Berkeley CSUA MOTD:2001:May:05 Saturday <Sunday>
Berkeley CSUA MOTD
2001/5/5-17 [Uncategorized] UID:21168 Activity:nil
04/20   rh7.1 isos: (they work now)
2001/5/5 [Uncategorized] UID:21169 Activity:nil
5/5     States of rebellion are coooool.  -geordan
        \_ Is that next to Wisconsin?  -John
                           \_ no dumbbass
                              \_ what's a smart bass?
2001/5/5 [Politics/Foreign/Asia/China, Politics/Foreign] UID:21170 Activity:nil
5/4 my favorite line:

        China frequently accuses the United States of acting as if it is above
        the law and Friday's commentary said "the Bush administration's
        behavior in the past 100 days has illustrated that an
        ultra-self-centered 'America first' attitude is gaining more ground in
        U.S. foreign policy."

        Imagine that?  America's foreign policy would dare to put American
        interests first?  I'm ashamed to be a citizen of a country that doesn't
        put the rest of the world first....
2001/5/5 [Recreation/Dating] UID:21171 Activity:nil
5/4     What was the url to the hot chick (would you date her?) from a few
        days ago? couldn't find in the motd archive...
        \_ I think the woman you're referring to was tera patrick.  I can't
           remember the URL.  You could check the motd archive....   -mice
        \_ You mean ?  Is she hot?
           \_ She somehow exudes an aura of 'bitch'.
        \_ Wouldn't you rather date:
           \_ No.  She looks like a child.  Too young.
              \_ she's not "too young", she just has no boobs. Which is
                 an equally good reason to not date her.
2001/5/5 [Science/GlobalWarming, Finance/Investment] UID:21172 Activity:nil
5/4 for the full text
        of the Kyoto protocol.  This is the full, real text.  As far as I can
        tell it matches various versions from other places around the net.
        \ who cares about enviromentalism? It's a joke. If you are TRUE
          enviromentalist, you'd bury yourself in the ground right this
          minute so the earth can recycle your body. Because more than likely
          you are going to have kids, they are going to have kids, and all
          your offspring are going to waste so much "precious resources"
          in their upbringing that all the protest, conservation, and etc.
          is not going to do squat. So PLEASE, get real, kill yourself now.
             \_ One word... vasectomy
          \_ so the idea is, consume and pollute now as much as possible?
             shouldn't we be dumping lots of mercury in the oceans then?
             based on your premise do you support zero population growth?
          \_ Nah, it's more effective and efficient eliminating pigs like
             you instead of environmental lovers like the above.
             \_ Who are you referring to as the "environmental lover"?
                \_ People who love the environment .. duh!
                   \_ There was a specific reference to "the above".  "duh!"
                      I wanted to know which of "the above" was being refered
                      to.   "duh!"
          \_ i would agree except that it's not about wasting resources,
             it's about protecting air and water quality which we depend
             on for our health right here and now, and also about protecting
             natural environments because they are valuable to the people
             for recreation, because we can learn things from them, and
             because they are basically irreplaceable. pollution harms
             these things at the expense of society and not at the short
             term expense of those who are polluting. this is why governments
             need to intervene. i don't believe in limiting resource
             consumption as a goal in itself.
             \_ Oh, so Mother Nature needs a favor! Well maybe she should
                have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts
                and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for
                survival and now she wants to quit because she's losing?
                Well, I say 'Hard cheese!
                                         \_ You need to add a second quote,
                                            and a period.
                \_ Boohoo!  Mommy Nature spanked me again!
2001/5/5 [Finance] UID:21173 Activity:nil
   Once  upon  a  time,  pretty  Polly Nomial was skipping through a field of
vectors when she came to the edge of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was
convergent,  and  her mother had made it an absolute condition that she never
entered  such  an  array  without  her brackets on. But Polly had changed her
variables  that  morning and had been feeling particularly badly behaved, she
ignored  her mothers's condition on the grounds that it was insufficient, and
made her way in among the complex elements.

   Rows  and  columns  enveloped  her  on  all sides. Tangents approached her
surface.  She  grew  tensor  and  tensor. Quite suddenly, three branches of a
hyperbola  touched  her at a single point, she oscillated wildly and lost all
sense  of  directrix. She tripped over a square root protruding from the erf,
and  tumbled  headlong  down  a  steep  gradient.  When she was once again in
possesion  of  her variables, she found herself apparently in a non-euclidean
space.  She  was  being watched, however: that smooth operator, Curly Pi, was
lurking  inner  product.  As his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, a
singular  expression  crossed  his  face. Was she convergent? He wondered. He
decided  to integrate improperly at once. Hearing an improper fraction behind
her,   Polly  rotated  and  saw  Curly  approaching  with  his  power  series
extrapolated.  She  could  tell  at  once  from  his degenerate conic and his
dissipative terms that he was bent to no good.

