4/3     The motd has been so boring lately, I'm forced to start posting
        the best of motd (tm).  I.e., motd re-runs.  Like the following
        thread.
        \_ You have shitty taste. There are many more better threads.

9/7     my boyfriend loves me, but he can't get it up.  what should i do?
        he says it's not my fault -- i need sex, but love him and won't
        leave him.
           \_ it is your fault, you are not a hottie.
        \_ Ask him if wearing leather would help. Otherwise, buy him
           a strap-on
           \_ Maybe he's a girly man and wants to take it in the
              behind rather than give it out. Buy yourself the strapon
              and give him a good riding. You may need to get him
              some lingere also.
        \_ buy a vibrator.  pearl rabbit makes you climax every time.
        \_ For some reason, I'm beginning to doubt the veracity of
           these motd counseling requests ...
                \_ You're only just now beginning to doubt them?
        \_ Maybe your boyfriend is not gay.  He needs to be turned on
           by a woman, not a man.
                \_ Maybe your boyfriend needs to be turned on by a
                   450-pound ex-male wrestler victim of steroid
                   hair growth halitosis experiments.  -John
           \_ I'm a woman!
              \_ You'd like to think that, now, would you, girly-man.
        \_ Just in case this is a serious post, here is a serious answer:
           Stress can cause a lot of sexual problems.  Try to get your
           boyfriend to relax before you initiate sex.  For example,
           give him a back rub or take a nap together and then try
           having sex.  Good luck.
           \_ Thank you.  It _was_ a serious posting.  I know I shouldn't
              post to the motd, but I'm trying to take every piece of advice
              I can get!  I can't even really talk to him about it much,
              he doesn't like to talk much about it.  He is a workaholic,
              and his stress has been higher lately.
              \_ Indeed.
        \_ He should see a urologist. It could be stress,
           testosterone levels, blood flow problems, etc.
        \_ Tell him you want to start seeing other people.
           \_ That is NOT going to reduce the guy's stress levels!
                \_ No, but she'll finally start getting some low stress sex
                   for herself.  He needs to go deal on his own time and stop
                   being a wimp.

