5/6     Q: What happens when the Mummy buys something at Fry's?
        A: The Mummy Returns!
        The Mummy: It was standing in the return line at Fry's that
                   made me a Mummy in the first place.
        \_ The Mummy 2: non-stop action, minimal plot, minimal T&A.  Turn off
           brain and enjoy.  --motd movie critic
           \_ So it was a fun movie to watch? - thinking about d/l'ing
              from hl but don't want to waste the time if it sucked.
                \_ the mummy returns was horrible!
                   \_ "Turn off brain and enjoy"  --motd movie critic
              \_ Saw it and thoroughly enjoyed it. It really is a fun movie.
                 \_ I guess I will d/l it then.

5/6     Fiesta in the Park, BBQ at  3, Bands at 7 (Rock&Roll Adv kids + djs)
        mario's food/refreshments/snocones.  Baloons, pinata, you get the
        idea. located at davis park, by dwight+telegraph
        \_ is that peoples park?

5/6     When is Mother's Day?
        \_ the 13th
        \_ you're mom's not jewish, is she?
        \_ your mom's not jewish, is she?
           \_ Hello?  College student?  "you're" = a contraction of "you are".
              "your" is the word you're (you are) looking for.
           \_ Catholic
        \_ First Sunday in may, I.e. TODAY YOU LOSER!
           \_ coulda sworn it was next week... the 13th
           \_ No, it's the second Sunday in May.
        \_ When is yermom's day?
           \_ everyday is yermom's day
                \_ or night.
                \_ Everyday is my lucky day

5/7     Today is "Put Your Entire Porn Collection in Your Public HTML
        Directory Day."
        \_ D00D, N0 1 DL5 pr0n FR0M 7H3 W3B, 37337 H4X0R5 U53 H1!
           7H3 B1G R3D H RU13Z!

5/7     Anyone ever get ill from eating out a girl?
        \_ In theory, you or she could get AIDS...
        \_ And herpes and a long list of other things.  Yes, many have.  Go
           see a doctor.
        \_ And herpes and a long list of other things.  Yes, many have.
           Go see a doctor.
        \_ Yes, the bill came to be $46.17 and I almost had a
           heart attack.
           \_ That's it? You're pretty cheap.
              \_ No I'm frugal.
                 \_ Tell her that.  "Honey, I know this is our first date and
                    we're only going to Burger King, but I'm frugal and you're
                    just going to have to accept that."  "Ok, Jack, that's ok.
                    I can find someone who isn't so cheap and will spend more
                    on a date than I spent on my makeup."

5/6     According to http://www.pge.com we're in a stage 1 power emergency.  I
        didn't see anywhere that said if we're doing rolling blackouts today
        or not and which areas.  Anyone got a URL?  My power blipped out twice
        just now and it'd be nice to know.
        \_ rolling blackouts don't hit until stage 3.  -tom
           \_ Rolling blackouts don't hit until you get a liberal fool in
              office.
                \_ the mad anonymous Republican troll strikes again!
           \_ Ok, now we're in stage 2.  Anyone got a URL?
              \_ Check http://www.sfgate.com  They usually have pretty good
                 coverage on power blackouts.  Second half of block 14 is next.
        \_ News releases from the CA ISO:
           http://www.caiso.com/newsroom/pw2000.html -- yuen
        \_ Turn off your monitors and lights when you leave your offices / labs
           / classrooms.  Screensavers only save the screen, not electricity!
           \_ Actually, screens haven't needed saving for years now. We're far
              removed from the days of image burn-ins.
        \_ If you'd like to know, get on the email notification list. Sorry,
           cant remember if it's on http://pge.com or http://sfgate.com