   ``Eureka!'' she gasped.

   ``Ho,ho,''  said our operator. ``What a symetric little asymptote you have. I
bet your angles are just dripping with secs.''

   ``Stay away from me!'' she said. ``I haven't got my brackets on.''

   ``Calm yourself, my dear,'' he said.  ``Your fears are purely imaginary.''

   ``I,   I,''   she  thought,  ``Maybe  he's  not  normal..Maybe  he's  even  a

   ``What order are you?'' the brute demanded.

   ``Seventeen,'' she replied.

   Curly  leered.  ``Enough of this idle chatter. Lets go to a decimal place I
know, and I'll take you to the limit.''

   ``Never!'' she gasped.

   ``Arcsinh!!!''  He  swore  the  vilest  oath  he  knew. Coshing her over the
coefficient   with   a  log  until  she  was  powerless,  Curly  removed  her
discontinuities.  He stared at her significant places and began smoothing out
her points of inflection. Poor Polly. She could feel his hand tending towards
her  asymptotic  limit.  The  algorithmic  method  was now her only hope. Her
convergence would soon be gone forever.

   Curly's  radius  squared  itself. Polly's loci quivered. He intergrated by
parts.  He  intergrated  by partial fractions. The complex beast even went all
the  way around and did a contour intergration. Curly went on operating until
he was completely and totally exhausted of all his primitive roots.

   When  Polly  arrived home that night, her mother noticed that she had been
truncated  in  several places. But it was too late to differentiate now. Nine
transformations  later,  she  went  to  L'Hopital  and  generated a small but
pathological  function  which  left zeros and residues all over the place and
drove poor Polly to deviation.

   The  moral  of  this  story  is:  If  you  want  to  keep your expressions
convergent, keep them well differentiated from complex operators.
\_ "intergrated"?
2001/5/5-7 [Recreation/Food, Recreation/Pets] UID:21174 Activity:insanely high
5/5     At top dog, what type of sausage do you like best?  My favorite
        is the calabrese.
        \_ Bird Dog
           \_ Bird, Dawg:
              \_ ouch.  that almost as awful as
              \_ ouch.  that's almost as awful as
                 \_ even nastier
              \_ nasty.
           \_ You son of a motherless goat! Only an idiot with his head
              stuck in his urethra could possibly stand a Bird Dog.
              You call yourself an eater of meat?
                \_ There's not much other choice if you're not an eater
                         of swine.
           \_ what's a bird dog?  Chicken and turkey combination?
              BTW, is it still open till 2:00am?
              \_ yes. yes.
              \_ depends on which Top Dog.  Northside Top Dog has different
                 hours than the southside one, I think.
                 \_ northside closes ~11pm
                 \_ the hours are different on different days, too.
        \_ Lubricated Kielbasa.
        \_ you know, I haven't been to Top Dog for so long, I think when
           I visit, I'll take some.  Berkeley actually has lots of good
           food, inexpensive and medium priced.  Does Lyon's in Emerville
           still close at Midnight?
        \_ Hot link.
        \_ what is the correct way to pronounce "calabrese"?
           \_ Kah-Lah-Breh-Seh, and roll your 'r's.  -John
             \| no.  change the "Seh" to "Zeh".  -dpetrou
                \_ Zorry about zat.  -John
                        \_ It's pronounced "Cal"!  -tom
        \_ Smocked chicken apple is good.
           \_ they haev a hot dog made out of soy ... what's it called?  The
        \_ German bratwurst (or was it bockwurst?)
                  \_ yum!              \_ ick!
        \_ Calabrese and Hot Link
        \_ Lemon Chicken
        \_ mmmm. cock.
        \_ Gave up eating meat. But I used always have a Hot Link or whatever
           they were called.
           \_ Your mom had a hot link last night.
              \_ I did not. - yermom
           \_ they have a hot dog made out of soy ... what's it called?  The
        \_ top dog.  lemon chicken.  I miss the New York frankfurters. dont you?
2001/5/5 [Recreation/Dating, Academia/Berkeley/CSUA/Troll/TJB] UID:21175 Activity:nil
5/5     A new day, a new motd!
        \_ blah, blah, politics, china, blah, bush, blah, ride bike, ed,
           linsux, blah, blah, backup strategies, chix, azn chix, troll,
           troll, blah, troll, dot com, c++, lisp, blah, tjb, sex tools
Berkeley CSUA MOTD:2001:May:05 Saturday <Sunday>