4/3     What is advantage/disadvantage of various server-side scripting?
        JSP, M$ ASP, PHP?
        \_ Next page of replies summarized: Your mileage may vary.
        \_ visit link:www.codecharge.com for a nifty tool.  Otherwise, PHP is my
           favorite since it has source, is designed from ground zero for
           web-pages, and is cross-platform.
        \_ JSP -> Its java, its slow but its pretty secure and reasonably
                  well thought out.
           ASP -> Its M$. You are pretty much stuck to shitty x86 boxes
                  running windows if you want ASP. Yes there is Sun's
                  Chillsoft ASP for Linux but they you are stuck with
                  shitty x86 boxes running Linux. In either case your
                  box will be r00ted in a short time, so you will need
                  to get lots of boxes and keep reimaging them frequently.
           PHP -> D00D PHP 15 S0 '1337. It is OSS and all that other
                  GN00 non-sense and in addition it is a immature language
                  saddled with horrible half broken libraries that have
                  inconsistent volatile interfaces and "object models".
                  Given the right circumstances (ask php to exec a ten
                  line c program that fork's and execs) and it will lock
                  up you machine. And don't even think about doing db
                  interactions in php.
          If it were up to me, I'd say go with perl (modperl or fastcgi)
          or java servlets instead of these stupid scripting languages.
          If you are really interested in speed, security and flexbility
          write the damn thing in C.
          \_ PHP, JSP and perl all have better security features than C.
             \_ Name them. Name a single "feature" that cannot be
                implemented in C.
                \_ He can't.  What he's really saying is his coding fu
                   is weak and he needs a baby scripting language to
                   coddle him through at the expense of speed and power.
                   \_ I would not consider perl a "baby scripting
                      language", but you are right on all other
                      counts.
                      \_ I'm a perl coder and I've seen them on TV.  It's
                         easier than C and slower thus I call it a baby
                         scripting language.
          \_ Everything is possible in C, just not necessarily as easy.
             You get a *lot* of speed but give up everything else for it.
                   and therefore already in memory so the context switch cost
                   is going to be low relative to the speed gained for any
                   non-trivial program and even many trivial ones.  Try it
                   yourself.  You'll see.   --done it before
             \_ uh... how can you get speed writing server-side stuff
                in C?
                \_ Why not?  What's so magical about "server side" that makes
                   C slow?  Are you sure you know what "server side" means?
              \_ There is a direct correlation between the two. You can't spend
                 3 years building all the things in C that are free w/ MS or
                 Java. So you just don't have those things. So your shit sucks
                 because it is slow or lacks features.
                \_ Java and Perl code tends to run from within Web server/
                   app-server process space, ie down't spawn new processes.
                   C CGI, on the other hand, will probably be forking a new
                   process for every shitty little page, which is totally not
                   worth it. Hence, C CGI tends to be a good deal slower than
                   Perl/Java.   -muchandr
                   \_ Uh oh... someone is unaware that a C app will be cached
                      and therefore already in memory so the context switch
                      cost is going to be low relative to the speed gained
                      for any non-trivial program and even many trivial ones.
                      Try it yourself.  You'll see.   --done it before
                   \_ C code can be run in the context of the web server if
                      desired by writting a trivial module that uses shared
                      memory to communicate with your real C deamons that do
                      all the work.
        \_ Speed Java (/ASP?) >> Speed C when you think about all the tools
           for Java that are available to do things like load balancing, cxn
           mgmt, etc.
           \_ No.  This is development time not code speed.
              \_ There is a direct correlation between the two. You can't
                 spend 3 years building all the things in C that are free
                 w/ MS or Java. So you just don't have those things. So
                 your shit sucks because it is slow or lacks features.
                 \_ a few clues: libraries, code borrowing, thanks for being
                    with us today, Rice A Roni on your way out.  And for some
                    things 3 years to build something that will be fast when
                    it's done is better than 6 months for something that will
                    always be too slow.
                    \_ and what happened to Kiva? NetDynamics? iPlanet?
                       all that beautiful C++ code got thrown away in favor
                       of the Java reference implementation. -gosha
                       \_ C++?!?!  Are you fucking insane?  How dare you put
                          C++ into the same sentence as C!?!  WTF is wrong
                          with you?  Of course the C++ code got thrown away!
                          Like, uhm, duh!  Damn, has the whole motd gone 420?
              \_ C is slow.  Write code in assembly.
                 \_ 010100110101101011100111001010110011001101010101010100101
                    \_ do it in hardware.
                       \_ Provide a lab and I'm there.
        \_ Tcl... like Perl but faster learning curve
           \_ Madness ye all who pass this way!
           \_ who gave phil greenspun a csua account?

4/3     What is '1337 ?
        \_ What.  Is.  Hip?  (what is hip)
           \_ home ip.  uc berkeley's dialup hell.
        \_ Where is phillip?
        \_ kids these days...
           \_ yeah go figure.  don't even know 318 speak anymore....
        \_ elite. 1-> l, 3->e, 7->t. "leet"->"elite"

4/3     Anyone need a Perl/Ruby/Apache/FreeBSD/C/Random Misc. Web, Devel,
        and Sysadmin sorta guy?  I need a job.  --dbushong
        \_ Dave is the best sysadmin I've ever worked with.  He's a skilled
           programmer to boot.  If you have a thorn-in-your-side coder/
           developer/sysadmin you've been looking to replace, find a reason.
           \_ Sounds like a boat rocker.  I wouldn't hire him.
        \_ On the same note, any 2002 grads find a job yet? Pay range? $60K?
           How about people go graduated 1-3 years ago but lost their job.
           Were you able to find another job?
           \_ I guess new CSUA'ers are unemployable these days.
           \_ Yes.  Mid 70s.
        \_ Dice, monster, flipdog, hotjobs, etc.  You'll waste a lot of time
           talking to recruiters and interviewing at bad places but it'll
           happen before you starve to death if you're not inflicted with
           the plague or smallpox.
           \_ I've done (and am doing) all these.  I didn't say I couldn't
              get a job, but hey, jobs through friends are niftier and stuff.
              --dbushong
              \_ It was my way of saying, "No if my company needed someone like
                 \_ It's the CSUA; if these people other folks on the motd
                 that they'd just ask me to do it".  Oh wait, they already do.
              \_ um, and random people post on the motd would all be your
                 friends now?
                 \_ dbushong is my friend, and he doesn't even know it.
                    Thanks for all the freebsd tips.
                 \_ It's the CSUA; if these other folks on the motd
                    aren't your friend then who is?  Your Everquest guild? We
                    all know how *that* turned out!
                    \_ I don't know. How did it turn out?
                       \_ Suicide and lawsuits.
                \_ Everyone in the CSUA is your friend.

