be telling management they
                can't do what they're wanting to do or not.  Thanks!  --OP
                \_ You may be able to add lots of mount points but at some
                   stage beyond 200 or so you will start to see stability
                   and performance issues (at least with older versions of
                   linux, 2.0 and 2.2 kernels, and Solaris, 2.5, 2.6 and maybe
                   even 7). In the long run your best bet will be to ditch
                   nfs and to use something like afs which was designed to
                   handle your type of problem.
           limit the ave. number of mount points in use at any given time.
           \_ Thanks!

12/5    We have a Sun E4000 that was upgraded to Solaris9.  At some point
        "soon" after the upgrade the machine began to semi-crash each day
        right after midnight.  You still had a console prompt, but it
        loses its nis binding/domainname, loses the default route [cant
        ping it from another subnet], and all the daemons stop listening.
        Any ideas?
        \_ do you have all the latest Sol9 cluster patches installed?
        \_ did you turn off power management?
           \_ What would that do?  What should I look at?
              does something magic happen at midnight?
           \_ This would be my first guess too.  Take a look in /etc/rc*.d
              for S85power or something like it.  if it's there, take it
              out and run /etc/init.d/power stop.  It could be trying to
              drop to a different init level on some odd schedule.  kill
              vold while you're at it.  grr... --scotsman
              \_ What's wrong with vold?
                 \_ Its a pos.
                    \_ It is but it won't kill his computer like this.
                        \_ Yeah, but you might as well turn it off and
                           dtlogin.
                           \_ gasp! you'd disable the world's best GUI?!
                    \_ never had problems with it but the dtlogin should
                       certainly go on a server.
        \_ You have a bad cron job that runs at 00:00?
           \_ There are some accounting-related cron jobs, but I
              cant think of a "normal userland process" that can
              cause all of this.
              \_ Maybe it can if it runs as root.  I don't know.
                 \_ root's cron jobs run as root and thus can fuck up the
                    entire system the same as root @ the keyboard.
                    \_ Let me put it another way: There was no new cronjob
                       added after the upgrade.  Maybe some file isnt being
                       found but something like that cant cause you to lose
                       your default route.  I'll try checking the run level
                       via who -r before rebooting it again.
        \_ We had something like this.  It was system accounting runnning
           the machine out of memory.  Sometimes it rebooted, sometimes
           it hung as described.  No memory == can't fork new proceses
           from inetd == no telnet, ftp, etc. -ax
           \_ but non-inetd stuff dies, like the domain binding and
              default route being lost.
           \_ ooh.. Good one. --scotsman
           \_ system accounting and /var/adm/messages are for weenies.  Real
              men read the pretty lights and feel the hum.

12/5    I have about 60K airline miles with United.  I'm afraid of losing
        them if the company files for bankruptcy.  Anybody been through a
        similar situation with another airline?  Do bankrupt airlines that
        continue operating honor their airline miles?  I really don't want
        to just buy a ticket because trips have to be planned and I don't
        have any plans right now.
        \_ They claim they're planning to keep the frequent flier plan alive
           through the re-org because they want the repeat business.  If you
           go somewhere else you'll never come back and they know it.
        \_ 60k?  feh, 1k premier
           \_ huh?  what does one have to do with the other?  maybe he
              just uses a lot of miles?  i'm 10k, and i probably only have
              50 or 60k miles saved because i fly my wife with me on trips.
              \_ You expect it to make sense?  Motd.
        \_ People with lots of FF miles are business travellers for the most
           part. They're usually paying higher ticket prices due to last
           minute travel. United does NOT want to piss these people off. Your
           miles will be safe until United goes out of business.
           \_ Yeah yermom racks up quite a few miles.