5/6     why are men into different parts of women, such as breasts,
        butt, stomach?  advertising? biology?
        \_ notice the top of the breasts and the butt are similar in nature.
           Also, body shape is important because it signals a woman
           is fertile and healthy.  Also, the woman has two lips (one
           on the face, one lower).  Why can lipstick be so alluring?  Well,
           during heat, the woman's "lower lip" becomes red.  I watched some
           of this on the TLC/Discovery channel.
        \_ Its all about mating. Once you get over the mating bit,
           you see that these things are not that important.  Civilized
           human beings understand that the body is a perishible thing
           and any attachment to its beauty is the result of ignorance.
        \_ Butt is not important. Only breasts (too small == no fun),
           stomach (too big == no fun) and pussy (too small == no fun,
           too big == no fun) are important. The face isn't important
           either, you can always put a bag over her head. - #1 mac daddy
           \_ So if she had perfect tits, stomach and pussy but was ugly as
              hell and had a 300 lbs ass you'd like that?
              \_ Okay, big ass == no fun. But ugly face is okay, just put
                 a bag over her head. - #1 mac daddy
                 \_ flat or too small ass == no fun either.
                    \_ flat or too small is still doable, fat ass is
                       undoable. - #1 mac daddy
                       \_ sure it is. you just have to be in the right mindset.
                          cast off your pop culture worldview. i used to think
                          like you, but months spent staring at this one chubby
                          teacher and this other chubby t.a. changed me. it
                          needs to be healthy looking fat though, not waddling
                          sweaty folding fat.
                          \_ Yeah, you stick to the ugly, uh I mean healthy,
                             fat chicks and I'll screw the good ones. - #1 mac
                             daddy
                       \_ u not #1 mac daddy. Real mack know worth of big
                          but shapely butt
                          \_ u can keep dating your fat rapper ex-girl
                             friends, and I'll keep mac'ing on supermodels.
                             - #1 mac daddy
                             \_ don't be dissing ghetto booty
                                \_ u can keep them black asses. I'll stick
                                   to white and yellow. - #1 mac daddy
        \_ For some weird reason this troll just didn't work.  Is the motd
           becoming too blase?
           \_ how is it not working?  What kind of responses were you
              expecting?
              \_ It's due to the patriarchial fetishizing and the economic
                 exploitation of womens bodies. Not just T&A, but eyes, hair,
                 lips, feet, toes, teeth, earlobes, small of the knee
                 that bear the objectifying male gaze.
                 \_ Get thee to the kitchen, wench, and fetch me a beer.
                 \_ Yeah yeah like women don't objectify men.  Not to say that
                    two wrongs makes a right or anything but this isn't a one
                    way trip.  Women are not virginal innocents just waiting
                    to be exploited.  I know you're not being serious but this
                    was crying out to be said.  Any of you geek boys wonder why
                    you don't get laid?  Because women make judgement calls on
                    men's appearance, too.  Take a shower.
                    \_ I know what you mean. I just hate it when women at
                       parties are eyeing me checking out my package and making
                       comments about my cute tight butt. It gets especially
                       bad when they start groping me after they get a few
                       drinks in them. It's like considered "OK" to do that
                       because they are women and i'm a guy.  I feel sooo used.
                        \_ No, more like they stand around the women's bathroom
                           talking about how little your penis is compared to
                           their last date but you've got a job so it's ok for
                           now until she finds a man.

5/7     Happy birthday brg!

5/7     Anyone see 'Finding Forrester'? Any good?
        \_ "who's the man now, dog?"
           \_ I'd pay seven bucks to hear Connery deliver that line.
              Connery on SNL celebrity jeopardy = hilarious, btw.
              \_ "buck futter"?

5/7     Anybody ever been audited by the IRS?  I know every case is different,
        but do they ever go through your bank statement and ask you where
        every deposit came from?   Thanks.
        \_ Yes they do.
        \_ First thing you do if you get audited is hire a tax lawyer who deals
           specifically with helping people through audits.  The last thing the
           IRS wants to deal with is someone who fights back.

5/7     What are your favorite expressions taken from fairy tales?
        I'm trying to find a lot of them.  Things like "wolf in sheep's
        clothing", etc.
        \_ Is this homework?
        \_ "Sour grapes".
        \_ you mean fables, not fairy tales
           \_ No.  Most of them come from the Grimm's Brother Fairy Tales.
              The original poster has it correct.  The book is also known as
              The Tales of the Brothers Grimm for the pedantic.  You and the
              "I think I know regex but don't" person are wrong.
              \- "wolf sheep clothes" and "sour grapes" are morals for aesop's
              fables. "mirror mirror" is not a moral. are you looking for
              morals, epigrams etc or "random famous phrases"? ok tnx --psb
              \_ I'd swear there's a Grimm version of both.  I'll check my
                 copy later.
                \- psb is correct.  --tom
                   \_ Thank you for your valuable validation, Thomas. --!psb
        \_ Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
           \_ yermom.
        \_ isn't this a pretty regular expression: /g/fairy/s/fable  ?
        \_ boy who cried wolf
        \_ Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his mocassins.

5/7     http://www.sptimes.com/News/050401/TampaBay/Unusual_otter_attack_.shtml
        Attack otter kills dog, attacks man's foot.  All otters must be
        licensed and confined or destroyed.  Let's do it for the children!
        \_ Let's sue the otter industry!