4/3     Has anyone tried Cygwin? How is it?
        \_ If you're willing to put in the effort to get it configured and
           running you'll get a decent system.  A friend of mine compiled and
           ran apache on cygwin/nt with numerous mods for a production server.
           It 'worked' but I would not do this in any place I cared about.  I
           provide this only as an example of what can be done, not what should
           be done.  Think of the children!
        \_ If you're willing to put in the effort to get it configured
           and running you'll get a decent system.  A friend of mine
           compiled and ran apache on cygwin/nt with numerous mods for
           a production server. It 'worked' but I would not do this in
           any place I cared about.  I provide this only as an example
           of what can be done, not what should be done.  Think of the
                                           Lorelai, is that you? _/
           children!
        \_ My laptop dual boots to Linux/Win2K. I got sick of rebooting
           to do development, so installed cygwin and use it to this end.
           I'm doing my whole 162 project using it this semester and
           haven't encountered any problems. I even got the mips cross-
           compiler to work using cygwin gcc (thanks to this guy:
              http://upe.cs.berkeley.edu/~jeffpang/cs162 )     - rory
        \_ If you want a half broken UNIX environment on your Windows
           system, Cygwin is the way to go. If you are just interested
           in a half broken UNIX environment, just install '1337 GN00
           L1NUX instead.

4/3     http://www.rectaltronics.com should be a very popular CSUA site.

4/5     Does gnome's transparency work in Exceed?
        \_ I never understoof why one would want transparent windows.  Doesn't
           it just make it harder to read?

4/4     Is there a way to make Apache case-insenstive (on Solaris)?
        (i.e., http://foo.com/cgi-bin/bar?param1=foobar should be
        the same as http://foo.com/Cgi-bIn/BaR?param1=foobar; obvisouly,
        I can write my cgi-bin's so that all the params are
        case-insenstive, but the leading URIs?)
        I have used google and have been on Apache's web site.  Thx.
        [...]
                      \_ Look, dummy, the answer is you can't do it.  Your only
                         other choice is hacking the url parse code in apache
                         to lower case the entire URL.  Good luck with your
                         coding project.
                         \_ Ok, thx.  That's what I thought and I just
                            needed someone to confirm it.
                            \_ it's wrong.  mod_speling does exactly what
                               you want.  Try it, nimrod.
                               \_ why is "mod_speling" spelled with only one
                                  L?  Is it supposed to be some dumb attempt at
                                  being humorous?
                                \_ yes.  laugh a little!
        \_ Wow this was tough to find.  Took me about 15 seconds.
           http://httpd.apache.org/docs/misc/FAQ-H.html#rewrite-nocase
           You're welcome.
           \_ errr...I have read that and the speling module.  mod_speling
              only makes the document name referenced case-insenstive, not
              all the elements that construct the URI.
              all the elements that construct the URI. From Apache:
              "the module is unable to correct misspelled user names (as
               in <DEAD>my.host/~apahce<DEAD> just file names or directory
               names."
              \_ Grasshopper, the wind blows through the trees yet disturbs
                 not the trunk, only the leaves....
                 \_ huh?
                    \_ Grasshopper, the answer lies before your eyes are
                       darkened by your own thoughts.
                \_ it corrects directory names, can't you read?
        \_ Run apache on windows.
           \_ Ew.

4/3     This speaks for itself:
        crebbs          -       vi geekcode.312
        I love the CSUA.

4/3     Barry Bonds is the best position player ever to play the game
        of baseball.
        \_ Too bad he's a prick. Besides, this is motd. Who's Barry?
        \_ Why is this here wasting precious bits?
           \_ precious? i have yet to come across one bit here that was
              remotely precious.
              \_ Exactly.  They're all squeezed out by this kind of noise.
                 \_ Which still means I should've come across at least some
                    semblence of preciousness in my eight years here.

4/3     My former landlord just bitched me out on the phone saying
        something about too much of my old mail going to her address.
        (My apartment was in her backyard.) Now I'm pissed off...
        Is there some easy way to flood her with loads of junk mail?
        \_ call the church of scientology and tell them you want to
           sign a "friend" up.  just don't ever ever ever give them
           post office.  http://www.usps.gov
           your address. they will send a mailing or so per week
           until she tells them to stop, then they up it to one per day.
        \_ You should be more responsible and forward your mail to your new
           address.  For starters, file a change of address form with the
           post office.  http://www.usps.gov  Then you can file with the
           Direct Marketing Association (http://www.the-dma.org to stop most
           of your junk mail at your old address.
           \_ Don't file that form! The number one way to show up on junk
              mailers' lists is change-of-address forms. If you really want to
              reduce the volume, foregoe that form and take care of forwarding
              case-by-case. The DMA suggestion is good, but will only stop
              mail from member-junk mailers (=~ 75% from personal experience).
              For more info check out http://www.obviously.com/junkmail.html
               -- ulysses
              \_ I e-mailed the USPS last year to ask them to remove my address
                 from any mailing lists they sell, but the reply said the USPS
                 doesn't sell any mailing lists.  So how do the new addresses
                 on the change-of-address form go to the junk mailers?
        \_ Why don't you just ignore her?  You obviously don't care about the
           mail.
           \_ I don't care about the old mail at all... but I think she
              is a total bitch and I think it would be funny and probably
              really piss her off if I could get a bunch more junk mail
              going to her house. I guess I'm a vengeful person.
              \_ get some credit card numbers from the trash at a gas
                 station where the reciepts contain numbers(there are
                 lots of these) and order from a payphone tons of stuff
                 to her place.  the credit card owner will not be charged
                 when they see that 100 dildos have been sent to some random
                 address, but she will be investigated for fraud.
              \_ I suggest prozac, meditation, maturity and letting it go.
                 I don't see what you think you have to seek revenge for,
                 anyway.  Growing up would make your life happier.
              \_ Fill a paper bag full of dog poop, put it on her
                 door step, light it on fire, then ring the doorbell
                 and hide somewhere (where you can watch the fun). I
                 did this once when I was in Junior High School and it
                 was real funny. You are still in Junior High School, right?

4/4     What's the mp3 finder of choice now aside from kazaa?
        \_ AudioGalaxy
                \_ you know, this trojans your browser
        \_ probably, but a fun way to run audiogalaxy is on a linux
           box somewhere, and to do searches with your web browser
        \_ gnucleus... Open-source gnutella client :)
           on the computer of your choice, so there's no way you
           can be trojaned.
        \_ I use Grokster with all the spyware chopped out by AdAware.
           \_ You think so....

4/4     http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20020404/pl_nm/crime_spying_report_dc_2
        "According to the report on the case, Russia formally complained to the
        United States that an FBI agent tried to sell secrets to Moscow, but
        the FBI was not able to identify the spy within its ranks, the Post
        said."  Why on earth would any country, even allies like Britain,
        complain to the US that someone is trying to sell them US secrets?  It
        doesn't make sense to me.
        \_ As a show of goodwill,  why not?
        \_ pretty sure he is a double agent?
        \_ He was selling them stuff they already had so it cost them nothing
           to turn his ass in and make them look good for free?

4/5     Part time perl from home job.
        http://www.craigslist.org/sfo/sfc/sof/3398327.html
        Not for me but I figured some of you might be into it.