5/7       name the game:  runs on linux, 2D scroller with a spaceship fighting
          these big maze things with guns.  The only way to destroy the maze
          things is to shott certain nodes; their destruction unravells part
          of the maze, eventually exposing the core.  What is the name fo the
          game?                                   -brain

5/7     Glad I'm not running Win32:
        http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/4/18734.html
        I wonder how it feels to be 0WNZ3D?
        \_ damn you. stop being a little kid. Stop using numbers as letters
           and capitalizing crap.
           \_ Sounds like someone is bitter about being R0X0R3D.

5/7     Ideal penis size poll:
        shorter than my own size: .
        my size:         ...
        some other size:
        \_ How do people measure penis size? Measure the top side, or
           measure from the tip to the beginning or the scrotum? Or
           average the two? How do you take into account the curvature?
           \_ However you can get the biggest measurement. Also, every
              one else's dick is shorter than yours because they cheat
              in the measurement and then lie about it.
              \_ No.  They just lie about it.  Their Ex-gf's don't.

5/7     Would you live with your in-laws if you didn't have to pay rent?
        yes:    .
        no:     .....
        \_ Would you live with your in-laws if they didn't have to pay rent?
           yes: .
           no:  ..
        \_ Would you live with your in-laws if they have to pay you rent?
           yes: .
           no:  ..

5/7     Ideal breast size poll:
        None:
        < AA:
        AA:
        A: ...
        \_ Is this for real or a sick joke? Or an asian fetish thing?
           \_ For real. There are many reasons why small is better (but
              not too small or else your chest will be bigger than hers).
              I saw a list on a website once but I'll give you a few.
              They're cute and perky, they hold their form without support
              better than larger ones do generally, women sometimes go
              without that annoying thing we call bras, they don't sag
              as much as larger ones, and its easier to find women with
              A's and B's that are all-natural and aren't grossly overweight.
              \_ No bra good! No bra, see through shirt even better!
                 No bra, see through shirt, short skirt, no panties
                 best! Esp. if asian!
           \_ Dude, 30A's are pretty hot! Brings out the pedophile in
              all of us.
           \_ Asians don't have breasts. A would be large for an
              asian.
              \_ Wrong. There are fat big breasted chinese and indian
                 women. Unattractive, but still they exists.
                 \_ Indian women are the most attractive women in the world.
                    They also have the right attitude in bed (gotta love that
                    cultural indoctrination).
                    \_ Wrong. Japanese School girls are the most attractive
                       women in the world. - #1 fan of rice fever
              \_ Wrong.  I saw a few with C's and D's with small waists at a
                 shopping mall just yesterday.  If you only hang out in
                 Chinatown your chances will be lower.
                 \_ which shopping mall? Surely not Valley Fair or Vallco.
        B: ..
        C: ..
        D: ...
        D - DD (aka "large D"):
                                \_ I prefer Double-Ds, one in each hand.
                                   - Bill C.
                                   \_ Is that Monica's size?
                                              \_ Monica who? - Bill C.
                                                 \_ Oh Mr. President, don't
                                                    you remember me? - Girl in
                                                    the blue gap dress
        > D:
        \_ The relative chest:bust ratio is more important than the
           absolute size of the breasts.
           \_ It's the relative chest/waist/butt ratio that is important. 3:2:3
             \_ the ability to titty-f is my primary desire, hence absolute
                size is important.
             \_ Both are important to me.
        \_ While we're on this topic, it seems to me that the actual sizes of
           the same cup size measurement (e.g. D-cup) in US and in Japan are
           different.  Is it really the case?
           \_ In theory it's one inch per letter, but like most clothing size
              things, different companies do different things.
           \_ Japanese women with smaller perkier breasts are preferable
              to fat white US women with bigger saggier breasts.
                \_ Lack of choice may lead Japanese men to that conclusion.
        \_ 6 year olds still don't have cup sizes
           \_ Hee hee!  I think that was a joke!  Hee hee!
           \_ Asian women don't have cup sizes either.
           \_ ... especially 6 year old boys.
              \_ get your sick gay ass off the motd
                \_ Where are the soda ladies complaining about this ?
                   I am soo tired of seeing women treated like this on
                   the motd .. a non-female soda ite
                   \_ They are barefoot, pregnant and have gone to the
                      kitchen to get me a beer - #1 white male oppressor
                   \_ There are women on soda? Wow! Pics Please!
                      BTW, how do I sign up for a date with one
                      of them?
                        \_ There's a web form.

5/7     Why do the simpsons have no episodes dealing with islam?
        \_ http://iSlam.com ?  Is that like a basketball site or something?

5/7     What's the difference between weight training and strength training?